The New Generation
by Code32
Summary: Many years have passed since the Tag race that would decide the fate of Earth and now a new story unfolds. Tomobiki will become the epicenter of all things weird once again.
1. Kitsune Ken, The Trickster

Urusei Yatsura 2 The New Generation

* * *

Chapter 1"Kitsune Ken, the trickster"

Well, this is my first time writing a fanfic of any sort so I'll cut things short and just get to the point. The actions here take place long after the end of the second tag race in Urursei Yatsura. And a lot of the cast is different; you'll see a lot of familiar faces as expected but not too many in the beginning chapters, specially since this will focus on the later generations after them. If anything it's a retelling of sorts. BIG OC warning

All characters belong to their respective owners, the original characters from Urusei Yatsura cast belong to Rumiko Takahashi.

Enjoy

* * *

This is the town of Tomobiki, located in the Nerima prefecture in Tokyo, Japan. A quiet place to live, not much happens around here, although I frankly wouldn't know...I'm fairly new around here. It's the year 2012, September, and today is Butsumetsu‚…yeah, today is gonna suck, but first thing's first

I suppose introductions are in order: the name's Ken Aoki, though people around here have started giving me the nickname "Kitsune" for some time now. Why? They say I'm like a Kitsune youkai (goblin would be the closest approximation to the english language), so I'm a bit of a prankster…and I get into fights a lot…and I've got pretty weird luck… ok so I'm not exactly the most popular teenager around here, but what do I care what other dudes say about me, I'm here for the ladies. But enough about that, I'm going to tell you a story…

About how my life was ruined...by an Oni

* * *

"**KITSUNE!** "

"Gyah!" woke up in a start, my boss was yelling at me again and I was haven' such a nice dream, oh right, you guys need some background:

This is where I work, a little grocery store. The guy yelling at me just now? His name is Kousuke Shirai. Usually easygoing but big on trying to change my mischievious ways. Yeah, like I need any of that around here. I work here the night shifts since I live on my own (I got my reasons). But the store's a cool place to check out the sights, if you catch my drift, or take a quick snooze if there's nothing interesting around here.

See that guy with the stunning good looks, wasting away his 16 years of age in this place as a mop boy, that's me. Messy hair in a ponytail (Hey, your hair would be messy too if you couldn't afford any hair products), ragged pants, an old t-shirt, a charm necklace, and some geta on my feet (once again, all I could afford), my wardrobe was rather shabby but my looks were the ones that were stunning.

Anyway back to the story, where was I?

"KITSUNE! " My boss hollered again

"Tch! I'm NOT a kitsune!" I never said I liked the nickname...

"Ken, you were sleeping again! On the job! You were supposed to mop the floor!"

"Eh, gimme a break, today wasn't an easy day for me at school, that bastard Megane has it in for me. I know it!"

My boss gave a slight chuckle at that. "Well, to be fair you kind of remind him of an "old" friend of ours, though they weren't really on the best of terms most times."

"Geez, what did this guy do to him? Kick his puppy or something?"

"It's better if you don't think about it too much, Kitsu-er‚...Aoki. Anyway get back to work."

"Yeah yeah" I proceeded to get back to my job, not really paying much interest into the topic, though in hindsight I should've asked a lot more about the subject but anyway, remember those sights I mentioned earlier? Right around now one such sight entered the shop. A cute blond girl, hair sticking out like rabbit ears, a cute and unassuming girl to anyone's eyes, but I knew better,

"Welcome, oh, good evening Miyake-chan" My boss gave the usual greeting.

"Good evening, Shirai-san, Ken-kun."

"Yo babe, there's a special offer tonight, go on a date with me and you may just take me home with ya to do whatever ya want. Hurry up though, it's limited time only." One of my foolproof pick-up lines accompanied with my own patented "Knock-'Em-Dead" smolder, you may take notes if ya want.

"Seriously Ken-kun..." The blond beauty picked up the register...and slammed it on my head with enough force to shatter concrete! "You always do this every time I come by, and don't think I didn't notice your right hand going for my butt, Kitsune-kun"

"N-not a kitsuneeee‚..." While I recover from this concussion allow me to introduce my girlfriend, Usagi Miyake. Yeah, that's her real name, but she does have a few quirks to her personality, one is that ability to pop outta nowhere at times, hell, even with my honed senses I haven't figured out how she does it. Oh and she's also really strong, hmm‚...I wonder if she trained in the Art as well...

"Mi-Miyake-chan, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't use my register to bludgeon Kitsune" My boss ignored my pain, of course.

"Oh! I'm so sorry, Shirai-san! Oouh! Look what you made me do, Kitsune!" Ok, it was cute at first but...

"For the billionth time: I'M NOT A KITSUNE!"

"Ah right, Miyake-chan, your mom already called and I got your groceries ready, let me get them for you." My boss ignored my outburst. Am I talking to myself here?

"Thank you very much, Shirai-san!" Usagi had answered also ignoring me

"OE! DON'T IGNORE ME!" Really, this happens every week, sometimes I feel they do it on purpose...

"Oh, lighten up Ken-kun! We're just having a little fun at your expense, I think your nickname is actually quite cute."

"Tch! I'm a guy, I do NOT do cute, I do COOL if anything...but I'll forgive you Bunny-chan, if you go on a date with me." All right it's go time, just like Benatar said, love is a battlefield.

"Ken-kun..."

"C'mon! Please?" I don't particularly like to use the puppy-dog eyes but sometimes they work

"Hmm..."

"I promise I'll be good." I pleaded

"None of your usual antics?"

"You shall see no antics whatsoever!" This means, of course, 'Keep your hands to yourself'

"You won't pick any fights?"

"Normally they pick me..." Hey, it's the truth!

"Ken-kun!" Usagi reproached

"Ok ok, I won't pick any fights" As long as Bantarou and his cronies stay off of my back, there won't be any problems

"You won't play any pranks?" Usagi kept pressing, geez, I'm not that bad, am I?

"I won't, I already got even with Megane-sensei today hehehehe."

"I still think you went too far with the laxatives in his tea, tomorrow he's going to try and get back at you, you know?" In my defense, that's what he gets for stealing my bento, whether I was eating in class or not, you do NOT take a guys' inarizushi, you just don't!

"Yeah yeah, so whaddya say?"

"Hmm... Will you flirt or chase any other girls?" Usagi kept going, I swear, I get no respect.

"Umm...define 'flirt'." Ok, so maybe I have a little, teeny, tiny, almost negligible bad habit

"Ken-kun!"

"OK ok ok, you will have my undivided attention, now will you please go out with me?" One more push...

"*giggle* All right, Ken-kun"

"C'mon it's just a little-wait, WHAT?" I honestly did not see that one coming

"I'll go out with you, Ken-kun" One word to sum up all that happened just now: SCORE! Just then the boss finished with Usagi's groceries. Today was going quite well.

"Here's everything your mother ordered, Miyake-chan. KITSUNE!"

"HAI!" I stood to attention, perhaps I spoke to soon‚...

"It's pretty late so walk Miyake-chan back home, ok?" And he ended that sentence with a wink. Go figure, the guy could be pretty cool once in a while.

"HAI! I will be Bunny-chan's bodyguard on the way to her house, SIR!"

"*giggle*" Usagi was really enjoying my whole military schtick. What can I say? Girls love funny guys.

"Just get out of here, Kitsune."

"THANK YOU, SIR. Requesting to be dismissed for the rest of the night!"

"*sigh* Granted, I'll finish up here...like always..."

"Thanks boss" Usagi and I picked up all the stuff and quickly made for the door before the boss changed his mind. As we left I didn't quite catch what he said last...

"Hehehe, ah seeing that kid brings me some good memories back. Makes me wonder what those two are up to these days."

* * *

Usagi and I were enjoying our walk on the way back to her house, just chatting and joking as usual. We were each holding a bag of the groceries that Usagi's mom had ordered, hey it pays to be chivalrous at times.

"Honestly Ken-kun, you're impossible sometimes."

"Oh, c'mon, I'm actually doing that Soban guy a favor, if you clobbered him as you clobber me, I doubt he'd survive." Guy was the leader of the Butsumetsu High gang, ugly with a capital U and had an extreme crush on Usagi, just so ya know.

"That's mean! I'm not that strong." Usagi actually believed that, in her eyes she was just a regular high school student

"Yeah, that's like saying 'water isn't that wet' Bunny-chan" She has been called Hulk-bunny for a REALLY good reason

"Hmph!" Usagi puffed out her cheeks in annoyance and proceeded to stick her tongue out at me.

"Hahahahaha." It was real easy to mess with her sometimes, it almost made me feel bad about it. Almost.

"Hmph, you really should join some of the martial arts clubs in school, we'd be invincible in competitions" And this again, a lot of people had decided that my fighting prowess could be better put to use in martial arts competitions and what not. To me there isn't a point in competing in those anymore, besides I have a bit of a more important job around here.

"Nah, I told you I retired out of that. Besides weren't you on my case about the whole 'invincible' thing?" Oh, there was also that.

"Well, yes. But it'd be better than your street fighting all the time. And besides you could use the training."

"Speaking of which‚..." I sniffed the air, sure enough I picked up a scent I would of rather not have picked up. Right in our way, Bantarou and his cronies: Souta, Natsu, and Minoru, looking for a beating as always. These four losers used to be the toughest students in Tomobiki High, before I showed up of course.

"Well well! What do we have here? Why if it isn't Kitsune? You finally tricked another poor girl into your clutches as I see." Bantarou, their leader started, the guy looked like your regular wannabe delinquent, lots of bark and no bite. They used to be the top dogs in Tomobiki High (which wasn't saying much, the other gangs mopped the floor with this lot), but they picked a fight with me and to make a long story short: they wound up in the nurse's office. Since then they have a bit of a vendetta against me, especially this guy, Bantarou, kind of like Megane in the whole irrational hatred thing.

"Get lost, Bantarou. I'm in a good mood for once and you don't want to ruin it." A fair warning, not that I expect them to listen. I've dealt with his kind thousands of times, but no matter how many times I kick their asses they never learn.

"Kitsune, maybe we should take another route." Usagi suggested, of course if she really got angry, she could annihilate this lot with a well-aimed desk to their faces. Actually...

"Don't worry, Bunny-chan they won't know what hit them..." I gloated, of course this had the desired effect on Bantarou and his gang.

"You bastard. Ever since you showed your despicable face in our fair town, you have been nothing short of a CANCER, a CURSE, and A KITSUNE DEMON! You dare underestimate us, TAKE HIM DOWN!" Bantarou hollered

"YES BOSS!" His cronies approached me armed with bats, pipes and a couple of nun-chucks.

I yawned.

"Ok let's get this over with..."

"Ken-kun! You promised not to get into any fights!" Usagi complained. Crap I knew I had forgotten somethin'

"These guys don't even constitute a fight, it'll be okay. Besides you said I needed some training." I reasoned, these guys are the equivalent to the first level enemies you'd find in a zombie game, you smack 'em down but you'll still see them again

"Ken-kun! That's not what I meant!"

"It's okay, don't worry." I ignored her, but of course it was all according to plan.

Predictable as always Bantarou's men attacked me with everything they had. Souta swung his bat in a downward swing, sidestep to the right, the big lug was as slow as ever, he did have some strength though, nothing to even register a blip on my radar but still. Oh here comes Natsu charging with the lead pipe, a little jump over him and he'll go straight for that garbage bin. And last Minoru, making a few of the cliche nunchuck moves, he was the smallest of the crew. He telegraphed his next attack pretty towards my shins and just in time for Bantarou to try and sneak behind me. I flipped to the side just in time for the upward swing of Minoru's nun-chuck to hit Bantarou straight in the-

* * *

"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

In the distance, a large cat sitting in a kotatsu perked it's ears to the inhuman scream that pierced through the night, a scream that told of horrible pain that no sane man would ever want to suffer.

* * *

"Grrr" Predictably Bantarou got angrier... and squeakier, grabbing the offended *ahem* area. With his voice several octaves higher he yelled another order "Enough playing around, you morons. Get him NOW!" All four of them started to recover and take position when another growl stopped all dead in their tracks

I grinned malevolently.

Usagi started scowling and her face darkened with a decidedly angry expression, she let go of the bag she was carrying, the look of panic in Bantarou's and his underlings' faces was all the confirmation I needed that my plan worked

"Wh-why you...why are all men so...so stubborn...You...you..._YOU!_" Usagi started, blind with rage already.

What happened next would be something of a bizarre occurrence to non-locals. The first time I saw Usagi get angry, it shocked me and caught me by surprise. I wound up in the nurse's office that day, a first in my life, but I digress. She went for the street pole and tore it out of the ground. And like a huge concrete baseball bat she swung all the while yelling her battle cry:

"**MEN BE DAMNED!**"

Just as Bantarou and crew stumbled and tried to get away I jumped over the swing of the makeshift concrete bat avoiding the crippling hit. She of course nailed the four stooges, and sent them into a low orbit flight. Usagi's contribution to the Japanese space program, the first morons in space, hehehehe.

"*huff* *puff* What do you have to say in your defense, Kitsune!" Usagi yelled at me. I gave my biggest smile and merely answered of course.

"I didn't get into any fights. YOU did. All I did was dodge." I merely answered, revealing my evil plan.

Usagi blinked as she let go of the street pole she was holding out of shock. And started trying to make sense of what just happened.

"Huh! But I-but you-but they...Ouh! You tricked me!"

"Maybe, but I kept my promise, didn't I?"

"Hmph!" Usagi puffed her cheeks out in that cute manner of hers, then she smirked and giggled again. "This is EXACTLY why we call you Kitsune."

"I'm not a kitsune!" I replied, it was starting to seem like a catchphrase or something by this point.

* * *

And with that we made our way back to her house. Her mom was predictably waiting for her.

"Usagi-chan! Where were you! I was worried sick." Usagi's mom asked. And then she noticed me.

"Ah Aoki-san!" Shinobu Miyake, Usagi's mom, she's a very normal housewife. She's married to some guy called Inaba who I've met rare times, she tells me he's away at work most of the time. She's pretty normal in most senses, though she did slam the kitchen table on my head when I slipped hot sauce on her husbands rice bowl that one time, so I figure Usagi got her strength from her mom.

"Good evening, Miyake-san. Just helping, Bunny-chan carry your stuff back here. We kind of had a little distraction along the way" And on cue Usagi blushed in embarrassment.

"You two didn't get into any fights, did you?" The Miyake matriarch asked of the both of us. Usagi was beet-red while I merely chuckled.

"Well I didn't get into any fights. Hahahaha-OOF!" I was nudged painfully by Usagi's elbow to quit the all-too-suspicious laugh

"Anyway, get back inside Usagi-chan. And thank you for helping with the groceries Aoki-san."

"No problem. Hey Usagi, don't forget our date ok?"

"K-Kitsune!" Hehe, I didn't think Usagi's face could get any redder but I guess I was wrong. Meanwhile Miyake was giving an amused look to the both of us.

"Saturday at noon, at the park, ok?" I gave Usagi a playful reminder, she looked so cute when she got embarrassed.

"Geez, I'll be there, now get outta here already. You're embarrassing me!" Told ya so

"Heheheh ok ok, I'm going. Have good night, Bunny-chan, Mrs Miyake" I made my way out of there, heard them talk a bit as I was leaving but I didn't catch much of what they said...

* * *

"*giggle*" Shinobu Miyake laughed at the little exchange, as she saw the young pony-tailed boy walk away.

"Huh? What's so funny, mom?" Usagi asked her mother.

"Oh? It's just that you're finally dating Aoki-san. I figured you would."

"Mom!"

"I'm sorry Usagi-chan, it's just he just reminds me of the first boy I used to date." Shinobu had quite a nostalgic look as her mind went down memory lane.

"Huh, really? Was he a troublemaker like Kitsune *giggle*"

"Oh no no, nothing like that, he was nothing like Aoki-san‚...

Ataru was much worse." She said, donning a smile while she remembered days past, whilst her daughter looked at her confused.

* * *

As I made my way back to the student club building I lived in, my mind wandered and fantasized about the date with Usagi. But of course, today was Butsumetsu...

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAHA!**" And bad luck struck again.

"GYARGH!" Suddenly I was faced by the most horrible visage: a face so utterly ugly it shouldn't belong to a human, but no this CREATURE was human. Something akin to a monster, no one wanted him near, every time he showed his horrible wrinkled out face it only caused trouble, he was of course:

"DAMMIT CHERRY! I DO NOT NEED TO SEE YOU'RE UGLY LITTLE MUNCHKIN FACE TODAY, OR EVER FOR THAT MATTER" I yelled at the shrunken monk whose horrid mug would definitely give me nightmares tonight.

"Your face...it's extremely horrible!"

"..." Oh no HE DIDN'T!

* * *

One short beating later...

"I don't want to hear that from outta YOU, you subhuman freak!" I yelled, seriously, has he ever looked in a mirror! On second thought, if I was the vertically challenged monk I'd avoid reflective surfaces as well.

"*kaff* *kaff* I mean that there is a very ominous sign on your face, **Kenichi Aoki**"

"Guh!" How did he figure out my FULL, REAL name? I hate this guy! So creepy...

"I warn you Kenichi Aoki, you must not take this route, otherwise you will suffer great misfortune. I can see it in the stars!"

"Ah shaddup! I don't care what you say, the only misfortune I suffered today was seeing your horrible face. And besides, this is the quickest way back to my apartment so shut it!" I decided to ignore the deranged monk and made my way leaving him behind.

* * *

Cherry looked in deep contemplation to the retreating figure of the young man he had warned.

"There is an old saying in this our world, young one. If you choose not to learn from the past, you will surely be cursed to repeat it."

The old monk picked himself up and continued to make his nightly rounds

* * *

Well that certainly ruined my evening. Stupid no-good monk, and his stupid no-good predictions, as if he could see any predictions in the stars‚...Huh!

As I raised my head towards the stars I saw an odd blinking star, it looked like a falling star with a really weird trajectory, and it's headed towards me?

Is that...no way...is that a **UFO?**

I knew today was gonna suck

* * *

To be continued


	2. Emi,The Notorious

All characters belong to their respective owners, the original Urusei Yatsura belongs to Rumiko Takahashi.

Enjoy if you will

Chapter 2 "Emi the Notorious".

* * *

"STUPID CHERRY! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" I screamed as I ran as fast as I could.

I'm a fighter, not a runner! I'm used to standing and fighting not fleeing and right now, but seriously how do you fight a UFO? I was running away from a huge UFO with a tractor beam aimed at ME! I was running as fast as I could, jumping over trashcans, turning around buildings, sliding over parked and not-so-parked cars. I'm seriously considering taking up Parkour after this. But I'll consider that later, right now THERE'S A FREAKING UFO AFTER ME!

As I turned around another corner, I decided to hide into an alley. I peeked out of the corner to see exactly what was chasing me. It was a spaceship looked somewhat like a saucer, seemed to be covered in some dark blue material that made it all the more difficult to see it at night, other from the multitude of lights underneath it and the big tractor beam sucking everything in it's path. However it seemed to be looking for me. But WHY ME! I ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH TROUBLE LAYING LOW AROUND HERE! The last thing I need are freaking aliens looking to dissect me!

The UFO seemed to hover around the area looking for something (probably me). After a few moments it shut off the tractor beam and seemed to disappear out of sight. I walked out of the alley. Good, it seems they left. Wait, what is that humming sound?

The UFO suddenly reappeared out of the night sky. Right over my head, I tried to get away but I was suddenly floating through the air, suddenly I was sucked into the spacecraft.

Inside it was pitch black only one light illuminated the room, UFO or wherever I was, I stood to position. Ready to attack. My instincts as a martial artist‚...a former martial artist stood to attention. If they wanted me so bad, there's no way I was going without a fight.

"C'mon! Show yourselves! I ain't afraid of you extraterrestrial creeps!"

Suddenly, from the floor, gas sprayed, it was too sudden to do anything. I felt my body going limp, my vision going blurry and as I hit the floor‚...

Everything went black.

* * *

A dull night, or at least dull so far. I've been scanning over 20 different sectors but nothing. I've been sitting on my new TIGER MARK 5 space cruiser, actually I sneaked out of home for a little adventure. Hopefully Daddy, won't find out before I get back home. He's so overprotective sometimes, he has to understand I'm already 16. Sometimes a girl has to go out and see the universe a little, you know? Though this sector is kind of familiar (or at least I think it looks familiar), wonder where I am?

Oh! So sorry, I forgot to introduce myself: My name's **Emi Moroboshi**, princess to the Oni. I'm over there, the 16 year-old with the green hair sitting and bored to tears. I use some tiger print bikini bottoms, jacket and tanktop, and a couple of cute sneakers. I like to run, and I'll admit, I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic. I'm really outgoing and friendly, but sort of unlucky when it comes to men, my dad always scares off any potential boyfriends. I do have a thirst for excitement and adventure, but my parents keep me a little too guarded (actually it's mostly my dad) but yeah, I'm a bit of thrill seeker you betcha!

"Nu-chan, display current location." I called

"Current location:

Galactic coordinates: A.H.O

Outer orbit from planet 3 from the Sol system

Planet commonly known as Earth.

Recognized by the Oni galactic federation" Nu gave in his best, no-nonsense tone

Nu is my pocket-computer AI assistant, mom insisted I always had him with me in case of emergencies, he's pretty trustworthy and reliable. His overall appearance was somewhat of a tiger stripped ball with a digital display for eyes, rather small and cat-like, he could float around me without getting in my way.

"Earth, huh?" I've heard of this planet before, only this was my first time seeing it in person, but I didn't come all the way out here to sight see.

"Nu-chan, scan for other spacecrafts around this area."

"Scanning‚...scanning..scan finished

Located 2753 satellites and other miscellaneous space junk

1 class 2 orbital station

1 unidentified class 8 selachimorph space cruiser

Identifying‚...

Warning! Selachimorph space cruiser identified as pirate cruiser wanted by the Oni galactic federation"

"Space pirates, Gotcha!" I yelled excited, perhaps there was hope for tonight after all

"incoming call, Moroboshi-hime. It's from Ten. Will you accept it?" Spoke too soon...

"*groan* Darn it! I thought he was on patrol right now. *sigh* Patch him through" If I keep him waiting, he'll probably tattle to my dad, not that I could care what my stubborn father would say...

"Transferring call..." And instantly on my UFO's main display came the face of a man in his mid-twenties, wearing a tiger-stripped uniform with a black t-shirt underneath. A short mop of green hair and a single horn covered his head.

"Emi-chan! Where the hell have you been! You've got us all worried sick!" Ten yelled

"Hi cousin Ten‚..." I said , not too enthusiastic to the idea of getting nagged, again. My cousin Ten of the Fire breathing Oni Clan, he's been an active patroller pilot for the Invader force under daddy's command for quite some time now. A real stickler for rules and real strict on them. Though daddy says he was a real brat when he was a little kid, figures with the irony of it all.

"I just went for a little ride around in my new cruiser. I'm sure you can just ignore I was ever here, riiiiight?" I gave my sweetest smile, hopefully he'll cut me some slack.

"Nice try, Emi-chan." Darn it! It never works with him. "I can't get a read on your position" Of course you can't, I installed a stealth mode on my cruiser, but then how-? "It's a good thing I got hold of your comm. signal. "Now to track down where you are."

"Oops sorry Ten-san *kssh* you're breaking up *kshh*" I started making interference sounds and shaking the screen, hopefully my cousin will forgive me for this…someday.

"Huh? No, wait! Don't you dare-"

"I *kshhh* can't*kshhh* sorr-*kshh* Te*kshhk*" One flick of a button and...Bye bye cousin.

"Comm signal disabled. I strongly advise against disabling the comm signal, in the event of an emergency it would be used to safely track you down."

"You worry too much, Nu-chan"

"I worry just enough, Moroboshi-hime."

"Yeah, same thing I hear from like nearly everyone I know, Daddy, cousin Ten, Granpa, well I've had it!" I huffed into my way over to my bed. It was always the same thing, 'you should do all your homework, you're not allowed to leave the orbit after sun down, you shouldn't sleep in class,you must listen to what I say young lady' always the same old tune, and daddy's always the worst offender, geez, can anybody be such a stick in the mud?

"Did you know daddy won't let me be the champion for the Oni tag races. Our clan has been the champion for these races for centuries, but I'm not allowed to participate! It's so unfair!"

"Lord Ataru Moroboshi insists that it is in your best interest"

"Mommy thinks I should be the Oni champion. She's the only one who gets me..." I pouted, depressedly.

"Moroboshi-hime, your father loves you and only wants what's best for you"

"I know, I know, but I'm not a little girl anymore. And it's time to prove it!" I exclaimed, no time to feel sorry for myself!

"Moroboshi-hime, I understand that but what exactly are you planning to do here with those pirates nearby?" Nu asked

"Well, isn't it obvious? You know about the reports of their activity, right?"

"About the pirates kidnapping various individuals throughout the galaxy? Yes, I'm awa-wait, you don't mean you'll-"

"You betcha! We're going on a rescue mission!" I cheered, Auntie Benten woulda been proud

"Oh dear"

* * *

In the vast blackness of space, one could see Earth quite clearly. On distant orbit of the planet, a gigantic space craft. Inside the command room a creature that stood, a creature with pale grey skin, a mouth full of serrated teeth and a scar going by his left eye. This being is the captain of the Space pirates, a selachian feared by many in the entire galaxy, who was currently watching over a window from his quarters, he watched this lesser known planet called Earth. Suddenly the doors opened to his quarters opened, another selachian entered the room this one decidedly female and younger than the captain, uniformed in a way she was obviously the second in command of the ship, she entered the room and saluted to the older selachian in the room.

"Captain" The female answered as she saluted.

"At ease, have the scouts returned?"

"Yes sir. They brought one earth human with them to study, the scout reports that there was another seemingly more talented human but they could only capture the one in the timeframe they were given. The human had attempted to flee the scouts and too much time was wasted retrieving him"

"Hrmmmrm." The older shark-like creature grunted then he turned to the uniformed female "Do they have at least reports on the studied subjects."

"Yes" The female proceeded to produce a small device that looked not unlike a cell phone and after entering a couple of commands a couple of images displayed holographically. One image had a teenage blond girl, her hair had a shoulder length cut, however around the top of her head it stood oddly, giving the illusion of bunny ears, a friendly smile adorned her face as her brown eyes shone with sincerity. The other image was another teenager, of about 16 years of age, but this one male. He had sharp features and a scowl in his face, messy jet black hair, tied in a long ponytail, but his defining feature were his golden eyes that gave a certain world-weary look to them. The uniformed shark like lady continued with her report. "We were only able to retrieve the male human, the one who-." As she pressed a button on her device a video started playing, giving an aerial view of the fight that Usagi and Ken had just been in that night. "-demonstrated agility and skill surpassing the average, though we didn't get a chance to fully study his abilities, our estimates show he barely used 2% of his full potential, maybe even less, however this is just an estimate, since we have yet to see his full potential in action."

"Hrmrm, I see, and what of the girl?"

"Her..." Pressing another button the video fast-forwarded to the climax of the battle. "…abilities where far superior than we had predicted and after showing incredible strength she was set to be targeted as well. However in order to maintain stealth and not alert the intergalactic authorities we had to move fast. The scouts picked to abduct the male since he was traveling a solitary area thus ensuring as little witnesses as possible, unfortunately we did not predict his tenacity and wasted too much time in capturing him."

"Don't underestimate the boy, lieutenant. The girl might be extremely strong but she lacks skill, the boy is different. I can see it in his eyes, he's a seasoned warrior. He'll be a valuable recruit soon enough. We'll just have to see what he's truly capable of."

"Understood, sir. The human is unconscious in one of ship's cells."

"Very well, you may leave..."

The Lieutenant made her leave. The captain turned to watch the Earth and contemplate some more.

"Earth...this primitive planet must hold some more talented creatures, after all, they were the only ones who managed to defeat the Oni all those years ago."

* * *

I was finally waking up, the first thing I saw was blackness‚...oh no, th-those bastards! They blinded me! Damn them! Now I'll never get to enjoy of the girls in summer again, wearing diminutive bikinis, showing their supple skin, their toned and firm figures, their luscious br-‚...oh wait, nevermind, I was facing the floor.

"*Groan* Sleeping gas, really! Of all the cheap tactics..." I said to no one in particular since I was all alone. As I got back on my feet, I quickly inspected the room I was in. It looked like something out of a sci-fi movie, everything here had a very sleek, space age like design, but somehow it still felt like a cell. There was only one door (or what looked like one with a small window that faced the hallway) and too one side there was another massive window, but I couldn't break through that one, I'm tough but I doubt I'd survive the vacuum of space, it did have a cool view of Earth.

"Huh, guess I really got abducted by aliens. Well, better get outta here before they decide I'd look good with an alien probe on me" You may be wondering why I was so calm about my situation, well the answer is rather easy: Every time I've been in a fight, I've never lost, EVER. So it was all a matter of finding these aliens, kick their grey asses and make 'em take me back home, simple and easy.

But right around, that moment is when I met...her.

* * *

One of the scout ships was docking in the ships landing bay. That was my cue to sneak inside, thanks to the stealth mode on my cruiser, they wouldn't be able to detect me ship or see it for that matter. The stealth mode rendered my ship invisible to radars, scanners and to the naked eye fortunately. All I had to do was release the captives they had here, get them to my ship and get out, easy. As my cruiser landed I waited a few moments for the guards to move out as the docking bay sealed. Once sealed they left landing area. I exited my cruiser which had remained undetected with Nu-chan following close by.

"Moroboshi-hime, please reconsider this course of action. We should be contacting the proper authorities, not risking our lives like this"

"Relax, Nu-chan. We'll only free everyone they kidnapped and get outta here, it'll be a cinch!"

"But Moroboshi-hime, I really th-, WARNING: SENSORS INDICATE ARMED INDIVIDUALS CLOSING IN ON OUR POSITION. SUGGESTING EVASIVE MANUEVERS TO AVOID DETECTION"

"Huh?" I asked, taken by surprise by the sudden monotone-yet-urgent message from my companion.

"HIDE!"

"Oh!" I looked around for a good place to hide, and fortunately my eyes caught a ventilation system grille, over 3 stories above us.

Too easy.

I flew up and started releasing the grill in the vent, as it opened I jumped inside the vent and motioned for Nu-chan to follow. As soon as he did, I closed the grill back up with some well-aimed zaps, and made our way inside their mother ship. We navigated the maze with expertise when finally we reached our destination.

"Moroboshi-hime, my sensors indicate we have reached the containment cells however-"

"Excellent!" I proceeded to open the vent to the cell area... only to find it was huge!

"S-so many…" I exclaimed, I was faced with rows upon rows of cells, too many for me too count at a single glance.

"That was what I was going to say: the containment area consists apparently of over 300 occupied cells"

"T-three hundred?" I gasped, I didn't expect they've had so many kidnapped. "W-well no other way around it, let's start releasing them."

"*Groan* Sleeping gas, really! Of all the cheap tactics‚..." I heard a male voice coming from one of the cells

I moved over to it, inside I saw a young man, hardly older than me, apparently just waking up. He didn't look any different from us Oni, except instead of the normal iridiscent green hair, he had a messy mop of messy, jet black hair tied in a ponytail and no horns. Actually all of his clothes were rather worn and ragged, he must've put up quite a fight...also, he was rather cute.

"...od with an alien probe on me." The stranger said looking at the window, and then he turned and saw me. His first reaction looked instinctual as he took what I guess was a fighting stance.

"Hey, get me outta here!" He ordered.

"Okay!" I complied, I was going to release him anyway.

"I'm warning yo-HUH?" He all but sputtered, then he moved in closer to the window in his cell door as I started hacking the release system. "You're gonna let me go, just like that?"

"You betcha!" I was just about finishing rewiring the door to release the lock.

"I don't get it" The stranger, who had an odd feral flair to him commented. "Why go through the trouble of abducting me in the first place then?"

"*giggle* I didn't abduct you" One final touch and BINGO! "I'm here to rescue you!" The door released and the boy stumbled and fell in front of me, I floated out of the way to avoid getting hit. The stranger looked dazed as he laid on the floor after that hit. Huh, guess his species can't fly like ours. Now that I got a good look at him I realized he was an Earth human...

Just like daddy.

* * *

As I tried to shake off my daze from that fall, it was here the first time I got a good look at my savior, she had a pretty cute face from behind the cell window, pretty attractive, though the green hair and horns pretty much told she wasn't human, the mismatched blue/brown eyes added to her cuteness, but now I got a good look at her...

And let me tell you, she is smoking HOT!

Wearing little over a tiger-stripped bikini bottom, a tiger-stripped tank top, and a tiger-stripped jacket and sneakers of the same pattern, her outfit left little to the imagination. Her breasts were a solid D-cup, nice and firm (just how I like 'em!), barely contained underneath that tank top, and a nice and gropeable behind that begged to be goosed, in other words: HOT. She was slim and had slight muscle tone, and right now she was giving me one really good view of her cleavage as she was checking on me. Man, I'd love to check HER sometime.

"Are you all right?" The hot space babe asked, hey so maybe I was getting abducted by another alien, but given the new abductor, who the hell am I to complain! I immediately regained my composure. Time to turn on the charm.

"Never better, babe" I said putting my smoulder to full power "But I really want to thank you personally if I could, for rescuing me" I leaned in for a kiss but she dodged and I fell flat on the floor...again, my face was getting really acquainted with this place's floors.

"You can do that later" she said pointing to the other rooms in this place "But first we gotta save the two hundred and ninety nine other abductees in this ship"

"Oh ok I understa-WHAT?" I jumped to my feet, as what she just said finally hit me, wait, did that last 'WHAT!' had an echo or something? I turned my head and saw something that looked like a round, metal, toy robot-cat behind me. "GYAH! What is this thing! A toy!"

"How rude! You mean to say you didn't notice me before?"

"Not really..." When there's a hot babe in the room, all other details are unimportant.

"I am Moroboshi-hime's personal assistant, my name is Nu. But besides that‚..." The cat like robot-thing floated past me and faced the green haired beauty " Moroboshi-hime, we cannot carry 300 abductees in our cruiser. If anything we should leave as soon as possible and inform the proper authorities, namely your father."

"But if we leave, these pirates will hide before daddy's forces can find them!" The alien hottie started complaining to the robot-cat toy.

"Hey, maybe getting out of here isn't such a bad idea? I mean maybe later we can take a walk in the park or catch a movie, whaddya say? We can just ask your dad for help with these goons." I gave my opinion hoping that it would get us as far from these kidnapping aliens as possible and as close to getting some loving from this alien beauty in front of me.

"NO! I refuse to ask for help!" The horned alien girl declared with finality. But then she perked up as she thought of something. "Let's get back to the ship!" She said beaming a smile.

"All right! Let's ditch this flying saucer!" I could only cheer the decision

"Yes, I believe that is the wisest choice, Moroboshi-hime" The cat-ball-thingy also agreed

But just then, a couple of what looked like guards turned around a corner and spotted us. They were covered head to toe in an armor that looked more at home in one of my first-person shooter games, covered with an alien looking helmet with a shark fin on top. They pointed and started spouting something in a language I couldn't quite identify.

"%&^%*! ‚Ñ¶‚ò†‚ò¢‚ò£‚úÇ‚ô§!"

"Oh no, we've been spotted!" The floating robocat pointed the obvious.

"Tell me something I don't know." was my answer as I took an attack stance.

"Whatcha doing? You don't know what they're capable of!" Came the predictable warning from the alien cutie.

"Well, they don't know what I am capable of either." Time to impress her with some of my kung fu moves.

The guards took out something that looked like light sabers. "Watch out! Those are laser blades..." Eh, pretty close "...they can cut through most heavy armors!"

"Whoa, really?" The guards charged at me, the one in front was about to try a downward swing, this time though, instead of dodging I leaned in close and with my left hand I stopped his swing while I used my right to deliver a bone crushing blow to his midsection, a little cushioned thanks to the weird armor he was wearing, but I'm sure he felt it. I followed with a back flip double kick which tagged the guard's helmet off and knocked his weapon out of his hand, and as I regained my stance, into mine. I got a good look at what I was fighting, overall it looked like human, but his face was a mix of that of a human and a sharks. "Cool! Mind if I keep this little toy here?" I said grabbing a hold of the alien weapon as it landed. The other guard moved to my side and attempted a stabbing strike. Whoa, déjà vu. I jumped over him, kicking him in the back of his helmet and slamming him towards the wall, leaving a guard-sized imprint on the wall and also dropping his weapon as it fizzled and powered down in the floor, the first guard snarled and tried to grab me and bite, but a quick and powerful elbow strike knocked some of his teeth out.

"Incredible! A selachian's teeth are extremely powerful and hard, to knock their teeth out with a single hit! You- you're not a regular human, are you?"

I merely smirked.

"All right, time to end this..." As the other guard recovered, I focused my senses, I dropped the blade as it joined it's partner in the floor and deactivated. From the air around me an ethereal white flame formed...then another and another...until nine will o' wisps or _**foxfire**_ surrounded me, a couple of these enveloped my fists, my Chi manifested as these flames, in a way even the naked eye could see them. The guards took a couple of wary steps back, not that it would help them.

"Special technique of the Kitsune ken! **METEOR STORM!**" My fists blurred, to the normal eye it looked that instead of two fists, mine turned to a hundred, all striking at my opponents at blinding speed. It was a variation of a technique I learned by watching a colleague in the Art, he also did a pretty nifty trick involving cold water too, but he told me it was better if I never learned that one.

Multiple blows landed on the two, sending them flying to the far end of the hall, unconscious. I turned to my companions, predictably the cat-things eyes blinked a couple of times, I half-expected him to go Blue screen of death on me. The buxom alien, well, her jaw threatened to hit the floor.

"I-I did not know earth humans were capable of this…" The floating cat-thing, shell shocked, declared.

"That…was…SO COOL!" The alien girl applauded, I merely passed my hand through my hair in a cool manner.

"Hey, it was the least I could do for my cute little rescuer" I flashed a winning smile and I instantly saw the girls cheeks redden with a blush. Hook, line and sinker! I would've stayed to continue wooing her after that cute little reaction, but those guards weren't gonna stay KO'ed for long. "Let's get outta here before they wake up, ok?"

"Huh! Oh OH, right right, you betcha! Heheheh" She giggled nervously as I silently repeated her 'betcha', maybe she was having some trouble speaking my language… "heheheh, um *cough* right this way." She pointed to a ventilation duct and jumped to it, I should state the vent was about three stories high, and the way she jumped, it almost seemed like she flew all the way up there. I merely shrugged and after picking up both alien weapons (I did want a souvenir and weapons suited me in a way), I bounced of a wall to reach the vent, barely, guess she was a better jumper than I was.

* * *

After a short while of traveling through the ventilation ducts, we finally returned to her UFO. I couldn't get a good look at the outside and actually bumped with it trying to find it, at least until the Oni babe pressed some buttons on a small device she had hidden in her cleavage. I was starting to envy that device a little.

The inside had all the high-tech sci-fi look of an UFO, except it also resembled somewhat to a girl's room, bed, plushies, posters and everything. She was typing something away at a console on the far end of the UFO, so I decided to take it easy for a while and laid down on the bed, the cat-thing Nu kept watch over the entrance of the spaceship.

"Not bad, not bad. I'd like to get rescued like this often." I said to my overtly sexy savior. She giggled in good spirit.

"*giggle* Hopefully I won't have to rescue you THAT often. You seem pretty capable of defending yourself. By the way, you never told me your name."

I stood back up, walked over to the green-haired babe in front of me took her hand and in an elegant manner, and kissed it, all the while introducing myself (once again I remind you, you may take notes)

"Name's Ken Aoki, it's a pleasure to meet you miss...?"

"Emi Moroboshi..." Cute name I thought "...just call me Emi, Nice to meetcha" She said, a slight blush on her face

"...'meetcha'?" I silently repeated and chuckled a bit afterwards, so she had a little verbal tick, no big deal, it only added to her cuteness.

"So are ya gonna fly me to the moon, let me play among the stars? Or are we gonna see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars? Heheheh" A cheesy line, but a lot o' women loved these. However this one did not have any effect on Emi, she kept focused on her task just giving me a dismissive 'uh huh'. I decided to lay back down on the bed, minding my own business, no need to rush.

Emi kept typing at the console for a while now, she looked real concentrated on her work. When she finished she looked at her handiwork (which was a bunch of alien gibberish for me) and smiled. She then walked past me over to the entrance of her UFO, passing by that robo-kitty as well and leaving.

"Oe! Emi! Where're you goin'?" I asked, something in my gut told me I wasn't going to like what was going to happen next.

"Moroboshi-hime, I second that query." Apparently I wasn't the only one.

"Nu-chan, I'm going to enable the comm Signal on my Oniberry. You can trace it right?" She said as she showed a real sophisticated, palm-sized device, the same that was hiding in her bra.

"Of course, Moroboshi-hime but what does that have to do with-?" Before the mechanical feline finished the sentence, the door suddenly slammed shut, leaving me trapped inside with the robotic, floating, spherical feline.

"What the fu-?" I ran to the door and tried to pry it open, but stopped when I heard Emi talk through the ship's PA system.

"Look, I refuse to ask for daddy's help, but you can ask for his help, Ken."

"WHAT?" Me and the digital Garfield yelled/asked at the same time.

"Nu-chan, follow ALL of Ken's orders. Ken, I'm counting on you…" Emi pressed the same device I saw before taking out of her cleavage and suddenly the whole spaceship rocked. It started moving!

"Ken, Nu-chan, look for my mom and dad, ok?" As she said this her voice was starting break away into static.

"Their names are Ataru and Lum!"

The spaceship blasted through the docking bay doors and sped off into space, at blinding speed. Emi immediately headed towards the vents again in order to hide. She looked back to where her ship, her old computerized companion and her new friend had been.

"Good luck, guys." She said as she made for deeper inside the ship.

* * *

"**ALERT ALERT ALERT**"

The PA system inside the pirate ship flared to life the moment a UFO, in all senses of the word, burst out of their ship. The captain of the vessel commanded in a powerful voice.

"What is going on here!" He snarled, as he tapped a button on a nearby console in his quarters "Lieutenant, report!"

A screen flickered to life in front of the Shark-like alien showing the face of his second in command, looking nervous herself. "Sir, I don't know quite how to explain this but an Oni personal Cruiser just smashed through the docking bay area."

"Intruders!" The captain snarled " Deal with them immediately, you hear me!"

"Umm Captain, allow me to rephrase that…" The lieutenant took a deep breath as she followed "An Oni cruiser just smashed **out of the docking bay area,** not into."

The Captain looked understandably confused for a moment as he digested the info he was given. But before he could ask further, another screen flickered to life on the command console, this one showing two shark aliens, visibly beaten up.

"C-captain, we regret to inform that the Earth human escaped."

"WHAT?" The captain hollered, causing the already beat up guards to flinch

"Sir, we saw an Oni girl with the Earth male."

"So? Your armor should have handled any of her powers easily..." The captain argued

"Captain, the girl didn't beat us up. It was the boy!"

The captain just watched, at a loss of words to what he just heard, he couldn't make heads or tails of this situation so of course it was clear what he demanded next.

"Give me an explanation"

"Sir, when we saw the boy out of the cell, we charged to capture him and get him away from the Oni girl, but he managed to **punch through the armor**, and kick my helmet off!" said one of the guards, who sported a bleeding nose, a black eye, and was missing some teeth.

"Yeah, and then when I tried to flank him, he just jumped over me and kicked me into the reinforced, **super metal wall! **And when Tim here tried to bite him, he elbowed him in the mouth and knocked some of his teeth off!" The other guard said, who was sporting a few bandages in his person and puffed out cheeks.

"And then he did some weird trick, some kind of super power, and punched us both over a million times. And he took our weapons!"

"**IT WAS HORRIBLE!**" Both guards screamed in unison. The captain was flabbergasted, who could've predicted the boy who was seemingly just quick and nimble was actually a fearsome warrior who could bring foes to their knees. Now he really regretted his escape.

"BLAST IT ALL!" The Captain snarled, in that moment his lieutenant cleared her throat, calling his attention.

"The young man may be gone, however we have bigger concerns right now." The lieutenant continued

"What now?" The captain was visibly reaching his patience's limit

"The Cruiser that just escaped, belongs to the princess of Oniboshi, the daughter of Warlord Ataru Moroboshi." The lieutenant said with a serious tone in her voice. The captain suddenly blanched, as feared as their crew and their forces were, they couldn't stand a chance against the might of the Oni army. It was even rumoured that Ataru Moroboshi was an invincible creature who could resist any and all attacks without receiving any injury.

"We must escape this quadrant…" The captain said, as the consequences sunk in "We must escape this sector right away!"

"Yes sir." The lieutenant saluted as the screens flickered off.

The huge mother ship shimmered and zoomed of in a beam of light, warping to another place in the universe.

To Be Continued


	3. Far, Far, Far Away from Home

Chapter 3 "Far, far, far away from home"

* * *

All characters belong to their respective owners, the original Urusei Yatsura belongs to Rumiko Takahashi.

In this chapter I decided to go with a third person narrator, I will probably continue with the first person narrations in future chapters

Enjoy

* * *

"That bastard!" An older bespectacled man in his 40s yelled. "He's a delinquent, a social pariah who rebels against the pre-established rules that enables a society to live peacefully! A renegade who would willingly invite chaos and destruction in order to destabilize the fragile balance of school-life! In brevity, I tell you my fellow colleagues: HE"S A MENACE!" the man yelled while addressing his colleagues, all eating by a lonely ramen stand on the streets of Tomobiki.

This man's given name was Satoshi, but to the students in Tomobiki High, his colleagues and nearly all of his acquaintances he was known as Megane, a nickname given to him due to his memorable glases. He is a social studies and Japanese history teacher, still single and quite disliked by all his students. But one of his students has earned his complete hatred, and only because he evoked a memory of a person who had earned all of his hatred in the past and robbed him of the little happiness his life had. 3 other teachers were accompanying him from Tomobiki High, who were also his friends since they were in high school. They were known as well by their nicknames: Perm, Kakugari, and Chibi.

Perm, who had always been the voice of reason in their small circle of friends and had become a modern Japanese teacher, was the one who spoke next. "Megane, aren't you over-reacting? It was only a harmless little prank."

"H-harmless! I was stuck in the bathroom for 5 HOURS Perm! And I know it was him! Only a complete monster, a demon, would commit such an unforgivable attack to my person!" The bespectacled teacher countered.

"Lay off the kid, Megane" Kakugari, the biggest and considered the muscle of the group, had become Tomobiki High's P.E. teacher. "You know that ever since he showed up, the school's gang problems disappeared. He may be a delinquent, but he's our delinquent. He's the only one who can protect the school and scare off all the other gangs from the other schools. Remember when that gang from the Taian Vo-tech tried to challenge Kitsune? The nurse thought they were run over by a steam roller, not beaten up by one, lone kid. HAHAHAHAHA" Kakugari heartily laughed as he downed a swig of beer. "Hell, if I could get him to join any of the martial arts clubs, we'd be unstoppable."

"You should be ashamed of yourself! You're actually ENCOURAGING his deviant behaviour? No, his kind must not be allowed to exist, they should be eradicated like the cockroaches that they are!"

"But Megane…" Last came the shortest of the group, aptly nicknamed Chibi, who was often seen with his best friend Kakugari. These days he was the school's science teacher. "…You're almost acting like we were talking about Ataru-GULP!" Too late did he realize his error, as he covered his mouth. Dead silence reigned in the small ramen cart, Kakugari and Perm looking expectantly to their side, awaiting for the reaction from Megane, even the cart's owner seemed nervous.

"How dare you…" He started low, his glasses shinning with an eerie, almost demonic glow, behind the lenses a look of pure hatred shone. "How dare you utter the name of HE-WHO-SHALL-NOT-BE-NAMED! T-That bastard! I'LL NEVER FORGIVE HIM FOR WHAT HE DID!"

"Umm…" Megane stopped mid-rant and slowly turned to face the new speaker. It was the ramen cook. "I hope you don't mind me asking but, what did this guy do to you?"

"Hehehe…" Lowly Megane started chuckling, then it slowly escalated in intensity ". *Inhale* **HA! **" Megane all but spat at the cook's face, visibly scared. Then Megane sat down and regained a semblance of composure. "Over 20 years ago, that was when I saw her for the first time on television. A girl, with beautiful green hair, sparkling blue eyes, a beautiful body and a pure and innocent personality…however she had fallen in love with the most FOUL, DEBASED, EVIL, WICKED, PERVERTED MORON in the face of the Universe!" Megane started foaming at the mouth, but quickly changed back to normal. "*AHEM* As I was saying, this…" Megane cringed at envisioning the person he was speaking of "_individual…_ For years had ignored the girl's advances and love, instead he chose to chase other girls, all the while avoiding the one who loved him unconditionally. However their…" Megane cringed once more " _love_ stood test after test, and finally the worst thing that could ever happened occurred…" Megane took a deep breath and with all the sorrow, anger and hatred in his soul he yelled: "THAT BASTARD ATARU FINALLY MARRIED LUM-SAN! To think that even now she's being tortured by that foul cancer of our town, that inhuman cockroach, to be forced to bear HIS children, it makes want to…makes me want to…" Megane then turned and ran into the street, climbing a lamp post and ripping off his shirt and yelling into the night sky. "**LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM-SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!**"

The ramen cook could only stare at the absurdity of it all, he then turned to the other teachers who were quietly eating their meals.

"He…he's kind of obsessed, isn't he"

"A little, just a little." The trio answered simultaneously, not really taking much interest in his colleague's anxiety attack and continued eating.

"Ummm….excuse me…" A new, childlike voice broke the silence.

The teachers and the cook all turned to the new speaker only to find a small diminutive white fox wearing a red bib around it's neck wave to the older men.

"Hi" The little fox merely said. Upon seeing him in closer inspection, the three teachers recognized the little animal.

"Guys, isn't this…"

"Yeah, it's gotta be…"

"…Kitsune"

The little fox smiled. "Yeah, it's me!" The pure hearted fox. A tiny, wild fox who they have also meet in their younger years, though he was far more acquainted with Shinobu, the former Stormtroopers had taken a shine to his kind heart. Though the Stormtroopers had aged, the little kitsune remained mostly unchanged by the march of time, they only noticed the change in his fur color from light brown to snow white.

"…Though these days I have a name…" The little fox embarrassedly scratched the back of his head.

"Hey, that's right." Perm realized. "We never really bothered to ask your name all that time ago. Oh man, we're really sorry!"

"Huh?" The little fox tilted his head cutely. "Oh, back then I didn't have a name. So it's ok. But now that I'm a Myobu, I was given a name by Inari-sama."

"Ah. Congratulations Kitsune!" Kakugari cheered, embarrassing the little fox. "Oh wait, I guess we shouldn't call you Kitsune anymore, especially since someone else got that name." Kakugari mentioned to no one in particular.

"What's your name, then?" Chibi finally asked. The little fox puffed out his chest and answered. "You can call me Hikaru."

"That's a good name." Chibi said, while the other teachers merely nodded and agreed. The ramen cook decided not to think too hard about the talking fox that just arrived and how his customers were just taking this in stride, after what he just saw, it would be the best for the sake of his sanity.

"Say, what brings you here, Hikaru?" Perm asked, it was rare to see the little fox in Tomobiki, specially since he lived far away from town. As soon as Perm asked this, the little fox's mood suddenly dropped, remembering why he had come to this town. "Umm….you know how I said, I became a Myobu…?"

"A fox who's sworn to Inari's service?" Megane (who had finally gotten his frustrations out of his system) stated "A noble duty for one such as you."

The little fox merely nodded, still quite sad. "Well, me and my sempais, we had the task to look over a family under the direct protection of Inari-sama…and…" The little fox sniffled "I…I messed up…" he started crying quietly, not unlike a little boy who had broken a window and was ashamed of his actions. This started to have an effect on the other teachers as they took pity on the little fox.

"Hey hey, come on, don't cry." Kakugari patted the little fox's head in a fatherly manner. "Tell us what happened."

"Yeah, we'll help in what we can!" Perm cheered.

"You can count on us!" Chibi seconded his colleagues outburst.

"True, after all, we are all friends are we not?" Megane finished, taking a proud pose, while his colleagues all clapped.

"*sniff* *sniff* Thank you very much, everyone! *sniff*" Once the little fox settled down, he started his tale.

"Umm…Eighteen years ago, I finally became a Myobu, and Inari-sama had asked me to help look after a family blessed with her providence along with 8 other kitsune, the **Aoki** family in Fushimi, Kyoto."

"Aoki?" The Teachers repeated, suddenly quite uneasy. Megane's left eye was twitching.

"We were to help the family and help raise their children, acting like brothers and sisters or aunts and uncles depending on the case. But a couple of years ago, their first born, had abandoned Fushimi after a martial arts competition…"

"Wait…" Kakugari interrupted "…Don't tell me the kid lost, did he?"

"No, actually…he won. It was a worldwide competition with fighters from all around the world, and he was declared the strongest fighter in the whole world, we were all really proud of him…but then, he announced that since he was the strongest…that he had no reason to be a martial artist anymore…umm, in other words…"

"He **retired**…" Perm finished for the little fox "Umm…how old would this fellow be nowadays?"

The little fox sat on the floor and thought for a moment, doing the math mentally. Finally after a short while, he stood back up and answered.

"I think he'd be 16 years-old"

"And after he won that competition…then what happened?" Chibi asked eager to hear the rest of the story

"Well…His father said that he was at an age where he should pick his fiancée and marry, but he didn't want to marry yet, so they got into a fight. And one night he ran away…" The little fox sniffled a bit "Ever since…we've been looking for him all over Japan…all of us…" He quietly cried

"All nine of you?" Megane questioned, this seemed too grand a task for a mere 9 foxes in his opinion.

"Oh no, there are nine Myobu protecting the Aoki household, but there are over a **thousand** foxes under the service of the Aoki family"

The number was indeed staggering, and the tale was extremely surreal, which was actually common for Tomobiki, the epicenter of all things weird. However there was one question in the Teachers' minds.

"Hikaru…" Megane started, with a serious look in his face "Would you mind telling me the name of the boy you are looking for?"

"Ok" The little fox nodded "His name is Kenichi Aoki, but we call him-"

* * *

"-Ken! Master Ken! Please wake up!" Nu was yelling at the top of his speakers.

"Ow~! Anybody got the number of the meteor that just hit me?" The boy said dazed. He was currently upside down in a corner inside a crashed UFO, a small cat-like spherical, floating computer was trying to get his attention.

"Master Ken…" The gravity defying, feline themed computer assistant started "We have finally arrived."

"Ugh…where? Earth?" The young man picked himself up, a little shaken from the sudden, wild ride he had to endure.

"No, far from it actually." Nu hovered over to the escape hatch of the cruiser and with a digital command he unlocked it. "This is planet Oniboshi, Emi's home planet."

Ken crawled out of the wrecked spaceship to look at the view of the alien planet, rather shocked to learn that he was now marooned in a planet not even known to Earth! How the hell was he going to get back home? Ken's expression quickly changed when he considered this last bit of info: He was as far as humanly possible from home, far from any fox who would try to drag him home, far from his father and the forced omiai he would have to endure, far from the responsibilities of Earth, and in a planet potentially full of alien women who would fall for his exotic charms. Nu was checking the data of the Oni satellites in order to pinpoint his position with his built in GPS.

"Lord Moroboshi's home is a few clicks from this place to the west. We should hurry-"

"What's the rush?"

"P-pardon?" Nu looked nervously at the questionable human who was currently his companion and regretfully…his boss.

"It's a whole new world, new opportunities, new chances! I've never been to an alien planet before."

"Umm…Master Ken, technically, YOU are the alien here"

"Shut it!" Ken barked the order, Nu had little choice but to obey. "Now direct me to the nearest bar!"

"What! But Master Ken, my scanners indicate you are a minor! You shouldn't drink!"

"Yeah, when the barkeep asks you what my age is, the correct answer is 'old enough', capice?" Ken's eyes narrowed as he gave this new order.

"I really think we should-"

"CAPICE?" Ken all but growled, giving a decidedly feral scowl to the slightly frightened AI.

"I…understand" Nu surrendered, remembering his mistress's orders, to follow ALL of Ken's commands. Right now he was considering that may have been a mistake, one he could do nothing about since he was bound by his programming to follow all of Emi's commands to the letter. ALL OF THEM.

"Now take me to a bar Garfield"

"My name is Nu."

Ken merely stared at Nu, after a while he gave a defeated sigh. "Right this way, Master Ken…" And with that the duo made their way to the closest city to where they crash landed, the Oni capital.

To be continued


	4. Drunk boogie

Chapter 4 "Drunk boogie"

All characters belong to their respective owners, the original characters from Urusei Yatsura cast belong to Rumiko Takahashi.

Enjoy

* * *

An Oni tavern, the place looked quite like a regular tavern, albeit it was a much more futuristic. Patrons of various alien species sat and drank, some had a very threatening air to them, many of these were Oni. Waiters and waitresses, various oni, humanoid aliens, and robots among these, moved through the tables taking orders and cleaning the vacant ones for new patrons. From the doors emerged Ken followed close by Nu, looking all too nervous to be in such a place.

"Master Ken, time is of the essence, we shouldn't waste any time and go get help!" Nu kept as close to Ken as possible, especially since the, teenaged human was the sort that he could defend himself from any unseemly thugs they could encounter at these bars.

"Relax! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity! How many times will I get to flirt with chicks in an entirely different solar system." Ken said, eyeing a particularly attractive waitress as he sat by the bar.

"Well, considering that your planet is barely on a class 4 technological level I'd say- …" Nu stopped as his processors considered what he just heard.

"Master Ken, when you ordered me to direct you to a bar, I realized that perhaps it was with the intent of consuming inebriating beverages, and not perhaps replenish strength by consuming food and water, am I correct?"

"Don't get me wrong. I am gonna get some chow here…hopefully alien food will be tasty."

"I see…So am I also correct to assume that your main reason for visiting this establishment of questionable morals…" Nu started low, but his voice was raising as he delivered the question. "…was merely to socialize with the local populace!"

"What? Hell NO!" came the reply, Nu was taken a back, he was expecting a different answer.

"I apologize, Master Ken, it seems that perhaps I underestimated you."

"Damn right you did!"

"Ah, I believe I understand what you may be attempting. Reconnaissance, you are in this seedy place where often criminals may wander in order to learn more of the Selachi pirates, so that you may have an edge in the upcoming battle?" Nu eagerly asked, perhaps Ken did have his mistress's well being in his best interest.

Ken scratched at his head confusedly "Uh…No."

"Oh. No I understand, you are trying to learn some of the Oni customs, in order to blend in easily and reach the Moroboshi household while laying low?"

Starting to get a little more distracted, Ken focused more on picking his ear with his pinky "Not really."

"Then maybe…Ah, you hope to ambush any would be pursuers or enemies, start a bar fight and while our foes are busy amidst the ensuing chaos, we can reach our destination and warn Lord Ataru?"

"Hey, you know, that one's pretty good. Of course a little pointless since I didn't notice anyone follow us." Ken then turned and pounded on bar. "WHO DO I HAVE TO KICK TO GET SOME SERVICE IN HERE!"

Nu looked confused, he wracked his processors till he was about to overheat but finally he gave up trying to guess "Then…what're we here for then?"

"Already told ya, to pick up chicks." In that moment the barkeep a rather rotund and big Oni, finally walked to their side of the bar. "Ah right, gimme the strongest stuff you got in this joint, thanks." Ken then leaned back on the bar as the barkeep left to retrieve his order. Nu was about to enter in a critical error cycle.

"But…you told me you weren't here to socialize" Nu carefully said

"And I didn't lie, I'm here for babes." Ken said, giving a wink to one of the waitresses, who only 'hmph'-ed and walked to the other side of the bar. Nu's patience subroutine finally snapped

"But that's the SAME AS SOCIALIZING!" Nu yelled. Ken flinched at the outburst, then he took a pensive pose…as he considered what Nu just said.

"Huh, I didn't know." He said as if it was something minor, but Nu wasn't done yet.

"You mean to tell me you are going to waste your time here, FLIRTING, while Moroboshi-hime may be in potential danger!" Nu was starting to smoke quite a bit, Ken backed further to make some space between himself and the irate robot.

"Geez don't get you circuits in a bunch, we'll go get help…..eventually."

"YOU ARE UNBELIEVABLE!" Everyone in the tavern turned to witness the scene by the bar as Ken covered his ears, being in point blank to the outburst didn't make it any easier to his sensitive hearing. "OF ALL THE IRRESPONSIBLE, INCONSIDERATE, DISRESPECTFUL BEHAVIOUR I HAVE EVER WITNESSED, YOU, SIR, TAKE THE CAKE. YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF, WHY I-"

"Quiet!" Ken barked at the feline robot. Nu suddenly found himself silenced and tried his best to gesture and mimic the rest of his ideas.

"Tch! Seriously, there's no need to turn up the volume to eleven…Kon! You were making me sound like some sort of monster back there" Nu angrily floated back and forth trying to mimic some more angry reprimands until Ken grabbed him and had little choice to stay still, then Ken and Nu went face to face, as Ken explained

"Look, I WILL help save your Oni princess, don't worry about that. But I'm gonna keep her waiting for a while, the longer she waits the more grateful she'll be with me, and the better how she'll demonstrate it." Nu looked absolutely shocked at this revelation, but could do little more than stare in his restrained position.

Then Ken took a pose of 'to be or not to be' holding Nu like he was a makeshift Yorick "Oh but you're probably thinking, 'what if I tell Emi what you were up to while she waited, cold and alone, hiding in that pirate UFO or whatever', well my friend…" It was then that Ken moved Nu, to face him directly all while giving a menacing scowl to the defenseless AI. "…that ain't gonna happen. You see, you have to follow **my** orders, (thought I didn't catch that, huh?) whether you like it or not, and this little conversation here? You are forbidden to reveal it to Emi, ever." He then released Nu as he floated back a small distance, still furious on how he was **tricked** by this scheming human. "Now that we have solved that, you may speak."

Nu merely looked at Ken, in a disappointed stare. "You are a scoundrel."

Ken waved off the reprimand, uninterested "Meh, I've been called worse" Just then the barkeep arrived with a large bowl of pickled plums and set them in front of Ken. "Hmm, what are these? Appetizers?"

"It's what you ordered kid." The barkeep said. "You look kind of skinny so you should take it easy with those, you don't want to wind up with a massive hangover."

Ken stared at the bowl in front of him. Nu just gave a disapprobatory huff.

Ken took one of the plums in his hand. " I don't believe it…" He said seemingly displeased.

Nu nodded in agreement "I know, he didn't even ask you for your ID!" Ken ignored the moral dilemma the computer AI was considering.

Ken examined the what seemed to be a pickled plum in his hand, deciding that maybe this was an alien version of alcohol. He took a close look to it. _It looks like a pickled plum…_ then he sniffed it. _It smells like a pickled plum… _Then he gave it a lick _It tastes like a pickled plum…_

Then after careful consideration he popped it into his mouth and ate it. He waited for a few seconds until he reached a conclusion. "It was a pickled plum…" He growled.

Nu, genuinely worried floated near the pony-tailed youth, and examined him with his scanner, though he wasn't really equipped to determine some of the key differences between oni and human anatomy. "Are you all right, Master Ken?"

Ken's expression darkened, his fists tightened and his teeth clenched "…K-…K-…K-…"

"Master… Ken?"

All of the sudden, Ken grabbed the bowl of plums in his hand, jumped on the bar, and barked a resounding:

"**KOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!**"

The patrons once more turned to Ken and Nu watching with interest the new outburst. Nu in turn filed the odd bark that Ken gave, seemingly by sheer instinct, into his database for further inspection. Ken then pointed and yelled at the barkeep. "What the HELL, dude! HOW the hell am I supposed to get drunk on these! Are trying to trick me? ME!"

The barkeep crossed his arms in a defiant pose, slightly miffed that someone had just put their feet over his immaculate bar. "Hey, those are prime umeboshi, kid. The strongest stuff this side of the Milky Way. If you're not careful, you'll wind up blitzed"

Ken's eyes twitched at the challenge, he never backed down from one, regardless of how utterly idiotic it could be. "Oh yeah?" In a swift motion he took the bowl to his mouth and started gobbling all the plums in the bowl. Nu, the barkeep, the waitresses, and several patrons watched him chug the whole thing. When he was finished, he sighed and slammed the bowl on the floor, jumping off in a triple backflip and landing on his feet. With a defiant pose, he grinned smugly at the bewildered stares of all the other patrons.

"Well? I don't 'feel' blitzed…" He walked up to the bar, setting one foot on the stool he challenged the barkeep. "Do I 'look' blitzed?" The barkeep, still trying to wrap his head to how the youth in front of him was still sober after eating a whole bowl of umeboshi, merely shook his head.

"Umm…perhaps…" came Nu's voice. "Perhaps Master Ken, humans are immune to the inebriating effects of umeboshi." Nu finished, slightly relieved that the young man didn't actually consume anything harmful.

"Tch! So these are just regular umeboshi. Figures…" Ken then sat down at the bar once more, fuming. "Then give me some, oh I don't know, some juice or some crap, dude. Might as well quench my thirst." Nu breathed a sigh of relief, no harm in drinking some juice, right? While the barkeep went to pour the juice in a glass, Ken was busy getting himself slapped in the face by one of the alien waitresses after he had goosed her. "Call me!" He said making a gesture with his pinky and his thumb as the hand imprint shined bright red on his face. As his juice was being served Ken moved back to the bar.

"Well, Master Ken, after you finish your juice, maybe we can finally move on to our original task of meeting Lord Ataru, don't you agree?"

Ken merely growled at this with an intimidating glare but turned and barked "Kon!" as he drank some of the juice. As Ken set down his glass, he started noticing the taste of the juice, it was rather…good! He took a few more gulps of the beverage, licking his lips in satisfaction.

Nu watched with mild interest, but he started noticing a few details on Ken: his face started getting flushed, his movements were getting clumsier, there was something wrong with his balance and it seemed like he was getting…..

…Tipsy.

"Hey, ***hiccup*** this…thish ish acshtually pretty good! ***hiccup***"

Nu looked horrified. "Oh dear"

* * *

Tomobiki High, a lot had changed in the old high school in these last years. It had been renovated into a sturdier building, quite easily ever since the usual events that would destroy the school on a daily basis had stopped occurring some years ago. However the old legends still stood the march of time here, in this school:

The School Cemetery

The Ghost Pianist

The Unopenable Locker

The Laughing Skeleton

The Abominable Classroom of Failures

The Legend of the Mysterious Red Mantle

The Laughing Mirror

And The Old Cursed Willow Tree

Though most schools have tales and stories like this, in recent years a new legend was formed: **The tale of The Invincible Kitsune.**

Tomobiki had started to face a school gang problem in recent years, many schools battled one another in search of dominance, however Tomobiki High didn't have any strong fighters and became the victims of the other gangs, doomed to be in the middle of this war. One fateful day, all the gangs from the other schools reunited in front of Tomobiki High, to claim it as their own territory, it was a standoff, no one dared move unless they were attacked by another attack. The Taian Vo-tech gang, the Butsumetsu High gang, the Shakko High gang and the Sanrinbo High gang all were out for blood that day and Tomobiki High had no one to defend them.

But when the battle was about to star, a lone young man, with ragged clothes and a world-weary air about him, walked towards the entrance of the school. His hair, black like ink, was tied into a long poytail that reached his shins. The tip of his hair was of a pure white color, looking almost like a fox's tail. And underneath an old baseball cap, his eyes shown of a unique golden color. All the students could only stare as the boy, a mere 16 years of age, walked through the field, ignoring the bloodlust and killing intent that was emanating from all those reunited in the soon-to-be battlefield.

One of the members of the Butsumetsu gang, wielding an aluminum bat challenged the stranger, standing in his way.

"Hey bro, you better get out of our way, or else we'll send you to the hospital."

The stranger didn't answer, he merely walked past the delinquent. This infuriated him to no end, he took the bat in his hand and was about to strike at the stranger. But in that very instant, the stranger turned around in a fluid motion. Ducking underneath the delinquent's strike, he then buried his elbow into the chest of the Butsumetsu High delinquent. The thug then fell to the ground, unconscious. Then all hell broke loose, Butsumetsu, Shakko, Sanrinbo and Taian charged towards the stranger.

In the end, he was the only one who stood in the battlefield. The stranger looked over to Tomobiki High and saw all the students huddled together in fear, as well as all the teachers who were impotent to stop the gangs themselves. The principal of Tomobiki High, stepped forward, it was then that the boy spoke.

"I'll protect this school, as long as I stay here you won't worry about anyone trying to disrupt it's peace."

The young man paused and out of his pocket he produced a small plastic bag containing some inarizushi, after taking a bite of the fried tofu pouch he continued.

"However, I'll be allowed to attend here, and do as I wish. If you force me to leave, you're on your own"

The principal narrowed his eyes, this had all the feel of a deal with the devil, but in order to protect his students he was faced with little choice but to accept. The boy gave a feral-like grin, and all he said in turn was:

"**Kon**"

* * *

Megane had finished the tale of the newly formed legend of Tomobiki High, his audience the students of class 1-4, respectfully applauded his story telling skill, actually they were all much more impressed with the degree of detail in which he had remembered the events that took place in this school, over six months ago (although to call it one of the school's legends was a bit of a stretch). Megane bowed to his students, he didn't really want to retell this particular story, however today he was in a good mood.

Kitsune was absent.

Usagi looked at the empty seat that was meant to be Ken's, slightly worried.

_Ken-kun, I don't know why, but I'm worried. I hope you're all right…_

Megane adjusted his glasses as he took his book and addressed the class. "All right enough stories, we should continue with the lesson now Saeko, could you tell me who was-" Before Megane could finish the sentence the classroom door was opened, everyone looked to the newcomer.

"Kon!"

_That fox-like bark!_

Usagi stood up from her seat, expecting to see the boy she had come to care for. "Kitsune, you're-"

"Hi!"

"…Eh?"

In front of her was not Ken, instead it was a miniaturized version of Ken, only with a fuzzy white tail and white fox ears on his head. The whole class stared at the newcomer, hundreds of questions as to who…or what was this creature, which was bearing a caricaturized resemblance to Ken, was. Bantarou and company looked at the miniature version of their 'nemesis' and were about to burst laughing. Usagi was shell-shocked, to say the least, it was almost like someone was playing a prank on Ken. The diminutive Ken even tried to imitate the intimidating scowl that Ken donned most of the time, however on the miniature doppelganger it came of more as cute instead.

"Sorry, I'm late Megane sensei…" started the cute little clone. "Had some trouble getting here. Kon!"

Usagi continued to stare. Megane walked over and picked up mini-Ken and setting him on his desk, he covered the fox ears.

"*Ahem* Class, regardless of what you think, this is NOW Ken Aoki. Remember he's a beloved classmate of yours so treat him kindly." Of course he was greeted with the unbelieving stares of his class

Little Ken then turned and made his best attempt at mimicking the real Ken. "Hey, don't mess with me! Or I'll beat you up, Kon!" The little fox then started taking a fighting stance, however it was too adorable to be taken seriously.

Megane played along, in a really, REALLY hammed-up way. "Ahhh please forgive me, I won't bother you anymore, Ken-sama, GUAHAHAHAHA" He laughed, despite what he had just said it was way too hard to be serious in front of this adorable imitation to a student he had come to despise.

"Wait a moment!" Usagi yelled, flustered. "What is the meaning of this!" she said pointing at the transformed fox.

"Ah, my name is Ken, nice to meet you!" The little fox greeted trying to fool the class, no one bought it of course.

"Ah welcome to our class, Ken-chan! GYAHAHAHA!" Bantarou and crew greeted playing along with the obviously fake Ken.

_We prefer THIS Ken to the real bastard._ The gang thought in eerie coordination. Usagi merely looked at the impostor accusingly.

"I know we call Ken a kitsune, but this is ridiculous!" Usagi pointed to Mini-Ken. The Mini-Ken walked over to Usagi and tugged on her skirt, she turned and crouched to be as close to level as the adorable fake.

"Y-yes, did you want something from me?"

"I'm not a kitsune!" The little fox lied. Everybody did a face-plant, at the obvious lie, it had sounded a lot to Ken's typical complaint to his nickname. Usagi was the first to recover.

"No matter how you look at it, you're not the real Ken." She deadpanned; Bantarou crawled over to Usagi to whisper something. As she leaned in to listen she looked to consider his words for a second…

_"Do you really want that bastard back, this little guy seems much preferable in my opinion."_

Then she nailed him on the head with a desk.

"NO, HE'S NOT PREFERABLE OVER THE REAL KEN!" She yelled. She then turned over to the impostor and was about to clobber him…but she couldn't.

She didn't have the heart to yell or harm at the diminutive impostor.

"Now, Miyake, this is Ken now so you should meekly accept the-GYAH!"

CRASH! Megane on the other hand, was an entirely different story, as he was burried in the classroom's several desks.

As the teacher laid unconscious under a pile of desks, Usagi turned to Mini-Ken.

"Please, tell us who are you?" Usagi said sweetly.

"I already told you!" The little impostor insisted "My name is Ken!" Usagi shook her head, and once more in a sweet tone she asked the little fox.

"Please, you can trust me." In that moment the little fox felt a weird feeling, that he knew this person. She looked awfully familiar, but it was then he realized that she looked like...

"SHINOBU!" The little fox took his true form and jumped to Usagi's arms. To the kind-hearted fox there was no doubt, her hair might've been a different color, but he recognized her eyes. He snuggled to Usagi's chest, she of course was only more confused.

"Umm…" As all the class leaned in close to the scene, Minoru decided to point something out. "Usagi, do you know this little fox?" She eagerly shook her head no, the little fox kept hugging her and snuggling close. "I really missed you, Shinobu-san! I'm so happy to see you again!"

"Umm…little fox?" Usagi pulled the little fox away at arms length. "You're a little confused, Shinobu is the name of my mother. I'm her daughter, Usagi Miyake." The little fox jumped off her shocked.

_Her…daughter! _ A part of him knew, several years ago that Shinobu would never love him in the same way that he loved her. But he accepted this, and as long as Shinobu was happy, Hikaru would be happy for her. However he was ill prepared to meet her daughter, but alas, here she was.

The little fox dropped out of Usagi's arms and looked back at her. "You look a lot like your mom, Usagi-san" The little fox sighed, he still had a job to do, so there was no time to reminisce.

"My name… my real name is Hikaru, and I'm here to look for Ken Aoki, heir to the Kitsune ken style of martial arts."

He then rubbed the back of his head and bowed apologetically. "I'm sorry I tricked you."

The rest of the class reassured it wasn't such a big deal, that they actually enjoyed his little stunt, however many started to whisper and comment about what they just heard.

"Ken? He's here for Ken?" "Heir to the what now?" " So he did study martial arts!" "Never heard of this style though" "Not surprising Ken's acquainted to a fox really"

But Usagi noticed something really important the little fox just said.

"Wait, what do you mean you're here to look for Ken? Where is he?"

Megane emerged form the desk pile, and after dusting himself a little he spoke. "Well, we went to check the apartment where that bastard lived. Unfortunately we didn't find him, the landlady confirmed that he left for work in the mini-mart yesterday and never returned, As of today we don't know where he is."

The class started to chatting about the issue hurriedly, while Bantarou and his gang were cheering loudly. "BANZAI BANZAI BANZAI! We got rid of that demon fox! BANZAI!". Megane cleared his throat and nearly dislocating his jaw he shouted. "AND I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER! GYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Usagi of course decked him, and Bantarou's troopers under desks, but continued to look worried. "It doesn't make any sense, Ken-kun wouldn't miss a class…" . The rest of the class was about to counter and argue loudly before Usagi cut in. "Today we were gonna have a swimming class, there's no force on Earth, manmade or natural, that could've stopped him. All things considered…" Usagi finished, the rest of the class stood silent nodded knowingly in agreement.

"That is true. It wasn't any force on Earth that claimed Kenichi Aoki…" An old, utterly annoying voice chimed in.

In that moment an unearthly (as well as unexplained) explosion blew the class away. The cause, of course, was Cherry.

The little fox recovered first and bounced over to the shrunken monk. "What do you mean by that?" The little fox queried, worried for his familiar.

"It is just as I said, what claimed Kenichi Aoki was not of this world but from beyond the stars…"

Megane jumped out of the rubble at hearing that, excitement dripping in his voice, at last, shimmering sliver of hope. "You don't mean…Oni, right?"

"I cannot be certain…Kenichi was tenacious on his escape, but alas, because he has become the inheritor of the **chaotic luck** that plagued Ataru Moroboshi in his youth, and though he is a talented young man in his own right, he was ill prepared to defeat something that he could not fight." Cherry continued, his retelling of the events that took place last night, though Megane visibly cringed at the mention of the other name.

"Wait a second…" Minoru emerged from the rubble, just now considering something. "How do you know all of this?"

"FOOL! I am a monk trained in mystic and psychic arts, procuring this information is nothing for one such as I."

Megane looked at the depraved monk cautiously, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, he deduced "Let me guess, you happened to witness everything, but you hid in a trash can nearby like a craven little coward , correct?"

Cherry hmph-ed, insulted at the accusation. "That's a very rude accusation, Megane."

"But it's true, isn't?" Megane pointed at him accusingly.

"…Yes" Cherry deadpanned

Usagi of course clobbered Cherry, this time using an oversized sledgehammer, embedding the depraved monk on the floor and giving him a nasty looking bump on his head. "And you didn't do anything to help him! What kind of monk are you!"

"Say what you will of my actions, but in the end…'tis fate." He declared in finality

Hikaru upon hearing this jumped over to the window sill in the classroom.

_Ken is in trouble, I gotta tell the others. _The little fox thought_  
_

The little fox inhaled, and howled a loud and all reaching:

"**KON!"**

To be continued…


	5. Drunk boogie, part 2

Chapter 5 "Drunk boogie, part 2"

A/N: There is a very obvious reference to another anime that will take place in this chapter, needless to say, things are only going to get sillier from here on out. As always I do not own Urusei Yatsura, Rumiko Takahashi does, I only own my characters. Also all references to the aforementioned anime belong to GAINAX

A/N 2: Thanks for the review UY rules, however I only mentioned Megane to still be unmarried, I didn't specify on the other members of Lum's stormtroopers, I'm not confirming anything though. As for the Mendou's well, you'll see soon enough hopefully

A/N 3: Fixed some errors and stuff on the earlier chapters, nothing too significant was added, but just so ya know.

Please continue commenting/reviewing, I appreciate all comments and reviews

* * *

"**I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION!**" Nu was yelling at the barkeep, all the while the patrons cheered Ken who was doing a funny dance and singing in those moments, drunk beyond reason.

" _~Don't get so fidgety! _

_~You're always looking all over the place!_

_~Stop looking away from me! _

_~More than anyone else,  
_

_~love you, love you, love you the best! _

_~love you, love you, love you! _

_~love you, love you, love you! _

_~love you, love you, love you! EVERYBODY NOW!"_

Ken was happily singing and dancing all the while juggling four jugs full of 'juice', the patrons and some of the waitresses were all clapping and singing along to the catchy tune. The barkeep, merely scratched his head.

"I don't get it, he was ok just a minute ago. He only started to get weird when I gave him some of that juice." He finished pointing at a barrel at the far end of the corner. Nu hovered quickly by the barrel, and it was then he noticed a small warning label attached to the side of the barrel.

It read…

WARNING: It has been confirmed that this beverage has adverse effects of members of certain planets.

_'A-A-Adverse?' _Nu thought to himself_  
_

On earthlings it acts as an acting poison.

_'Oh no...What do I do?' _Nu was starting to panic, hopefully the warning had some sort of information on an antidote_..._It listed the symptoms in detail.

The effects of these are that the user will go through a phase exhibiting drunken behavior…

Nu turned and saw Ken spinning on his head juggling a ball with his feet (where had he gotten the ball, was a mystery). Dejectedly Nu said "Check…let's see what else…"

And afterwards they will…

Nu read it over and over again, there was no way anyone would…

"LISTEN UP EVERYBODY!" came a hot-blooded yell from the middle of the room.

Nu turned to see what Ken was up to now, hoping at least he was alive. Fortunately he was quite well and alive, however he had disposed of his old ragged shirt and had taken a red tablecloth and fashioned it as a cape, he had activated one of the laser blades he had stolen from the pirates (Nu would have to talk to him about taking pirate weapons later), and he was wearing a pair spiky sunshades (where he got these was also a mystery). Striking a pose pointing to himself he yelled with the full power of his manly soul:

"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?"

Nu recalled the last piece of warning on the juice barrel.

And afterwards they will act out a play.

Nu stared at the youth looking nothing short from a character out of an anime.

"I knew I shouldn't have gotten activated today." Nu deadpanned.

Ken jumped over and landed on the bar, right in front of Nu, grabbing the feline robot he pointed to the exit.

"Let's go, Simon! We still have to defeat the Spiral King!" Ken said, the patrons cheered at his over-the-top performance.

"Wait, whaaAAAAAAAAAA-!" was all Nu got the chance to say before the duo dashed out of the bar, Nu being dragged along. The patrons only stared at the retreating youth and robot.

"They left without paying…" the barkeep mused

* * *

Outside Nu proceeded to try and talk some sense into Ken

"WAIT MASTER KEN, where are we going!" Nu said in full-blown panic mode.

"My name's not 'masterken', I'm Kamina, the indomitable hero and leader of the Gurren Brigade, but enough talking let's go kick some beastman butt!" Ken said fully serious as he dashed throught the streets of the Oni capital. Nu looked fearful at Ken, but immediately paused and analyzed his situation.

_Master Ken truly believes himself to be this Kamina individual, and earlier he referred to me as Simon…perhaps I can use this new turn of events to take us all the way to Lord Moroboshi!  
_

"Umm…Master Ke-er, I mean, master Kamina-?"

"Call me Big bro!" Ken shot a dashing smile as they kept running.

"Umm…yeah, uh Big bro?"

"What is it Simon?"

"We're headed to the Spiral King's base, right?"

"Right! We're gonna kick his ass!"

"Of course…umm, do you know where he is?"

Ken screeched to a halt as he released Nu and took a hand to his chin. "Y'know Simon, I didn't consider that, now that I think about it, where are our mechs for that matter? Where are Yoko and the rest of the brigade?" Ken sat cross legged in the middle of the street as his persona considered this. Nu filed away the new information, and while Ken wracked his brain, Nu devised a cunning plan.

"Ah Big bro, it's terrible!" Nu started, trying to get into character (although he had no clue how well this would work), he did manage to get Ken's attention. "Yoko's been kidnapped!"

"WHAT! By who?" Ken got to his feet and, shocked by the sudden news.

"Uh ummm…oh yeah, the beastmen got her!" Nu nervously continued, fortunately he managed to fool Ken who was in character.

"Damn those bastards!" Ken spat "We need to find our mechs and kick their asses!"

Nu found a small hitch in his plan.

_Damn, I do not know where will we find a mech right now, if I break character, Ken may act adversely and I could be in trouble, it doesn't help that I do not know how this character is supposed to behave. I need to get him back home to inform Lord Ataru of Emi's situation as soon as possible!_

But just then something happened that made Nu consider that maybe there luck was changing, as something caught Ken's eye. "Ah there they are, and look, they're already in 'Gattai' mode even!" Ken pointed to…Uh oh.

Ken had pointed to a red Oni Patrol Mech-suit, Nu considered his earlier thought about their luck changing, however all signs pointed to it just getting worse.

Today was gonna suck.

* * *

Ten, or Jariten as he was often called by some people (people he would rather torch) in his mid-twenties he had become a full-fledged patroller, donning the Oni patrol uniform, fatigues with a yellow and black camouflage pattern. A responsible and respectable figure in society, an example to us all…and if you believe that, then you have my pity. Jariten was still quite bratty and arrogant, as well as he got into trouble a lot of times, he flirted with many women, but his luck was less than stellar these days, since he couldn't pull the "good little boy" shtick anymore. Currently he was fiddling with a small panel, which showed up that he was still unable to connect to his cousin.

"Dammit!" Ten slammed his fist to the shiny tiger-stripped device. "Her ship's signal is still offline, what was the transmission code for her Oniberry? Argh! Emi you moron!" Ten sighed, closing the panel in front of him. " Aw, man, Ataru's gonna chew me out for this one if he finds out..." Ten shuddered visibly, images of frying pans, all promising pain, came to mind. "…or worse he could tell Lum-chan!" A new and much more terrifying image, this one a memory of how Emi's mother had yelled (though not directly) to Ten many years back, lighting ablaze and her yelling echoed horribly in her UFO. He still had traumas about that day, he would never incinerate a scarf ever again.

"No use about it, I'll see if I can contact Nu-chan…hopefully Emi-chan hasn't gone and done something stupid yet"

He was about to make his way to his pride and joy: a brand new Oni WARMECH T-4-13, a state of the art mecha that was suited to apprehend and stop any criminals and/or evildoers. Standing tall at over 4 stories tall, a shiny red armored robot stood, he loved that mecha. He also liked to stomp on his cousin-in-law with it whenever he had the chance. He couldn't wait to patrol the skies of Oniboshi again in it's state-of-the-art cockpit interior that was currently being boarded by a young man wearing a cape, yes that mech was his baby. Ah, but riding would have to wait till he managed to get a hold of-

"Wait, what?" Ten asked as he checked the cockpit entrance again, no he didn't imagine it.

Ten did a double take as he saw a young man wearing a cape, ragged pants, armed with two laser blades, pry open the entrance hatch to his baby. He noticed a few things, first the young man looked to be human, earth human to be exact, second he was followed by something that looked suspiciously a lot like Nu. But none of this mattered; they were robbing his vehicle, his baby, right in front of him! Oh, there would be hell to pay…

"HEY! MORON! What the hell do you think your doing? That's my mech!" Ten hollered, just about as the unidentified criminal climbed inside his mech. Nu turned to notice Ten a little too late.

"Ten-san! Listen you have to-" Before Nu could finish, Ken interrupted him with a gesture to stay quiet and let him handle this.

"Not anymore, I've claimed this ride in the name of the Gurren brigade! " Ken yelled, shoving Nu inside and closing in the cockpit.

"No! Wait! MASTER KE-!" Nu was cut off before he could finish

"Moron!" Ten yelled as he pulled a control remote from one of his pockets "You won't be able to steal my mech, I'm sure you wouldn't be able to even use it with your primitive knowledge, and besides with this security feature you won't be able to even escape from the cockpit!" Ten then proceeded to push a button with an image of a lock on it and the mech suit beeped a couple of times.

Inside red lights were blaring everywhere, Ken looked slightly curious at this situation, Nu was positively panicked.

"I-I need to explain everything to Ten-san, I have to apologize for this misunderstanding immediately!" Nu floated around nervously.

"You will do no such thing Lil' bro!" Ken barked in a commanding tone, Nu cursed internally remembering he still had to abide to all orders given by Ken.

"But Master Ke-…er, Big bro, he locked the Mech, we can't use it!" Nu decided to persuade in character (rather difficult since he had no idea how his character was supposed to act) so that Ken would surrender peacefully. Ken merely gave a smug grin.

"Aren't you forgetting something Simon?" Ken said as he took the controls of the mech "It doesn't matter if he locked us in here, all we need to defeat that beastman…" Ken's aura started glowing ominously "…is the power of our SOUL!"

The moment Ken said that 9 ethereal flames appeared surrounding him and just as instantly the moved outside the mech. Ten saw befuddled, how nine white flames engulfed his mech's fists, feet, shoulders, hips, and finally it's head, the Oni of course, properly panicked.

"GYAH! What're you doing to my baby, you MORON?"

In that moment and against all logic, the mech started moving, and before Ten could react, he received a powerful kick from the mech and was sent into a low orbit, he instantly recalled all those homeruns he had received in his toddler years.

Nope, he didn't like it.

Nu watched in shock as even under a lockdown, Ken had managed to move the mech. He then noticed that the white flames appeared once more, the youth's unique power, as it seemed. Of course he took this chance to analyze what was going on in fact, what he discovered was nothing short of amazing.

_Unbelievable! This earthling, he has an enormous well of life force! It must be what's called **ki**, I have data that some martial artists on a few systems that can tap into this power and use it as a destructive force. Somehow Ken can separate his ki into 9 cores, and manipulate them simultaneously, he can imbue it onto his own body increasing his latent capabilities and use it on inanimate objects as well, as long as maintains contact with said object. Right now the mech is locked and inactive, but he's using these cores to move the construct, like a puppeteer's strings! It's amazing!_

Nu was truly astounded at how Ken's abilities functioned_  
_

The mech then took a standing stance once more, inside the machine Nu was still analyzing all the data, but Ken decided to snap him out of it.

"SIMON!" Ken yelled

"Ah! Umm…what is it?" The feline AI sweat-umm oildropped.

"We are going after the Spiral King now, which way?" Ken commanded

"Huh!" Nu recalled his plan earlier, he had to get him to Lord Ataru's home as quickly as possible and inform him of his daughter's situation. He had to trick Ken into going toward Lord Ataru's manor while he was still under the effects of the juice.

"Right, from here we have to travel west…around…" Nu started, but was never given the chance to finish

"ALL RIGHT! Let's go kick their asses!" Ken yelled pushing uselessly at the controls, but still making the mech run by his will.

Nu blanched when he heard the deluded earthling's words. "Wait, whaaaaAAAAAAA-!" It was all he could say, driven to one of the cockpit's walls by the kinetic force of the mech's speed, they were going pretty fast. The mech tore through the streets, heading to the Oni Warlord's home at breakneck speeds. On the bright side they were gonna make it to Lord Ataru's home now in short time…

* * *

"They're late…" A man,in his forties complained, still waiting on his cousin-in-law, who was supposed to find his daughter...

In the middle of a stately room stood a man wearing a horned helmet and a regal tiger-stripped attire. He was tapping his foot impatiently waiting for someone. The room itself was being decorated in a grand fashion, a celebration was taking place, specifically a birthday party. Many Oni men and women a like were making all the preparations, cooking for guests, decorating, all for the Oni empress. The man kept pacing impatiently, moving through the servants as he kept a decidedly a serious expression. He was starting to get worried, today was Lum's birthday, and he wanted to surprise her (he even had gone as far as to keep Jariten and his blabbermouth from ruining this, he only gave him the task of getting a hold of his wayward daughter…)

This man is Ataru Moroboshi, once the Cancer of Tomobiki, once the saviour of Earth against the Oni invasion, was currently the Oni warlord himself. Ataru could hardly believe how much has changed in the past 20 years by the Earth calendar. It was more shocking that he had married Lum in the end, destroying whatever hope he had of ever getting his harem, a mere 17 years ago. Even though he didn't show it nearly as much as she would've liked, Ataru still loved Lum, and when they had finally married, she was the happiest girl in the universe...even after they were forced to leave Earth. It wasn't quite Ataru's fault as much as it was more of the usual bad luck, as just after the ceremony had ended, Mendo, the Stormtroopers, and Rei crashed the celebration. Ataru then decided to hide in Lum's homeplanet, Lum was all too happy to oblige, though she would miss her friends on Earth, her husband would stay by her side in Oniboshi. Ataru of course had regretted this decision, but he still cared for Lum. In the course of time, his lecherous behaviour had become much more subdued, he still flirted once in a while but nowhere near the level he used to be. When their daughter was born, Ataru had become the happiest man in the universe. He could still remember fondly when he saw his first daughter cradled in his arms for the first time all those years ago, as well as he recalled just what horrible parents his own parents had been…all because he was born a boy instead of the girl they wanted. Ataru then vowed to Lum that he would **love** and care for their daughter with all his heart. Ataru named her Emi which meant 'beautiful blessing' in Ataru's native language.

Lum cried tears of happiness that day, though he still had yet to tell Lum he loved her, knowing that he loved their daughter was more than enough for the Oni queen. He felt just as happy when they were blessed a second time with another daughter, 12 years later, Airi was the name Lum gave her.

Life had gone in a happy and passive pace for the little family for many years, it even seemed that Ataru's horrible luck had vanished a few months after Emi's birth, but life wasn't always as easy…

* * *

_A day ago..._

_"Whatcha mean I can't participate!" An enraged Emi, sparking with electricity growled at her father._

_"Emi-chan…" Ataru started "I was just saying we should pick another champion for the Tag races, that's all!"_

_"But Daddy, our clan has always had this duty" Emi complained. "Mom was the champion, as well as Grandma, why can't I!"_

_"Darling…" Lum interjected, trying to pacify and stop the father-daughter squabble in front of her. "Maybe you should let her be the champion, it IS a great honor for our clan."_

_Ataru the started whispering at Lum for a second "Lum, you might think that, but there's no way in hell I'm gonna risk my baby girl getting into THAT sort of situation!" Ataru of course meant how he had gotten engaged to the Lum all those years back. Lum merely gave him a flat expression._

_"And just what's so bad about being in THAT sort of situation, DARLING!" Lum's voice had that low growl and she was starting to spark electricity, sensing another of her husbands backhanded comments._

_"ALL RIGHT MOM! Give Daddy some Divine Retribution!" Emi cheered sparking as well. One lightning strike was bad but two, Ataru had to act fast!_

_"WAH! WAIT LUM! Listen-!" Ataru then started to whisper at his wife, who hadn't dropped her menacing growl. "Do you want our daughter to wind up with some perverted creep! I know how boys her age think, you have to trust me on this one, please!"_

_Lum never dropped her menacing scowl, but after a while she sighed and her face finally softened._

_"Is this the best for Emi?" She asked with all seriousness  
_

_"Trust me, it's for her own good." Ataru finished, Lum then faced her daughter.  
_

_"Emi…you should listen to what your father says…" She said, dejectedly. In her heart, Lum knew Ataru merely wanted to protect their child. Emi was less than happy about this turn of events._

_"M-Mom, you can't be serious!"_

_"Emi! It's for the best, you will not be the Tag Race Champion, and that's final!" Ataru ordered, Emi started tearing up._

_"D-d-daddy…" She sniffled "… YOU IDIOT!" _

_"UGUAAAAAAH!" Emi zapped at her father with all her strength, and ran off the living room crying._

_"Emi..." Lum merely whispered as she saw her storm off. On the floor Ataru was still smoking after being shocked to a crisp._

_"*coff* You know…she get's her horrible temper from YOUR side of the family *coff* " Ataru complained  
_

_Lum glared at her husband and opened her mouth to protest… but then she considered for a few moments and decided to keep quiet and accept defeat. This was an argument her husband would always win, the electric lynches never helped otherwise._

* * *

Ataru was shaken off from his memories when one of his servants called to him.

"Lord Moroboshi, you have guests." The Oni butler said in a refined, butler-like manner.

"Huh? Who?" Ataru asked slightly confused, when he heard a boisterous yell coming from the entrance

"YO! Moroboshi, long time!" Came the loud yell from a woman about his age wearing a chainmail bikini on her person, followed by an elegant lady in a white yukata and two other Onis, one in his same generation, the other a teenager.

It was Benten, followed by Oyuki and Ran's family, Lum's long time friends had joined in.

Benten looked as wild as ever, merely older and with a few new scars here and there but she kept her ever perpetual personality as well as her chainmail bikini. She kept to a life of vagrancy and traveled the universe, she was shocked at first to learn that Lum and Ataru had a kid but Emi had actually grown on her, and despite Ataru's complaints, she took Emi on the road a couple of times. It made Benten regret not having a kid of her own, but family life never suited her anyways, she would settle on being Emi's aunt any day.

Oyuki came wearing her best snow white yukata (which looked like all her other yukatas) and kept a demure and reserved attitude. She had kept to her duties as queen of Neptune, but she visited Lum and her family often. She had become much more graceful and demure, but still held that icy edge to her voice. She did honestly enjoy Ataru's antics, but she also cared for Lum as a friend, plus to her, all these adventures were quite enjoyable, though recently it had become quite peaceful, she hoped something would happen to liven things up like in the old days. Her family kept things in check back in Neptune, it would serve her daughter as experience to becoming a queen herself.

Ran looked the same as ever, donning a very conservative dress she still had a cutesy flair to her. She had predictably married Rei, though it wasn't quite certain how she managed to capture Rei's heart, no one questioned it, they were too happy of being rid of the moron, though some could think it was because of the heartbreak when Lum had gotten married, she probably took advantage of the rebound. Rei hadn't changed much, he was only older, which in his case gave his normal appearance a much more mature look, as well as he was still quite handsome, his alternate form...still looked as goofy as ever, but deep down, Rei was still the same, as a matter of fact he was about to scarf down on the party buffet, some of the servants where trying to keep him away or lose all the food in one sitting. But behind the couple was their son…

Remy, the son of Rei and Ran. He was an Oni with green hair, and a slight pinkish highlight. Wearing a black muscle shirt and some tiger stripped cargo pants. The young man looked to be a teenager, somewhat older than Emi, and as fate would have it hopelessly in love with her. He had inherited his father's good looks and was quite a glutton but he was quite more verbose than his father. He currently studied in the Oni Space Academy in hopes to be a fighter pilot just like his father (in reality, he was hoping to impress Emi, who so far had rejected all of his advances.)

"Everyone you're here! BENTEN! OYUKI! RAN!" Ataru made a dash to hug the ladies, but was stopped short thanks to Benten's fist to his face.

"This again? don't ya ever learn, dude!" Benten yelled, her fist still embedded into Ataru's skull.

"It's good to see you in such high spirits, Ataru." Oyuki greeted, amused.

"Darling, you never change don't you?" Ran finished with a happy little giggle.

"Yo, where's Lum?" Benten asked removing her fist from the lecherous warlord.

"Oh, she took Airi to visit her parents. They'll be back by tomorrow, heh heh heh, she probably thinks I forgot her birthday."

"Ara, that wasn't very nice Ataru." Oyuki chided

"HAHAHA, but now Lum will never see it coming, awesome work, Moroboshi!" Benten applauded

"Darling! Who knew you could be so sneaky?" Ran said with mock surprise, internally she though _Why that Lum! She's getting a surprise party, but you'll see Lum. I'll sabotage this party and then I'll finally have my REVENGE!_ "MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Everyone could only stare at Ran's sudden outburst, some questioning her sanity.

"~Kyon, Little Ran is embarrassed!"

"Ahem, Lord Moroboshi…" Remy raised his hand to get the earthling's attention "If I may be so bold, you wouldn't happen to know where's Emi-san?"

Ataru had been giggling like a moron for a while now, but he quickly recovered, and took a much annoyed scowl. "Pfeh! Emi-chan had a tantrum and left yesterday. She took her UFO with her so who knows where she is." Ataru complained, internally though, he was a wreck hoping Ten would find her soon and bring her home safe. He still couldn't shake a nagging feeling at the back of his head.

"Moroboshi…" Benten walked over to Ataru, and placing him in a neck hold, she interrogated the former Tomobiki lecher " WHAT THE HELL DID YA DO THIS TIME?"

"GUARK!" Moroboshi croaked and tried to speak "Urk-I f-forbade Emi from being in the Tag Races-gulk!"

"WHAT?" Benten then threw him to the ground in a swift, judo-like motion

"My my, Emi must have been depressed to hear that." Oyuki considered

"Urk! She was more angry than depressed, GUAH!" Ataru managed to croak out, it was just then that Benten straddled him and grabbed the neck of his uniform. He normally would enjoy this position if it wasn't for the sheer murderous glare Benten was giving him at the moment.

"You ASS! For the Oni, being the champion is the ultimate honor! You better have a damn good reason to do this!"

"Umm well, you see-" Ataru mumbled something, too low for anyone to hear

"SPEAK UP, MORON!" She rattled him, it was then that Ataru yelled.

"**BECAUSE I DON'T WANT EMI TO WIND UP WITH SOMEONE LIKE ME, DAMMIT!**"

Silence flooded the hall, even Rei stopped his frantic attempts to reach the food. Benten got off Ataru's chest and offered a hand to help him up.

"Woah…I didn't know…sorry." Benten apologized

"Look, I know I was a really lousy guy back in the day, but the thing is, I was honest with my feelings." Ataru explained as he was helped up, only to be met with flat stares from everyone in the room.

"Err-….mostly honest, hehehehehehe…" Ataru then cleared his throat, the sudden slam knocked of his helmet, so he looked around for it. "You know how the rest of the guys acted around Lum back then right? I don't want Emi to get involved with those kinds of creeps. I put Lum through a lot of crap, and I don't want Emi to go through that." Once he found the helmet he affixed it back to his head.

"I want Emi to find someone that will make her truly happy…and hell, you know what they say if you don't learn from the past, you're doomed to repeat it…"

Benten now felt horrible, Ataru's reason had been somewhat legitimate but still...

"That's still not a good enough reason to forbid her from entering the races!" Benten protested quite heatedly.

"Benten, try to see this from Ataru's point of view…" Oyuki tried to pacify her friend, but without much luck. Ran merely kept smiling, secretly enjoying the scuffle, while Remy kept some distance from Benten and Ataru, before things got any worse.

"Dammit, Moroboshi! What're the odds that we'll cross another galactic class moron **LIKE YOU! ?**" Benten yelled, it was just then that a huge bright red mecha came crashing from the roof, landing squarely on top of Rei who was about to gorge himself on the buffet, but was denied by the heavy walking tank that landed on him and knocked out consequently. The servants ran in panic to call the guards.

"R-REI!" Ran screamed.

"DAD!" Remy hollered.

"What the-?" Benten wondered

"Oh my…"Oyuki declared

"Isn't that…Jariten's mecha!" Ataru pointed

Before anyone could react any further the cockpit from the giant robot opened, revealing a young man, with ragged clothes, a red cape, spiky sunglasses and messy hair tied in a ponytail. If Ataru had to describe this teenager who suddenly burst through the roof, he could say he reminded him of a Kitsune.

"You're not Jariten." Ataru once again pointed, in response, the youth took off his glasses and as if on cue, 9 foxfires appeared and surrounded him, burning brightly. The unkown young man only said this:

"My name's Kamina and I am gonna kick your ass!" He then unsheathed his blades, a couple of mean looking laser blades to be precise.

"You wanna fight?" Benten instead of asking pointless questions she decided to have some fun instead and ease up some tension on the way. "BRING IT ON, I'LL TEACH YA WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YA MESS WITH ME OR MY FRIENDS!"

The youth merely grinned and barked.

"**Kon!**"

To be continued in

Chapter 6 "The Invincible Ken VS. The Indestructible Ataru, Who will win?"


	6. Invincible Ken VS Indestructible Ataru

Chapter 6

"The Invincible Ken VS. The Indestructible Ataru"

Once more, all the original Urusei Yatsua cast belong to Rumiko Takahashi. I only own the OCs.

Also TTGL is owned by GAINAX.

Enjoy if you will

Nu had gone offline from the shock of entering the Oni palace (fortunately for him, the shock of what was happening would've caused an irreparable error), as he started to reboot his systems went through the typical protocol routines to ensure his data was uncorrupted and that the robotic feline was functioning properly

…

Main RAM memory unit-ONLINE

Main ROM memory unit-ONLINE

Main processors-ONLINE

A.I. Personality core-ONLINE

O.N.I. Hard Drive-ONLINE

Anti-gravitational servos-ONLINE

Sub systems-ONLINE

Multi functional scanners-ONLINE

Optical/Audio sensors-…

…

…

ONLINE!

Nu finally fully activated to find that he had indeed managed to reach Lord Ataru's palace, but was horrified that Ken, (still under the effects of the juice) was about to fight not only Lord Ataru, but also Miss Benten, Lady Oyuki, Lady Ran, and Lord Remy (internally he would wonder what they were doing here, but he would later recall Lady Lum's birthday, but this was beyond the point). This was by far, the worst scenario that Nu could imagine.

_'T-This is bad. Lord Moroboshi might be an incredibly resilient individual, but Master Ken is nothing short of a monster!'_

Nu fired his scanners as the opponents squared off hoping to find a way to diffuse this situation

* * *

Subject: Remy Ushitora

Age: 16

Species: Tiger-ox Oni/Gaki Hybrid

Condition: FURIOUS

_Furious….? But why would he be…?_

* * *

Too soon Nu discovered the answer when he analyzed the prone form of a gigantic tiger-cow underneath Ten's stolen Mech tank.

* * *

Subject: Rei Ushitora

Age: 44

Species: Tiger-ox Oni

Condition: UNCONCIOUS/HUNGRY

_Ah …well, that explains that…_

* * *

Nu followed his subsequent scans…

Subject: Bensaiten A.K.A.: Benten

Age: 43

Species: Fukujin

Condition: INTENSE EXCITEMENT

_That…is not good…_

* * *

Subject: Ran Ushitora

Age: 43

Species: Gaki

Condition: ENRAGED

_L-lady Lum warned me about her vindictiveness, *gulp* and with what happened to Lord Rei…Oh dear_

* * *

Subject: Oyuki

Age: 43

Species: Neptunian snow woman

Condition: CALM

_No surprise there, now for the last two…_

* * *

Subject: Ataru Moroboshi

Age: 44

Species: Earth Human

Condition: CONFUSED

_Understandable, all things considered, and finally…_

* * *

Subject: Ken Aoki

Age: 16

Species: Earth Human [?]

Condition: DELUDED/CONFIDENT

Addendum: Acting poison is currently being purged by subject's natural defenses, estimated time of complete purification is 30 minutes

_Thirty minutes…and Lady Oyuki is the only one rational and collected enough to listen to reason, she can freeze Master Ken long enough for the poison to wear off! I need to be quick before Master Ken gives me another order!_

* * *

"Lady Oyuki!" Nu yelled at the top of his speakers to the one person who could stop all this madness, he hovered quickly in front of the Neptunian queen. Ken was too busy gauging his opponents to notice, and Ran was too busy arming a bazooka to be bothered. Remy had gone into a low crouch, ready to pounce on the guy who had flattened his father underneath a giant robot.

It was then that all hell broke loose. Ken would've paid more attention to what his 'little brother' was doing, but it was then that Remy charged at him and transformed, becoming an enormous tiger-ox and pinning the pony-tailed fighter to the floor, knocking both weapons off his arms in the process.

"BUMOOOOO!" The beast bellowed…

"All right, Remy! Crush him! Tear him apart! MWAHAHAHA" Ran cackled, still arming her bazooka as well as readying some grenades and various explosives

"Oe! Remy, leave something for me!" Came Benten's shout, while she swinged her chain ready to attack.

"Buki?" Came Remy's confused moo, as Ken started lifting him with his legs and with a powerful kick sent the huge tiger-ox flying towards the opposite wall, leaving a Tiger-ox sized hole in the opposite wall. Ken jumped back on his feet and cracked his knuckles. "Impressive trick, but you'll need more than brute strength to douse the fire of my SOUL!" Benten gave an appreciative whistle, she had her fair share of fights and knew that throwing off a Tiger-ox Oni was no easy feat. If anything she was really looking forward to this. However she wouldn't get the chance as Ran aimed her bazooka at the caped youth.

"First my husband and now my son? You won't get away with this, you bastard!" Ran yelled as she fired a missile to the newcomer. Nu did a quick scan of the missile and to his horror it had enough strength to endanger a normal human…good think that didn't apply to ANY of the present humans. Ken, against all logic and rational thought, grabbed the projectile and in a fluid motion he threw it away from him… over to where Ataru was standing.

***KABOOM***

* * *

"DOWAHHH!" Ataru was sent flying, and crashed face first on a nearby pillar in the mess hall. He promptly fell into a heap, but recovered instantly, years of all sorts of abuse and attacks giving him his legendary resistance. Nu was relieved that Lord Moroboshi was fairly uninjured, but time was short and he had to stop Ken before he could discover just how dangerous was the intoxicated youth was.

"Ah, if it isn't Emi-san's personal assistant." Oyuki exclaimed in a cool demeanor as she noticed Nu approached her.

"Nu? What the hell is going on here? Where's Emi? ? ?" Ataru yelled upon identifying the small robot, concern for his daughter taking all priority.

"Moroboshi-sama, I'll explain everything later, but first…" Nu faced over to Oyuki "Lady Oyuki, I need you to freeze Master Ken"

" Master Ken? I am certain he said his name was Kamina" Oyuki reasoned, completely missing the point.

"It's a long story… Right now, I beg of you, you need to immobilize him!" Nu pleaded.

"Aren't you overreacting? Benten is already kicking his…!" Ataru replied but was cut short as he saw that Benten wasn't the ass-kicker, rather the ass-kickee.

* * *

To say Benten was surprised was an understatement, after the caped rogue had caught a missile bare-handed and sent it flying, Moroboshi bound, she sprung into action attacking with her trademark chain. Ken used his arm to block the chain whip, as it rolled around the defending limb, trapping his arm. Benten still holding the chain proceeded to jump in a flying kick aimed at her opponents face. With lightning quick reflexes, Ken grabbed a length of the chain and caught her foot mid flight, tying it to the chain and sending her to the ground face-first. Benten shook off the impact and started to rise to her knees.

"* Ack* Not bad, boy. You got some talent, I'll give you that" Benten gave a playful smirk which Ken returned with a feral grin of his own. "And I'm only getting started." Ken boasted, just as the Fukujin woman used her free leg to try and sweep at the boy but he jumped over it. Both fighters battled in the close quarters that the chain that bound them afforded, Benten striking at the boy, purely on offensive, while Ken dodged and sidestepped. More often than not Ken would use the chain to block many of the Fukujin's attacks and move away from her more devastating blows, frustrating Benten.

"DAMMIT! Stand still so I can clobber ya!" Benten pointlessly yelled, as Ken continued to dodge. One straight corkscrew nearly managed to tag the younger fighter but instead, Ken used her momentum to grab her arm and swing her over his back to the floor. Benten stood back up and went at the youth with a left-right jab combination, Ken dodged the first few and twisted backwards to avoid a dangerous uppercut, placing his hands on the floor for support, he lifted himself, wrapping his legs on Benten's arm and then lifting the rest of his body to grab the lucky goddess's fist and quickly placed her in a painful armbar.

Ataru was shocked to say the least, Benten was by far one of the toughest women he knew, and here she was being made to look like an amateur! Nu knew better of course as his scanner confirmed what he just saw.

_Amazing! Master Ken didn't bother to match strength with Lady Benten, he just mostly countered and dodged and finished with a submission hold. Master Ken doesn't only rely on brute strength, there's a great degree of skill involved there as well_

The young man then twisted in the air, forcing Benten's body to follow in tow, lifting off the ground, and slam on the floor, falling into unconsciousness. Ken untangled himself from the older woman and took a fighting stance once more, his farther hand waving, inviting the next opponent to do battle.

Ran was more than a little worried, her plan was to have both fighters tire each other out then rain destruction on both in the form of the several grenades and bombs and exact revenge on the juvenile delinquent (Benten was an expendable sacrifice for the Gaki woman). But Benten barely managed to last a few minutes, and the boy wasn't even winded. She faced the youth and knew what she had to do…

"~Kyon, Little Ran is scared" She grabbed both her husband and son and fled the room at top speed All the while throwing the grenades at the pony-tailed brute. "Listen well, don't think I won't remember this. I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!"

Ken for his part jumped away from nearly all the blasts, except for one remaining grenade "Hi-yah!" which he gladly kicked back to it's retreating owner.

****KA-BLOIE**** Ran and company exploded, she fell in a crumpled heap,both tiger-cows falling right on top of her, pinning her down with their collective weight.

"Ugh….h-how did he…-?" Ran croaked, being crushed by the combined weights of two tiger-cows. The last of the Ushitora family fell unconscious.

"My my, you are quite an energetic young man, are you not?" Oyuki merely commented, the boy faced her with an all too confident smirk. "Heh, here I was hoping for an epic battle, I'm kinda disappointed." Ataru looked warily at the boy, not trusting what could he have up his sleeve. "Is this all you've got, Spiral King?" Ken pointed mockingly to Ataru, the latter instead scratched his head confusedly.

"Spiral king?" Ataru asked looking at Nu, he still didn't get what the hell was happening.

Nu looked apologetically. "It's a long story…" Before Ataru or Ken could act, the doors to the main hall burst open. Turning they saw what the commotion was all about. Legions upon legions of Oni soldiers flooded the hall followed behind by Mr. Invader himself, the former Oni Warlord. "All right everybody, freeze!" The large Oni bellowed in command to all offending parties. Ken grinned, cracking the joints in his body and limbering up. "Now THIS is what I'm talking about!" Ken exclaimed taking an offensive stance, ready to leap into the fray, however he wouldn't get the chance. "Ah! Mr. Invader, what're you doing here?" Ataru asked, for his part, his father-in-law bellowed "I WAS gonna teach ya a lesson for forgetting my daughter's birthday, Son-in-law, but looks like someone beat me to the punch." Invader then looked at the source of all this chaos, who just so happened to be cracking his joints confidently. "All right boy, you're outnumbered. We'll give you a chance to surrender peacefully." Ken had finished limbering up for Round 3 "Oh yeah, just make me!" Ken defied the large Oni, getting ready to rumble, however…

"You should listen to your elders, young man." Oyuki calmly stated, as the overall temperature of the room started to drop. Many of the solders started to feel the chill from the Neptunian queen's powers, Ken himself tried to shield himself from the weird attack. "What is this?" He demanded to know, Oyuki obliged "He told you to 'freeze'", and suddenly a blizzard blew through and encased Ken (as well as the entire legion of soldiers) in a block of ice. Oyuki walked up to the frozen teenager, admiring her handiwork. "Oh dear, I may have over done it." Oyuki stated somewhat embarrasedly. Mr. Invader scratched his head, a little disappointed that things ended so quickly before he could get a piece of the action. "Man, that's really cold of you, Oyuki-chan."

Nu breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness, now all we must do is wait for the poison to purge and we can thaw him out...

"Hold up a second! I want an explanation, what the hell was all this about, with this Kin or Kolima or whatever-his-name-is' here? Explain" Ataru demanded to know

"Umm…well, you see, Master Ken had some juice on the way here and…" Nu explained as nervously. Ataru then cut him off, realizing the juice he meant was **THAT** juice. "That's enough, I see now…But then what's another human doing all the way here?" Ataru couldn't help but wonder. "Ah well, Master Ken is here on behalf of your daughter, he has something important to tell you." Nu announced, he recalled that Emi wanted Ken to ask for help in her stead, since Nu served Emi directly, asking for help wouldn't be that different than if she was asking for help herself. Nu personally wished he could just blurt it out, but he was bound to follow Emi's orders first and foremost.

"WHAT? From Emi? Don't tell me this guy is her newest boyfriend?" Ataru panicked, his paternal instincts kicking in in full throttle. "Umm…no, but let us wait a few minutes and Master Ken will-" Nu cut off as his scanners picked up an increase in temperature…coming from where Ken was frozen! "Oh no!" Nu looked as his suspicions were confirmed: Nine ethereal flames had surrounded the block of ice that kept Ken imprisoned. The foxfire, Ken's own power, was melting the ice!

* * *

_Detecting exponential temperature increase._

_Subject: Ken will thaw out in 5…4…3…2…1…_

* * *

"K-k-KoooooOOOOOOOOOON!"

In a matter of seconds Ken burst out of the frozen prison in a burst of heat, enveloped in the Ki flames. "Kyah!" Oyuki was knocked back by the heat wave, not expecting the sudden blast. "S-so hot" Oyuki was visibly weakened, by the heat.

_I-Impossible! Ken used his ki to generate enough heat to weaken Lady Oyuki's ice prison surrounding him, he the burst out with his own power! Is…is he **invincible**?_

The foxfire then moved and hovered over to the Oni soldiers, melting them out of their prisons, all looking disoriented, confused…and just a touch frostbitten.

"Ha-ha-AHCHOO! W-w-we're f-f-f-free?" One of the shivering soldiers asked.

"Hmph! Impressive, I gotta say 'Ice queen'. But your blizzard is no match for my blazing SOUL! KAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Ken boasted, some of the foxfire surrounding him.

"My my, I didn't expect this young man to be so tenacious" Oyuki noted, recovering quickly from the heat and using her own cold aura to counter it. "It seems, Nu-san, I cannot help you contain this young man. I may be losing my touch, a pity" she apologized.

"Hmph!" Mr. Invader stepped up to face the youth, "You're a real piece of work kid, but you'll pay for underestimating the might of the Oni guard, EVERYONE TAKE HIM DOWN, NOW!" As the old Oni bellowed Ken was subsequently tackled by all the guards and buried under a veritable dog-errr… Oni-pile of over thirty guards.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA, no matter how tough you are, you can't beat numbers, kid!" The Oni warlord celebrated, a little too soon as the pile started to shift.

"I-Impossible…" Mr. Invader couldn't believe his own eyes, but the whole pile of guards blinked in confusion as they were all** lifted of the ground**. Nu analyzed this new situation with his scanners to discover yet another amazing trait of the extremely tenacious Ken.

_I was mistaken! I thought Ken only relied on skill and speed, but he has an abnormal amount of strength to go with it, first lifting a Tiger-ox Oni and now a pile of thirty people!_

The pile started shaking and from underneath the pile…

"Ultimate technique…"

**"BIG BANG PUNCH!"**

As Ken stood, fist in the air, all thirty people flew off in all directions from a powerful ki blast, many embedding in the walls and falling unconscious, others crashed all around, K. O. ed, One flew towards Invader's face and knocked him out in a single hit. As the blast had occurred, Ataru grabbed Oyuki and hid behind a pillar as the Guards flew off from the kinetic blast. Nu was understandably panicked…

_By the Tiger-stripped Unicorn constellation! If this keeps up, the whole palace will be demolished! There has got to be someway to stop him…but I don't have ANY significant data on humans, except…_

Nu shifted his gaze over to Ataru, who was hiding behind the pillar with Oyuki. The current Oni warlord trying to keep a serious air. While the remaining guards tried to rush at Ken and were easily knocked out one by one…

"This looks like something out of one of Emi's favorite Kung-fu flicks…" Ataru considered, he did remember that Emi was probably the galaxy's biggest martial arts fangirl, it did make sense why Emi would blindly trust the currently intoxicated young man.

"I must say, she has good taste, oh if only I was a few years younger." Oyuki sighed wistfully.

"Oyuki-sama, you can't be serious!" Ataru complained, what did this upstart, arrogant kid have that he didn't…

Nu continued to analyze Ataru, remembering that he did receive the full on blast of a stray missile.

* * *

Subject: Ataru Moroboshi

Condition: OK/SLIGHTLY JEALOUS

_Moroboshi-sama did not receive any damage from that missile! Perhaps…right! That's it!_

* * *

Nu immediately floated to where Moroboshi was. Ataru regarded the feline-themed robot bitterly.

"Nu, I hope you realize I'm blaming you for all this!" Ataru reprimanded

"I-I'm well aware that perhaps I should've kept a better surveillance on Master Ken, but that's beyond the point. Moroboshi-sama, you must fight Master Ken!" Nu exclaimed panicked, of course he was met with a flat stare of Ataru at the sheer **insanity, downright stupidity** of what the robot was suggesting.

"Are you insane? Look at that guy! He can catch missiles bare-handed, he can annihilate Benten in a fist fight, he can melt Oyuki's ice, and right now he just knocked out thirty of our entire guard **WITH A SINGLE PUNCH! **And you want me to fight him?" Ataru yelled, if anything, the Tomobiki's former letch prided himself in his self-preservation instincts.

"I see what you're thinking, Nu-san" Oyuki realized the plan hatching inside the robot's hard drive, and decided to explain to Ataru. "Ataru-san, consider that young man over there, Ken, as if he was the strongest blade in the universe." Ataru turned to see Ken, who was currently juggling five unfortunate guards in the air with his attacks. "Done" He could only say nervously.

"Well, the only thing that could stop the strongest blade in the universe, is the strongest armor in the universe" Oyuki finished, Nu nodding in agreement, she had perceived his plan perfectly. Ataru however was not convinced.

"Hey, I'm no fighter, I can't hope to beat this guy!" The elder Moroboshi reasoned against the suicidal plan.

"You don't need to defeat Master Ken, Moroboshi-sama! You just need to tire him out, and quick!" Nu didn't want to panic, far from it, but they were really running out of options (as well as out of guards).

"Ataru-san, if this keeps up, Lum-chan's surprise party will be completely ruined" Oyuki explained

"Yes! Exact-DON'T YOU THINK THE SITUATION'S A LITTLE MORE SERIOUS THAN THAT?" Nu blurted out, the Ice queen did tend to miss the point now and then.

Ataru gulped, this guy was not Mendou, he was not Jariten, he was definitely not the Gang of Four, hell, he could picture even Kotatsu-neko being beaten to a pulp by this kid…

* * *

"AHCHOO…" A giant ghost cat contemplating the skies in a quiet hill, sitting in his kotatsu, sneezed. Apparently someone was talking about him…

* * *

…But he didn't have a choice. Ataru shakily walked over to the center of the fray just in time to see the last of his faithful guards fly off towards one of the pillars, unconscious. Ken turned to regard the warlord, a confident smirk, followed by a feral grin. Yes, this guy looked every bit like a kitsune demon, a stark contrast against another fox he had met, one much more pure hearted.

"Tired of hiding? Good…It's time we end this." Ken took a stance, his aura burning brightly, just as eight of the foxfire floated around him…wait a moment, weren't there **nine** just a few seconds ago?

Instead of thinking about that, Ataru…tried to take a stance of his own, the crane stance on one foot, almost falling over in the process. "Are you gonna talk all day or are you gonna fight already?"

"Something we agree on, IKUZE!" Ken dashed at Ataru and let loose a barrage of punches, his fists blurring as they tried to hit Ataru. "W-What the-?" Ken blurted out in surprise.

Ken's fists were moving so quickly they looked to be hundreds of fists instead of the two, however…they could not connect! Ataru skillfully dodged and jumped away from each and every single blow, his legendary agility overcoming Ken's amazing speed.

"Let's try something else then…" Ken moved close to grab at Ataru's wrist and tried to put him on a painful hold…but instead he saw he was holding a large ceramic tanuki! "W-When did he…?" The young man couldn't understand when had the older man slipped out, if anything he was certain he was caught… He didn't even notice Ataru standing behind him with a mallet before it was too late.

"Take THIS!" Came Moroboshi's battle cry, as he brought down the mallet on top of the youth. "GYARGH!" Ken collapsed under the mallet's hit, as Ataru kept striking at the Kitsune-like boy.

* * *

Nu and Oyuki looked at the 'battle' from the sidelines. "As expected, Ataru is quite a resourceful fellow when the need arises." Came the Ice queen's praise,

Nu nodded in agreement. "Quite true, although…perhaps Lord Ataru is enjoying this a little too much…"

* * *

Ataru had gone into a berserk rage, cackling maniacally. "GYAHAHAHAHAHAHA, take this! And this! And this! And this! And this! And this! And this! GUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" He quickly finished, slightly winded as he examined his handiwork…a beaten and crushed…KITSUNE STATUE?

"Not bad, old man…" Ataru froze up, that voice came from behind him… "An interesting trick indeed, but childish tricks like that won't beat me!" Ken threw a punch over to where Ataru was, only for his intended target to slide under and for his punch to to break right into…

*SMASH*

…one of the pillars in the main hall (these were becoming the true victims of this whole situation). Ken found his fist embedded in the stone pillar, stuck. "Now, I'd rather not use this technique on you but you leave me no choice…" Ataru readied himself, as Ken started to frantically try to pry his arm free, but no, Ataru attacked…

…Sliding his finger along Ken's back, sending a shiver up his spine. The youth broke off a section of the pillar and slammed it on top of the Oni warlord. "BE SERIOUS, WILL YA?" Ataru laid there giggling like a moron as the pillar section crumbled off on top of him, Ken jumped back ,surprised and studied his opponent carefully..._ No damage, by all means he should be unconscious, but that barely made a scratch! At this rate…I'll be the one in trouble… _Ken gulped, sweating a little…

Ken started breathing a little heavily, Nu then noticed one of the Will o' wisps that kept floating around Ken extinguish all of a sudden, leaving a total of seven foxfire surrounding the teenage fighter…

_Those flames! They represent how much energy Master Ken has left! If Ken forces himself too much, one by one those flames will disappear, and hopefully he'll be too tired to continue fighting!_

Nu checked on Ken's condition once more, his scanners predicting the poison to be purged in ten minutes, if anything the poison had to have weakened considerably…

It was then that Ken noticed that Ataru disappeared…again! "Huh? Where'd he go?" Ken looked everywhere for his opponent, but he had essentially disappeared. Suddenly a **huge, iron bell **fell on top of him.

"GUAH! It's dark! It's cramped! It's scary!" Ken yelled from inside the bell. Ataru cackled at the unfortunate Ken. "GYAHAHAHA, didn't think THIS would work on ya, boy!" Suddenly Ken's fist shot out punching a hole on the bell and barely an inch from Ataru's face.

"Dude, seriously, What kind of wimp is afraid of the dark! ?" In an instant, holes where punched all over the iron bell and then exploded. Unfortunately for Ataru, Ken didn't share the same phobias his rival had; it was worth a shot though. Ken dropped on one knee, apparently, all that workout was finally catching up to the young man.

Ataru then cackled and pointed at the boy, "GUAHAHAHA, is that all you've got left? Just a couple of _'Street Fighter'_ moves and you're all tired out?" Ataru then posed off in a serious and mature manner. "The foolishness of youth will always fall against the experience of age…" it lasted all of 2 seconds before he broke into a cackle once more. Ken on the other hand was clutching his head. _Argh!...Wait, that he just said…Street Fighter…?_

Ken then smirked as he took another stance, placing his body sideways, his hands as if he was clutching a ball. "Desperation technique…" His hands started glowing, and a ball of energy started forming between his hands as he clutched it to one side of his body.

Ataru blinked a couple of times, he did remember playing the fighting he had just mentioned a few times game in arcades, specially when his girl-hunts ended in complete busts (which was often) and he didn't feel like dealing with his then-self-proclaimed wife, but was this guy really going to…?

On Ken's behalf, he had always liked video games, specially the fighting genre, he would even draw inspiration from them for some of his own attacks...

In a fluid motion, Ken thrust both his hands in Ataru's direction, the energy ball shooting off towards him. The moment the sphere came within range…

"SUPERNOVA"

…it suddenly **exploded!**

***BOOOM***

"DUWAHHHH!" Ataru was sent flying towards the one wall that had somehow survived any damage…that is till now, when Ataru left an Ataru-sized imprint on it. Ataru slid off to the ground in a crumpled heap, as sturdy as he was, he had to admit, that one **stung**! The properly nicknamed 'Indestructible cockroach' stood up, somewhat tired but mostly uninjured; the youth, who had come to bear the title of 'Invincible demon-fox' was winded but still looked ready to fight, the total foxfire hovering around him had gone down to mere three flames, that last attack was something impressive indeed but it took it's toll on the youth.

"Ready *huff* to give up *puff* yet, *wheeze* kid?" Ataru challenged

"Not *huff* on your lifetime *gasp*, old man!" Ken boasted.

Both contenders were nearing their limits, however they still had **one** trick up their sleeves, neither liked the prospect of relying on such a **dirty, dishonorable, fiendish and downright cruel** tactic, but they had no choice. Both fighters (though one technically wasn't) circled each other, their hands going for their respective pockets to retrieve something. Ataru pulled out a roll of paper, a poster or something. Ken took out a small device, about the size of his palm, and flipped it open, deftly pressing some buttons. Both finally stopped, the tension was thick in the air; Nu would've been nearly overheating in nervous jitters if Oyuki's chilling aura wasn't keeping all his systems cool. Benten had recovered consciousness and was watching the fight intently, as well as Ran, her husband and son who were munching idly on a couple of bowls of popcorn, even Mr. Invader watched as the fight neared it's inevitable climax. Ken and Ataru faced each other, Ken being the first to speak,"Old man, I really enjoyed this fight, but please, don't bear ill will towards me for what I'm about to do…" Ataru nodded sagely "Same to you, kid, don't hate me for what will come next…" They both went to a low crouch, and suddenly both burst in a split second charging at each other! When they finally neared one another, they let loose **their secret weapons!**

"FINAL ATTACK!" Both screamed in unison.

Ken swung the device, shoving its' screen at Ataru's face, while Ataru unraveled the poster right in front of Ken.

**"CHERRY BOMB!"**

**Instantly at point blank Ataru faced Cherry's ugly mug on the screen of Ken's cellphone, while Ken himself could only see a fullsized poster of the same decrepit monk in his face!**

The reaction was instantaneous.

**"MY EYES ! ! ! ! !" **Both screamed in agony, blasted back and clutching the poor ocular organs.

To everyone, as they all agreed, it was the most stupid conclusion to this fight…A tie, in the most inane of ways possible.

* * *

"DAMMIT, OLD MAN! WHO THE HELL CARRIES A POSTER OF THAT CREEPY OLD MONK AROUND WITH HIM ! ? ! ? THAT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL! ! ! ! !" Ken yelled, still covering one of his eyes, a stream of tears running down his face.

"I COULD SAY THE SAME TO YOU, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT THING YOU SHOVED IN FRONT OF ME WAS, BUT IF IT HAS CHERRY'S FACE, THEN IT SHOULD BE OUTLAWED! ! ! ! !" Ataru yelled back, both eyes bloodshot, tears also streaming down his face.

"DUDE! I HAD A TEENY, TINY LITTLE PIC OF CHERRY, YOU SHOVED A FREAKING LIFE-SIZED POSTER AT ME! ! ! THERE'S NO COMPARISON, YA FREAKING MORON!"

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT OUTTA YOU, YA FREAKING KITSUNE!"

"**I AM NOT A KITSUNE**"

Nu hovered over to Ken and analyzed him, apparently the shock of whatever he saw knocked him back to his senses.

"Master Ken?" Nu tentatively addressed the irate, youth.

"Huh? Whaddya want Nu?" Ken answered, it was then he blinked in confusion and took a look at his surroundings. He was in what seemed to be a palace hall…right after a meteor crash landed on it! He saw a giant, red mecha in one corner of the hall (_Cool!_) standing on top of some rubble, he saw over fifty unconscious Onis lying on the floor, and giant, old one looking in shock, Ken also noticed a regal, and demure older woman standing near a pillar with bluish white hair (_Huh, she's got the whole quiet and demure personality going for her, nice!_), another older lady, slightly bruised and battered wearing a chainmail bikini, one of her legs wrapped in a chain (_WHOA! That lady has the whole rebel vibe going on, I like!_) And another woman in a much more conservative dress, who looked about to kill him (_Yikes! I do NOT go for the psycho types…_) surrounded by a couple of…what Ken could only described as cows that picked a fight with a couple of cans of orange and black paint…and lost

"Umm…Where am I?" Ken finally asked, if anything from that day on, he would stay away from juice.

To be continued…

* * *

A/N: I figured I could explain a little about Ken, while he is an avid fighter, he enjoys his downtime by playing videogames, specially the fighting genre ones, since he doesn't always win on these ones. This has of course inspired a great number of his techniques, in this case he took a bit of a note from the Street fighter, since this is one of the oldest franchises, it is one that Ataru is bound to know about, and trigger a memory in Ken's poisoned state. The final attack though, it seemed like something both of them would try...*shudder*

I plan to upload some of the designs of the cast soon so keep an eye out for those. Maybe on deviantArt or something...

Thanks for reading and please keep reviewing!

Next chapter: "Emi's situation, and meeting the Kitsune Nine!"


	7. Emi's situation

Chapter 7

"Emi's situation"

All original cast and elements of Urusei Yatsura belong to Rumiko Takahashi The OCs are mine though.

Also remember that BIG OC warning in chapter 1? Yeah, it's bigger in this chapter. If you guys need a bit of a character guide, let me know.

Enjoy if you will.

* * *

"My Emi is in a WHAT! ? ! ?" Ataru yelled.

Everyone had reunited on one of the surviving tables (actually the least destroyed one) to hear what Emi had sent Ken to do, of course with the same tact as a bulldozer, he went straight to the point.

"I said a pirate ship, you deaf old man…or wait, should I call it a 'Space pirate' ship?" Ken asked Nu, finally healed completely, though still confused on what in the world happened after he drank the juice.

Once the fighter had restored to his senses he felt his body had been through what must've been an epic battle, further proof was that someone actually managed to bring him down to a mere three foxfires. Being a martial artist (or a former one at the least) he was well aware that some fighters could continue fighting under influence of some substances like alcohol (which actually coined the "drunken fist"), but Ken had never though he'd experience something like that first-hand until Nu gave a brief explanation. Of course, the young fighter was still sour for his …'rude' awakening.

"Master Ken, please focus…" Nu chided, at least somewhat relieved they managed to get to deliver the message quickly, and that they would finally start with the preparations to rescue his mistress.

"Huh? Oh! Right right…So long story short: Emi is hiding in a pirate ship, sent me to ask you for help rescuing the abductees, end of story…" Ken finished quickly; taking a glass of what he (hopefully) thought was water, and downing it in a quick gulp.

"But then why wouldn't my grand-daughter come and ask for help herself?" Mr. Invader had asked, Ken was somewhat surprised about the inmense Oni, who had an intimidating air around him, but he waved it off with a quick though of 'I can beat him'.

"Dunno, though I think she has some 'father' issues…" Ken grinned, pointing accusingly to Ataru. He was of course quick to explain.

"She sent me so she wouldn't have to ask you, dunno what you did, old dude, but you messed up big time." Ken leaned back. Everyone then glared at Ataru, in a way, this was his fault.

"My my…" Oyuki was the first to speak. "We should find and rescue Emi-chan quickly…"

"Hey yeah…" Benten stood up, pumping her fist in the air. "Let's round the troops! Nu can track her down."

"Yes, my scanner reads that Moroboshi-hime is in a distant quadrant, on the orbit of the ocean planet of Hydros 7" Nu clarified, hoping that his mistress was still well.

"~Little Ran is scaaaaaaared~" Ran cutely whimpered, but it was then that Remy transformed into his humanoid form, and took the word. "Lord Moroboshi! Please let me participate in Emi's rescue!" Pleaded the handsome Oni.

"All right it's decided…" Mr. Invader bellowed "…We'll send the best of the best of the Oni army, THEY WILL RUE THE DAY THEY MESSED WITH US!"

"All right! We'll send all of our forces to rescue Emi immediately!" Ataru ordered triumphantly, everyone cheered, save for one voice that cut through the cheering like a sharp katana blade through a watermelon.

"Sure, that's a great plan…if you wanna get Emi killed…kon"

That voice was Ken.

"WHAT ! ?" Ataru yelled once more.

"Is that a threat! ?" Mr. Invader stood up fearsomely , Ken merely scoffed. "Listen up before you try to stomp me, gramps."

"Why you-!" The Invader Oni growled at the boy, whether this had affected Ken or not, no one could not tell.

"Way I see it…" Ken stood and started circling the (slightly destroyed) table. "…chances are they haven't found Emi yet, cuz I take it she's someone important…" Ken glanced at Nu, with a knowing smirk…

* * *

_"I am Moroboshi-hime's personal assistant, my name is Nu. But besides that..."_

_"Yes, I believe that is the wisest choice, Moroboshi-hime."_

_"Moroboshi-hime, I second that query."_

* * *

"…I was wondering how come aliens know **Japanese**…but I take even here the honorific 'hime' still means what I think it means, right?" Arms crossed, the fox-like Ken grinned mischievously, "There was also that whole talk about 'daddy's forces', so I figured you were someone important, Mr. M. You guys readying an army just confirmed it" He pointed at Ataru, who nervously adjusted his horned-helmet. "Get to the point, kid!" Ataru impatiently demanded.

"Ransom" With a single word the whole room understood.

"Ah! I see, if they knew that Moroboshi-hime was currently in hiding in their ship, they would've already tried to ask for ransom." Nu confirmed Ken's line of thought.

Ken nodded. "Yup, if this is the first you guys hear about Emi, then they don't know that she's a stowaway yet. These pirates wouldn't risk harming Emi, if they do, they probably know you guys would drop on 'em like a hammer. So her life isn't in any immediate danger. Also they got a bunch of hostages in there, they really can't risk losing all of them."

"So what! ?" Benten yelled at the guy, it was bad enough that he mopped the floor with her while he was delusional, but she didn't take kindly to hearing an arrogant little kid, less than half her age, give the whole, 'your plan sucks' speech. "We just show up, guns a-blazing and-"

"-And they'd probably run away, or probably self-destructing the ship and anything or anyone in it in the process." Ken cut her off, in that instant. Benten sputtered, tried to come up with a reason why Ken was wrong, but came up empty and sat down. Nu for his part praised the fighter. "I-Impressive, you have a keen mind, Master Ken."

Ken boisterously laughed. "Dude, I played enough Metroid as a kid to know how these things work." The cryptic response earned a few confused glances from everyone in the room…except Ataru who properly face-planted at the inane reference. "Sounds like you may have a plan, right Ken-san?" Oyuki asked pointedly to the fiery youth.

"Actually yeah, kon! You'll still need something as strong as an army inside that ship while you're distracting them outside…"

"Then we're back to square one, you moron" Ataru complained but was silenced as Ken raised his hand to attention.

"…so while you guys keep them busy outside, on the inside I suggest you send a one-man-army…"

Ken grinned "…you know, someone like me to cause some chaos and defeat them in the middle of the confusion. Then when we beat their boss, and I can rescue Emi…oh and all the abductees" Everyone chattered as Ken sat again and leaned back as everyone discussed. Ataru didn't like to admit it, but Ken was right. He instantly remembered how he had been kidnapped during the whole 'Elle' incident, their enemies distracted the main forces of the Oni 'protecting' him while they infiltrated someone to steal him away. Maybe they could use the same strategy as well…

"Why should we send you of all people! ?" Remy questioned, he wouldn't let this earthling steal his chance to win Emi's heart.

Ken stood up and cracked his knuckles. "I'm a little tired, but perhaps a demonstration will-"

**"NO! ! ! ! ! ! !" **Before he could finish, Ken was cut off by everyone in the room, including the semi-conscious guards, as they all screamed in unison. Ken raised his hands defensively and took a seat again, a confused look in his face.

Ataru was left with little other choice. "All right, Aoki. We'll depend on you to save Emi."

"Who said I was going to?" Ken answered nonchalantly.

The table fell to silence; everyone stared at the youth, confused. Ataru spoke, voicing what was in everyone's minds.

"But you just said-"

"That you needed someone like me, but I never said I was gonna do it…for free." Realization dawned on everyone, nearly all seething with anger (in Oyuki's case, she looked at the youth appraisingly), everyone itching to give the arrogant little bastard a piece of their minds!

" I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU!" Nu lead the charge "YOU SELFISH SCOUNDREL, DO YOU NOT CARE AT ALL ABOUT MISS EMI! ?"

"I do care about her." Ken deadpanned.

"You could've fooled me, you KITSUNE YOUKAI!" Ataru followed up, enraged.

"Not a kitsune" Ken lazily countered.

"You call yourself a martial artist! ? Don't ya have any honor! ?" Benten still would not admit defeat against the earthling youth.

Ken grinned malevolently. "Actually, that's just it: I'm NOT a martial artist, and I don't give a fox's tail about honor or any of that crap, kon!"

"Don't get me wrong! I wanna help rescue Emi, and I do have a score to settle with these guys for abducting me. But I'm not gonna risk my neck unless I get something in return…"Ken said passing his hand through his hair.

Everyone looked in shock at the youth, but he continued on "I'll gladly help as long as you guys make it worth my time. KAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Everyone in the room glared daggers at the youth as he laughed, but Ataru knew, as despicable as this guy could be…He was still his best bet to save Emi…gods help him.

"F-fine"

"Moroboshi!" Benten stared in shock at Ataru, but the older man raised his voice.

"Emi is…she is too precious to me…She means everything to me and Lum…both our girls…"

Ken considered what he just heard but kept attention to the unfolding scene.

"I'll pay whatever you ask…" Ataru finished taking a seat. Ken grinned even wider.

"Kon! Wise choice, Mr. M. But your alien money wouldn't be worth anything back on Earth, I'm guessing. And any alien gadgets would draw too much attention…" Everyone in the room turned to attention to the scheming pony-tailed fighter as he decided the terms. Ken sat cross-legged as he thought carefully, a serious expression in his face, he had managed to strike a blank check, all that was left was to set a suitable price…wait, maybe if…

Ken grinned, then he lowly started laughing," fufufufu…" then he outright cackled "KahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!". He took a stand and addressed everybody present. "I know exactly what I want: You'll round up ALL the most beautiful women in this planet, **and I will pick my future bride from the best one I choose! ! !"**

Everybody's eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets, the demand was the same sort of moronic stupidity that…

…

Slowly and carefully they all turned to Ataru, who had turned an **angry** shade of red, blood boiling, teeth bared. To everyone, even if the former Tomobiki lecher's old habits had been largely subdued, they knew that this sort of request, asking him to grant it to someone else, was the very antithesis of Ataru's being! But through gritted teeth he finally said: "Fiiiiiiiiiiiiine…." Though their fight had ended in stalemate, Ataru felt that he lost against the youth in the end. "R-Remy, you will escort…._Ken_ to rescue Emi and bring…them back safely…while we distract the pirates…understood?" Ataru seethed.

"Y-yes, Lord Moroboshi." The Oni saluted, and quickly dashed off to ready his own fighter-craft for the rescue mission

"Ken, rest for tonight, we'll need you in top condition." Oyuki said to the cunning fighter.

Ken grinned, "Well then I'll be seeing you all later. G'night." An Oni guard motioned to Ken, in order to guide him to his temporary quarters. As the fox-like youth left the room, Benten broke the silence.

"I can't believe it…"

"What? That we just somehow got played into that kid's hands?" Ataru bitterly asked

"No…" Benten kept staring at where she had seen the earthling teenager as he left. "I can't believe we actually found another galactic-class **moron** like you, Moroboshi…"

Ataru leveled a flat glare at Benten, but in truth he couldn't even argue this point…what was worse, if Ataru was in Ken's place…he probably would've done the same…

"No other way around it…" Mr. Invader stood up and placing an over-sized hand on Ataru's shoulder he gave him a proud smile. "For what it's worth Son-in-law, you did good. Even if you made a deal with that kitsune devil, you did it for Emi's sake…"

Ataru looked back at the inmense Oni. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure Son-in-law, what do you want?" Mr. Invader asked, happy to oblige.

"Please don't let Lum ever find out about this…"

"…"

"…"

"Sure, we won't let her know…"

Ran, who had been quiet the entire time, finally spoke up. "I wonder if there's a way to get Lum to zap that little bastard…"

* * *

Meanwhile on Earth, specifically in Usagi Miyake's house…

The air was tense, inside the living room was Usagi and her family, Shinobu who was serving tea and Inaba, absentmindedly munching on a carrot, wearing an outfit more typical of your common salary-man, instead of his trademark frumpy bunny outfit; but also the old Gang of Four had arrived, Perm, Kakugari, Chibi, and Megane, this last one pacing impatiently across the room, followed by Bantarou's gang, Souta, Natsu, Minoru and Bantarou himself who were curious as to what became of their arch nemesis. And in the middle seat of the room was Cherry who was eating all the snacks laid on the table.

"What's taking them so long?" Asked Megane, impatiently pacing back and forth threatening to make a hole in the ground.

"I'm sure the little fox will be here soon. I can barely believe that I'll see him again after all these years…" Shinobu sighed wistfully, while she poured tea for all her guests, giving one cup to Minoru as she said this.

"Thank you, Miyake-san" Minoru meekly thanked the beverage. Out of everyone in Bantarou's gang he was seen as a sort of otaku, a geek in any case. He was the brain to Souta's brawn and would come up with several plans to bring Kitsune down, though they all failed and went down in smoke.

"ASTRAL FINISH!" Came the yell from the TV screen as Natsu and Souta played with Usagi's PS3. Though in reality, it belonged to Ken as well as most of the games in her house, but given that he couldn't really afford a proper television set, he loaned the videogame console to Usagi, who learned to enjoy playing against (and beating) Kitsune on all the games he had, most of these fighting games. Ken really couldn't afford any of the newer consoles, even this one was a second-hand purchase, but he still managed to save up enough for it. Natsu celebrated as his character executed his finishing move, his opponent falling to unconciousness. Souta glared at his friend.

"I want a rematch!" Souta, the larger and broader teen challenged, seething angrily at having lost against his fellow classmate.

"Ok, Souta, but let's change games…" Natsu, the fiery, spiky haired teen, had accepted the challenge. If anything Natsu was one of the gang that was on friendlier terms with Ken. Often they would often meet in Usagi's house to play some of the games or to have three person tournaments. Natsu scoured through Ken's portly collection...

"Hmm…King of Fighters, SF4, Marvel vs Capcom, Yakuza 4, wait…Little Big Planet! ?" Natsu exclaimed shocked at finding the, admittedly more childish selection amongst Ken's games.

"Ah, that one's mine." Usagi interjected, picking up the Blu-ray case and taking the disk out. "Ken has so many fighting games and beat-em-ups, I was hoping to get him to play something different with me for a change."

Natsu and Souta stared at Usagi as she embarrassedly scratched the back of her head, they both shrugged and picked the controllers. "Pop it in, Usagi-san. Might as well play something different…" Souta decided in the end. "Maybe then I can beat this guy…" he added glaring at his classmate.

Bantarou gritted his teeth, all this waiting around was getting to him. On one side the grown ups were (mostly) waiting patiently and chatting amongst themselves while the rest were watching virtual characters jump around in the TV. He finally decided to get everyone's attention. "I don't get what we need to discuss! Kitsune is gone, everyone is happy, end of story!"

"Boss, it's not that easy…" Minoru said after sipping his tea, then he looked seriously at his boss. "Like it or not, we need Kitsune on our side, if word spreads that he's MIA, it's just a matter of time before the other gangs start trying to get Tomobiki High as their territory."

"He's a necessary evil, I agree" Megane spoke stopping his pacing for a moment. "But that is why I came with the brilliant plan of using Hikaru's ability to transform to impersonate Ken. All I had to tell him was that he would get marked absent if he didn't show up for school GUAHAHAHA…" Everyone in the room leveled a flat stare at the cackling teacher. Megane had the good taste to promptly shut up. "HAHAhaha…errr…*cough* Be it as it may, a new piece of information was revealed today by Cherry"

"The monk who saw an alien take Kitsune?" Asked Souta, all the while trying to keep his little sackboy from perishing and trying to keep up with Natsu. "You guys don't really believe the whole alien stuff, do ya?"

"Aliens are very real, Souta-san." The Miyake matriarch answered, Natsu had to pause the game, earning a very angry 'Hey!' from his companion. "No offense, Miyake-san, but really, aliens?"

"Actually there's an alien right now in this very room." Shinobu replied, referring in actuality to her husband who good-naturedly smiled. All the younger folks looked at each other before Bantarou would comment. "I didn't want to say anything, but I always had my suspicions..." Inaba was taken aback, he honestly didn't expect to stand out that much.

"It's true, it's not really easy to ignore the signs…"Minoru followed, considering carefully. Inaba meekly thought _S-signs, was I that obvious?_

"I KNEW IT, HAHA! I told you he had to be an alien." Souta cheered, now Inaba was really starting to get nervous. He did had a bit of a habit of being somewhat bumbling…but to be this obvious?

"Guys, seriously the man is still in the room!" Natsu reprimanded his cohorts, Inaba was about to say it was fine until…"I mean really guys, even if it's Cherry we're talking about!"

Everyone over forty in the room face-faulted, though to be fair they could not blame the children from making that mistake. Inaba recovered and decided to set the record straight. "Umm…actually, they mean me. I'm an alien…of sorts."

…

"EH! ? ! ? ! ? ! ?" All four exclaimed, Minoru did a spit-take instead. "Y-you mean…**I'M HALF ALIEN! ? ! ?" **Usagi yelled, not really believing her ears. Shinobu blushed and embarrassedly laughed all the while trying to calm her daughter. "Well, actually, your father is from a fourth-dimension world…I think, right?" She looked at her husband for confirmation, Inaba nodded. "You never know when or where you'll meet the love of your life, HAHAHAHAHA." Inaba good-naturedly laughed. Bantarou immediately stood up from his seat and took a good long look…first at Inaba…then at Cherry…then again at Inaba…and once more at Cherry.

"Are you guys sure THIS one isn't an alien?" Bantarou asked, dead serious, pointing at Cherry, who merely gave the youth a flat stare.

"We're not really sure WHAT he is…" came the collective answer from all the Earth adults.

It was about then they all heard a knock on the door leading to the backyard, Shinobu turned to see a familiar little fox followed close by seven other foxes, somewhat taller than the little Hikaru. Shinobu promptly opened and greeted them. "It's good to see you again Kitsu- uhmm, Hikaru-kun"

The little fox blushed upon meeting his first crush once again, and twiddled his fingers embarrassedly until he was slapped in the back by another fox, making Hikaru stumble a bit, this one taller and with a much more extroverted personality, a curious detail was that he had two tails instead of one, she also noticed a Kansai accent, much like Ken's. "So this is the famous Shinobu, eh Hikaru-chan? Gotta say you got good taste, my friend! Hahahahaha" The twin tailed fox joked openly, only earning the smaller fox a deeper blush, this one of embarrassment. It was about then another, slightly taller vixen, one with four tails, bonked the earlier jokester with a frying pan. "Yoshi! Quit teasing little Hikaru-chan!" she chided.

"Sorry about that, Hina-sempai" Yoshi rubbed the bump that had formed because of the frying pan, while Hikaru gave a quiet 'Thank you' to Hina. Another vixen walked in unashamedly, all the while tapping buttons on a cellphone. "Right! I just texted Ryou-sempai that we're in a place called Tomobiki."

She proclaimed, quite happy with herself. Another fox, this one wearing a white bandanna and bearing five tails entered and reprimanded the three tailed fox. "Be more respectful, Hoshi-san. We are entering the house of some of Kenichi-dono's and Hikaru-kun's friends, greet them properly." He then turned to the other foxes. "That goes for all of you." He said in a no-nonsense type of voice.

All the foxes bowed and politely chanted. _"Pardon our intrusion. Thank you for receiving us!"_

Everyone stared as the parade of foxes entered the living room, each one with an increasing number of tails, except for the last one who looked like a much refined vixen, but with nine tails. Shinobu noticed that there were only eight foxes in total, apparently there was a missing eight-tailed fox.

"Hikaru-san, are these your…sempais?" Shinobu asked, quite surprised to see a collection of true kitsune in her living room as the all stood around watching the house. Hikaru scratched the back of his head in a cute manner "Y-yes, they are my sempais. Thank you for receiving us." The pure-hearted fox quickly bowed.

"Umm…please take a seat…" Shinobu sweat-dropped, the former Stormtroopers looked at the kitsune somewhat surprised, but when they considered that it was these same foxes that helped raise Ken, it made a weird sort of sense.

"Hikaru-san, could you introduce us?" Megane asked, if anything the teacher would take the chance for the closest thing he could get of a teacher-parent conference with Ken's guardians…or as close as they could find.

"Oh sure!" The little fox went pointed at the foxes and introduced them one by one. "These are my sempais: Yoshi..."

"Nice to meet you all!" Exclaimed the friendly, twin tailed kitsune.

"…Over here is Hoshi…"

"Hey, Hikaru-chan? Do you remember if Ryou-sempai knows how to use e-mail or not? Nevermind, I'll call him later…" The three-tailed vixen waved off, fiddling with her cellphone.

"…This is Hina…"

"It's an honor to meet you, I'd like to thank you for taking care of Kenichi-dono." The respectful, four-tailed vixen bowed, if anything she seemed like the den mother of the group.

"…This is Yasu…"

A five-tailed fox merely nodded at the group.

"…This is…Huh? Where's Taichi-sempai?" The little fox noticed a hole in the alignments of kitsune. "Hey, where did Cherry go?" Souta pointed at the empty seat, Shinobu and the Gang of four instantly knew where the depraved monk had gone. They checked the kitchen and just as they had predicted, Cherry was there…fighting with a rather rotund fox with six tails for the food they had encountered.

"The round fox is Taichi, the one fighting with that monk over the ham." A rather thin fox, one with a mischievous glint in his eyes spoke, and bearing seven tails. "Name's Nobu, by the way."

"And finally this is Chika-sempai" Hikaru pointed at the elegant, nine tailed-kitsune.

"Hohohohoho…My my, Hikaru-chan, you and Ken-chan have quite a collection of friends all the way here in Kantō." The vixen gave an airy laugh. Everyone bowed and and introduced themselves to what was essentially a part of Ken's family.

"Say, not that I mean to pry but…" Kakugari spoke after counting the assembled foxes. "Aren't you guys missing one of you?"

Shinobu nodded, if the number of tails was any indication, there was one kitsune missing.

"Ah that would be Ryou-sempai." The little fox answered. "He's with Ken-chan's parents, who are looking for him in Okinawa" Chika added to the explanation.

"O-OKINAWA! ?" Everyone exclaimed, the four teachers realized that Hikaru wasn't kidding when he said they were looking all over Japan.

"Regardless…" Megane addressed everyone in the room, animal and human alike as he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "We were going to discuss what plans you kitsune had in order to find Kitsu-err.. I mean Aoki-san. I'm certain Hikaru talked to you about the situation"

Chika sagely nodded "Yes and honestly…" Everyone expected the answer from the leader of the kitsune.

"We have no clue what to do" She shrugged

It was a good thing Shinobu was a dedicated housewife, the floor they kept face-faulting on was quite clean. Bantarou recovered and yelled at the whole group. "Are you kidding me, then seriously what was the point of you guys coming all the way over here?" The nine kitsune, as one twiddled their thumbs, embarrassedly said "We were hoping YOU guys had any ideas." They all answered in unison.

Minoru recovered next. "If only we had access to some sort of satellite or something, but what person would believe an insane story about aliens?"

It was true, to some extent, the Japanese government had erased all traces of extraterrestrial activity once Ataru fled the planet, and maintained as little news of the event from reaching the other countries with the only exception of the first Tag race. It was quite certain that the proper authorities wouldn't help…but suddenly in a flash of brilliance, an idea struck Shinobu. Yes, HE could help!

"I have an idea!" Shinobu declared happily, everyone around the room looked curious at the Miyake matriarch, the kitsune looked hopeful, especially Hikaru, who knew he could count on Shinobu.

Shinobu immediately made way for the phone and after dialing a number she patiently waited.

…It was ringing…

…Someone picked up!

"Hello, Mendou-san?"

To be continued…

Next chapter: "Infiltration and the Mendou Intelligence Network "

* * *

A/N: PHEW! This one was tough to write, specially trying to introduce all the kitsune, but I hope you all like this new chapter. We'll finally learn what has been of the Mendous, so stay tuned for the next update.

Also I have nothing against Little Big Planet, just so you know.

Please read and review


	8. The Infiltrator

Chapter 8 "The Infiltrator"

All original cast and characters of Urusei Yatsura belong to Rumiko Takahashi. I own only the OCs

Enjoy if you will

* * *

"Mendou family state, Shuutarou Mendou speaking. May I ask who is calling?"

A man, with a regal air about him, wearing a refined designer business suit and carrying a katana with his family crest, an octopus, had picked up the phone in a stately room with a majestic view of acres of field, all belonging to the middle aged man. His hair was slicked back with a slight greying out around the base of his head. This man was of course, Shuutarou Mendou, the one many would've called Ataru's rival...if he didn't actively take insult about that and if he didn't have a personal army at his disposal to silence any who do call him that. The Mendou's kept their great economic power with the passage of time, and Shuutarou himself had invested wisely to ensure that his family would continue to be a wealthy one. Yes, one could certainly call Shuutarou Mendou a successful man... however he had always one painful besmirch to his succesful record, the day the Oni princess had married the insufferable Ataru at long last, it was made even worse thanks to Ataru's decision to leave Earth, Mendou would not admit it, but Ataru was the closest thing he had to a best friend, even if most of the time they were at each others throats. Right now, Mendou casually wondered who was calling him today...

_"Hello, Mendou-san?"_

Only to be greeted by a familiar voice of his past.

"Shinobu-san! It's been ages since I've last heard of you!" This was true, when Ataru left Earth, many of the old gang drifted away. Mendou had heard that Shinobu had married and had a daughter, that the Gang of Four were teaching over in his old alma matter of Tomobiki High, that Cherry still scoured and raided people's fridges. Without the Oni princess or the Infamous letch, Tomobiki had quieted down...

"Oh hi, Mendou-san! How have you been in these years?"

"I cannot complain, though the economy has been in rough shape lately, the Mendou Conglomerate still stands strong. Hahahaha" The current head of the Mendou fortune jovially laughed.

"That's good to hear Mendou-san, but actually...I have a favor to ask of you..." Shinobu said, over the phone line, sounding...nervous.

"But of course, I will gladly help a dear friend from my youth! But I must ask, what is it that you need from me?"

"Yes...Umm..."

"Does your family still own a satellital surveillance system?" Shinobu asked uncertainly

"...Eh?"

* * *

A short time later...

"Now allow me to understand..." Mendou addressed the room, which had Shinobu and her family, Lum's former Stormtroopers, Cherry, and what was apparently a gang of wannabe-juvenile delinquents,all sitting on a rather large couch...not to mention the gaggle of foxes who curiously examined every inch and corner of the study quite amazed at seeing such an elegant and refined place for the first time in their lives.

"So...A young man named Ken Aoki-"

"Kenichi!" Came a collective correction from all the vulpine visitors in the room

"Err...yes, Kenichi Aoki, had been abducted by a UFO two days ago, am I correct?" Mendou synthesized the story

"If Cherry's witness account is to be believed then yes" Megane answered, adjusting his glasses.

"We were wondering if you could use any of your surveillance satellites to see if they got anything that could help us find him..." Shinobu pleaded, appealing to Mendou's chivalriousness.

"But of course we can!" Mendou snapped his fingers and instantly one of Mendou's personal guard delivered a laptop computer to his master. Mendou quickly sat down on his desk as behind him various panels (that the visitors had thought was a window) had flipped into a seamlessly large screen, which showed the Mendou family crest first and faded into a logo for the Mendou Conglomerate. "We had these installed after we invested in a small American research company, Overture Science or something like that..." He explained to all the amazed guests who merely gawked at the screen.

Mendou cleared his throat as the system initialized. "Ladies and gentlemen, and woodland creatures, I present to you the Mendou Intelligence Network!" The screen demostrated a 3D view of the Mendou Satellite Mk. 3, a logo of the M.I.N. appeared as the screen switched to a control panel with various readings on the current status of the satellite, recorded times of abnormalities recorded and a command window at the lower part of the screen, the main window kept the 3D view of the satellite, briefly rotating as it awaited commands.

"The Mendou Intelligence Network is a high grade satellite that allows us to not only monitor extraterrestrial activity, but also any activity back here on Earth. This includes any significant occurrence that might happen worldwide instantly." Mendou finished his overtly winded explanation of how his network worked, though most of the audience gave the typical 'ohs' and 'ahs', Minoru raised his hand questioningly. "How will this tell us what exactly happened to Ken? I doubt it got a good shot from up in space"

The billionaire man just smirked confidently. "That is why I'll connect to a street camera remotely." Mendou started to pace as he explained "You see, this satellite can not only take pictures of space and of Earth, but it can also connect to the Internet and connect to any public surveillance system. It can provide access to street surveillance cameras for example..."

Giving a few commands on the computer, the screen flashed showing the computerized interface for the satellite database. "Now all I have to do is enter the date, time and coordinates..." It wasn't long before an aerial scene of Tomobiki-cho appeared on the large screen behind Mendou, and flickered into a scene of a young man, running away from...

"A flying saucer!" All the teenagers, as well as all the kitsune gasped as one. Meanwhile Megane visibly deflated once he realized that spaceship was not Oni, but a different kind of spaceship all together. Usagi squinted her eyes, and instantly recognized Ken's trademark ponytail, it was true, that was Ken! "By the looks on your faces, It seems Cherry's story is true."

"Was there any doubt?" Cherry pointedly asked, merely to be met by the flat glares of everyone in the room, he blinked a couple times and poignantly sighed "...'tis fate..."

Mendou then noticed a warning message on his computer and promptly started typing some more commands. "Something wrong, Mendou?" Megane asked.

"It seems our sattellite had obtained some other significant footage but this time from around Earth's orbit..." The billionaire explained, as another screen showed up, this time one of an alien mother ship, ominously floating at a distance from Earth. Everyone stared at the video that was currently playing...when Minoru noticed something.

"Huh? What was that?" He asked. Everyone turned to him, Megane questioning the youth, with renewed hope "What was what?" He asked eagerly

"Didn't you guys see it? Rewind the video for a moment..." Mendou did so, also curious at what did the young boy see. After a few frames, Minoru spoke up again "THERE! Right there! Stop the video!"

Shuutaro stopped the video, and approached the screen of his laptop. The others could see on the larger screen a smaller, almost invisible yellow and black UFO, blasting out of the side of the larger space ship.

"Isn't there a way to amplify the image?" Natsu said, squinting to try to make out the shape of the unidentified, flying object. As Mendou did so, at first the image showed a bunch of undecipherable pixels, and quickly the image started smoothing over...once...twice...until the image became crystal clear. This time it was a tiger-striped spaceship blasting off the side of the larger ship. The teenagers stared at the image, tilting their heads. "A tiger-stripped UFO?" Bantarou asked the obvious. "That's a umm...interesting design." Souta added. "I suppose aliens have a lousy sense of style, right mom?" Usagi asked at her mother...only to see a haunting look on her face. Actually, all the adults had the same haunted look...Mendou stood up and turned towards the giant screen behind him, as if to make sure his eyes were seeing this correctly. The youths started to worry. The older folks started to stammer...

"Is that..."

"No way...it can't be..."

"I-I can't believe it!"

Megane stood, mouth agape, he grabbed his jaw and closed it shut, and as soon as he did this, his eyes watered. In a single instance he jumped towards the screen, landing flat on the image of the yellow and black UFO and he screamed from the bottom of his heart.

**"LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM-SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! ! ! ! !"**

* * *

A short while passed, and Megane was given some tea to help his system recover from the shock. The adults had now confirmed that at the very least, there was an Oni involved in all of this. Some of the older folks had decided to discuss the situation in a corner of the room while Megane and the children sat on the couch. Everyone discussed the next course of action.

Mendou kept a serious stare at the digital image of the flying saucer on screen. "At least now we know the Oni are involved, but we cannot say for certain that UFO belonged to Lum.." Shuutaro looked over at the rest of the adults, all nodding in agreement, Megane somewhat bitterly so. The younger crowd whispered amongst themselves. "Oni? As in 'In with good luck and out with the Oni' Oni?" Bantarou had asked, to him as well as to many in the world, this was the first they heard about 'Oni aliens'. "No way, it's gotta be a coincidence" Natsu commented but Minoru scratched his head unconvinced. "I don't know, maybe the Oni we hear in folk tales and legends are the same as the 'alien Oni'?" He suggested, everyone considering heavily.

Their elders kept a different discussion. "Is there any way to contact them?" Shinobu suggested, instantly the Gang of Four looked at Mendou expectantly. Megane nodding with excitement, as if to alter the answer by their friend.

"I'm afraid not..." Mendou bitterly answered "As advanced as we have come in the fields of telecommunications in recent years, to the point of reaching nearly anywhere on our world, we cannot transmit or receive any intergalactic signal as of yet." Everyone sighed dissapointedly, Megane even went as far as nearly deflating as he did so.

"However it's curious..."

"Huh...what is, Mendou?" Perm asked.

Mendou scratched his chin in contemplation..."Where have I heard the name Kenichi Aoki? I know it rings a bell..."

Bantarou's gang nearly fell over at hearing this, and inmediately started talking in a hushed tone amongst themselves. "Heard that?" Bantarou questioned to his loyal men, they all nodded. Minoru took word next. "To think that Usagi's mom is an acquaintance of the Mendou family..."

"And now Ken is apparently well known by these guys too..." Natsu added "I mean even if we don't count the aliens into all of this..."

"Ken is a real mysterious one, now that I think about it" Souta added his two cents to the conversation, this did not go unnoticed as seven of the eight foxes present stood ramrod straight and started sweating nervously, as if predicting what might happen next. Hikaru turned toward his sempais, slightly confused to their reaction, the conversation kept going as all this happened "I mean weird luck and alien abduction aside, of course." Souta commented "Yeah, first that demon-fox pops outta nowhere and becomes our most hated enemy..." this made the foxes ears twitch"...now he goes missing and a gaggle of foxes come to look for him..." Bantarou added to the recopilated facts so far. Usagi bit her lip overhearing the conversation and couldn't help but making the question on the minds of the all the teenagers in the room be vocalized "Just who is Ken really?" ...all except one.

"Kenichi Aoki is the most famous name in the world of martial arts..." A new voice had made itself known. Entering the room was a young man, in his 16 years of age, wearing designer clothes but of a more casual and modern fashion, a jacket and a silk shirt as well as a pair of designer class pants. He was quite attractive, as well as well groomed, with straight, smooth, shoulder-length black hair as well as stunning eyes, it bears to mention the young man was also carrying a katana blade by his waist. This youth was the current scion to the Mendou fortune. He looked oddly at the many foxes that stared back at him, not truly considering it all that odd, his family did own quite the collection of pet octopi, so what if other people chose other kinds of animals to keep as company the younger man considered, he made little note of all the other guests, focusing only on one person...

"Ah pardon me for not introducing myself..." The princely young man made a reverence and took Usagi's hand, ignoring all the other men in the room, as well as the adults. "My name is Shin Mendou, and it's a pleasure to meet you miss...?"

" *giggle* U-Usagi Miyake *blush*" Despite herself, Usagi couldn't help but fall for the regal and elegant man in front of her, currently being so courteous.

"Oh, I didn't know you had any children, Mendou-san" Shinobu noticing an oddly familiar scene developing infront of her. The older Mendou jovially laughed. "Hahahaha, well I suppose it's natural for you to be surprised. Both Asuka and I are proud of our son."

"Wait, you married Asuka? You don't mean the same Asuka Mizunokoji, the one that would go 'KYAAAA! A MAN!' at anything even remotely male, that Asuka?" Perm questioned out loud, even so far as to act her common reaction nearly all the male gender. To be frank, their memories involving the extremely naive, extremely strong, armored girl...well, they all involved pain to a big degree, but if anything she seemed like a lost case.

"Oh, you see, after my family helped pay a small fortune in therapies for Asuka overseas, she had finally been cured of her arrhenphobia(to some extent) some years ago and we were finally able to marry. Shin here is the product of our union."

"Oh..." It was surprising for Shinobu to know about this, if anything no one truly expected that Asuka would ever get over her fear of men, at least not as long as Ataru remained on the planet...Ah..So that was it. "Huh...that makes sense. I guess it must've gone much easier ever since Ataru left, huh?" She said, making sense of it all in hindsight.

Mendou merely nodded. "Yes, when they both left, our fair town returned into a sense of normalcy of sorts." He solemnly said, he couldn't help a small nostalgic feeling about the old days.

"Ah father, are these your guests?" The younger Mendou scion pointedly asked interrupting the trip down memory lane, Shinobu couldn't help but giggle at how incredible was the similarity between father and son, truly a son was a father's mirror...but maybe it's best to not to say that out loud, all things considered

"Yes Shin, these are friends from my high-school years. Treat them with respect. But you mentioned something about the Aoki boy just now, I take it you know more?"

Immediately Shin's expresion darkened and released Usagi's hand. "Yes, father. As I said, Kenichi Aoki is the most famous name in the world of martial arts..."

"Every fighter in the world knows him...and they all hate his guts." This had managed to catch everyone's attention. As Shin proceeded with his story, Shinobu and Usagi noticed the kitsune started fidgeting around, their reactions ranged from nervous fidgetting, to shamelessly innocent whistling, to deep embarrasment as some tried to hide their faces

"Umm...yeah, hey, howzzabout we concentrate on finding-?" Yoshi started to try and dodge the subject but was quickly shushed silent by Bantarou. Shin continued uninterrupted, wondering briefly who just spoke. "I take it no one's heard of the **GMAC**?"

"GMAC?" Everyone (but the kitsune) asked, Mendou slammed his fist on his open palm in realization. The kitsune silently hoped that this conversation would get interrupted or anything.

"The **Global Martial Arts Competion**, of course!" He explained, once hearing this everyone in the room paid close attention, the foxes were in sour luck. The former stormtroopers quickly recalled Hikaru mentioning something of the sort, but the little fox didn't go into much more detail, mainly because he honestly did not know much about the subject in specific. The other kitsune though, they were making signs to the Mendou heir to kindly 'shut up!' as it was, though they were pointedly ignored.

"A few years ago, there was a competition that involved our generation of fighters around the globe, it was at the final fight of the competition when it all occurred. If I recall correctly it was Shou Inoue of the Soaring Sparrow school of martial arts versus Kenichi Aoki of the Kitsune fist style. Aoki had defeated Inoue completely, but that's not all..."

"It's a nice story and all, handsome, but we really need to-" Chika tried to interrupt this time, only to be shushed by everyone in the room."SHHHHH!" Shin turned to the vixen, swearing he just heard her talk, Chika only looked to the side innocentlyhoping the younger Mendou would ignore her, when he finally turned, Chika let out the breath she didn't know she was holding.

"Well, I tried..." the nine-tailed vixen shrugged in defeat.

"...As I was saying, when Aoki was declared the ultimate fighter in the whole world, he did something **unforgivable**...he declared that he was retiring from martial arts altogether, and that he was **stealing away the title of 'Strongest Fighter in the World' with him.**"

Everyone in the room stared at Shin, not truly understanding what he meant. The nearly all the kitsune sighed a quiet 'We knew it' as their collective heads dropped, only Hikaru exchanging worried glances between them. "Umm...Mendou-san..." Usagi hesitantly raised her hand. "What do you mean he stole the title?"

Yeah, from the sounds of it, he won it fair and square..." Souta commented, it was quite perplexing but apparently it was a big deal.

"You see, when he was awarded with the title, he said, and I quote: 'Since I'm the strongest in the whole world now, I'm gonna keep this title for the rest of my life. And to make sure no one can take it from me, **I'm retiring as a martial artist, from this day forth, kon! !**" Shin was starting to creep everyone out, so much so with how dead-on his impression of Ken had been. He quickly noticed the strange looks he was getting and composed himself instantly. Everyone was flabbergasted at this...but to a certain extent, the teenagers were capable of believing this to be true.

"So, Ken retired, just so no one else could get that title?" Minoru asked, verifying the nature of Ken's motive.

"Exactly" Shin said with a grim nod, his grip tightening on his sword.

"But couldn't they just hold another tournament and pick someone else to be the strongest in the world?" Kakugari asked, for him, this didn't quite seem like such a big deal.

"Of course they could, but since no one would be able to challenge Aoki officially, to many fighters it was pointless now." Shin explained. "Personally..."

**"I HOPE THAT BASTARD ROTS IN HELL!" **Shin yelled, chopping of the couch in front of him in half with his blade in a single Iai strike. Everyone gave him wide berth (those sitting on the couch squeezed to the sides of it, specially Minoru and Souta who had been sitting at different sides of the cut), staring at him nervously. The elder Mendou had recalled an important fact. "Oh that's right, you were looking forward to participate in the tournament the year after that one..." Shin quickly composed himself and gave a comforting hand to Usagi. "Please forgive me, I hope I didn't startle you Miyake-san." She in turn took his hand in hers and with a dreamy expression she said "Call me Bunny..." Minoru made a point of clearing his throat, loudly, saying sneakily "*cough* _what about Ken?*_cough_*_" Usagi blinked in surprise and quickly hid her hands behind her back, blushing brightly.

"Huh? Who's this Ken? Is it your boyfriend, Miss Usagi?" Shin asked curious, Usagi just laughed nervously. Minoru looked oddly at the younger Mendou.

"Actually, he's an..._acquaintance_ of ours...We think that him, and Hmph!" Before Minoru could continue, Nobu climbed up behind his head and clamped his mouth shut with his paw, the kitsune sweating heavily and turning his head he made what could be called the best improvised ventriloquism act in history. "Ahehehehehe...kon, I meant that we think that he and Usagi might be dating, hehehehe." The seven tailed fox lied, receiving approving nods from nearly all his vulpine comrades (Hikaru was still confused as it was)

Shin looked seriously at the vertically-challenged teenager, as he processed this information. Standing up, and what with can only be described as a Machiavellian expression he said: "You don't say..."

"But still..."

He turned to his father. "Father, I do believe I'll be transferring into Tomobiki High shortly, do you have any objections?"

Mendou, the older one, scratched his chin contemplatively. It would be good for his son to study in his dear alma matter, if anything to forge character. "No, I think you will learn much in Tomobiki High."

"w-w-WHAT! ?" Megane yelled, standing up and spilling his tea. "No, I won't allow it! First that damnable Aoki and now your spawn, Mendou! ? No way! It will be the same story all over again! !" Megane marched, screaming at the billionaire, as Megane grabbed him from the neck of his suit. Mendou slapped his hand off, and instantly, his guards all surrounded the pitiful teacher all pointing swords at the bespectacled man.

"You make a mistake, Megane. My son and I are quite different, you'll learn soon enough." As he said this the had youths left the room. The kitsune all looked at each other and detecting a possible threat to their young master they all decided with a nod to follow the Mendou heir, Hikaru nearly falling behind as they all followed.

* * *

"I will gladly take you for a tour of my humble abode, Miss Usagi." Shin corteously made a reverence to the blond, skittish girl. Bantarous crew gave an annoyed and collective *AHEM*. The young scion stared at the four for a moment and finally said. "Your servants are welcome to follow, of course." The rich boy said amicably.

"Well, how very kind of yo-WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING SERVANTS, PRETTY BOY! ?" Bantarou raged, a few seconds after the backhanded insult registered in his brain.

"*giggle* Are you really going to join our school, Mendou-san?" Usagi wondered completely ignoring Bantarou's banter, if it was up to her she would be more than happy.

"Oh? So you attend Tomobiki High, Miss Usagi. Well that certainly is a pleasant surprise." The chivalrous teenager gave a charming smile at the bunny-like girl.

"Oh Mendou~" Usagi blissfully answered

"Oh brother..." Bantarou groaned, just about having enough of this hammy romance. "That's it! Rich boy is gonna get his teeth kicked in." The leader of the gang started to crack his knuckles and made a (really lousy) martial arts pose "Huoyah!"

Shin didn't move, only the click of his sword unsheathing was heard, and in the blink of an eye, Mendou was re-sheathing his blade. As everyone wondered what had happened, Bantarou's school uniform had been sliced to ribbons! Even his undershirt had the japanese character for 'Shin'. His gang stepped away in fear while Usagi covered her eyes. As Mendou clicked his sword back in place, he said "Consider this a warning, 'friend'. While I have thousands of soldiers of my private army at my disposal, I am by no means a weakling. **I am a true martial artist**, be thankful I would never turn my blade to harm the **weak**."

"ARGH! W-Why you-?" Bantarou stammered trying to cover himself with the remnants of his clothes. "E-even if you defeat me, you'll still have to fight Tomobiki High's Kitsune!" Bantarou cried, ashamed to rely on his hated enemy to promise vengeance.

Shin turned away. "I'm counting on it. I've heard of a man nicknamed '**invincible**' that hails from that school under that name, I wish to see if he lives up to the **title**." The four stared at the swordsman as he was about to leave, even Usagi was now considerably worried...whether she was worried for Ken or for Shin, no one could tell.

"Shall we go, Miss Usagi?" Shin said offering his hand to the blonde girl.

She looked at the offered hand, and blushing she took it. "All right, Mendou-san." The kitsune following her closely with Chika leading the group. "Ah, I forgot..." Shin said kneeling to the vixen, scratching her behind her ears, Chika of course didn't complain and actually wagged her tails at the treatment. "I've been meaning to compliment you on your refined pets, Miss Usagi"

Usagi for her part sweat-dropped embarrassedly. "A heh heh...umm, actually they're not my pets..." Shin blinked a little confused, but his confusion turned to shock as to what he heard next, in an alluring feminine voice no less.

"MmmMMmmm...a little to the left, handsome..." Chika sighed, immediately Shin jumped back shocked. "T-that fox! IT SPOKE!" Shin yelled, katana at the ready fearing it had encountered a real youkai.

"Hmph! And I was really enjoying that too..."Chika pouted, then in a puff of smoke, she turned into a very alluring, beautiful white haired woman, wearing a light-blue yukata. She walked towards Shin with an alluring gait. "You wouldn't hurt me with that big old sword now, would you?" Mendou faltered, blushing intensely at this attractive female, the only marks of her true identity were her tails and her ears. The other males (human and kitsune alike) blushed hotly at this display, Hikaru even covering his eyes. Shin started chuckling goffily, when all of the sudden he was struck upwards the head by a stone octopus statue, all while only hearing the battle cry:

**"MEN BE DAMNED!"**

**"GAH!"  
**

Shin crumpled to the floor unconcious as Chika couldn't help but giggle to herself. "My my my, young men are always so fun! Hohohohohoho!" The men blinked confused, as they saw Usagi glaring at the prone form of Shin muttering something like 'men are all the same'.

Hina jumped and bonked her sempai with her proverbial frying pan. "Chika-sempai, must you always do this to every guy you meet? !" Hina scolded to her alleged superior. Chika transformed back and rubbed the new bump on her head, and huffed, insulted. "I don't do it to every guy I meet! Only the cute ones." Everyone dropped to the floor. Usagi bitterly thought that this could explain a couple of things about Ken's behavior.

* * *

Meanwhile, on a certain space pirate ship...

*GROWL*

Emi's stomach growled loudly, as she was hiding in a cargo bay inside the pirate mother-ship . She was having a rather difficult time hiding keeping her hunger in check, she would have wanted to deal with all the pirates single-handedly, but she was never much of a fighter, as a matter of fact she was more of a runner (or in her case flyer). Not to mention she was currently trying to figure out were they kept all the food in this ship, she was famished, it didn't help she was hiding in dark cargo hold with only her pocket sized device to keep her company.

"So hungry...I could really go for some Tabasco Special Beef bowl...or some of mom's cooking." She smacked her lips as she thought of all the delicious food she could be eating right now, and instantly her stomach growled even louder as a complaint. She idly wondered how what Nu and Ken were doing so far, specially Ken...actually only Ken. The Oni princess couldn't quite put her finger on what really made the human male such a great impression on her mind...could it be his charming clumsiness? Or his brave spirit? Or his badass kung-fu moves?...Or maybe it was his cute butt? (This last one she had a rather 'lusty' expression on her face as she fixated on the mental image). Her stomach growled once more reminding her that it wanted some food.

"_*groan*_ Maybe some music will take my mind off'a this mess."

She pulled a couple of headphones from her cleavage and plugged them in the multi-purpose device that was her Oniberry. It's screen still showed it was broadcasting a signal to her faithful assistant. Pressing some buttons , she enabled the music player and set it to shuffle, to her delight the first track was a romantic slow one. She sighed as her mind drifted...focusing on the music...

* * *

She imagined herself on atop a grand dance hall, wearing a beautiful flowing dress, an evening gown perfect which kept an elegant yet alluring air to her, her hair flowing freely and a tiara atop her head, as she slowly descended the stairs. There were hundreds of guests, aliens of all shapes and sizes dancing a slow ballad. Emi watched entranced the dancing when someone had offered her to take his hand and take the next dance.

This was Ken. No longer wearing ragged clothes but a rather elegant black suit, wearing a suit jacket loosely, with a white undershirt unbuttoned aroun the neck. His hair no longer messy, but combed and proper, still tied in a ponytail. To Emi, he looked HOT.

She blinked in surprise for a few moments and smiled, taking the offered hand and walking towards the dance hall, when another hand landed on her shoulder. This one belonged to Remy, who wore a much more conservative, tiger-stripped suit, also groomed and proper but obtaining a completely different reaction altogether.

"*groan* Not you!" Emi glared hotly at Remy. She had broken things up with the attractive Oni a few months ago, but he wouldn't listen to reason. If anything, Remy along with her own father were the ones responsible for scaring off any other potential boyfriends, even male friends as it would be. Whether it was her dad showing that awful poster (which, for some reason, blasted people away) or Remy scaring them off with his transformation, she was really getting tired of both their antics

"Please Emi, come back with me..." Remy pleaded, to which Emi only removed his hand off her shoulder, and stuck out her tongue.

"Bih! Get lost! I am never gonna go back with'cha!" Emi heatedly yelled. Remy's expression darkened into an angry scowl. "I will NOT lose you, Emi!" He started to transform into his tiger-cow for. Emi took position, ready to zap the annoying Ex-boyfriend aiming her fingers like a gun when Ken moved in front of her, his hands a top hers motioning her to stay at ease.

"You heard the lady, Burger-boy" Ken warned the irate Oni tiger-cow. "Scram or become the main course, your choice."

As Remy finished his transformation he only answered with an enraged "BUMOOOO!"

Ken shook his head, and cracking his knuckles he yelled offhandedly: "Ladies and Gents, tonight's main course: Bruised moron a la carte, with a side dish of pain!" Remy charged at the pony-tailed youth and pined him down with his paws, but was quickly kicked upwards by Ken. As the fighter recovered his stance and just as Remy fell, Ken booted him into orbit.

"Well now that he's gone..." Ken turned and took Emi's hand. "Where were we?" Emi smiled openly. The two danced a slow ballad for a while in quiet silence, only the smooth music breaking the silence. Then the song finished and both stood staring at each other, Emi losing herself in Ken's golden eyes. The song quickly another one seemingly slow one, the pair danced but the moment the tempo started to quicken, the spotlight shone on them. As they kept with each other both Ken and Emi separated, Emi looking over at Ken, and Ken beckoning her to come. Emi ran up to Ken and he grabbed her in such a way she almost touched the floor and in a quick spin they both ended, just in time with the song, interlocked in each others arms. Both staring once more into each others eyes. Ken, with a disarming smile he asked: "Well, how did you like that, Emi?"

Emi smiled, with an entranced expresion she merely answered: "It was brilliant, Sweetie."

* * *

Emi soon woke up from her daydream...only to find she had effectively started dancing by herself to the music, but not only that...she had an audience of a couple of utterly confused Selachian guards, the same she and Ken had encountered during his escape and which still were somewhat bruised and battered. Emi looked properly embarrassed and sweat-dropped.

"Oh crap..." she muttered, cursing her luck.

All things considered, today was gonna suck...

To be continued...

* * *

A/N: Thanks for keeping up so far, updates are gonna be a tad more sporadic from now on since I'll be involved in another project, so don't expect updates soon. I will finish this story though, it'll just take longer, so please be patient.

Please read and review, it's the only way I'll learn.


	9. To the Rescue! Oni VS Pirates

Chapter 9 "To the rescue! Oni VS. Pirates"

All original cast and characters of Urusei Yatsura belong to Rumiko Takahashi. I own only the OCs

Enjoy if you will

A/N: Sorry for the short chappie, busy with a lot of projects...

* * *

"Master Ken, wake up! It's time..."

Ken woke up, energetic for once, already inside an Oni battleship. Nu floated by carrying a special uniform for Ken. Unlike the standard Oni Guard yellow and black striped jumpsuit, this one was a black and white jumpsuit, with a clean T-shirt that emblazoned a nine-tailed fox in its design. The ex-martial artist couldn't help but feel this last item was a jab at him, but it didn't matter too much to him, in the end they needed him, and he knew it. The last items were a clean set of unmentionables cloth items that Ken accepted. After dressing, the young fighter did a quick warmup followed by some basic katas, smirking all the while, he knew he was ready, nothing could stop him. Ken felt good, not only because today was Taian, but because of what would happen today. He would go and rescue a princess (a real one mind you!), return to the alien planet a hero, and even pick the most beautiful babe from the planet to marry him. The danger of losing? Non existent. He was The Invincible Ken, these aliens didn't stand a chance against him, hell, he had yet to meet ANYONE that could stop him...well, his own mother scared the crap out of him, but that was another issue entirely. No, Ken didn't fear anyone...yet.

"All right, time to rescue a princess!" Ken grinned broadly, the foxfire that represented his own fighting spirit burned brightly, almost blazing.

Nu couldn't help but fret, Ken looked all raring to go, but to trust his mistress safety to this...this...this SCOUNDREL...but alas, they would need his help.

"Master Ken!" Nu yelled, getting the pony-tailed fighter's attention

"Hm? What is it?" Ken asked nonchalantly.

"Know this Master Ken, so far you have proven to me, you are a selfish, scheming, underhanded, arrogant, two-faced scoundrel!" Nu reprimanded

"Hey! I am not arrogant!" Ken countered.

"But none the less, please promise me you will bring Emi-hime safe and sound..." Nu pleaded, with a sort of emotion, quite rare on any robotocal assistant.

Ken looked at Nu honestly surprised, then smirked once more. "Dude, I may be the textbook definition of JD [Juvenile Delinquent], but if anything I keep to my word." It was then Ken dropped a companiable hand on top of Nu."Emi saved my ass in that ship, who knows what they'd try to do to me, hell, just between you and me, I'd have gone save her anyway even if Mr.M didn't fall for my trick." Nu looked shocked, but with Ken it was becoming a recurring theme. "But then...why?" Nu questioned, not really following Ken's logic, the boy smirked. "That was Emi's old man, right? I doubt he'd let me help out of the blue, he'd probably think I had hidden motifs or some shit. Only way to get him to let me participate, was to outright 'trick' him and the others." Nu considered this new bit of information, it was then it dawned on the robot. Ken had tricked them all, not once but twice, his true intention, was to be able to help rescue Emi. Nu looked down embarrased as he floated near Ken.

"Master Ken...I underestimated you...Please forgive me!" The embarrased feline AI pleaded.

Ken waved it off."Relax Nu, lotta people do that..." Nu was now looking at the young human with newfound respect, perhaps he was truly a noble fellow.

"Besides..." Ken continued "Getting to pick my future bride is pretty damn sweet, don't ya think?" Nu's anti-gravity servos almost dropped him instantly when he heard that, perhaps he was wrong after all.

Who was to know what truly went on inside the young fighter's head?

* * *

"Just what is that idiot thinking! ?" Remy complained, to no one in particular, as he was fine tuning his fighter ship. The other pilots and engineers eyeing him warily. Remy knew this was an excellent chance to try and win over Emi again, he would breach the pirates defenses, rescue Emi and finally they could be back together again, he would be a hero in her eyes and would never lose her again. But no, this...meddler just had to, well...meddle!

Emi was his and no one else's, besides what could she see in that primitive brute. Remy was polishing his ship to a mirror shine and examined his handsome face, true, what did that pony-tailed punk have that he lacked? But of course it was now their job to infiltrate the pirate mothership, Ken forcing himself to join up on the rescue mission with just some smooth talking, it infuriated the Oni, triggering his transformation by sheer accident.

"BUMOOOOOOOOOOO!" Remy mooed in fury, as everyone in the hangar gave the Tiger-cow wide berth, wisely choosing not to get involved. Soon alarms blared on the hangar and all the personnel rushed to their positions. They were nearing the pirates, it was now or never. Remy willed himself back to his humanoid form as the hangar doors opened, Allowing for Benten and Ataru to enter, followed closely by Ken, who was cracking his joints, even the weird bluish flames that followed him were blazing. Benten's rage could easily compete with the blaze of the ethereal flames, her warrior soul all too ready for battle. Ataru however had to stay on the ship, just so he could order his troops and make sure they could distract the shark pirates long enough to allow Ken and Remy to infiltrate and then spring the attack on their enemies. Ataru raised his hands, and called to his men and women to lend him their ears. "Men and women of the Fighter pilot division, Pilots, Enginers, Kitsune youkai..."

"Up yours, Moroboshi!" Came the predictable complaint from the trickster fighter, followed quickly by a middle-fingered salute.

"...As I was saying, I cannot thank you enough...for trying to save my daughter who had unwittingly fallen prey to the Sela-what'stheir'face space pirates!" Ataru said, burrowing his face in the sleeve of his uniform.

"Umm...wasn't Emi the one who decided to wait for us there?" Ken whispered to Nu, who quickly hushed him quiet. "SHH!...Hmm I wonder if Lord Moroboshi had forgotten of the other 299 prisoners..."Nu whispered, Ken just shrugged at that.

"Your mission is to engage the enemy pirates, while Ken and Remy sneak into their mothership, defeat them on the inside and rescue my daughter..." Ataru seemingly finished, but then came Benten's not-to-subtle cough "*AHEM*" Ataru turned confused, it took him a complete moment to figure out what Benten was hinting at. "Huh? OH! Right, also once they enter, they will release all the prisoners and you'll be ready to get them outta there."

"Any questions?" Everyone present shook their heads in a negative. "All right, then I wish you all good luck..." The Oni Warlord loudly gulped as he said that "...don't fail me..." As Ataru and Benten left, Benten approached Ken and grabbed him from the neck of his shirt. "Don't. fuck. this. up." She warned, Ken merely shrugged and smirked. "Never happened before babe, not gonna start now." He boasted, though to be honest he was a bit worried. This was way beyond his safe zone, he was used to fighting all sort of fighters, but most of them were human (or at least vulpine) in nature, but he shook off those thoughts quickly

_C'mon dude... _He thought. _You're 'the Invincible Ken', so you're up against shark aliens, you already kicked the asses of two of them, what are a couple of thousand more?_

Ken grinned, he was ready_._

The preparations were complete. All starfighters were launching from the Oni battleship hangar, the last one being Remy's own Jet Tiger carrying Remy himself, Nu and Ken. Shortly after a Sapphire blue planet came into view a large dark blue ship orbiting around it, surrounded by a fair number of it's own fighters. The Oni fired first an Ion missile, just enough to startle them and to make sure they couldn't fight at 100 percent capacity...

* * *

A little earlier inside the Selachian Pirate ship, over in the captains quarters, the Selachian Captain himself was sitting on his chair, bitterly grumbling his latest failure, on how the human had escaped. His armored fist creaking as he imagined crushing the windpipe of the Oni Warlord, but it would only be a dream. He was much more angry to the fact that not only was the human warrior much more than he seemed but that he managed to escape, but of course, that begged the question: Why him? There were over 300 prisoners, and he was the one to be saved? Was it all just **pure luck**?

"Damn little bastard!" He slammed his fist on the chair's arm, nearly obliterating it in the process. Instantly an holographic screen lit up with the face of his second in command. "Captain." The Sharkwoman said impassively.

"Please tell me you have GOOD news this time, lieutenant..." The captain sighed wearily, rubbing the temples of his head. The selachian lieutenant gave a small smirk. "As a matter of fact,I do. Captain"

The Captain visibly perked up, it seems that they would finally be rid of the stench of failure from yesterday. "We found the Oni girl hiding in one of the cargo holds, it seems only the human escaped and left her behind." The screen shifted to the side and true enough, there was an Oni girl, looking mighty miffed, sitting inside a special containment bubble, it was designed ensure to be able to deliver food and water as well as air inside the bubble but would shield any outsider from her potential abilities, in her unfortunate case, it was shock-proof. The Captain's eyes widened, he recognized the girl as the current warlords daughter, this was without a doubt the wayward Oni princess, Emi Moroboshi.

"This is...this is...THIS IS EXCELLENT! HAHAHAHAHA!" The shark openly laughed, at last the had the most powerful of all intergalactic forces under their control, with this bargaining chip, the could force Ataru Moroboshi to surrender the entire Oni Empire over to him, this more than made up for one simple (but somewhat dangerous) humanoid, it was one hell of a trade up. "Captain, Should I contact warlord Ataru and let him know of the situation?" The Captain smirked evily "No...not just yet, let him stew over for a few days. Then we'll let him know we have his precious daughter. For the meantime, let me take a look at our... guest...". The sharkwoman nodded and with an unseen tap of a button the camera moved further in front of Emi, who was sitting cross-legged, cheeks puffed out in annoyance.

"Good evening, Princess Moroboshi. I trust you are comfortable in your...reduced chambers, hehehe." The Captain chuckled.

Emi for her part, shot the sharkman a glare...followed by her flipping him off."Go back to your fishbowl, 'tcha guppy!"

The Captain did a spit take (an impressive feat, considering he was not drinking anything) and sputtered. "I-buh-wuh-you little...why I-"

"S-show some respect to the Captain!" The Lieutenant yelled, alarmed at the brazen, un-princess-like behaviour of their captive. Before she could berate her, the captain signaled her to stay calm. He raised his hand to attention, and sure enough a semblance of order was restored.

"Heh, my dear, if you haven't noticed, it is you that's inside a...'fishbowl' as it were." The Captain chuckled good naturedly at his own attempt at of course stuck her tongue out at the Captain. "Lemme outta here, ya creep!" The captain made a herculean effort not to react at being called a 'creep'. "I'm afraid I cannot do that, for you see-"

"You get off on this, don'tcha?" Emi interrupted offhandedly.

"Yes, I-*Spurt!* W-WHAT! ?" The captain managed another spit take, this time time in more alarm. Were princesses supposed to act this way! ?

The lieutenant was not doing any better her head darting to and fro from the holographic screen with her captain and the foul-mouthed captive in their hands"A-a-aaaaaAH! Captain, sir, please hold on! You little BRAT, I oughta-" "LIEUTENANT!" The Captain interrupted his second in command once more., it was then he noticed his captive giggling at their shenanigans. The Captain decided to give the Oni princess a reality check.

"You are our captive, that much should be apparent. As for why we have decided to keep you imprisoned, it is quite simple we-ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME! ?" The Sharkman suddenly yelled. As it turned out, Emi was now laying down on her side, turning her back to her captors, while fiddling away with her music player, totally oblivious of the conversation. The Selachi Captain was starting to lose his patience. His second in command was banging her fist on the bubble material currently imprisioning Emi, trying to draw her attention.

"LISTEN HERE YOU,you are our prisioner, **ACT LIKE ONE! ! !**" The Captain yelled, Emi merely glanced over her shoulder, and kneeling she said"Oh my, oh my. What will ever be of pretty, little, ol' me. I'm so scared~!" she finished, giving her best expression of mock terror she could muster. The captain decided to ignore the sarcasm-dripping performance

"Do not fear, nothing will happen to you... as long as your Sir father cooperates with us, you will remain safe." The captain finished, to this Emi scoffed,and took her previous cross legged stance again.

"I'm not afraid of you, my Sweetie is gonna bring my Daddy and all the Oni army behind him. And as soon as my Sweetie, gets here and rescues me, he's gonna kick'tcha ass!" She proudly boasted.

The Captain looked at his second in command confused. As one both Shark pirates asked the same question: "Her 'Sweetie'?"

Emi realizing what she just did, giggled nervously and immediately started to correct herself. "Err...well...he ain't my 'Sweetie' just yet...I mean, he's cute, I s'pose, but' I got'tcha ask if he's seeing anyone, or ask him out even...I think he flirted with me yesterday...oouh, I hope Daddy doesn't scare him away...He's really cute, maybe I should..." She started fidgeting and rambling, letting the fact that she had a crush be to obvious to anyone in the room...or watching said room from a camera. Of course this worried the Captain...was there someone else that could throw a wrench into his plans?

Just then a blast rocked the Pirate ship, and instantly alarms came to life. The Captain tapped a few buttons on his console and another screen appeared infront of him, this one showing a heavily damaged area of his ship.

"REPORT!" The Captain roared, at the Shark engineer who cowered in turn.

"S-s-sir, the main hull just received a direct ion missile impact, we are trying to repair the damages. but-" Before he could finish another screen flared to life. This one showing one of his higher officers. "Sir, we are under attack. T-the Oni Armada...**they found us! They're outnumbering us 30 to 1 and attacking!"**

The Captain looked pale, he then turned to look over to the screen where his captive was, his Lieutenant was at a loss for words, Emi though, not quite.

"Told'cha so."

* * *

As soon as the Oni battleship approached, the pirate starfighters answered by charging to attack the Oni, Remy maneuvered though all the laser fire and explosions, many enemy starfighters attacking the ship that seemed to be **on fire**. Reality showed that Ken was in fact imbuing his kitsune-bi to the space jet.

"Whoaaaaaaa! Nu, you sure this is such a hot idea! ? I've never tried anything like this before!" Ken yelled as he grabbed on to the sides of the ship.

"Master Ken, that is not completely true. You were able to manipulate Sir Ten's mecha using this exact same ability while you were under the influence of the acting poison." Nu calmly explained

"Hold on a moment... you're saying you want this guy to try a trick...he's only done while DRUNK! ? **ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL US ! ? ! ?**"

"Not drunk, Master Ken was in fact poisoned with an agent that induced a highly delusional state."

"**IS THERE A DIFFERENCE ? ? ?"**

"INCOMING!" Ken yelled as he saw a missile dangerously headed in their direction, by sheer instinct alone, Ken forced the starfighter to roll using one of the Jet's wings to deflect the missile back to it's owner, making the enemy ship explode while it's pilot drifted defenseless in an escape bubble.

"**WHAT. DID. YOU. DO** **! ?**" Yelled Remy as he recovered from the shock of nearly becoming space dust.

"...I..did a barrel roll?" Ken sheepishly answered_. "_Anyway it worked didn't it? So chill dude, just focus on getting us on that ship."

"I can't believe I'm following your orders..." Remy bitterly complained, almost inaudibly to any inside the cockpit.

The starfighter traveled much quicker than the rest, penetrating through the defenses of the pirates easily. The Enemy ship tried to prevent their entrance by sealing their hangar area, but Remy's starfighter managed to squeeze through just in the nick of time. And landed inside the Pirate ship. The guards quickly surrounded the starfighter and trained their weapons to it, ready to gun down anyone who tried to leave. All of a sudden the cockpit burst open, and a blur of black and white and tan skin jumped out and landed in the middle of all the enemies, crashing in an enormous dust cloud. As the smoke cleared, all the guards trained their weapons against Ken.

"Surrender immediately!" The guards yelled, Ken understanding this time, thanks to a small inner-ear translator device. For his part the youth grinned, and raised his hands.

As the guards approached the youth catiously, a couple of them recognized him instantly. "A-a-a-a-AHHHHH! IT'S HIM!" As the other guards turned to the two, Ken assumed a stance and just as quickly the nine foxfire appeared.

"_Nagareboshi Ba-suto!_" [Falling Star Burst] .The fighter slammed his fist on the ground and a ki shockwave launched all of the surrounding guards to crash on walls, parked fighters, and other painful blunt objects that were in their trajectory, leaving only the two frightened guards, who were bracing for the worst. Ken slowly stepped towards them, both guards gulped in fear as he approached, dropping their weapons and shivering uncontrollably. The moment Ken was in point-blank range, he looked at both space pirates and merely said "Boo." Both guards fainted in response, leaving the fighter chuckling to himself.

"Hehe, so much for the welcoming comittee." Ken amused to his situation, kept calm. Nu hovered close to the fighter in question. "Master Ken, you must do whatever you can to conserve your strength, and only use your special abilities when necessary"

"Ah, you complain too much, Nu. I'm still on level nine."

"HEY YOU BASTARD!" Remy yelled from the destroyed cockpit of his fighter. "Did you really have to bust it open like that! ? I'm going to have to fix it, before we can leave this place!"

"Yeah, you do that,I'm gonna go release the other prisoners and save Emi" Ken said, offhandedly.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you! ?" Remy was not ready to let this drop. "I don't trust you, if anything I'll rescue Emi, she's MY girlfriend!"

"Huh? Really?" Ken said mildly surprised.

"Actually..." Nu interjected "...if I recall correctly, Moroboshi-hime had broken up with you, Lord Remy..." Remy gulped at the small tattle-tale's unnecesary quip. Ken looked at him accusingly. "I believe that makes Emi your EX-girlfriend, dude. Hehehehehe." The pony-tailed fighter mocked, Remy began to sputer to defend himself. "T-t-this is just a little 'break', yeah, it's not like it has been that long!"

"By my estimations, it has been 8 months, 4 weeks, 5 days, and 17 hours since Moroboshi-hime ended her relationship with you, Lord Remy."

"WHO ASKED YOU ! ?**"** Remy yelled, Ken was on the meantime laughing his ass off. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAha. Dude, face it, hahaha, she dropped you like the proverbial rock! Hahahahaha!"

"**You** stay out of this!" Remy yelled in turn, before the banter could continue. Nu displayed a holographic screen with a live transmission to the Oni Armada HQ, directly to Ataru.

"Will all of you shut up and get to rescuing my daughter already! ?" The Oni warlord yelled at all involved.

"R-right away, Moroboshi-sama!" Nu declared

"Yes, sir! Warlord Moroboshi, SIR!" Remy saluted.

"All right, all right, we're going, we're going! Seriously..." Ken responded, he quickly turned around and sniffed the air, instantly smilling as he picked up the scent of the abducted Oni princess. "Got her scent, everybody follow me!" In an instant Ken dashed off, all the while yelling his battle cry:

"**FOR MY MARRIAGE! KON!"**

Nu closed the transmission and quickly flew behind Ken, Remy in turn took to fixing his beloved starfighter as soon as possible.

* * *

On the Oni Imperial Warship, Ataru stood there in front of the communication console, with a haunted look on his face. Benten somewhat worried, waved her hand in front of the flabbergasted human, but no reaction. After a few moments, Ataru spoke...

"W...w...what did that **IDIOT** just say! ? !"

To be continued...

* * *

This is long overdue but here are a few notes on the stories as a whole

**Ken/Kenichi Aoki: **His given name translates to "healthy/strong" which describes Ken quite accurately (In the case of Kenichi it means "strong/healthy one", so the meaning stays), but there's a little wordplay involved as well. "Kitsune ken" can be translated as "Strong Fox", or for example "kitsune-ken" which means "Fox fist" that is a game similar to the rock/paper/scissors, which also happens to be the name of Ken's style in martial arts.

**Emi Moroboshi**: Her name translates as "Beautiful blessing", basically it's Ataru's weird way of demonstrating that he truly loves Lum, in that he cares and loves their daughter enough to give her a name that shows it, quite unlike his own parents in regards to Ataru himself actually.

**Usagi Miyake: **Her given name means literally "Rabbit", bear in mind just who her parents are and it makes sense in context, also explains Ken's nickname for her: "Bunny-chan".

**Shin Mendou:** His full name explains what he really is, namely "True Trouble". While Shuutaro trained in sword-based martial arts, as well as military combat and given his track record with all the weirdness he was involved by proxy, he is pretty much jaded to any sort of excentricities (it helps to be excentric as well), his son, well he doesn't have that advantage...which pretty much means his perception of the world is gonna be shattered once he enters Tomobiki. He believes himself to be the rightful one to deserve the title of 'the strongest' and will prove it by using all of his economical might to bring Ken down...as soon as he finds him.

Well, that takes care of some of the main players, sorry to leave yet another cliffhanger, but don't worry, I'll update as soon as I can


	10. To the Rescue! Part 2

Chapter 10 "To the Rescue! Part 2: I hate minibosses!"

All original cast and characters of Urusei Yatsura belong to Rumiko Takahashi. I own only the OCs

Enjoy if you will

* * *

"No no no no no no no no no no no **NO!**"

Desperate screams filled the the Oni Imperial Armada's Flagship, specifically the bridge. Ataru paced back and forth all over the room, earning eerie and preocupied glances from the various communication engineers, officers, cadets and other personnel in the room. Benten had tolerated it for a while but she was getting mighty fed up with it, before she could deck him something else called her attention.

"Benten-sama! We just received news that the Pangalactic Yellow Cab service has arrived to the sector and are boarding the Selachian Pirate ship, awaiting the abductees with over 35 cabs ready to depart at a moments notice." One of the communication engineers said, this distracted Benten enough from inducing bodily harm to a currently panicking Moroboshi.

"Good, tell 'em to wait for a goofy looking tiger-cow, a Tiger ball A.I. butler, an Oni princess and a kitsune demon. They'll understand."

"Crap crap crap crap crap CRAP!"

"All right enough, is enough!" Benten approached Ataru and decked him square in the face, slamming him towards the walls of the command room. Quickly falling back on his resilience, Ataru shook off the pain, the shock reorganizing his ideas as well.

"Thanks, Benten. I needed that."

"Actually I'd argue that you **deserved** that, but let's leave that for another day. So tell me, what's got you into a panic?"

Ataru quickly remembered what drove him to panic just now. From the moment Moroboshi saw the younger boy, he knew he was going to be trouble, and not just because he crashed through the roof of his palace, no it wasn't anything as simple. Ataru had been threatened more times that he could ever care to remember, and more than causing some mild annoyance, he was pretty much used to it. But something about the ex-martial artist just rubbed him the wrong way, or rather something about him kept nagging Moroboshi at the back of his mind, but it wasn't till that **idiot**...**that completely foolish, moronic idiot** went and yelled for the world to hear that blasted battle cry...

The same Ataru Moroboshi himself gave over twenty years ago when he was at the very last day of the Tag Race that would mark the fate of Earth, the same that he gave all the while focusing on marrying a completely different girl at the time, the one true turning point in his life was given when he yelled those three words...

_"For my marriage!"_

Ataru realized then and there why Ken had sparked suspicion on the current Oni Warlord. He instantly remembered something else Benten said, not too long ago...

_"Dammit, Moroboshi! What're the odds that we'll cross another **galactic-class moron** LIKE YOU! ?"_

_"I can't believe we actually found another **galactic-class moron** like you, Moroboshi…"_

_"...**Like you**..."  
_

Ken reminded him of himself. Though there were quite a few parallels, Ken and Ataru were similar in a way, they were both stubborn, sneaky and conniving. He was exactly the kind of person Ataru wanted Emi **to stay away from!** He should of seen it sooner, hell, the bastard even knew Cherry, so that meant that he probably lived in Tomobiki-cho, even if the Kyoto-ben accent managed to distract this fact.

**"ARGH!"** Ataru screamed suddenly, Benten punched him across the face once more.

"STOP THAT!"

"Sorry, you looked like you were gonna break down again." Benten meekly apologized, sticking her tongue out

"Look, has Lum ever told you how we got engaged?" Ataru spoke seriously all of a sudden, Benten was taken aback since that question came out of nowhere. She honestly had to stop and think for a moment, she distantly remembered...long ago...an excited Lum had called her back then...

* * *

Many years ago, circa 1985 A.D. by the Earth Gregorian calendar...

_Benten was idly polishing some of her bazookas in her space ship, eagerly waiting for Setsubun and to make Lum, one of her best friends in the galaxy, taste utter defeat at her hands. It was then that her ship's computer blared the incoming signal alarm._

_"INCOMING CALL...INCOMING CALL...INCOMING CALL...INCO-"_

_Benten set down her bazooka and walked over to the computer's keyboard and pressed a button on the console and the screen went into static fuzz for a few seconds before Lum's beaming face was displayed on screen. Lum looked radiant, happier than she had ever recalled, something good must've happened to the Oni princess._

_"Yo Lum! What's up? You look happy." Benten said cheerily_

_"You betcha! Something amazing happened today!" Lum giggled all the way, excited. Benten recalled that today was the final day of Lum's first Tag Race, the Oni were contesting conquering some underdeveloped planet in the same Sol system Oyuki's was. A place called Earth she recalled._

_"Oh? So I take it you managed to conquer Earth, eh? Atta girl!" Benten cheered._

_All too soon Lum's expresion changed from giddy to sheepishly embarrassed, as she chuckled nervously. "Ah ha ha ha...No, actually...I lost..."_

_Benten fell over flat on her face, as she recovered she shot her old friend a glare._

_"WHAT! ? You LOST! On the last freaking day! ? What the hell, Lum?" Benten demanded. "And more to the point, why the hell are you so happy about it?"_

_"Well, you see...I GOT ENGAGED! ! !" Lum reverted back to excited in a heartbeat, Benten blinked a couple of times, somewhat confused, but she shook her head. Lum wasn't that affected by losing, that much was obvious._

_"Well, bummer to hear you lost the Tag Race, but congrats on getting hitched Lum!" Benten honestly congratulated her old friend, she had been in a bit of a funk since the whole Rei fiasco, hopefully this guy will be much better for her. If not, she could always drop by and kick his ass.  
_

_"So who's the lucky dog?" Benten questioned, completely dripping with curiosity._

_Lum beamed a smile as she fished a small photo from her bra (geez, why did she keep everything in there anyway?) and in a swift motion she flashed a snapped polaroid of her husband. Benten looked the picture over, the guy in the photo looked...kind of goofy, not very bright, actually he wasn't very attractive to be honest, he looked like a creep._

_"You're...gonna marry him?" Benten questioned uncertain, she knew that Lum was one of the most attractive women in the galaxy, she knew she could have her pick of any suitor she wished, but then why him?_

_"Yup, this is my Darling. Ataru Moroboshi." Lum said cradling the photo in her arms, Benten stopped for a second as she recognized the name._

_"Hey, isn't he the guy you were competing against on the Tag Race?"_

_"You betcha, the last day he yelled 'for my marriage' and managed to tag me...all to marry ME! *giggle*" Lum jumped back from her console and spun in the air a few times, all the while giggling excitedly "He wants to marry ME! **ME!** I'm so excited! Wohoooo!" Benten sweat-dropped at her friends' antics, but it was clear to her that Lum was happy, as a matter of fact, it was the happiest she ever saw her in a while. She shook her head, this guy better appreciate her or else..._

_"Hey Lum?"_

_"...Hm?"_

_"I'm happy for ya!" Benten gave her childhood friend a warm smile, to which Lum smiled back._

_"...Thanks, Benten"_

_"Oh and Lum?"_

_"Hm?"_

_"Next Setsubun? I'm gonna kick your ASS, Oni princess!" Benten smirked confidently,_

_Lum merely 'hmphed' back. "I'd like 'tcha see ya try, Fukujin!" She shot back confident._

_..._

* * *

Back in the present...

Benten laughed mischieviously, she recalled that on the next Setsubun after that it was Ataru himself that earned the Fukujin their victory. Ataru on the meantime tried to get Benten's attention from wherever she was.

"Benten? Hey Benten-sama? Benten-chan? Yohoo?" Ataru tried to call her but with no effect. he slowly walked around her as she kept laughing, and used his own fool-proof patented pressure point attack. **"EEEEEEK!"** Benten was shocked out of her stupor and reacted by slamming her elbow on top of Ataru's skull.

"Dammit Moroboshi! Don't do that!"

"Nyehehehe, sorry 'bout that. But do you remember?" Ataru said from his prone position on the floor. Benten's face lit up as she recalled.

"Oh yeah, now I remember! Lum said you managed to beat her in the Tag Race just so you could marry her. That's what happened right?"

"Hehehehe...*gulp* yeah, not quite like that...look let me explain what really happened in private..."

"...Eh?"

* * *

One quick explanation later, in the commander's quarters...

"B...b...by the gods...Moroboshi, are you serious! ?" Benten exclaimed, quite frankly shocked to hear this.

"Yep..." Ataru nonchalantly said

"You tagged her...all the while so you could've married Shinobu? But then...that means you...never intended to even marry Lum in the beginning back then! ? "

"Pretty much..."

"But why didn't you explain it to her then! ?" Benten demanded to know.

"I tried, but she was hung up on me... and then afterwards...well, she started to grow on me and eventually...well...I-" Ataru stuttered and stumbled trying to explain.

"'Fell in love with her?'" Benten helpfully supplied with a smile, to which Ataru merely turned his face away with a dismissive 'Meh'.

"I was going to say that I couldn't imagine life without her, that's it." Ataru stubbornly said

Benten leveled a flat glare on him. "Can't believe you STILL haven't told her how you feel!"

Ataru smirked "Heh, I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I'll tell her on my deathbed."

Benten shook her head, somethings never changed. "At least your heart is in the right place now. Anyway, what's this got to do with our current situa...tion..."

Ataru merely stayed silent, as he saw Benten adding two plus two. As realization dawned on her she covered her mouth with her hand, then turned to Ataru as if to confirm what she suspected. Ataru merely nodded, reading all too clearly the same conclusion he drew himself. Benten shook her head, slowly at first...then with increasing force. "No...no...no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no NO!"

Ataru just sighed in response. "Yes..."

"No...no...

**NOT AGAIN!**"

* * *

Meanwhile on the pirate ship...

Ken was plowing through wave over wave of alien pirates. Smashing each and every underling on the walls, you could easily follow the trail of his wreckage, and unconscious and pummeled bodies that lined the walls. A punch over here, a kick over there, a throw over here, each and every foe was deflected by Ken's attacks. A communication alarm blared from Nu's screen,Ken grabbed the helmets of a couple of guards charging at him, keeping them at arms length.

"Hey Nu, whatsa matter? Battery runnin' low?" Ken said, while the guards flailed their arms trying to reach the young fighter

"Hardly Master Ken, we're receiving an incoming urgent call from Lord Moroboshi." Nu answered, frantically avoiding the enemy's attempts to catch him.

"Take the message, I'm in the middle of somethin' here." As Ken said that he slammed both guards heads with each others, making them both fall unconscious. While Nu answered Ken jumped right into the fray, a veritable cloud of violence where the fox-like fighter was in the middle of it. The holographic screen displayed Ataru and Benten, both looking heavily concerned.

"Nu! Where's that kitsune! ?" Ataru demanded.

"Master Ken is..." Nu had to dodge one of the airborne forms of one the many defeated guards. "...indisposed at the moment."

"I don't care, I need to talk to him."

"Moroboshi-sama, now's really not a-"

"NOW NU!"

Nu gulped, he'd never seen the Oni Warlord so intense, it must be important. Nu hovered carefully dodging the storm of punches/kicks/and other assorted violence that was the middle of the fight.

"Master Ken?"

"Kinda busy here!" Ken answered slightly annoyed, as he dodged a couple of laser blade strikes that barely grazed him, he instantly concentrated a ki blast on each hand and blasted the foes away, but quickly they were replaced by two more.

"Listen Ken, this is important!" Ataru yelled, trying to draw the attention of the young fighter. But Ken was too busy putting a couple of enemies in a headlock on each arm and propelling into a somersault knocking two more enemies down as he kicked them on the downswing, while he released the captured pirates and sent them for a spin, tackling another group that was about to charge at him.

"This place gonna self destruct?" Ken asked as he back handed one of the sharks trying to sneak up on him.

"No, but-"

"Are we about to crash?" Ken interrupted as he kicked another foe, sending him into a group of it's fellow henchmen.

"No, but-"

"Am I or Emi in any immediate danger?"

"Not as far as I can tell, but-"

"THEN SHADDUP! I'm working here, kon!" Ken angrily yelled as he did a handstand , barely avoiding one of the laser blade slashes, grabbed one of the seemingly endless minions with his legs and slammed him towards his attacker. Ataru was starting to lose his patience.

"Listen here you moron! You're about to make a big mistake!" Ataru yelled.

"Huh? Whaddya-OOF!" Before Ken could asked he was tackled by one of the burlier like enemies, Ken flipped him off before he could squash him on the floor. All pirates took advantage of that minute distraction and the fight grew much more intense. Yelling, charging, slamming, punching, you could barely hear anyone over that racket. And Ken was stuck dead center of the chaos.

"Listen ***CRASH* **say** *BOOM* **marr-***KAPOW* **didya-***WHAM***-en?"

"ARGH, what was that! ?" Ken yelled, as fine tuned as his ears were, there was too much noise to make out the message, that and kind of hard to focus when you're was being attacked from all directions.

"I said that** *SMASH*** you do, don't** *SLAM* **-rriage!** *BOOT-TO-THE-HEAD* **you idiot!"

"AH SCREW IT! Nu, hang up!" Ken yelled as he slammed his knee on one of the many henchmen waiting for defeat.

"But Master Ken-"

"NOW, KON! !"

Nu cursed once more that order Emi gave him, it sounded like it was an important message too, but he promptly cancelled the transmission. Ken focused once more and took a low crouching stance, in an instance he thrust his fist into the air.

"_Uchuudaibakuhatsu panchi_!" [Big Bang Punch]

The Big Bang Punch, was in all essence a punch, but it was one that focused a destructive force in a point-blank to medium range, exploding outwards harming all foes but the user in it's attack area, this technique did require a very large amount of power behind it. As the large ki blast sent all minions flying, it gave Ken enough air to breathe.

"*huff* *huff* that takes care of that *huff* *huff*" Ken bitterly noticed that that little stunt made four of the foxfires vanish.

"Crap, *huff* bumped down to level five."

"Master Ken, are you alright?" Nu hovered worriedly. Ken looked a little miffed, but he managed a level tone of voice.

"Yeah, I'm OK, no thanks to Mr. M." Nu kept watching Ken intently, he noticed something very unsettling, as he analyzed the young human.

_The amount of cores, it depleted much quicker this time around! Could it be..._ Nu quickly recalled the events on Remy's starfighter, while Ken was manipulating the craft with his abilities.

* * *

_"Whoaaaaaaa! Nu, you sure this is such a hot idea! ? I've never tried anything like this before!"_

_**"...Never tried..."**_

* * *

_Could it be...that while Master Ken was under the poison's effects he had a much better control of his own abilities! ? That means...**he doesn't know how to fully use his powers! If anything I think he has a bare minimum control! He has a handicap!**_

Before Nu could continue analysing the situation any further_, _an incoming call snapped him back to reality. It was Ataru again_.  
_

"Master Ken, Lord Moroboshi still wants to contact you."

"Oh hell no! That 'important message' almost got me run over back there, Kon!"

"But it could be important-"

"Well, I don't care! Next call were making will be to report 'Mission Accomplished' and that's it!"

"I...I understand, Master Ken"

"Great, let's find the other abductees and cause some chaos" Ken grinned as he ran for the ship's cell area.

"T-then what?"

"Then...hehehe...let's go rescue a princess" [1] Ken said in a dark smirk as he kept running.

"For my marriage!"

Nu followed the reckless fighter with a worried glance, quickly remembering what his analysis revealed. _Master Ken must have shown what his latent abilities while poisoned_, _I must warn him about this before it's too late!_

* * *

Back in Oni HQ...

"Dammit! That idiot isn't answering!" Ataru yelled as he kept trying to reestablish the call, but he was only greeted by a busy line. Ataru kept trying over and over again, but to no avail, he finally crumpled in defeat in his seat. Benten dropped a companionable hand on his shoulder.

"Look, at least you tried, Moroboshi. Hell, even if you managed to get through, do ya really think this kid woulda listened to you?"

"...Probably not..." Ataru looked over at the screen, wondering what to do now. "Guess I'm getting too old for this..."

"Hey, don't talk like that! You moron, we're about the same age" Benten complained, only earning Ataru's goofy giggles, but all too soon they died out and his face took a worried frown once more. Benten noticed this and bopped him up the head, not in a way as to cause pain, but just to snap him out of it.

"Listen, the kid's a pretty reliable fighter, Emi'll come back, safe and sound. You'll see."

"...I hope so, Benten"

"I know so, Moroboshi..." Benten started walking away back to the Flagship's bridge, as she was leaving she turned and with a confident smile she said:

"You and that kid are way too stupid to know when to give up, hehe." And with that she left.

Ataru chuckled a bit at that last comment.

...

"H-HEY! I'm not as stupid as that idiot! ! !" Ataru argued, to no one but himself.

* * *

On the Selachian bridge...

"This is NOT POSSIBLE!" The Selachian Captain screamed angrily, as he saw wave after wave of his own men being pushed aside like nothing more than useless paper dolls. The human was decimating his forces on the inside, not to say they were faring much better outside the ship.

The Oni managed to sneak up on them, effectively cutting any escape route, and their star-fighters were heavily outnumbered, they were trapped like rats...and all because of that blasted human! THAT THRICE DAMNED LITTLE HUMAN! WHY DID HE HAVE TO KIDNAP THAT ROTTEN LITTLE BASTARD?

"Yahoo! Go Sweetie! No one can beat you!" The Oni princess was cheering for Ken, as she also witnessed the ongoing battle through the holographic screens that monitored the different parts of the ship. "Fight! Fight! Fight!"

"SILENCE!" The Captain yelled finally getting sick of the cheering. Ever since the attack he decided to transfer the Oni princess' bubble prison to his personal quarters, since this place was the most secure in the entire ship.

"Ha, I told ya my Sweetie would come to rescue me. You sharks are in so much trouble~" Emi singsonged, noticing how the Captain was positively fuming.

"Captain, sir! Nothing we do is even slowing down that human! He's literally bulldozing through our forces." The Lieutenant said in a panicky state.

"We're not doing any better out here! We're getting picked of by the minute!" The commander of his attack forces reported, right as he was under heavy fire.

"Let's focus on this 'Sweetie' for the moment..." The Captain decided on the more immediate threat...now that he thought about it..."What is this kid's name anyway?" He asked the Oni princess, for her part she just stuck her tongue at the Captain.

"Not gonna tell ya *Bih*"

"ARGH!" The Captain slammed his fist on the bubble prison, making it vibrate and rattle.

"EEP!" Emi squeaked as she floated in the air avoiding the bubble's surface

"Sir, please calm down!" The Lieutenant pleaded to the captain. He merely huffed a couple of times before answering

"Don't worry, I'm alright."

"I was more concerned with the Oni princess' cage"

"Hmph! Don't worry about that..." The Captain was a very burly fellow, inmense amongst his men and just as powerful to show it. He slammed his fist a couple more times on the bubble's surface, making Emi cringe for each hit.

"This thing's unbreakable." The Captain said with finality, he then turned back to the ongoing battle...

* * *

...Though to be fair, it was a little more of a one-sided beat-down as Ken travelled through the ship. One of the guards shot through the door leading to the place where Ken met Emi for the very first time, the Cell Area.

"Well, we're here. Let's release everybody." Ken said to Nu who nodded in agreement, the A.I. quickly flew towards the main controls for the cells and started releasing them one by one. Instantly leagues upon leagues of aliens started to walk out of their prisons.

"We're free?" "Someone finally came to rescue us!" "About time!" "Say, when's lunch?"

"C'mon people, get a move on, we don't have all day! Just follow the road with all the K. O. 'ed guards and you'll be fine." Ken directed all the abductees to the exit, and they all but stampeded in the way out.

* * *

On the pirate docking bay...

Remy finally finished repairing his starfighter, and was dusting off his hands, admiring his work.

"Ah, beautiful!...Just like me" He said as he admired his own reflection on the ship's surface. "Well, now to save my Emi. I am NOT gonna be shown up by some uppity brute!"

He hopped down and was about to follow the trail of pain and destruction Ken left behind, when the hangar doors opened once more, this time allowing many more space ships to land in the hangar, all of them intergalactic cabs. One of the cab drivers, a slug like creature stepped out of the leading cab.

"Huh? What're all of you doi-" Before Remy could finish his question to the cabbies, he was quickly run over by every single abductee that Ken and Nu had released a short while ago.

"OW! ***STOMP* **Watch it!** *STEP* **Hey, that-!** *TRAMPLE* **Dammit, I oughta-! ***NOT-THE-FACE!***"

"All right people, one atta time, one atta time. There's room for everyone." The taxi driver said, as he ushered all manner of aliens, of all shapes and sizes into all the space ships. Once all the abductees had boarded, the cabs left the pirate ship quickly, once the dust settled, the only one left behind was Remy, run over by all the aliens that were just rescued, if he were conscious, there would be little doubt he'd curse his own luck.

* * *

Elsewhere...

"Captain, all the prisioners have been released! They're escaping as we speak!" The selachian lieutenant reported, as she saw the events unfold via the security monitors. The Oni princess cheered gleefully.

"Hahahaha, it's just a matter of time before Sweetie gets here!"

The pirate officer glared at the Oni girl, she turned to the captain. "Captain if we move quickly maybe we could-"

"I don't care about the prisioners anymore...I want that kid DEAD!" The Captain raged as he slammed his huge fist on the armrest of his chair.

"Sir...listen!"

"WHAT! ?"

"Sir...we still have 'him'" The lieutenant malevolently said, the Pirate Captain looked at her oddly for a moment, but quickly he realized what she meant and grinned evilly himself.

Yes, he could stop that boy. "Hehehehehe...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Emi looked at the maniacally laughing pair, concerned, then she turned back to the screen showing Ken.

"Sweetie...be careful..."

* * *

"295...296...297...298...huh?"

Ken had counted all the fleeing aliens, as they all made for the exit. He scratched his head for a second.

"Hmm...hey Nu, all the cells open?"

"Yes Master Ken, I released all the cells"

"Weird..." Ken scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Meh, I probably miscounted. Let's go find Emi" Nu nodded energetically and floated to where the pony tailed former martial artist waited. As soon as they were about to reach the hallway a loud crash sounded behind them. Ken turned to see what it was.

Behind them, a gigantic armored warrior, about two stories tall, stood. The monstrousity was of a rather husky build, made of a black and silvery armor, with a ominous helmet, only a red glare shone through the helmets eyes. Weilding an equally enormous morning-star, a spiked ball of about a 2 meter diameter connected to a long chain, the enemy roared as he slammed the mace...aiming towards Ken!

"Master Ken! Watch out!" Nu yelled, but the morning star crashed on it's victim lifting a huge dustcloud. The shockwave sent Nu flying back. As he recovered he could see nothing but dust where the mace had landed.

"MASTER KEN!"

* * *

"SWEETIE!" Emi cried, as she saw the Wardroid squash the object of her crush (no pun intended).

"MWAHAHAHAHA! That's what happens to anyone who defies the Selachi Pirates!" The Captain gloated, as he cackled evilly.

Emi turned to glare at the shark pirate, fury in her eyes as she was sparking in divine rage. She let loose a lightning bolt, that only traveled uselessly along the confines of her prison, the bubble remained intact.

"Save your energy, Oni princess, your powers cannot break that prison. You have no hope now BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

The Lieutenant smirked as she saw her Captain gloating their victory, as long as the princess was in their captivity they could force the Oni to retreat, their biggest threat was done with, all that was left was to send an ultimatum to Warlord Morobo-wait what was that beeping sound?

An alert from the security screen demanded her attention. As she checked the screen her face blanched, the screen indicated there was STILL an organic life form in the Cell Area.

"T-that can't be...he was squashed! We saw it! !" She pressed a few buttons, and switched to a infrared camera mode, and her face paled even further at what she saw. Her Captain kept cackling maniacally as Emi glared daggers at the huge shark, but was interrupted as his Lieutenant tugged on his uniform.

"BWAHAHAHAHaha...Lieutenant, what are you-?" His officer said nothing and only pointed to the screen where she had been working.

"...**NO! ...IMPOSSIBLE!"**

* * *

A blast of air dispersed the smoke, and one could see the Morning-star...and Ken stopping the weapon in a vertical, 180 degree kick, beneath him a small crater was, five will o' wisps surrounding the fighter.

"Master Ken! Are you OK?" Nu worriedly asked as he double-checked with his scanners. Ken merely looked at the enormous armored fiend, then he turned to Nu.

"This guy the Captain?" He asked nonchalantly

"Uhmm...No, this is a high class Wardroid, probably under the control of the Selachi Pirates. He was probably masquerading as one of the captives."

"Well... isn't that great? A miniboss..." Ken fumed

"A mini...what?" Nu asked, slightly confused

"I. Hate. Minibosses. In a swift motioned Ken started to bend the leg holding the bludgeoning weapon, and kicked it upwards, back to it's owner, nailing the droid square in the face. Slamming his foot down, Ken squatted and jumped to a wall, as soon as he landed on the wall he launched himself to another wall...than another and another... until he was bouncing all over the place, Nu having an extreme difficulty calculating the trajectory vector, just as well as the War-droid who tried to detect it's foe. In an instant Ken shot a kick through the construct's face from it's right side, the war-droid stumbling and dropping it's morning-star, then a punch from his left, then another punch from his right and so on and so forth, the robot showing dents and scratches on it's armor. This kept going for a while and the mechanical abomination had resorted to flailing it's arms like a maniac...not that it helped any, as Ken kept managing to continue his attacks. Ken finally bounced to the wall directly in front of the droid, his feet blazing with ethereal fire.

"NU! STAY BACK! Gonna finish this in one shot!"

"Master Ken, don't! You must save your-" Nu tried to warn but the Wardroid had recovered it's weapon and was about to launch another strike, in that instant Ken shot like a bullet, twisting in the air he angled an aerial kick, his feet blazing in white flames.

"_Kometto Kikku!_" [Comet Kick]

The resulting blast kicked up a huge dustcloud, covering the area. The shock wave sent Nu bowling back to a wall, knocking the robot offline. as the dust cleared, Ken was standing behind the wardroid, he slowly turned to see the robot...seeing it now sported a very 'fashionable' hole right on it's chest, sparkling wires and broken circuits trashing form it's middle. The huge droid creaked and slammed inanimate on the floor.

Ken breathed a sigh of relief and found Nu nearby, he walked over to the feline robot and started shacking it a little. Ken examined all over until he heard a telltale boot-up sound and Nu started floating again.

"Ugh...Master Ken? What happened?" Nu asked, Ken merely smirked at the digital assitant, relieved it was all right. "Oh not much, 'cept I gave Tinman here an 'extreme piercing', hehehe"

"An extreme piercing? What do you mean a-? AUGH!" Nu floated over to examine the mechanized weapon and found the hole made right through it's chest. Nu stared at the enemy robotic machine, quite frankly shocked.

"M-m-master KEN! ? Have you ever heard of the concept of OVERKILL! ?"

"Geez, call down will ya! Stupid thing tried to flatten me like a pancake, so I figured this would be fair."

"What would be 'fair', Master Ken! ?" Nu practically screamed.

"To make him a donut, hole and all." Ken simply stated.

* * *

Back on the pirate command room...

Everyone, the captain, the lieutenant and all the other officers and cadets who were watching the fight, even Emi who was still imprisioned in her bubble cage, had faceplanted at the inane pun made by Ken. The Captain recovered first, slowly crawling up to his seat and glared at the screen.

"T-t-the punishment for puns is death!" He yelled, quite righteously

* * *

"Did you hear something just now?" Ken asked as he listened intently. Nu recovered from his momentary anti-gravity servo malfunction (caused by pun) and looked at Ken curiously before his scanners picked up something.

"Ah, Moroboshi-hime is nearby, my scanners indicate she's on this ship's bridge!" Nu stated with celerity, Ken stopped him as he saw something out of the corner of his eye, it looked like a security camera.

"Hold up a moment..." Ken said as he walked into the camera's field of vision...

* * *

"W-what is that boy doing now?" The Captain asked as he saw Ken looking directly at the camera, as if he could see them in this very room.

On screen, Ken waved at the camera and pointed at himself. The pirates stared confused at what he was trying until...

"First word: I" Emi said, figuring out he was mimicking a message.

Ken scratched his head for a second and then looked like he figured something,as he pulled out a piece of paper, wrote on it and then pretended to fall down.

"Umm...write...and fall?" The captain asked uncertain.

"Uhmm...umm...oh! Pratfall! I pratfall...wait-" The lieutenant tried to guess

"Will...I will..." Emi said, guessing correctly, both sharks looking slightly annoyed.

Then Ken drew out his wallet out of his pocket and pretended to placed some money inside, and pocket his wallet again.

"Put money...?" The Captain guessed first.

"WALLET! ...Right?" The lieutenant guessed second.

"Save. I will save..." Emi guessed correctly.

Then Ken looked over and seemed to call someone, as he said something, Nu seemingly nodded and displayed an image of Emi, as Ken pointed to her.

"H-hey! That's cheating! No pictures!" The captain yelled angry

"I will save Emi..." The Oni princess blushed heavily as she said this aloud, the message coming from Ken.

Then Ken pointed to his own eyes.

"Hmm..." The captain considered, trying to figure out the message, Emi was too starstruck to pay attention.

"Eye, eyesight, ocular organs, look-" The lieutenant tried to guess for all she was worth, but...

"Watch" The captain had guessed this time. "Hey, this is fun!" The Captain cheered, the lieutenant, annoyedly, disagreed.

Ken then pointed straight to the camera.

"I...I don't...Me?" The lieutenant confusedly tried to decipher

"You! Watch your. He he he, next one, next one!" The Shark leader guessed excitedly again.

"Will you let me guess one, Sir! ? Wait..." The lieutenant complained until she realized something.

Ken this time grinned, as he turned around and slapped his own rear, turning his head and sticking his tongue at the camera while Nu apparently reprimanded him.

"Watch. your. butt. BWAHAHAHAHA, I got it!" The Captain cheered as he guessed the second part of the message. "Wait..."

"*giggle*" Emi started giggling, as she saw the prank her Sweetie pulled on the Pirate Captain.

"Oh why that little-!" The captain raged as he started stomping on the ground, realizing what the message was. The Captain took the controls and activated the intercommunicator.

"YOU! I demand to know your name!" The irate shark demanded

"My name...?" Ken considered for a moment, then he snapped his fingers. "Kinda embarrasing but..name's Anee Damann" Ken grinned, and Nu sweatdropped. [2]

"Ha HA! So that's your name!" He reasoned, he was about to threaten Ken, but it was too late, as he saw him run off.

"Later dude!"

"Huh! ? No WAIT! Anee Damann! ANEE DAMANN!" The Captain snarled through the intercom.

"Sorry dude, but I don't swing that way! HAHAHAHAHA" Ken answered as he left the Cell Area

"*Pfft* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Emi laighed boisterously at that, quickly joined by the other pirates. The Shark Pirate leader wondered what was so funny, but too quickly did the older shark realize that he became a victim of another prank. His face turned from it's normal blue coloration an angry red.

"Why that little-! When I get my hands on you, I'll rip out your spine and strangle you with it!" The Captain snarled, as he brutally ripped out the microphone of it's stand and crushed it in a fit of rage. "ENOUGH! Lieutanant, get me my armor, now!" The Captain roared as the lieutenant ran at full speed for the equipment, the rest of his tripulation fell silent in fear. Emi on the meantime was still laughing uncontrollably.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA-!"

"Oh, SHADDUP! It wasn't that funny..." The shark fumed, and marched to get ready.

"Now it's personal!"

* * *

"Was that necessary, Master Ken?" Nu chided

"Nope, but it was totally worth it!" Ken grinned as he sniffed the air once more, and smiled as he caught the scent.

"Well, time's a wastin', Nu, let's get outta here, Emi's scent is this-a-way." Ken ran to the hallway leading directly to the ship's bridge, Nu following close behind.

"By the way, if I may ask Master Ken?" Nu asked as he scanned the earthling fighter once more.

"Yeah?" Ken asked as he kept his eyes on the path.

"Are all earth humans as gifted in their senses?"

"Heh, not really, you could say my upbringing was...special."

"I see..." Nu considered this information and filed it away

"Is that all?" Ken turned to the tiger-stripped bot

"Actually I meant to ask if there are many humans with similar prowess for combat like you?"

"There are other fighters if that's what you're askin', but any like me? Hehehehe, hell no! I'm invincible, dud-OOF!" Ken had crashed with the door to the bridge leaving a painful indentation on it.

"Itai...who's bright idea was to leave a door right here! ? ?" Ken asked as he pried his body of the metallic double entrance. Nu hovered in front of the door, sweatdropping.

"Master Ken, you should watch where you are going." Nu reprimanded, only earning himself an annoyed scowl, courtesy of the pony-tailed fighter "This seems to be it, the bridge to the Selachi Pirate vessel."

"Well then, open it" Ken suggested. Nu hovered in front of the door, as he did so, various holographic screens showed up in front of Nu, as the robot patiently decrypted the door's security Nu turned to the fighter, a serious expression on his face.

"Master Ken, I feel it is my duty to inform you, that your capabilities in the area of self-defense aren't up to par with previous analysis of former iterations." Nu informed in all seriousness, multitasking as he kept unlocking the entrance.

Ken scratched his head, a confused look on his face "Let's try that again, but this time in japanese, ok?"

"You are not fighting as well as you should've" Nu deadpanned, Ken took an offended expression. "Oe! Didn't I just plow through a whole ship's worth of baddies?"

Nu shook his head (which incidentally, qualified as his entire body) "You were fighting much more skillfully and efficiently when you were poisoned." Ken was surprised, he did know that battle had been intense but to have shown a completely different level of skill? Now he cursed that he wasn't able to remember the fight. "I beg you to exercise caution when dealing with-"

"Relax...so maybe it turns out I haven't been on my 'A' game as much as I thought." Ken sighed, but instantly a confident smirk appeared on his face. "But still, other than my 'rents, I haven't lost a single fight against anybody."

"But Master Ken-"

"I'm not gonna lose today, we'll take Emi back. I promise." Ken confidently said, Nu looked at the youth, amazed, then and there he finally decided to trust the young man's judgement.

"Understood, Master Ken!" Nu quickly refocused his efforts on unlocking the door, Ken leaned to a side of the door and watched his surroundings...something didn't seem right...How come there weren't any more guards since they left the cell area? Also, what was that sound?

"Crap!" Ken grabbed Nu instantly and crossed his arms in front of his face in a defensive stance. "M-master Ken, wha-?" before Nu could complain, the doors burst open in an explosion, Ken managed to jump away to a safe distance as he saw beyond the doors. Inside a couple dozen of the Selachi Pirate officers, armed to the teeth, positioned at both sides of the room awaited Ken, In the middle of the room was the ship's main controls, and siting at the 'throne' was the Selachi Pirate Captain himself. A large 3 meter Shark man, wearing an immense battle armor, with a cannon fitted on one of it's arms, with a face scarred by thousands of battles glared at the youth, beside him was his faithful Lieutenant wearing a tight fitting jumpsuit armed with a what seemed like a rifle, and beyond them was Emi, trapped in a bubble-like prison connected in place by a huge device connected to the roof.

"NU-CHAN! SWE-Er...I mean KEN! " Emi yelled

"Moroboshi-hime!"

"Emi, don't worry, we'll get you outta there"

"You shall do no such thing, boy." The Captain gave a few steps towards towards Ken, and pointed his cannon at the young fighter.

"The Oni princess is ours, and your battle ends here!" The arm-cannon hummed ominously as it charged with power.

Ken entered the bridge, cracked his knuckles and just grinned, six foxfires appearing around him.

"Sorry, dude, but this fight's just getting started!"

Ken crouched down and charged at the Captain, the other officers and cadets trying to stand in his way, just to be pushed aside by the unstoppable tackle. Once Ken was in range, he jumped towards the Shark Captain, his fist enveloped in white fire, Ken yelled:

**"I'm gonna save the princess, FOR MY MARRIAGE!"**

Emi looked dumbfounded for a second, her heart skipped a beat, as her face turned a deep shade of red as she heard those words.

"W-w-what did he just say! ?" Emi squealed, overtly excited.

* * *

Cherry was sitting with Kotatsuneko over at the vacant lot that had been nicknamed 'Cherry Heights', Kotatsuneko sitting with his trademarked kotatsu and sipping some tea. Cherry contemplated the skies.

"I sense a great battle is about to take place, one that will decide the fate of many." Cherry mused, as he looked upon the stars. Kotatsuneko merely nodded in turn.

To be continued...

* * *

_[1] Little parody to TF2's "Meet the Medic" video, or at least an attempt to it_

_[2] I know this joke really only works in english, and wouldn't quite work if we consider that most players in this story have japanese as a native language, but try not to take this little detail too seriously._

A/N: As always, please read and review_  
_


	11. To the Rescue! Part 3

Chapter 11 "To the Rescue! Part 3: Final battle!"

All original cast and elements of Urusei Yatsura belong to Rumiko Takahashi The OCs are mine though.

Enjoy if you will.

* * *

Tomobiki was always an interesting place to live, what with all the alien invasions, reality-altering shenanigans, and other paranormal nonsense that occurred on a near daily basis? But once Tomobiki's infamous Letcher and the Oni Princess left the planet, a sense of normalcy returned. However an ominous wind blew through the streets of this fair town. Twenty seven years have passed by and a new player arrives to Tomobiki, Ken Aoki, a fighter from Kyoto with a mysterious past and one who had received the title of "Invincible Demon-Fox". Tomobiki will become the epicenter of all weirdness and chaos once more.

* * *

***CRASH***

Ken slammed his fist square on the Shark Captain, the Selachian had reacted quickly and crossed it's arms to block the punch, as the force of the blow made the space-faring captain skid quite the distance. The armor enveloping his arms was smoking lightly, but it didn't show bigger signs of damage. The captain lowered his guard and glared at the boy. The first he saw him, the seasoned, war-weary criminal had recognized the battle potential in the youth, more so than on the seemingly stronger girl accompanying him that fateful day. He had literally plowed through legions of his men, and have in a short instance ruined all his plans.**  
**

Plans...that involved overthrowing the Oni empire. Yes, there were rumors and tales of the current warlord being nigh indestructible, thus why he scoured the galaxy for unique individuals, all of them possesing a talent for combat. He knew Warlord Moroboshi was an idiot, and unfit to control one of the most powerful forces in the galaxy, so the pirate plotted to seize control of it. The boy could've become a valuable soldier to their cause, perhaps there was still time...

Ken was ready to strike at the Captain once more "WAIT!" -but was stopped short when the Pirate yelled, the room stood still everyone expecting an answer from the older shark. Ken kept his guard, fists still ablaze with white fire. The Captain...

"he he he he..."

...he started to laugh...

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA...Boy!" He addressed the pony-tailed one "I commend you on making it this far. There aren't many warriors in the universe who have the skill and strength you possess."

Ken scoffed, but kept a clear awareness of his surroundings, many of the other pirates where still conscious, and he had noticed the lady lieutenant with her rifle trained at him, in total there were over a dozen enemies. Nu kept close to the terran fighter, a nervous look shone on the robot's display (which incidentally was his eyes). Ken decided to indulge the final bos-er... the Captain and listened to what he had to say.

"Heh, I AM pretty talented." Ken boasted, earning himself confused looks from Nu and from Emi, who had snapped out of her love-struck daze some while ago.

"Exactly, I have a proposal for you." The Captain smirked, with a near predatory grin.

"...I'm listenin'..." Nu was shocked, was this boy's intent...betrayal! Though Nu leveled a glare and was about to berate the youth, the robot quickly noticed another of the pirates, dangerously close to him, his self-preservation protocol demanded for him to 'shut up and just watch', lest he angers their foes needlessly. Emi just kept staring intently, wether she was sad or upset, was anyone's guess.

"Work for me, boy. You are, bar-none, the best fighter I've ever seen. I'll even make you second-in command."

"WHAT! ?" Came the offended screech from his lieutenant, but the Captain merely shot a quick glare to further silence any objections.

"Me workin' for you? Why should I?" Ken reasoned, ignoring the outburst just now

"Because..." The sharkman turned to the human fighter "With your power, we might build a new army, **to overthrow the Oni!**"

"T-That is your plan! ?" Nu exclaimed, shocked. "That's why you've been abducting various aliens from around the galaxy! ?"

"Precisely" The Selachian glared at the robot, Ken meanwhile scratched his chin contemplatively. "Huh, kinda makes sense why you guys kidnapped me now."

"So what do you say, join me! As long as we have the princess in our power, the Oni won't **dare** raise a finger against us!"

Ken looked behind the Captain, and saw the ongoing dogfights, the pirates on the losing side of course. "I dunno, dude. They're doing a really good job kicking your tail-fin."

"Urk!" The Captain was taken aback as he recalled the status of the ongoing battle outside, but quickly recovered his wits. "...Pfeh, a mere setback, we haven't fought at our might because I was trying to stop you."

"Fat load of good that did." Ken deadpanned

"Yes...quite, so instead, let us stop this useless battle, and join me as a partner." The Captain smugly smirked, in a devilish kind of way.

Ken though for a few moments, eyes closed as he considered the options, he was presented with quite the opportunity...

"You know what?" Ken extended his left arm, the white flames dispersing from his hands, and signaling for a handshake. Nu looked about to blow a fuse at this new turn of events, and glared with as much hate as his digital soul could conjure, however Emi kept staring, her expression unreadable. The Captain extended his own hand and shook the young fighter's in an amicable manner, he couldn't help but ask. "What?" Ken grinned, however this lasted for just a moment, as instantly his expression darkened. It was then, that Emi smiled...

"Dude...

**You're a bigger idiot than I thought you were**." Ken said, flatly

"_Soru Eikoudan_" [Sol Flare Bomb]

Before the Shark alien could react, Ken's right hand was enveloped in the white flames once more and he delivered a punishing uppercut to the Captain, effectively lifting him clear off the ground and delivering the villain against the command console at the other side of the room, smashing it to bits. The blow left a nasty looking bruise, as well as it managed to knock some teeth out, the Captain rubbed his sore jaw, almost certain that it was broken, he felt not like he had received a mere uppercut, but that a meteor crash landed on his jaw! This boy was a monster!

Everybody stared at the fighter, Nu was actually glad for the young man's two-faced nature for once, and Emi just smiled warmly at her hero, her knight in...well, a monochromatic jumpsuit, but you get the point.

"W-why?" The Captain asked recovering his footing, Ken glared at the alien, the selachian feeling his insides turn to ice by the tranquil fury behind the fighter's eyes.

"I may be a delinquent. I may be a scoundrel. I may be a trickster. But I am also a man of my word." Ken turned to look at Nu and then at Emi, giving them a confident smile. "Emi saved me back then, and I promised to save her."

"Sweetie..." Emi whispered

"Master Ken, I shall never doubt you again!" Nu nearly teared up

"You...you...you **insufferable MORON! GUARDS! KILL HIM!**" The Captain roared, ignoring the pain of his jaw. All the pirates charged at the Ken. He merely grinned and assumed a stance once more, this time both arms crossed in front of him.

"Time to end this..."

**"HISATSU: Kitsune-ken Zenryoku!" [Finishing move: Fox's fist All One's Might]**

The pony tailed fighter was covered in white flames, his aura made visible, as all the remaining kitsune-bi joined the blazing fire that was Ken. A fiery white aura covered Ken where he was standing, as he sowly took an attack stance, the pirates cowered at the pressure Ken's Ki was emiting, Nu watched dumbfounded, Emi blushed hotly. Ken disappeared, and reappeared in front of one unsuspecting pirate, slamming a destructive punch and sending the foe flying, then he disappeared and reappeared and attacked each and every pirate. Nu fired his scanners once more.

_Master Ken is pushing his body to it's limits! His speed and strength have exponentially increased, he may seem to be teleporting, but he's just moving at an extreme speed, however...If Master Ken _k_eeps this up...his body may suffer severe damage!_

The Captain felt for the nth time this day that he could not believe his eyes, but it no longer mattered, aiming his arm cannon he tried to get a clear shot as Ken defeated his men one by one. The Lieutenant was trying hard to get a clear shot on the boy as well, but he moved so quickly. Suddenly Ken appeared behind the Lieutenant and tapped her shoulder, when she turned to look, Ken had already moved in front of her and took her rifle.

"Wanna know what I hate more than minibosses?" Ken asked.

"Wha-?"

"Snipers." In a single move, Ken crushed the rifle in his hands, rolling it up till it was an indeterminate ball of metal, and tossed it over his shoulder. The Lieutenant, now defenseless, sank to her knees, awaiting the boy's attack. Suddenly Ken expression shifted from smug to panic...

*Ka-chunk*

Someone was about to shoot them.

"WATCH OUT!" Ken dove and grabbed the lieutenant, just in time as a huge ball of destructive energy razed through and through, passing right where both of them had been standing a mere moments ago. Ken was holding the female pirate in his arms [Emi fumed angrily at this scene], as they both directed their eyes towards the attacker...the Captain himself.

"C-c-captain...?" The Selachian woman stuttered, unbelieving, Ken on the meantime glared at the Captain,. "Attacking your own allies? You're the lowest of the low."

"You betcha!" Emi yelled, and Nu forcefully nodded.

"Silence! ALL OF YOU SILENCE!" The Captain fired another shot this time at Emi.

"Kyah!"

"MOROBOSHI-HIME!"

"**EMI!" **Ken yelled, fortunately the blast bounced uselessly on the bubble prison, knocking the Oni girl to the side of the prison and into unconsciousness. Ken glared at the Captain and laid down the shark woman. He stood once more, his aura blazing brighter than ever before.

"NU! How's Emi! ?"

"M-m-Moroboshi-hime is alright, she's just unconscious, her prison received the brunt of the attack." Ken breathed a sigh of relief to hearing that, his glare intensified as he turned to the Captain.

"_Unforgivable..._" Ken marched slowly towards his enemy,it was true though, what the villain just did? Unforgivable...the Captain visibly panicked.

"S-stay back!" He fired another shot, to which Ken instantly side-stepped, not stopping for a moment, the Captain shot again and again...

"Stay Back! Don't come any closer! I-i-I'm warning you! !" ...but Ken sidestepped every attack, his aura blazing as his eyes were shinning with the same tranquil fury that made the Sharkman's blood go ice artic. He stepped back trying to put distance as he kept firing shot after shot, but Ken pressed on, soon the Captain was backed literally to a wall. One last shot, at point-blank range, managed to hit Ken dead-on, but when the smoke cleared, he was still standing, no worse for wear...or so it seemed...

"I-i-i-impossible!" The Captain lowered the arm-cannon, now truly out of options.

"P-please, we can t-talk this out! J-just don't kill me!"

"...I would never take another's life..." Ken said in a low voice, the Captain seemed relieved for a second but it ended when Ken grabbed the Captain from the neck of his armor. "...As a matter of fact, I won't **allow** you to die..."

The older Pirate, started to turn pale.

"_Zenryoku Nagareboshi Suto-mu!_" [All One's Might Meteor Storm]

Punishing fist after punishing fist shot against the Captain, his armor warped and his face distorted, teeth flying of in all directions. When Ken finished, the puffy, extremely bruised, unrecognizable face of the Captain was what he had to show for his effort, unconscious after the attack. The lieutenant decided to escape then and there, running for the exit as fast as she could. Nu started to hover close to Ken once more as he saw the youth releasing the pirate form his grasp, the villain crumpling in a heap at Ken's feet. The boy turned to walk towards Emi, but fell quickly on his hands and knees.

"Ugh!" Ken nearly collapsed, the blazing aura, extinguished.

"Master Ken! Are you injured! ?"

Ken for his part weakly chuckled. "R-relax, Nu...Just went a lil' overboard with that last technique." Ken shook his head, trying to clear the cobwebs that were beginning to form in his mind. Nu sighed in relief. "Master Ken! That was an utterly reckless thing you just did! Using all your power in one single go? Unbelievable..." Nu reprimanded, Ken tried to raise himself on one knee, this simple act taking a great considerable effort, it was then that Nu noticed a small, diminutive flame still hovering near the fighter.

"It got the job done, didn't it? Hehehe-urk!" Ken nearly fell down once more, Nu hovering nearby and analysing the youth.

* * *

SUBJECT: Ken Aoki

STATUS: **WARNING! Heavy damage to ribcage area, scan confirms 3 broken ribs. Medical attention required immediately.**

_3 Broken ribs! ? But when-?_

* * *

_...One last shot, at point-blank range, managed to hit Ken dead-on..._

_That last blast! Ken must've been injured then! This is bad!_

* * *

Emi started to wake up, shaking her head, she was slightly dazed but otherwise unharmed. It was good fortune that she inherited her father's resilience. She looked around and saw the Pirates all lying unconscious or embedded in the walls as the case was, the Captain lying in a crumpled heap, only his moans of pain the only indication that the alien shark was still alive, the shark woman nowhere to be seen (Good!) and Ken clutching his side in pain while Nu scanned him over.

"Nu! Swee-er Ken!"

"Moroboshi-hime!"

"Y-yo, Emi, what's up? Erk!" Ken tried to cooly say hi, but failed when the pain on his side flared up again. Ken tried his best to stand up and ignore the pain, and walk over to where Emi was...stiffly of course to make sure not to move the injured side of his body. It made Ken look like one of those stiff dolls that couldn't bend their legs, his face tried to hide the pain as best as he could.

"Ken! Are you all right?"

"Never better, babe. Hehe *ow* hehehe *ow* hehe..." He laughed, all the while with a goofy expression.

"...For reals?" Emi wasn't entirely convinced, Ken shook his head and regained a more normal expression.

"Y-yeah, chill, we'll get you outta there. Nu, your turn." The little robot nodded, all to eager to comply.

"Right away, Master Ken!"

Nu brought up various holograms as he tried to decrypt the lock of Emi's cage.

"Moroboshi-hime, I must say I'm very disappointed in your actions, to let yourself be kidnapped, even to make us bring the armada here all because you refused-"

"Ken, are you sure you're OK? You look in pain."

"Relax relax, this is nothing for me! 'Tis but a flesh wound' Hahaha *ow* haha."

Nu looked annoyed as his Mistress was ignoring his reprimand completely, oh he was SO going to tell Lady Lum about this! Nu found the attempts to unlock the cage much more difficult than he initially believed. The teenagers not helping to the robot's concentration.

"Anyway, let me work unlocking this before something else-"

**ALERT ALERT ALERT- SELF DESTRUCTION SEQUENCE ACTIVATED. T - 10 MINUTES. PLEASE EVACUATE THE SHIP IN AN ORDERLY MANNER.  
**

Everyone blanched, Ken and Emi turned to glare at Nu for invoking Murphy's Law. Everyone else turned to where the Captain was. The Pirate Captain was barely standing, in fornt of the command console of his ship! His face still deformed in a puffed out state as he chuckled weakly and crumpled once more.

"None of you will survive! Hehehe-urk!"

"...Hrmm...called it..." Ken grunted, annoyed. The unconscious pirates all over the ship woke up to the blaring alarm and all as one ran like hell towards the hangar. Ken jumped and chased down the shark alien responsible for this, ignoring the pain of his broken ribs, but the Captain pressed another set of commands and instantly an enormous capsule surged up from the floor. The Captain jumped inside and the hatch closed off, sealing the sharkman inside the escape pod, Ken uselessly slammed his fist toward the window, growling feraly, as the escape pod sank back down the floor and disappeared. All the while the Captain saying:

"I'll see you in hell, idiot"

...And with that, he was gone.

"...Well, that *agh!* s-sucks..."

* * *

Remy was recovering consciousness, and shaking his head, he stood straight.

"Idiots...but no matter." he took out a comb and fixed his hair to it's former glory. Just about then the Pangalactic Cabs returned to the docking bay, all 35 of them, and Remy looked at them oddly.

"You guys are back?" Remy asked, pocketing his comb. The same slug like alien cabbie hopped down from his ship and addressed Remy on behalf of the taxi cabbies.

"Yeah, Mac. Miss Benten told us to wait for a...ahem lemme see..." The cabbie ruffled his pockets looking for something, he pulled out a small device and started pressing some buttons. "Ah here we go, we have to wait for a 'kitsune youkai'..."

"Heh heh, yeah" a spiteful laugh, but that kitsune deserved worse

"...An Oni girl..."

"Of course."

"...A Tigerball A.I. butler..."

"Yes yes..."

"...and a goofy-looking Tiger-cow..."

"Yes, I underst-**GOOFY-LOOKING! ?**" Remy furious spat that last one, clearly refering to the Tiger-cow Oni himself.

"Oh yeah, we have to wait for anyone left behind, and take any captured pirates back to the Oni base." The cabbie finished, but Remy wasn't done with the alien taxi driver.

"Listen here you, I have half a mind to-"

***RUMBLE***

A rumble began shaking the entire room, slowly increasing in strength. An alarm blared all of a sudden as well as a computerized display appeared, a countdown of ten minutes started.

**ALERT ALERT ALERT- SELF DESTRUCTION SEQUENCE ACTIVATED. T - 10 MINUTES. PLEASE EVACUATE THE SHIP IN AN ORDERLY MANNER.**

Remy paled as he recognized that sound, specially since not too long ago he was victim of the stampede that caused it, he knew he'd regret it, but still he turned to see...

"Mommy..."

...the stampede of pirates. They all ran over the unlucky Oni, who knew this was Ken's fault in someway.

"Wait, plea-!** *STAMPEDE* **Ow! c'mon** *STOMP* **Enough alrea-** *FLATTEN* **This is getting ridicu- ***SMUSH* **You people su-** *OWIE* **ck..**"**

"All right, same as the first group, one atta time, c'mon, move it, move it. You're all pirates, right? Eh whatever, we'll let the Oni sort that out" The cabbie directed all the escaping pirates into all the taxis. Remy once more flattened on the floor, this time one taxi stayed behind.

"...Aren't... you... gonna... leave?" Remy weakly asked

"Nah Mac, gotta wait for those people I mentioned." The slug cabbie scratched his chin momentarily "Yo mac, ya seen a goofy-looking tiger-cow 'round here?"

"...Hate...you...SO...MUCH..." Then Remy's world turned black...again

* * *

"Nu...ugh...WHAT THE HELLS THE DAMN *ow* HOLDUP! ?"

Nu worked as quickly as the little A.I. butler could, but the encryption on the bubble cage was heavy, and now they faced a countdown of...

**T - 7 MINUTES TO SELF-DESTRUCTION  
**

Nu looked at the various encryptions, hopeless, he couldn't finish on time! The feline robot turned to Ken, before today he saw thew earthling youth as nothing more of a punk, a delinquent and overall a scoundrel, but now he saw the battered and injured youth who fought so valiantly for his mistress...and it was **him** who was going to let them all down.

"I...I...can't..." Nu instantly closed off all the holographic windows in defeat. "F-forgive me, Master Ken, Moroboshi-hime..."

"Nu..." Emi whispeed, feeling sorry for the little robot.

It was hopeless, Nu had scanned the bubble prison when he had entered the room, it was made of a special polymer alloy, indestructible by any means. The cage looked to be embedded on the room, there was no way to remove it, and the youth had already done so much for them...all to fail just short of the finish line, there was no more time, what could they hope to do now?

"Argh...LIKE HELL WE'RE GONNA DIE HERE!" Ken yelled, the one little flame flaring up once more in a full blaze.

The fighter walked to the cage and took a stance, readying his right arm into a punch.

"Emi! Brace yourself!" The young man warned. Emi nodded and shrunk into a ball. When she had finally braced, Ken's slammed a punch on the bubble, the material resonating. Emi flinched as she felt the vibrations pass through, but then she opened an eye to look survey the state of her prison, Ken stood there for a moment until-

"**FUCK! **That hurt!" -the youth clutched his now bruised hand.

"Master Ken, it's hopeless...you...you must escape!"

Ken glared at the bubble once more. No, he refused to lose so close to his goal. Emi looked at Ken sadly, Ken's eyes met with hers, he could see a deep sadness in those blue and brown eyes

"Ken...I'm sorry...you gotta escape!"

...but Emi then saw his golden eyes, shinning with conviction and resolution.

"*huff* Sorry Emi, but I'm way too stubborn to do that."

"Sweetie..." She inaudibly whispered

Nu merely stared at the boy, his own display fogging up in tears [of oil, mind you]

**T - 6 MINUTES TO SELF-DESTRUCTION  
**

Ken cursed at the clock, and slammed his fist again on the bubble. Emi flinched again as the shock made the her cage shake. Ken was breathing heavily, his left hand clutching his side. He backed up again and slammed another devastating punch...which only managed to shake the bubble a little. Ken groaned, the pain on his side become more and more unbearable, but a quick shake of his head, and he restored his conviction. One more punch...then another... and another...

**T - 5 MINUTES TO SELF-DESTRUCTION  
**

"SHADDUP! it-itai..." Ken yelled at the computerized voice, as he slammed his fist once more, a splatter of blood leaking from his knuckles.

"M-master Ken! That is enough! you can't keep going like th-"

"Nu!" The former martial artist interrupted, in a weak, albeit forceful yell

"Nu...get to the hangar...get everything ready *huff* for escape...*huff* can you do that?"

"Master Ken..."

"C-can you?" Nu kept staring at the youth, even to his digital recorders, the robot could see it. A sense of stubborn conviction, the youth would not allow himself, or his mistress to perish today.

"Yes, Master Ken! By your leave!" The machine hovered away at top speed, Ken smiled as the bot sped off.

**T - 4 MINUTES TO SELF-DESTRUCT-**

"WE KNOW !" Both teenagers yelled in unison. Ken instantly went back to hammer his bleeding fist to the cage, the bubble reverberating in a constant tempo. But nothing, not even a crack! Emi kept watch no longer flinching to the shocks as she floated, Ken was too tired to notice this.

**T - 3 MINUTES TO SELF-DESTRUCTION**

Ken looked up to the computerized display counting down, desperate, then he looked at Emi inside the bubble. Was this it? Was this the limit of what he could do? Was this the limit of the 'Invincible Ken'? Of the 'Strongest Fighter in the World'? Of Kenichi Aoki?

**"HELL NO!"**

Ken took a few steps back, and focused into a stance, closing his eyes, bringing both fists to his sides, the one lone kitsune-bi blazed. A feral growl erupted from the youth's lips. Emi could only watched enraptured as she saw Ken's eyes open, shinning white like the sun, a frightening vision, seeing the young fighter covered in white fire once more, but the young man smiled at her.

"Stand back" He said with a level voice.

Emi braced once more, Ken pulled his right fist back, though all his body was surrounded in ethereal fire, it concentrated heavily on his fist. Ken looked at his latest opponents, the countdown clock, the unbreakable bubble...and finally despair.

**"ZENRYOKU..."**

No, he was not going to lose, not today, not ever! No one could stop him! No one could defeat him! Today was not gonna be the day he would lose!

**"...KYUBI NO KITSUNE..."**

Bring it! Any foe! Human or not! Big or small! He didn't care! He was going to win...

**"...MUTEKI NO KEN! ! !"[*]**

_...just try an' stop me!_

The punch slammed fully on the cage this one vibrating constantly. The young man still engulfed in white fire. Then suddenly...

***CRACK***

...a crack! Then another and another! Emi could only stare in complete disbelief, just a little more...

_...you can do it, Sweetie!_

The bubble kept cracking each time more, Ken, his arm almost looking like it was rocket propelled, his hair unraveled from the ponytail into a sea of black, then blazed in fury as he pushed the fist further into the material. In that instant he finally yelled:

_**"FOR MY MARRIAGE! ! !"**  
_

***CRASH***

The bubble cracked completely, the shards blasting away from the forceful impact, Emi used her own natural ability to dodge all the shards that flew around, there were benefits to being a Moroboshi...

Ken merely smiled as he saw her floating out of where the bubble laid, his vision going blurry, the foxfire all extinguished. Ken dropped to his knees, but before he could hit the floor, Emi picked the terran warrior.

"You did a good job Sweetie, now it's my turn." She said as she planted a kiss on the unconscious fighter's cheek.

Emi effortlessly picked him up, floating some distance from the ground, and blasted off in a speed that would make even bullets go green with envy. Another talent of the Moroboshi, no one could escape quite like them.

* * *

Nu had arrived, to his luck a Pangalactic cab was patiently waiting. After loading an completely unconscious [as well as utterly useless] Remy, they kept waiting, Nu hoping against hope to see Emi and Ken arrive.

**T - 2 MINUTES FOR SELF-DESTRUCTION**

"Yo Mac...not to complain or anything, but are those two gonna get here, we're sort of cutting it close as it is..."

"...they'll be here..." Nu repeated, though it sounded more like a hopeless mantra.

**T - 60 SECONDS TO SELF-DESTRUCTION**

Where were they! ? He couldn't go back and abandon his mistress, the girl who had built him from scratch, programmed him and accepted him as a part of her family, he couldn't abandon the young master fighter, who more through actions rather than words demonstrated his courage and valor, though somewhat reckless...he just couldn't abandon him for what he went through to save-

"Sorry Mac, but I ain't gonna wait any more!"

Before Nu could object, a piercing cry resounded in the room.

"WAIT!"

It was Emi's voice! And soon enough the Oni girl appeared floating, carrying an unconscious Ken, his right arm completely bloodied and dripping, a nasty purple color around the limb. A quick analysis revealed that Ken had effectively **broken** his arm in releasing Emi.

"Moroboshi-hime! Master Ken!"

"'Bout damn time, princess! We gotta get outta here-"

**T - 10, 9, 8, 7...**

"-And now!" the cabbie complained

Emi quickly boarded the cab, carrying a knocked out Ken and Nu following close behind. The cab revved up it's motors and speed off at full speed, the abandoned ship kept blaring the alarm.

**...4, 3, 2, 1, 0. HAVE A NICE DAY!**

The ship exploded, rocking the cab forcefully. The driver stepped on the gas pedal as hard as he could, trying his best to out run the explosion, that was threatening to incinerate. Emi and Nu prepared for the impact as best as they could, the Oni princess holding Ken tightly in her arms, the long-haired youth opened an eye and reached for a wall on the ship with his left hand...

* * *

Ataru and Benten were warned that the ship was about to explode, time had been running out, and Ataru tried to contact the tiger-stripped robot and it's wayward companion. When he saw the ship explode in front of his eyes, that was it, he dropped to his knees. Benten covered her mouth, a look of utter despair in her eyes, no, this wasn't supposed to happen! Ataru's eyes were completely glazed over...his own daughter...that boy...he couldn't save her in the end...

**INCOMMING CALL**

Benten and Ataru both looked at each other as they saw the message displayed on screen, a communications officer typed at the screen furiously.

"Warlord Moroboshi...it's from TigerBall A.I. Name: Nu!"

"PATCH HIM THROUGH!" Both Ataru and Benten yelled in unison, the engineer nodded and typed a command into his console. On the main screen, static appeared as the communications window was displayed, after a few suspenseful seconds, the signal cleared up...

...on screen where Remy on the back seat, covered in footprints and drooling, completely unconscious; Nu, scuffed up and with a small crack on his display, smiling; Emi, hair ruffled and a little messy with a huge smile on her face, and finally Ken...who sported his hair now loose, his jumpsuit torn and ragged and also sporting the biggest grin of them all, and thought his arm looked to have been though a wood chipper, he still grinned like an idiot, Emi hugging the injured boy, and the cabbie trying to get in frame from a corner of the screen. Ataru teared up, seeing his daughter safe and sound, Benten lowered her head, so she could hide her tears, both were smiling.

Ken was the first to speak, making a victory sign, he said weakly:

"Yo...Mr. M...

**MISSION COMPLETE**

To be continued...

* * *

[*] All One's Might Nine-tailed Fox's Invincible Fist

A/N: Review and comment please, also , I'm not done yet with this story


	12. Ken Returns!

Chapter 12 "Ken returns!"

All original cast and characters of Urusei Yatsura belong to Rumiko Takahashi. I own only the OCs

Enjoy if you will

A/N: I made a minor change in the story in cas anyone's wondering, I also made the change in one of the previous chapters. Just so you know.

A/N2: MWAHAHAHAHA! I've been waiting for these chapters =)

* * *

Tomobiki was always an interesting place to live, what with all the alien invasions, reality-altering shenanigans, and other paranormal nonsense that occurred on a near daily basis? But once Tomobiki's infamous Letcher and the Oni Princess left the planet, a sense of normalcy returned. However an ominous wind blew through the streets of this fair town. Twenty seven years have passed by and a new player arrives to Tomobiki, Ken Aoki, a fighter from Kyoto with a mysterious past and one who had received the title of "Invincible Demon-Fox". Tomobiki will become the epicenter of all weirdness and chaos once more.

* * *

**Friday 12 P.M. -****Nerima, Tomobiki - Tomobiki Highschool [Earth]**  


Class was in session and all around the school the students, diligently studied and learned their lessons...well, most of them anyways.

Usagi was worried, she kept watching outside the class window, lost in thought. It had been three days and Ken...or rather** Kenichi** was a no-show. Her mother had tried arguing with Shuutarou Mendou, in hopes that they could use his wealth to make a spacecraft capable of reaching the Oni planet. But the billionaire had quickly shot down that idea...

* * *

_"I'm sorry, Shinobu. Even if we built a craft capable for a long distance voyage, we have no idea where the Oni homeworld is located. We'd probably be adrift in space, lost, the moment we leave the Sol system..." said the Mendou head of family  
_

* * *

As it was, no one knew what to do. Bantarou and his gang instead of celebrating, now feared for their lives, the reason? A gang war was nearing soon...

Rumors of the 'Invincible demon- fox's' absence had reached to all points of Tomobiki. All gangs from all the schools were getting ready to take Tomobiki once more. Understandably, Bantarou and co. were fearful, their faces akin to death-row inmates, awaiting execution, but the blonde girl could care less for the four losers.

She felt sorry for the foxes, Ken's family...

* * *

_"We...can't leave..." Hikaru sadly said, then picked his face up, a look of conviction in the small fox's eyes. "This town is the best place to wait for Kenichi." The little fox declared, earning an aprobatory nod from all his seniors._

_"Ken is bound to return here, we will wait here for him...even if we must wait forever." Chika further explained "We vowed to protect the Aoki clan on behalf of Goddess Inari... so we have to hope Kenichi returns...soon"_

* * *

It was sad, the kitsune truly cared for the wayward youth. Even now, she saw Hikaru, masquerading as Ken, writing down notes diligently, all for his familiar's sake. She couldn't help but feel angry at Ken...ichi.

For lying to them, and for making them all worry like so. What possible reason could he have to justify this? That darned kitsune youkai...However...

At the same time, Usagi could help but worry for the young man's well-being. The title of 'invincible' had struck on him, and he often boasted that, truly believing himself to be matchless in any fight. But Usagi knew, that Ken was not in his best condition. As she recalled a conversation she had, a few days ago with the vulpine-like boy...

* * *

_"Ken, what do you think about all this 'invincible' business?" Usagi asked as she was making idle conversation, all the while playing another friendly match on the young fighter's game console. Ken was trying to find an opening for his character, but unfortunately he found his favorite character, Ragna, on the wrong end of Rachel Alucard's punishing thunder-strike attack[1]. Ken gripped the controller, mashing buttons as he always did when he was getting desperate, he really couldn't understand how the blond girl playing beside him had gotten so good at this game, to the point she could casually talk with the pony-tailed youth and still annihilate him._

_"EH? What're ya talking about? [Now atta-wait nononononono]"_

_"You don't actually **believe **you're invincible, do you?"  
_

"_Well...what if I am?[crap]...no one's been able to- [no no no! Dodge dammit!]...give me a good enough challenge...[oh c'mon! T-that's not fair!]" The youth managed to say, trying his hardest to defeat Usagi for once... though that wouldn't happen today._

_"Are you for real? You shouldn't let it get to your head! Pride always comes before the fall!" Usagi reprimanded, concerned as she quickly entered a combo sequence on her controller. Rachel twirled, released an electric frog, set up another one of those thrice damned lightning rods and basicly juggled the poor pixelated form of Ragna in a festival of electric pain, ending with another one of those blasted rods and the finishing move an enormous lightning strike from the heavens. The announcer declared the victory with a cry of '**Distortion Finish**' followed by a '**Rachel Wins!**'. Ken could only stare in complete defeat, then with his head hung low, he decided to answer Usagi's question._

_"You now I've been on a nigh daily diet of beating up punks and delinquents, right?"_

_Usagi didn't like it, but it was true, if any of the other gangs started picking on any defenseless students, Ken would appear nearby to beat them to a pulp. But it was already typical of him to do that, and many student's appreciated the bully pummelings. "So? It's a big world out there, no matter how good you are, there's always someone better than you."_

_"You're starting to sound like my mom.." Ken said in a low, disgruntled voice_

_"Huh, did you say something?"_

_"EH! ? AH! No, hehehe, n-nothing important..." Ken sweat-dropped, rule number one, never compare a girl to your mother...**ever**.  
_

_"Hmm...well, anyway..." Usagi continued "One of these days, you're gonna meet your match, and if you keep that attitude you're gonna regret it."_

_"Huh...so what do you suggest?" Ken bitterly asked, as he picked himself up and watched the 'character selection' screen. Wondering who to pick next._

_"Well... maybe you should start training..."_

_"Training? Ah, c'mon Bunny! As if I need it!"  
_

_"But Kitsune-" "Not-a-kitsune" "Practice is important! Even your fighting skills will rust if you don't keep pushing forward! You could ask around some local dojos or-"_

_"This again? I'm retired, R-E-T-I-R-E-D! Besides, I'm already the strongest around here, so why bother? [Oh! Maybe this one...]" Ken eagerly picked another character, this time the fedora wearing Hazama, who often sported a similar smirk to Ken's. Usagi merely picked Rachel again, the fight's outcome pretty much decided, she already knew she would win, no matter who Ken picked.  
_

_"A huge house, a beautiful wife, and an easy-going life. That's all I want, all I need. Screw training! he he he, like I need it anymore..." Ken grinned at Usagi, as the fight started, Ken's character was already charging at Usagi's fighter. The blond girl sighed at Ken's answer "You're impossible Ken. Don't come crying to me when you're face down, kissing the ground, cuz all I'll have for you is a big, fat 'TOLD YA SO'" as she was about to counter against the foe, Ken spoke again:_

_"Whatever you say, Bunny...So...Interested in bein' Mrs. Aoki, Bunny?" Ken nonchalantly said, Usagi froze and turned to look at Ken, a deep blush crossing her face, did he just...? Did he really mean...?_

_"Is that a-...I mean do you really-?" Usagi babbled, her heart nearly having a fit, while her brain was taking a lunch break.  
_

_"Heh heh. You're open!" Ken called as he entered a combo of his own, taking advantage of the blond girl's distraction. Hazama landed a painful combination of slashes that propelled Rachel skyward, where Hazama followed to continue with another barrage of attacks in midair. Usagi snapped back to reality, as she realized she had fallen for one of Ken's tricks._

_"H-Hey! No fair! That's cheating!" She cried as she recovered and managed to push the shady suited foe back. Ken merely chuckling as he enjoyed the advantage. "All's fair in love and war, Bunny" Ken donned an expression of smug satisfaction. Usagi glared at Ken, had he been serious... it was hard to tell. She was worried, she knew it would be just a matter of time before someone really dangerous arrived and threatened Ken, but the idiot! The whole 'Invincible' thing got to the fool boy's head, and only **reality would knock him back to earth**. She pouted thinking that she would be so much happier if the pony-tailed one would just quit fighting altogether.  
_

_As Usagi pouted, her pout turned to smirk as she erased Ken's smug expression by quickly turning the tables on their game. Ken now resorting to his [useless] tactic of button mashing._

_"Oh, what the-, Oe-oe! Gimme a-! No no no no!"_

_**ASTRAL FINISH! **Ken's look of complete humiliation was priceless, he then turned to Usagi who held her controller in one hand, wagging it in front of Ken**  
**_

_"*giggle* Ken~ny, In~vin~ci~ble, you are not~" Usagi singsonged. Ken pouted, control still in hand_

_"Best 26 out of 50!" He challenged, his golden eyes shinning in resolution.  
_

* * *

Usagi giggled slightly, remembering how she always had fun with the tricky fighter. Her eyes turned to the window and contemplated the sky, completely ignoring Megane's lecture about folklore and legends. Megane looked at the blond student slightly annoyed, how could anyone miss that idiot? Oh sure, without him the school was pretty much screwed over, but they got rid of the idiot, that had to count for something...right? The entire class felt...muted, though most wouldn't admit it, the class felt a lot more boring without the Kyoto native trouble maker. Megane closed his textbook, and addressed the class.

"Students..." All the class turned to the teacher, wondering what did he want now. Adjusting his glasses he started his speech

"Life, like a river, constantly moves on. And as life moves on, change is inevitable. Change, can be good at times, though we may fear it at first we must learn to embrace it...and move on..."

Usagi rolled her eyes in annoyance as she ignored one of the the droll speeches Megane was fond of making and looked outside once more. It was then she saw-

**"KEN! ! !"**

All students turned as one towards Usagi, as she stood up again and pointed out the window.

"Though it may be pain-huh?" Megane was cut in mid sentence, had he heard correctly? Before he could react though, he was run over by all the students rushing to the windows. True enough, Ken was walking through the school gates...

...Though a closer inspection showed he was not in the school uniform [which he refused to use] or even his regular raggedy attire, he was wearing a black suit, a silk shirt underneath the suit jacket, unbuttoned around the neck, and a pair of trousers, an elegant ensemble, but it looked...burned in some parts, was that a **bite mark** on his shoulder! ? To further add to the mystery, the boy clearly looked **furious** or rather...**frustrated** , an eye constantly twitching as he slowly paced towards school, his fists trembled constantly and his hair, usually a loose and messy, now looked frazzled and messy. His breathing was ragged, as he made his way to the school with unsteady balance on each step, threatening to throw him over at a moment's notice.

Everyone watched with interest, as Megane recovered from the floor.

"Wh-what's the meaning of this, stomping your-"

Before he could finish, Megane was run over again by the stampede of class 1-4 as they all ran to the entrance of the school.

As they ran for the entrance, all the other classes couldn't help but take interest, curiosity on what happened, and soon all the school made it's way outside. The students, the teachers, even the principal made their way to see Ken, everyone with one question in mind:

**"WHAT IN THE WORLD HAPPENED TO YOU! ?"**

Ken's eye twitched as he saw the assembly, and weakly smiled...a disturbing smile, and he answered:

_"I p-plead the__ ri-right t-to remain s-s-silent, since my t-t-testimony can be u-used against me." _He said, still smiling_  
_

Everyone looked at the 'Invincible?' Kitsune, who could have done this to him? where had he been these past days? And did he smell like burnt skin...**and ozone?** Before any other questions could be asked, Ken spoke again:

_"C-c-could any of y-you please carry me t-t-to the nurse's office, T-thanks..." _and saying this he collapsed, knocked out. Everyone could only stare at the prone form of Ken, this had gone beyond unreal. Ken Aoki, 'The Invincible Demon-fox'** was laying face down, kissing the floor, injured, burned all over and unconscious, someone had managed what was believed to be impossible till that day: Someone had defeated Ken.**

But...who?

Usagi appeared out of nowhere near the prone form of ken and poked at him with her foot, only a pained groan escaped the fighter's lips. Usagi then crouched in front of Ken. And delivered the words she'd been dying to tell the [currently] battered fighter.

**"TOLD. YA. SO."**

* * *

**Thursday - Roughly around 8 A.M. Oni Palace - Medical ward, room 13 [Oniboshi]  
**

Ken woke up, and the sat up instantly, the terran youth surveyed his surroundings. An unfamiliar room, it looked like a hospital room, what with all the equipment that had been hooked up, monitoring his state, many machines he had never seen in his life. From the sudden movement, Ken expected to be in horrible pain, recalling the prior events to today. He knew that shot the Captain fired at him broke three ribs in the process, and he could've sworn he had broken his right arm freeing Emi...though his memory was kind of fuzzy, he could recall...that she was flying! ?...

No, that can't be right.

Ken shook his head, trying to reorganize his ideas. First things first: assess the damage.

Hmm, ribs? He poked his side tentatively...no, everything was in a single piece. Huh, go fig, ribs DO grow back. And his arm? Ken examined his supposedly injured limb, covered in some sort of blue bandages, only faint shades of a bruise remained which were still visible underneath the bandage material, but it no longer hur-

**"Owowowowow ow!"** Okay, it still smarted, but it wasn't broken at least. But how did he manage to heal so inhumanly quick? He saw that long gone was his black and white jumpsuit, and in it's stead a few blue bandages covered his body, namely the parts of his body that received the worst damage, the bandages flashing intermittently and only some sweatpants [at the very least it wasn't like those embarrassing hospital clothes back on earth]. Apparently the bandages' purpose was to speed up the healing process.

Well, not that it mattered. He was feeling relatively great [mostly anyway]! Rescuing a princess, a real princess! It was just about as much of a rush as he had expected it to be, and with no stupid retainer awaiting to tell him that their princess was in another cast-er ship, that really would've sucked. Ken laid back, thinking on his latest adventure, a grin plastered on his face...though it quickly disappeared, when he reviewed his performance.

Oh sure, the fact that the terran fighter was incredible in the field of battle, many would agree for this to be a fact, but there was no escaping the truth in the youth's mind. **He was rusty**, no, that wasn't right, **he was completely out of shape.** He had become to complacent, lazy, actually believing himself to be 'invincible', when this latest escapade proved quite the contrary: **he had escaped within an inch of his life**. He had neglected training ever since he arrived on Tomobiki. His bare basic ability was more than enough for the typical JD, but this had become an endurance test, and he nearly failed.

He could almost imagine it, his former colleagues mocking him for his weakness. If he had encountered any **real** fighters, this story would've been a much more tragic one. To be flatly honest, if Ken was a much more humble an honest person, he'd give himself a score of 10...out of 100.

Ken sat there meditating, the weight of his actions catching up to him. Just one more second wasted trying to free Emi...he didn't want to think about it.

"Kon... that was way too close..." He recalled bits and pieces after the event, but it felt much more like a dream instead of a memory. Or was it the other way around? He could recall flying at high speed back to the hangar...

...No way... Emi couldn't fly... that would be just...just... unreal...

...right?

He contemplated the IV dripping some sort of solution [was that safe for his body?] into his body. The room was silent, only the beeping of a machine that checked his vitals [what were those called? Heart monitors?] echoed in the room.

***PING***

Oh there was also the machine that went 'PING', no way they'd miss that. It was way too important.

...

What was it for again? The raven haired teenager wondered, scratching his head...But he quickly waved it off, his mind going back to a much more pressing issue: what to look for in a wife!

"Hehehehe...so maybe I should go for a sexy type of girl...but I shouldn't neglect any cuties, cute is good...cute and girly, maybe...hmmm, maybe a tomboy type of chick, they can be fun...And that's just personality, I gotta consider body type too...Hmmm? Man, I haven't seen the menu and I'm already having trouble picking. Tch! C'mon dude, save it for when you have to choose!" Ken said aloud, to himself right there.

Suddenly the doors opened with a quiet swish, only to reveal the Moroboshi's own personal retainer, assistant and butler, Nu.

"Ah! Master Ken! You finally woke up!" Nu cheered, honestly glad to see the earthling conscious again.

"Yo Nu! What's up?" Ken greeted as the little robot hovered in front of him, scanning him quickly. "Guess you guys managed to fix me up, kon?"

Nu was silent as he digested the information on his scanners.

* * *

SUBJECT: Ken Aoki

STATUS: Conscious. Thoracic area healed to 100%. No internal organ damage. Right arm healed to 75%, should be fully healed in three hours. Ready to be reprimanded.

* * *

Nu sighed in relief, the reckless boy was healing up nicely, the RegenGauze doing it's job. Still, he felt that he had to scold the reckless actions of the young man.

"Master Ken, it seems you'll be able to remove these binds in around just 3 hours from now."

"Really? Awesome! Hehe, I don't really like sitting around all the time."

"Master Ken, there is something important we must talk about."

"Eh?" Ken raised an eyebrow, confused. Why did it suddenly felt like he was going to get lectured by his old man.

"Make no mistake, I deeply thank the lenghts you went to rescue Princess Moroboshi..." This doesn't look good... "Lord Moroboshi and Lady Benten also extend their gratitude, specially so after I gave a detailed report of the overall mission..." Huh? Perhaps he was wrong, maybe he wasn't gonna get chewed over this- "...and the true limits of your strength..." Ah, nevermind, he was in deep.

"We barely escaped, and all because you decided to act on your own. We had an erroneous impression of your true abilities while you were under the poison, and just now do we realize the error of it."

"Whoa look Nu, can't knock the results, right?" Ken, somewhat nervously defended himself, but the lecture wasn't over.

"You and Lady Benten are of the same mind apparently." Nu said in a flat tone.

"The chainmail babe? Heh well, what can I-"

"That was **not** a compliment."

"...say?..."

"Lord Ataru and I agreed on the same point, as it turns out. As a matter of fact, this may be a little known fact, but Lord Moroboshi is a **pacifist**, he despises fighting."

Ken was surprised to hear this, the guy was a Warlord and yet...he's a pacifist, also he was the same guy who had gone toe to toe versus the boy, managing a tie in the last battle. _Ugh, defeat by Cherry!_ *shudder* Ken had taken the deranged monk's picture, discovering the glutton's ability to cause an explosion just by showing up and thus weaponizing his image...Yeah, not something he was proud of... or something he expected to face himself..._wait a minute!_

"And just as well, he despises martyrs. And I find myself agreeing to him." Nu continued, breaking Ken's line of thought, the terran one for his part scowled at the berating device in front of him.

"Hey! I did save Emi in the end, right? So what's the big deal, kon! ?" The youth heatedly argued

"The big deal is you nearly got **killed** in the process!" Nu shot back. "I'm not sure why but you overestimated your own limits and abilities, you took way too many unnecessary risks and dangers."

"Tch! I was more than enough for this mission, kon."

"**No, you weren't! **Which is why Lord Ataru sent you with Remy in the first place!"

"Burger-boy! ? It's a joke, right?"

Nu shook his head, he was being dead serious, and if only for the boy's sake he had to drive the point home. "The Oni physiology is a lot tougher than most humans, to my understanding, the  
Ushitora clan an exemplary case of this. Only two earth humans I have encountered have shown extraordinary abilities, even surpassing the Oni in some aspects..."

Ken glared, how the hell did the robot know so damn much about humans anyways! ?

"...And those two are you **and Lord Ataru Moroboshi!** "

_Ah well, that explains that_... Ken thought. ..._Hold the phone!_

"**MR.M IS HUMAN, KON! ?" **Ken yelled, eyes going wide like plates in surprise, shock and...well...surprise.

"Y-you didn't know?" Nu asked, rather surprised, he remembered quickly what he was here for though. He would not allow a change in subject. "...Anyway, the point is **you should be much more aware of your own limits**."

Ken was still shell shocked over finding out about the other human in this planet, but that last part...was it just him, or was there a sense of _déjà vu_ to those words?...something did occur to him though.

"If the two of you agree on nagging me, how come he only sent you?"

"Ah..." Nu sweat-dropped at the inquiry, a valid question as it were. "Well...Lord Moroboshi has much more pressing matters to attend to... thus why I was sent here alone."

"Well isn't that convenient?" Ken glared, though Nu was not done yet it would seem.

"Master Ken, you are a truly talented young man. But you are not **invincible**...just as Lord Ataru is not **indestructible**. I would honestly regret if anything were to happen to one of Princess Emi's friends."

Ken scowled once more turning away from the robot, normally he wouldn't stand for this treatment... but somehow he didn't feel like fighting back.

"*sigh* Anyway, Princess Emi will shortly arrive to thank you." Nu turned and hovered to the door, satisfied about the small talk he had with the young man. But stopped short at the exit as he recalled another reason for him being here.

"Ah, Master Ken?"

Ken turned to the robot, shooting his answer with an annoyed voice. "What now?"

"Princess Emi... she does not have many friends...she has a large number of suitors and such, but not many friends as it were."

"So?" The terran spat annoyed still, he didn't like being scolded like a little kid.

"I would really appreciate it if you became a friend of hers...she has taken quite a liking to you..." Unknown to both robot and boy, this was an understatement on a cosmic level.

"...I'll think about it..." And with that Nu left, leaving Ken to himself, and his thoughts.

"*muttering* Stupid, know-it-all, smart aleck...cat...bot...THING! ? What does he know anyway! ?"

Ken sat there for a few minutes, watching the weird bandages on his arm heal him. He decided to no-longer think about this sour subject, and continue thinking about who to choose as his new bride. For the moment. But before too much time passed the door opened again, Ken instinctively was going to turn to glare at the annoying digital assistant...until his nose caught a whiff of a more pleasant scent, this one belonging to the Oni princess, her hair fixed up in a braid and wearing a formal yellow tiger-stripped dress and carrying a small bag, Emi Moroboshi.

"Hey Ken! Nu done chewing ya out?" She brightly greeted, Ken smiled at the rebellious princess.

"Yeah, you'd figure for someone who just risked their neck saving their princess, they'd be a lot more grateful, right?" Ken asked, as Emi made her way into the room, sitting beside the black haired youth and setting down the bag beside her.

"Well...we...were all worried about 'tcha. So you can't hold it against us, can 'tcha?" She said getting close to Ken, her eyes wandering from his face to his chest. _By the gods! Look at those muscles! Rowr! _She thought, shaking her head before she could distract herself too much

"I suppose I can't. But all's well that end's well, don't ya think?"

"Eh? Ah, yeah! You betcha!" Emi happily agreed albeit a little nervously.

"And... I guess I owe ya thanks. Kon"

"Huh? What for?" Emi wondered, Ken in turn gave a warm smile.

"Well, for getting my ass out of that mess...again I might add." Emi blushed at that statement. _Did he have to say his ass! ? *groan* Think of something else, Emi...high tech schematics, advanced robotics, programing A.I. code_, _building the case, screwing the bolts, checking the shaft...'shaft', 'screw'? WRONG THOUGHTS EMI!_

After she shook her head hard to rattle her brain back on track, Emi had the good grace to blush embarrassed. "Heh heh, I sorta gotcha in that situation in the first place so...?"

"Relax Emi, I'm used to getting in trouble, and besides..." Ken took her hand in his. "I'll gladly get in trouble for a cutie like you." Emi blushed again, her face lighting up like a tomato.

"I...I still wanna thank you for saving me" Emi stuttered, Ken blinked somewhat confused, but he decided to be nice to the green-haired alien beauty. Emi slowly scooted closer to Ken, their faces very near, Emi lost herself on Ken's eyes. _C'mon Emi! Just do it already!_ Before Ken could ask what was she doing, Emi planted her lips on his, Ken's eyes going wide like dinner plates the second time that morning, but quickly he started closing his eyes, kissing back. Both boy and girl had no idea how much time had passed while they were locked in each others lips. When they finally broke apart, Ken was catatonic, never in his short life had he ever been kissed like that, that kiss, it felt...at the lack of a better word...**electric**. All he could say, as he lost himself on Emi's eyes was...

"_Wow..." _Ken said, short of breath._  
_

_"You betcha..." _Emi agreed.

Both teens stared, when a sudden beep coming from Emi's cleavage snapped both into reality. Emi dug into her bra and pulled out her Oniberry, and groaned clearly annoyed.

"Sorry, gotta go. Daddy needs my help on something important."

"Eh? Oh! Kon, sure go ahead, Emi. I'll be okay, kon!" Ken embarrassedly answered, barking every few times.

Emi giggled at the cute little trait of Ken's fox-like barks. "Say..." Emi started uncertain, "...We're gonna have a party later, you're invited to join...and..."

Ken tilted his head confused, Emi fidgetting finished. "I wanna...make an important announcement...it really concerns you so, I want you to be there."

Ken smiled. "Wouldn't miss it for the world...Emi."

"Oh before I forget..." Emi dug around the bag she was carying and pulled out a black t-shirt. "You can wear this, while we get your suit ready for the party, Daddy thought it would be...!" Emi's eyes went wide as she inspected the shirt.

Ken looked at Emi oddly for a moment, that is until he figured something out. "Lemme guess...it's something 'kitsune' related, right?"

"...Yeah" Emi said, in an ashamed tone

"...No offense, but your dad sucks." Ken deadpanned.

"...None taken." Emi said, eyes closed, envisioning the heavenly retribution she would enact on her father for embarrassing her like this. Ken took the shirt and quickly, he put the garment on. The shirt in question was not as insulting as he had expected, it only had a decal of the silhouette of a foxes head in white, kind of stylish even. "Hey, this isn't half bad!" Ken complimented on the shirt, apparently Ataru had dodged lightning once more.

Emi smiled brightly, and hopped over to the door in a single bound, Ken impressed on her 'agility' and distance, the door was a clear 10 meters from the bed. "See 'tcha later then..."

"...Sweetie..." she whispered, as the doors closed behind her. Ken lightly touching his lips, remembering the kiss.

Then a mischievous grin spread across his lips. "Guess choosing the next 'Mrs. Aoki' got a whole lot easier. Kon"

* * *

Emi outside took a deep breath. A grin plastered on her face and jumped high into the air

"YAHOO! *giggle*" And shot off to the [rebuilt] main hall, giggling and laughing all the way.

* * *

**Friday, 12:15 PM. Tomobiki High's Infirmary [Earth]  
**

"Ow ow ow ow ow OW! Watch it!" Ken yelled as the nurse applied iodine on the various burns on his body. Ken currently shirtless, dressed in some odd blue bandages covering his chest and abdominal area as well as his right arm, the boy refused to take them off, but considering the tissue underneath was healing quickly, Ken was allowed to keep them on,the area on his shoulder though, where he sported a bite mark was quite blackened. The retired fighter was much more energetic than when he was brought in, he was currently treated by the nurse, a woman in her mid twenties named Tsubaki Ozuno.

Tsubaki, an elegant woman well known by the Tomobiki High student body as one of the 'hotest babes' in school, and quite reasonably so; a brunnette, wearing her hair in a loosely, tied in a low knot, wearing the traditional nurse's uniform, a very flattering dress shirt showing a lot of [much appreciated] cleavage and an alluring skirt gave her a very sexy appeal, covered by the standard issue white coat, a stately body and a beautiful sexy face were obvious attractive traits on the woman who had a serious glare on her face at all times.

Usagi was outside a partition in the infirmary, holding Hikaru in her arms. The little kitsune fidgeting, glad that Ken had returned, but worried as well, as the pony-tailed boy refused to talk about what happened, though the little fox avoided direct contact with his familiar, fearing he'd try to escape if he were to be discovered. Megane watched from a distance, the social studies teacher recognized those burns, having seen them hundreds of times before.

They were **electrical** burns...

"Kenichi Aoki..." The bespectacled man addressed the boy, with his real name no less.

"Whaddya want, Four-eyes! ? I'm in a lousy mood, kon!" Ken basically growled at the teacher, Megane flinched, but shaking his head he pressed on.

"Care to explain how you got injured?" Megane said, a very, very seious and dark tone in his voice.

Ken glared, his eyes set ablaze in white flames. "None o' your business!"

Megane's eye twitched, there was no denying it now, Ken had been involved with Oni, that much was obvious, but the details were the important matter of the issue here. But how to get him to confess?

Usagi watched from the corner of her eye thourgh the infirmary curtains, as Ken was still tended to, somewhat worried, but something in her gut told her this was Ken's fault. And he knew it.

"Hmm...my diagnosis is rather simple, Aoki shows signs of electrical burns all over his body, and what I assume to be a bite mark on his right shoulder." Nurse Tsubaki explained.

"He was tased! ?" Usagi exclaimed, kind of shocked.

"No...nothing of the sort, these were caused by high voltage electricity, there isn't a taser in the world that could manage this. Any regular human wouldn't have been knocked unconscious and badly injured, but that hardly applies to this fellow now does it?"

"I don't need an over-glorified, stupid bimbo acting like she knows what she's doing to tell me what I already know!" For some reason, Tsubaki was the only attractive woman Ken was hostile to. The reason? **She was related to Cherry,** but that was hardly fair, right? Well, if you consider Ken had also been subjected to her attempt at shamanism, well, it made much more sense, he was lucky to escape before her horrible attempts at psychic control affected him, though he hadn't forgiven that slip up as of yet**. **It didn't help that she was nefariously known to be hostile towards most, if not all men.

Her eyebrow twitched. "He's clearly delusional, and given his unique physiology I suggest anestethizing him via **MASSIVE CRANIAL TRAUMA!**" She yelled trying to slam a huge mallet on the fool boy's head, she was specially violent to the boy, since he regarded her "as a dumbass, incompetent, idiot" endquote. Ken rolled to the side as the mallet slammed on the stool he had been sitting on, knowing enough medical lingo to know that translated to 'dodge now!', Tsubaki kept up the attacks, as Ken swiftly dodged.

"WHOA! Whatever happened to "First Do No Harm", huh! ?" Ken yelled as he evaded to the best of his ability.

"That's for doctors, you idiot! Besides, all rules carry exceptions, Aoki!" As she attempted to violate the Nightingale pledge[2] on the idiot boy's head. Ken blocked the mallet with a foot plant on the flat surface of the blunt weapon, both nurse and patient locked in a contest of strength.

Usagi sighed, business as usual whenever the boy came even close to the Infirmary, the power contest carried on, intermixing into an insult war.

"Useless bimbo!"

"Reckless child!"

"Stupid bitch!"

"Ungrateful pervert!"

"Incompetent nurse!"

"Kitsune goblin!"

"**NOT A KITSUNE!**"

Megane took off his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. Why did he think bringing him here was a good idea? At the very least he was conscious and healed enough to move freely. Hikaru, who had carefully kept hidden from Ken, called out to Usagi. "Are you sure I can't help Kenichi?" Usagi shook her head. "If you got any idea to make Kenichi confess about what happened, that could be very useful."

The pure-hearted fox nodded, thinking hard about what to do. "Hrrm..." The little fox hung his head low. "No good, I can't think of anything."

"Don't worry, you tried your best." Usagi comforted the little fox. Hikaru looked at the ongoing struggle, from behind the curtains that separated the infirmary, seeing only the shadows of nurse vs. patient.

"I don't understand why he's so afraid? It's almost as if he was **guilty** of something." Usagi couldn't help but giggle at the comment. Ken? Afraid? Now there was an alien concept...

...Wait...

"Hikaru! You're a genius!" Usagi said in a level voice. On the other side of the curtain Ken turned, swearing he just heard-

"YOU'RE OPEN!" -the distraction was all Tsubaki needed to bludgeon the moron into unconsciousness. A swift and true hit sending Ken to dreamland, a nasty bump on his head being the passport for the ride.

Megane adjusted his glasses as he had heard the outburst from the blonde girl. "Do you have a plan, Miyake?"

"Uh huh." She nodded, confident. "Thanks to Hikaru over here." Hikaru rubbed the back of his head, though he wasn't sure what he had done to deserve the praise.

"Let's **cross-examine** Kenichi!" [3]

* * *

**Thursday, 9 A.M. - Oni palace, hallways. [Oniboshi]  
**

Ken was going stir crazy in that room, thus he decided to explore the palace a little more, something he hadn't been able to do prior to the events of the rescue op. The youth considered to be healed up enough for a little walk so he decided to tour the place. The palace was very classy, the walls shinning of golden (matching the youth's eyes), there were many pieces of art and sculptures around. Though he stopped as he noticed one painting.

It was of Ataru and an Oni girl who had a striking resemblance to Emi, Ken assumed that was her mother, what was her name again? Both Oni and human in the picture were depicted quite young, in their teens would be an educated guess. The Oni girl was flying towards Ataru, this one trying to desperately reach her as well, hands barely touching. The Oni girl as Ken had noticed before, was a dead ringer for Emi, if anything the only differences he could notice was that both her eyes were blue and that her hair was much more properly stylized, whereas Emi always had a disheveled side...now that he noticed, much like her father's own hair, also Emi had a slightly bigger bust, he couldn't help but notice.

"Hahahahahaha" A small, child-like laugh echoed through the halls, Ken turned to see a small Oni girl, about 4 years old, giving huge leaps and bounds thought the halls, laughing all the way. The girl was wearing a tiger-print dress and carrying a small backpack, as she made her way over to the terran fighter, jumping on top of his head and latching on. Ken was rather amazed at how high and easily the girl jumped around, was the gravity in this planet that different from Earth's? he wondered. The girl piggyback riding on Ken still laughing.

"Oe oe oe, hahaha, what's this all about?" Ken good-naturedly asked.

"A ride, a ride! Gimme a ride, mister." The little girl cheered.

"Didn't your mom ever taught you not to talk to strangers?" Ken chided.

The Oni girl considered for a moment then asked. "What's your name, mister?"

"Ken Aoki, and don't call me mister, I'm not that old yet. Call me 'big bro'."

"My name's Airi Moroboshi. Nice to meet ya, mister Ken!" The girl cheerfully introduced herself.

"Hey, what did I just say?" _Wait_..._Moroboshi? Is she Emi's little sister? _Ken thought, as the girl started laughing some more._  
_

"Now we're not strangers anymore! *giggle*"

"That's not what I meant!" _Cute kid thought_

As this playful banter continued, another figure descended behind Ken. "Ah, here you are, Airi."

Ken turned at the voice of a mature woman, only to recognize her as the Oni girl from the painting, now in her 40's but still graceful and beautiful. Green hair cascading to knee length, blue and sincere eyes adorned her face. Wearing a tiger print dress, sedate but informal, the Oni woman stepped closer to Ken. This was his first meeting with Emi's mother, he realized. The older Oni woman gave the young man a friendly smile, Ken blinking in surprise, all the while Airi was still latched to the back of his head.

"Hi! I'm sorry if my daughter was bothering you."

"Eh? Ah no problem..." Ken kindly waved off. "I've got a bunch of little sisters back home so I'm used to it."

"Where are your horns, mister Ken?" Airi asked as she patted the young man's head, in search of them.

"Airi, he's human, like Daddy, they don't have any horns."

Airi 'ahh'ed in understanding, though she looked sadly at Ken for a moment, the terran youth flashing a friendly grin. "Don't feel bad, I managed 16 years without any horns so far, so it's all good." Airi giggled as Ken said this, recovering her playful mood.

"So... your name's Ken is it?" The Oni girl's mother asked, as she smiled watching her daughter play 'horsie' with the teenage boy.

"Yeah, name's Ken-" "Ao-ki" Airi finished for the youth. "Mommy, this mister Ken Aoki. Right?"

"What did I tell you about calling me 'mister'?" Ken absently complained. The Oni woman laughing lightly, then giving a respectful bow, she introduced herself...

"My name's **Lum**, nice to meet'cha!"

To be continued...

* * *

[1]The gameplay part will probably make absolutely no sense unless you've played BlazBlue, but shouldn't keep you from enjoying this. Also little curious detail, the character Usagi uses when she defeats Ken, Rachel Alucard, is nicknamed 'Rabbit' by Ragna in the game's story mode...Also picking her because of her electric attacks was no coincidence

[2] **Nightingale pledge**: True, nurses don't take the Hippocratic Oath that Ken had referenced, but they do take this pledge instead, and though if wiki is to be believed, it does not textually mention to 'do no harm'. It's safe to assume that bludgeoning someone up the head with a mallet is sufficient grounds to violate this pledge, idiot or not. [en. wikipedia. org/wiki/Nightingale_Pledge]

[3] Any one who instantly thought 'Ace Attorney' reference, you guys get extra points. =D

A/N: Lum finally gets to meet Ken, and everything had started so well...how did it all go south so quick, well chances are you already got an idea, but stay tuned folks, just a few more chapters left.


	13. Turnabout Kitsune

Chapter 13 "Turnabout Kitsune"

All original cast and elements of Urusei Yatsura belong to Rumiko Takahashi The OCs are mine though.

Enjoy if you will.

* * *

Tomobiki was always an interesting place to live, what with all the alien invasions, reality-altering shenanigans, and other paranormal nonsense that occurred on a near daily basis? But once Tomobiki's infamous Letcher and the Oni Princess left the planet, a sense of normalcy returned. However an ominous wind blew through the streets of this fair town. Twenty seven years have passed by and a new player arrives to Tomobiki, Ken Aoki, a fighter from Kyoto with a mysterious past and one who had received the title of "Invincible Demon-Fox". Tomobiki will become the epicenter of all weirdness and chaos once more.

* * *

******Friday 1 P.M. - Tomobiki High - Gymnasium [Earth]**

Ken was starting to recover consciousness, what had happened? One moment he was in the nurse's office, the next...where was this place?

What welcomed the wayward youth [along with a splitting headache] was a darkened room, only a single light shinning up from high up top of him, a wooden stand right in front of him was the one thing he could see. Ken tried to move, but found himself unable to do so! He was bound by several chains wrapping around his body. Of course Ken tried to break through his bonds but he couldn't. There was something oddly familiar about these chains, it was then he noticed a few wisps of white fire emanating from them.

"What the-! ? *Kon?* _Kitsune-bi Kusari! ! !_" [Foxfire Chain] The youth yelped, recognizing the technique.

"Don't bother trying to break from those chains, **defendant Aoki!**" A voice echoed through the hall. Ken recognized it belonged to the hated teacher of Tomobiki High, Megane.

"OE! Megane, you asshole! Lemme go!" Ken yelled, recognizing the hated teacher's voice. _Wait...**defendant** Aoki?_

Instantly light bathed the entire room, temporarily blinding the strong boy. Ken blinked a couple of times, adjusting his vision. As the picture came into focus, Ken recognized now he was in the school's gym...but there was something decidedly different this time around.

The place looked more like a courtroom! To his right, Megane was behind a desk, wearing a burgundy elegant styled suit, with a ruffled scarf around his neck. To his left, he recognized Usagi, wearing a purple yukata, with a pink magatama hanging from her neck and her hair tied in a topknot, and beside her was someone he couldn't recognize...it was a diminutive, spiky haired man with cute little eyes, wearing a blue business suit ...for some reason those eyes were familiar to him [the author wishes to state that Ken did not notice the fox ears or tail on said man]. In front, sitting behind a grand stand, like the one in those court dramas, was the Judge...played by Tomobiki High's very own Principal, currently wearing a Judge's garb.

The current Principal for Tomobiki High was a younger man, probably in his early 30s, with silvery styled hair. A relaxed fellow, and an avid martial arts fan, he was fair and just and would often forgive the students misgivings, also quite like his predecessor, he enjoyed a good cup of tea. On a side note, by the gym's entrance was the vice-principal, Onsen-Mark, playing the part of bailiff.

"_W-Why do I have to play the bailiff? I should be the prosecutor!_" He grumbled, to himself, since everyone couldn't care less about him, we should move on.

The gym was packed, all the student body was reunited by the stands and sidelines of the gym, as the audience for today's trial. Ken could many voices... most of them jeering at him.

"Go to hell Aoki!"

"I hope you rot Kitsune!"

"The bastard's guilty!"

"Send him to the slammer!"

"Lock him up! For stealing my girlfriend!"

"Mine too!"

"Didn't she break up with you anyway?"

"_...S-shut up!_"

***BANG BANG BANG***

"Order! Order! Order!" The Principal...err Judge called out, banging his gavel. The crowd fell silent as the Judge spoke

"This court is in session for the trial for **Kenichi Aoki**...right?" The Judge asked

"That's correct, sir. We have verified his real name to be Kenichi Aoki indeed." Megane clarified.

"GRRR!" ...Ken growled at the social studies teacher, current prosecutor.

"Ah yes! We are here for the trial of Kenichi Aoki. Is the prosecution ready?"

"The prosecution is more than ready, your Honor. Hehehe" Megane cakled lowly at the young fighter, only earning the youth's glares

"Is the defense ready?"

"W-we are, your Honor!" The little spiky haired fellow exclaimed.

"Very well, Megane, will you please give your opening statement?"

"Gladly, your Honor..." Megane said walking away from his desk and carrying some papers which he read from. "The prosecution has evidence of one Kenichi Aoki being involved in alien affairs, namely Oni."

The crowd started to murmur hushedly as the teacher said this, some comments...were less than flattering.

"A-alien affairs?"

"Dude, for real?"

"Oni? C'mon, is this a joke! ?"

"...Whatever the teach's smokin', I want some of that!"

Only Usagi then noticed Ken was breaking into a cold sweat, a haunted look on his face, which both worried her and angered her, what did he do now! ?. Ken on the meantime...well...panicked...internally of course.

_HOW THE F**K DID HE KNOW! ? W-wait...that's right...the town Mr.M and Lum lived in..._ The young fighter analyzed but before he could consider this point further...

***BANG BANG BANG***

"Order! Order in the court! Megane...Oni, really?"

"Yes, your Honor." Megane said, conviction unwavering...which wasn't a shinning testament to the teacher's sanity in the eyes of the principal. Megane noticed a quiet chuckle coming from the witness stand...Ken giving a smug grin.

_Heh...nice try Teach! But no one in the world is gonna believe a thing about aliens, not unless you got any evidence_

The judge shook his head. "I was hoping you would present something...not as fictitious, Megane. Given that he have no knowledge of any Oni, unless you don't have incontrovertible proof of them we must stop this mock trial and release Aoki immediately!"_  
_

The pony tailed one gave a quiet chuckle, seeing he might as well start walking out of the shortest trial ev-

"**OBJECTION!**" Megane yelled, as he wagged a disapproving finger. "I just happen to bring a few pieces of evidence about them with me, which I will submit to the court as evidence!"

_W-WHAT! ? ! ? No way!_

Many more murmurs and chatter erupted from the crowd. Megane merely checked in his suit and pulled out a few polaroids, these snapshots looked old and dated but they portrayed a green haired, beautiful Oni girl, about 16 years of age with blue sincere eyes wearing a small tiger-print bikini and some boots, usually on the company of a similar aged brun-haired, disgruntled-looking teen. All students murmured and asked, wondering what was on those pictures. Ken paled, he didn't know why, but it felt like things were about to go south soon. The Judge examined the photos, and finally exclaimed. "The court shall deliberate on the evidence presented and will arrive to a decision shortly" The crowd murmured, now really curious to see those pictures themselves. One of the students pulling out some binoculars...while one of the geekier ones was watching through a telescope.

"See anything yet?"

"I think I see...I think I see..."

"Yeah yeah! ?"

"_URANUS!" _This student was quickly buried under a mountain of trash heaped by his fellow classmates under the battle cry of 'the punishment for puns is death'. This was of course ignored by the young martial artist, who was sweating bullets on the stand.

"_Ah crap..."_ Ken cursed in a low voice, if the boy could wish for anything in the world right now, was to be anywhere but here!...well, with a few exceptions.

* * *

**Thursday 9:30 A.M. - Oni Palace - hallways [Oniboshi]**

Airi was laughing jovially as she kept latched to the back of Ken's head, the boy walking along with her mother. As she asked the first question:

"Are you a friend of Darling's?" Lum innocently asked, Ken who had been playing horsie for Emi's younger sister heard the question...and blinked in confusion.

"Err...Who?"

"My husband, Ataru..."

"Oh..." He oh'ed, realizing she referred to him by a pet name. "Naw...I'm more a friend of Emi's than anything." The boy smiled.

Lum's eyes stared at him in surprise, and quickly gave an enigmatic smile. "Is that so?"

"Yup...say, how come I didn't see you around here before?"

"Hm? Oh, well I took Airi to visit my parents for a few days...*sigh*" Lum sighed somewhat depressed.

"Something the matter Ms.M?" Ken asked somewhat worried.

"Oh? Oh, it's nothing, and call me Lum, dearie." Lum smiled, a somewhat forced smile.

Ken's expression hardened a bit as he stopped. "Something IS bothering you, Lum... I won't pry but...does it have anything to do with Mr.M?"

Lum stared at the boy, and finally gave a defeated sigh, he was good at reading people. "Y-yeah, it's about Darling..." Ken nodded knowingly, while Airi watched in interest.

"You see...a few years ago, I... forgot Darling's birthday."

_The wife forgetting the guy's birthday? That's a first..._ Ken thought. "Did he get angry or something back then?"

"Err...well, yeah...but we shortly made up after that day. So...umm...today is my birthday..."

"Ah...happy birthday, then." Ken congratulated.

"Happy birthday, Mommy." Airi parroted, not missing a beat. Lum smiled at the duo.

"Thank you very much...*sigh*" Lum still sighed depressed

Ken had heard enough to add two and two together. "Mr.M forgot! ? Eesh...you must be mad."

Lum shook her head lightly "I'm not mad...just...I was hoping he'd remember and we could do something special for today." Ken scratched his chin, a thought popping inside his head. He recalled the events shortly after the incident that would be only known as the 'Juice Incident'. He had woken up in a grand hall of sorts, tables adorned with many decorations all strewn in many directions, a couple of buffet tables smashed and food littering around the place, the room in complete disarray form many of the torn pillars decorations hung, torn. Ken recalled one banner that had barely survived had the words 'Happy Birthday Lum'... later that day he would learn that he had been the culprit of all that mess.

Ah...so that was it. Ken gave a very fox-like smile, hmm...why not, he should be nice to his future mother-in-law after all. "Need any help finding Mr.M?"

"Oh, I couldn't ask you to-" Ken waved off, stopping Lum in mid-sentence. "I insist."

Lum smiled, he was a very chivalrous fellow indeed. "Thank you..." Ken then turned his eyes to the little passenger he was carrying on his shoulders. "You should stay back here with your mom, lil' Airi."

"Dun' wanna!" Airi rebelled.

"Now now, be a good girl..."

"I wanna keep riding!" The little Oni girl pouted. Ken sweatdropped and turned to Lum for help, she merely laughed lightly. "Maybe we should let her ride a little more."

"Well...I don't mind but if you're sure." Ken argued, Lum shook her head, and giving the boy a warm smile, she said "I know I can trust you, Ken."

Ken blinked and smiled "All right Lum, wait here, I'll be back in a second", he turned to the little Oni girl, who was sporting a Cheshire grin. "Let's look for your Daddy, OK?" Ken said

"Uh huh! Giddy up! " Airi ordered, Ken smiled, after sniffing the air for a couple of seconds he had caught the scent of the other human on the planet, he took a low crouch...

"Hold on tight.*kon!*" ...and propelled himself in a triangle jump along the walls, not in a wreckless manner, or one that would scare the little Oni girl, since she pretty much went 'WHEEE!" all the way. Lum blinked in surprise, impressed with the human's agility, then her face turned to another enigmatic smile. "Hmm...I wonder if he'd be interested in dating Emi?" The Oni Empress thought to herself, already playing matchmaker.

...

"Did that boy...just bark like a fox?"

* * *

******Friday 1:15 P.M. - Tomobiki High - Gymnasium [Earth]**

"I'm sorry, Megane but the court can't truly accept the existence of aliens."

Megane looked downtrodden, and Ken breathed a sigh of relief, but in that moment-

******"**OBJECTION!" The little [pure-hearted] lawyer spoke up.

Ken glared at his defense, the little lawyer ignoring the look on it's clients face. "The defense accepts the prosecution's evidence!" Usagi blinked at the little fo-err attorney.

"Hmm? Is that so? You accept the existence of Oni?" The judge questioned, one look to the witness stand, one could see Ken shaking his head trying to signal a negatory response for his defense, but was flatly ignored.

"Yes, we do!" The diminutive lawyer answered, Megane was touched, his eyes watering in tears, he knew he could trust little Hikaru "_Hikaru...thank you!"_. The judge scratched his head, confused, but shrugged his shoulders.

"We shall continue then, under the premise that Oni truly exist, until proven otherwise."

"Oe, Kon! You seriously gonna let this crap fly, *kon! ?*" Came the defendant's panicked objection, his nervous barks signalling weakness.

"Yes" Was the flat, definitive answer Tomobiki High's Principal [current Judge] gave to the accused fighter.

Megane pocketed his pictures once more, and addressed the court. "Now that that's done, the prosecution calls it's first witness."

Ken didn't know why, but he had a bad feeling about this...

* * *

Now sitting in the defendant's bench. [but still tied in chains from the waist up] Ken glared at the current witness, a nefariously infamous character of Tomobiki: **Cherry**

"Name and occupation, if you please." Megane asked the holy man on the stand.

"My name is Sakurambou...but please call me Cherry. As for my occupation I am-"

**"-A professional glutton of a deranged, butt-ugly monk, *kon!*"** Ken managed to cut in, causing an uproar of laughter from the students, the prosecution, the defense [though Hikaru was trying his hardest to contain it] and even the judge.

**"HAHAHAHAHA-HEHEHEHE-HIHIHI-HAHAHA-HOHOHOHOHO-HAHAHAHAHA**"

Cherry glared at the defendant, giving a defeated sigh of: " 'tis fate..."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahaha...ha...haaa...*whew*, AHEM...Very well, Cherry..." Megane recovered " You claim to have witnessed the moment where young Ken was abducted by an Unidentified Flying Object, a U.F.O. if you will..."

"Yes...I have"

Hurried chatter erupted from the gallery, all students asking in between themselves, if this was true...or if Cherry had finally gone senile after all these years. Ken glared over at the defense's bench, werent' they going to help him? Usagi turned away, avoiding Ken's glare, while the little lawyer just twiddled his thumbs. Megane adjusted his glasses, as he spoke once more.

"Cherry, you will testify to the court about the events to Ken's abduction."

* * *

**Witness Testimony - Ken's Abduction -  
**

"To be sure that fateful night two days ago, I had a chance encounter with the young Kenichi Aoki. His face bearing the same unfortunate marks as a another before him, one some of you know well. I warned him not to travel the road he had chosen, but he neglected my warning and thus I feared for his life. I shadowed the youth keeping an eye on him, when suddenly... from the skies appeared a craft not of this world! I tried my best to protect him, but alas, his fate was sealed."

The crowd watched silently as Cherry finished his tale. Ken blinking in utter shock, but he decided to remain civil for the moment. The Judge cleared his throat, calling to attention. "Defense, you may proceed with your cross-examination. The little lawyer gave a polite bow, and walked over to the witness stand.

"Umm...Mr. Cherry, is it?" The little lawyer asked.

"Cherry will do just fine, young one" The monk politely answered

"Cherry, when you said you tried your best to protect Kenichi, what did you mean?"

Cherry clutched his staff as he remembered the events. "I used all my powers and abilities to defend Kenichi from the invad-"

"**Hold it!** Umm...I mean exactly...what did you do?" The little impostor asked, Cherry sweatdropped.

"..."

"..."

"...I prayed for his soul to rest peacefully, of course." Cherry flatly answered.

All students could only blink in shock, Ken on the other hand, he decided to...

***WHAM*** "You worthless little munchkin! ! ! I oughta tear you apart!" ...bury his foot on the useless monk's skull. So much for civility.

"...they didn't tie your legs?" The monk weakly asked. Ken only growled in response. "...'tis fate..." The monk claimed in defeat.

"Well anyway..." Megane interrupted the shenanigans "...let us continue, if Cherry's account is to be belie-"

"**Not so fast!**" Everyone turned to the new speaker, namely one very angry Ken. "Is this for real! ? Your Honor, are you seriously gonna believe these claims without any evidence, are ya? *kon?*"

"**Objection!"** Megane called. "It just so happens we do have evidence. We submit these satellite pictures for the court to peruse." Once the bespectacled prosecutor handed over some new images, these ones were projected to a screen, showing Ken running away from a U.F.O. Ken glared at the social studies teacher, so that was how he was going to play it, eh?

"...As you can see, here we can witness Aoki running-"

**"Not so fast!**" Countered the pony-tailed one. "How do we know these pictures are real?" The crowd murmured in agreement, Megane wasn't one to take the side of the students in any sort of matters actually, it wasn't a secret that he carried a near pathological hatred for the kitsune-like boy. Megane glared at the youth, he would not lose a battle of wits against him.

"**Objection! **If you are certain these images are fake, then present some evidence to it, Aoki!" Megane countered

"**Not so fast!** You presented these pics, it's up to you to verify them!" Ken shot back

"**Objection!** We just so happened to have acquired these via one of the surveillance satellites belonging to the Mendou conglomerate, and so-" Megane argued

"**Not so fast!** As if! A no-name, good-for-nothing teacher having contacts like that billionaire zaibatsu! ? Yeah right, *kon!*" Ken counter-argued. The audience was getting quite dizzy with this metaphorical match of argument/rebuttal ping pong. Who knew who would be the first to break?

"**Objection!** That was quite objectio- ***CRASH***" Megane was suddenly buried under a series of desks all kicked by the defendant in question.

**"SHADDUP ALREADY!" **Ken growled out, as the chains binding his arms were starting to strain. The heated argument finally claiming it's first victims: Ken's patience...oh and Megane in general too.

Usagi called out to the attention of the make-shift court. "Actually, Ken, my mom is the one who's had contact with the Mendou conglomerate. And those pictures are quite real, I assure you." This managed to deflate the chained youth.

"WHA-? REALLY?" Ken yelped, unbelieving, not the pictures mind you, the fact that Usagi had some very powerful connections...or at least her mom did. Megane raised up from the multitude of desks and cackled.

"Surprised, Aoki?" Megane taunted, Ken's eyes flared in white fire once more...it was...an unnerving trick, but it didn't matter, it was time to reveal his secret weapon. "We have done our homework in this regard and now it's time for you, Aoki, to answer one important question..."

Ken steeled his gaze, he would be ready for anything that rotten four-eyes would pull on him. Megane then unraveled a life-sized poster in front of the boy.

"Kenichi Aoki, do you recognize this-?"

"***KON!* E-EMI! ! !**" Ken answered by sheer instinct alone, cowering behind the witness stand. As a continuous act, he slapped his mouth shut [impressive feat, since he somehow managed to free one of his hands in the process], but he had already stuck his foot in it...on more ways than one.

The audience was silent, Megane looked at the boy confused, then at the poster he had unveiled. No, there wasn't a mistake, it was one of his prized **Lum** posters, then why did the boy blurt out a completely different name? In the gallery, the remaining members of the gang of four all exchanged serious looks...serious and worried looks. The little lawyer stood tense, not because of the tense silence that hung around the air, but of the intense killing intent that was permeating the atmosphere, many from several females in the audience, but the biggest source of blood lust came from Usagi, whose eyes were shinning a demonic glow and was apparently pulling out...an...enormous carrot?...a blunt weapon she reserved for particularly block-headed morons. Usagi started, in a murderous tone, a glare that could freeze the depths of hell, aimed at one Ken Aoki...in deep trouble...

Ken just now noticed the poster was not of Emi, but of her mother Lum...this answered some questions inside the boy's brain, but raised many more questions...of course, his line of thought was interrupted, when he felt his soul turn to the same consistency of artic ice as he noticed Usagi's glare.

"**Ke...nI...cHi, ...WhO...iS...tHiS...eMi!** ?" She asked glacially. Ken was frozen [in a 'deer in front of headlights' kind of way], but turned away and slowly sank in the witness stand and in a very small voice, he answered:

_"...I plead the fifth...*kon*..."_

* * *

**Thursday 9:45 A.M. - Oni Palace - Rebuilt Grand Hall - [Oniboshi]**

"DAD!" Emi yelled at her father.

"Dowah!" Ataru yelped as he slammed on the floor from the sudden outburst.

All around the palace, all the guards and servants were helping with the final touches to Lum's surprise party. Rei was eyeing the food hungrily [in cow form of course] but was keeping himself amazingly civil...even if he was famished, after all, it had only been five minutes since his last meal, Nu was busy directing all the servants in preparation, according to his calculations they should be ready in fifteen minutes.

"Yes take that holodisplay over to the corner and turn it 30 degrees to the left...no, I said 30 degrees, not 28.1756297475321 degrees!..."

Benten, Oyuki, Ran and Mr. Invader helping out as well alongside Ataru himself who had just finished hanging a big banner with the words 'Happy Birthday Lum' printed in huge bold letters, before Emi startled him off the huge ladder he had climbed in order to hang said banner and falling over two stories of height smack into the ground...business as usual for Ataru. Emi was giving her father a stern look, from up high where she was floating, as Ataru merely giggled back in his goofy-kind of way

"Hehehehehe...ehm...What's the matter, Emi?" Ataru asked, trying to pacify one of the angry electrifying women in his family.

"Oh...nothing dad...just...WHAT WERE YOU THINKING! ?" She suddenly yelled. "A 'Kitsune' shirt, really! ?"

"Oh that, hehehehe..." Ataru realized what she meant and stood up straight once more. "Figured it would suit him, eh?"

Benten shook her head, Tomobiki's Letcher always had a knack for pissing people off...both on purpose and accidentally. Emi glared at her father, the ominous smell of ozone in the air. "Are you trying to embarrass me in front of Swe-er... Kenichi?"

"Emi...I'm your father...of course I'm trying to embarrass you in front of him! It's in the job description, GYAHAHAHAHA!" Ataru cackled.

"Here here" Mr. Invader cheerfully agreed, earning the glare of all the females in the room. "Eh...hehe...ehm...I'll shut up now..."

Emi just stared unbelieving, but stare turned to glare as she was about to enact Divine Retribution, her hands in position for the electric pitch when-

"**We're here!**"

A boisterous call came from the entrance, surprising the Oni princess on such a degree, she fell flat on her butt. This voice belonged to one Ken Aoki. Emi turned, a crimson hue flooding her face.

"K-Ken! ? What'cha doin here already?" Emi asked embarrassed, Ken merely tilted his head somewhat confused, he could've sworn she was two stories up in the air, the ponytailed one shook his head, maybe he had received one hit too many upside the head. "Wheeeeee hehehehehe!" A childish giggle was heard from behind the boy, Airi holding tight as the teen shook his head, it was then the human youth recalled the question.

"Oh, nothing, just bringing your lil' sis over." Ken answered brightly, the little Oni girl popping up from behind Ken. "Hiya!"

"Ah! Airi!" Emi instantly jumped to her feet, and walked over to the diminutive hitchhiker, what was her little sister up to now?. "What'cha think you're doing here, you little brat?" Emi asked in a low growl. Nu noticed this as well and hovered nearby, in hopes to prevent another sibling squabble.

"Princess Moroboshi, please control yourself..." Nu pleaded, keeping peace among the Moroboshi sisters was nothing short of impossible at times.

"Me and Big Bro here were just playing, Moron!" Airi answered

"NOW you call me 'Big bro'?" Ken flatly argued. "Also, really Emi, calling your own little sis a brat?" He chided at the Oni princess, who in turn tried to defend herself. "B-b-but she IS a brat! And aren'tcha gonna scold her? she called me 'Moron'!"

"*sniff*" Airi started sniffling jumping from behind Ken's head toward his arms, clutching the youth's chest. "Big sis Emi is always a meanie to me *sniff*" Airi started sobbing quietly as Ken did his to comfort the young Oni girl.

"There there, don't cry, you're a **good girl**, aren't you?" Ken cooed, and turned sternly at the Emi. "Emi you should be nicer to your little sister!" Emi looked at the mischievious little girl, through her fake tears, Airi stuck her tongue out at Emi, making sure Ken didn't notice. _Why that little, no-good-!..._ Before Emi could finish that line of thought, Ken interrupted her.

"Relax, Emi. I'm just babysitting your lil' sis for your mom." Ken answered, while Airi made a few more funny faces at her bigger sister.

"M-my mom?" Emi paled, just as everyone in the room was stopped flat on their tracks. Ataru stood up slowly, his face turning blue, both daugther and father recalling the fact that Airi was supposed to be with Lum.

"Oh yeah, by the way Mr.M? Your wife just got here, thought you should know." Ken finished, instantly panic erupted in the hall as everyone rushed in all directions. Nu quickly hovering in front of Ken.

"M-M-M-Master Ken, are you absolutely certain of that information?" Nu nervously asked. Ken just nodded. "Yeah, kon."

Nu closed his eyes. "Then as the Moroboshi butler it is my duty..." Emi and Ataru looked over at the traitorous little robot, he wouldn't!

"Nu, dont'cha dare-!"

"I'm warning you, you pocket-sized blabbermouth!"

The other aliens realizing just what Nu intended to do, Benten was about to unleash her chainwhip, while Ran already had a bazooka aimed at the robot, Rei just cowered in a corner. Nu backed up and in a burst of speed...

"**I MUST INFORM OF EVERYTHING TO LADY LU-!**" he blasted off in search of the Oni matriarch...or he would've if Ken's razor sharp reflexes hadn't caught the spherical tattletale mid flight, both father and daughter about ready to chase after him, breathed in relief along with everyone in the room. Ken [who curiously wondered just why was Miss Lum so frightening] brought the struggling robot to his face.

"Unhand me this instant, Master Ken!" Nu ordered, only to be meet with a very familiar smirk on the boy's face.

"Ken, don'tcha dare let him go!" Emi ordered, Ataru nodding in turn.

"Chill guys, I won't let Nu go anywhere until he agrees to a little NDA."

"NDA?" All Moroboshi's parroted, confused.

"Non-disclosure agreement." The boy clarified. Nu glared at the youth. "Dude, don't look at me like that, just we can't have you ruin her special day on account about what happened yesterday." Ken reasoned, everyone in the room agreeing with the pony-tailed fighter.

"It is not that..."Nu clarified.

"Huh? Then what?"

"It is just..." Nu considered his words for a moment. "How come you can use phrases like 'Non-disclossure agreement' correctly in context, while you are completely clueless to the definition of words like 'socializing' like back in the bar?" The little robot asked, recalling an incident in one a certain bar. This proved to be a lousy idea, since Ken tightened his grip considerably with both hands.

"Ixnay on the arbay incidentway, okay *kon! ?*" Ken growled in a low voice, Nu recalled he was forbidden to talk about what happened that day...he couldn't blame the boy, he wanted to forget that incident himself. Emi and Ataru merely stared

"Now are you gonna be a good little bot and keep your trap shut, or will I find out if I can take you apart and put you back together?" Considering the ominous creaking sounds coming from his own casing, the answer was clear.

"Fine, I will not say a word to Lady Lum! But please let me go!" Nu pleaded. Ken instantly released the robot. Emi applauding and cheering, Ataru breathed easy.

"Kitsune!" Ataru called, instantly earning a glare from Emi and an unamused expression from Ken. "I have a NEW mission for you, Nogitsune [Wild fox]"

"Dude! WTF! ? Now you're downgradin' me, *kon! ?*" Ken complained.

"You have to stall my wife, for as long as you can, you hear" Ataru commanded

Ken glared at the older human, but resumed a flat expression. "What's in it for me?"

"Godsdammit, Kitsune!" Benten's yell erupted from one side of the hall. "Just do as you are told, for once!"

Ken stuck his tongue, as Airi climbed back to the back of the boy's head and mirrored him. "*Bih!* I'd like ta see ya make me, old hag."

"Old hag! *bih!*" Airi parroted, Ataru made a mental note of this, Ken was already being a bad influence.

Benten gritting her teeth, she unclasped the chains around her chest and whipped it towards Ken. Emi, who happened to have been on the line of attack, dodged with lightning [no pun intended] speed, by squatting; Ken on the meantime sidestepped away, Airi hanging tight and squealing happily. Benten retracted the chain followed with a succession of chain whips, Both Ken and Emi dodging, Emi considerably faster than Ken, the only victims were some of the tables fixed up behind the trio.

_Holy...! Where the hell did Emi learn to move like that! ? Is it some sort of alien power or something! ? She's reading all attacks on an instinctual level, she's beyond master class!...No! No way, it's probably **dumb luck**, that's it._

Benten was about to unleash another barrage of attacks when...

***CLICK***

That telltale 'click' belonged to a bazooka...trained on her.

"Listen, you bitch! If we have to fix the Grand Hall all over again because of you, I'll vaporize your stupid head off!" Ran warned, her trigger finger twitching slightly. Benten laughed nervously, for once, Ran was in the right...albeit for the wrong reasons, as always. Emi then turned to Ken, doing her best puppy eyes and clasping her hands in a pleading expression.

"Please Ken~ny, stall mom. For me~" Emi asked in her sweetest voice. Ken stared, and chuckled lightly, no way he would say no to that face, specially cconsidering his plans for the princess.

"Sure Emi, anything you say, *kon*." Ken brightly accepted the mission.

"YAHOO! Thank you~!" The Oni beauty jumped towards the ponytailed human and planted a huge kiss square on his lips. Ken was catatonic for a moment giggling lightly, quickly shaking his head, snapping out of his stupor. "Let's go, lil' Airi!"

"Hiyoo, Ken!" And with that Ken dashed out of the room, Emi blushing a crinsom red as she absentmindedly waved the air good bye.

Everyone looked in shock at what happened. Ataru for once who had received the biggest non-electrically-induced shock of them all. He shook his head and called for his father-in-law.

"Yes, Son-in-law?" Mr. Invader asked. Ataru rubbing his eyes, as if to erase what he just saw.

"Yeah, Father? You still carry ungodly amounts of Sake with you?" The current warlord asked the former warlord.

"Sure! You know I love light drinks!"

"Good, gimme a bottle!" Ataru ordered. As Ataru grabbed a bottle, Oyuki approached the older human a questioning expresion on her face.

"Pardon Ataru, but isn't Sake a very inebriating drink for humans like you?" The Ice queen asked. Ataru nodded and started gulping down it's contents.

"Exactly! If I have to watch that kind of crap, at least I wanna be as drunk as humanly poss-*hic*-ible."

Oyuki nodded in understanding, Benten approached and grabbed another bottle for herself and also downed the beverage. "You too, Benten?" Oyuki asked.

"Nah, this is to keep me from killing that idiot kid. *gulp*" The lucky goddess answered.

Ran merely looked at the door a very displeased expression on her face, her husband beside her, eating a chocolate bar. Ran said to her beloved in a low voice _"Remy won't like this one bit..."_ The Gaki woman condemned, Rei nodded in agreement...even if he didn't really know what he was agreeing to, not that it ever bothered him.

Trouble was brewing once more...

To be continued...


	14. Party Time!

Chapter 14 "Party time!"

All original cast and elements of Urusei Yatsura belong to Rumiko Takahashi The OCs are mine though.

Enjoy if you will.

* * *

Tomobiki was always an interesting place to live, what with all the alien invasions, reality-altering shenanigans, and other paranormal nonsense that occurred on a near daily basis? But once Tomobiki's infamous Letcher and the Oni Princess left the planet, a sense of normalcy returned. However an ominous wind blew through the streets of this fair town. Twenty seven years have passed by and a new player arrives to Tomobiki, Ken Aoki, a fighter from Kyoto with a mysterious past and one who had received the title of "Invincible Demon-Fox". Tomobiki will become the epicenter of all weirdness and chaos once more.

* * *

******Friday 1:30 P.M. - Tomobiki High - Gymnasium [Earth]**

Ken was in deep...well...you know...

The Prosecution, composed of most teachers that hated his guts, lead by Megane, the one teacher who's hate for the boy reached pathological levels, were confused. More by the name Ken spouted other than the reaction that followed. What could this mean?, was the question in Megane's mind.

On the other hand, his own defense was all but ready to execute him. Usagi knew of Ken's constant flirtatious nature and tried everything in the world to...well... the correct term would be to train him out of it. She knew he dated around (something that infuriated her) but she thought she had a good grip on the whole situation, as well as some degree of control over Ken's nature [or at least she thought she had]...but somehow she sensed...that name...would only bring fury and anger to the blonde girl.

The Judge, or rather the Principal, scratched his head confused. It was all too clear that they were all missing a huge chunk of the story. He had agreed on this little mock-trial experiment, but now that he considered it, if Ken was truly guilty [of something, though he wasn't too clear as to on what] then what sort of sentence should the 'Kitsune' boy go through? The boy was rather...**untamed** as it was.

And right in the middle of it all was Kenichi Aoki, cursing his luck, trying to wiggle free out of the chains that currently bound him. The chains stood fast, and Ken dropped his head in defeat, once more reminiscing on how did he wind up in this situation...and on the girl who had struck fear right onto the core of the fighter previously known as 'Invincible'. With an almost inaudible sigh, Ken uttered

_"...Emi you moron..."_

* * *

**Thursday 10 A.M.- Oni Palace - Halls [Oniboshi]**

Lum had been wondering the halls wistfully, reminiscing on times past. On how she met her Darling and all the adventures she had, on the many wonderful friends she had made in Tomobiki, and how there was never a dull day. In a word, she felt never realized how much she missed Earth and all the adventures and mishaps they all had in that wonderful and weird planet, until this fellow showed up. For some reason, Ken felt like he had brought a little of the spirit of Tomobiki with him, could it be that the boy came from that city?

..._Now that I think about it...How did this Ken fellow wind up here?_

Lum absently wondered, it was a very good question...but it was soon diverted by another pressing thought.

_I really should try to get those two together and get them dating, they make a cute couple and who knows...*giggle*_

As the Oni Empress thought about this, a certain raven-haired youth sneaked up behind her.

"Everything all right, Mrs. M?" Ken asked abruptly making the Oni empress jump suddenly out of shock, reaching the halls chandeliers and grabbing onto them for dear life. When Lum turned to see the perpetrator of the prank, she saw the pony-tailed youth grinning slightly and her youngest daughter, still latched to the back of the boy's head, giggling as hard as she could.

"*giggle* We sure got you, mommy!" Airi cheered, Lum pouted for a moment togive a stern dissaproving look to both Oni girl, and human youth. Ken stiffled a laugh. "Hehe...ahem...need any help, Mrs. M?"

Lum's features softened, she never could do the whole stern, scary-parent schtick. [Though Ten would argue otherwise] Lum merely shook her head and jumped off, descending smoothly to the floor, she noticed the boy studying her descent, as if he was trying to figure something out.

"Hmm...now I wonder..." started Lum "...do YOU need any help?" she asked to the youth, breaking his concentration. Ken for his part blinked a couple of times before he quickly started shaking his head to clear his thoughts. Airi giggling as her 'horsie' bucked.

"Oh ah nevermind, I was just...hehehe...nothing..." The boy nervously waved off. Lum thought now would be as good as any chance to ask him.

"Are you from...Tomobiki by any chance?"

Ken was truly taken aback by this...but he considered this the best chance he could get to make time till her party...and it also raised a few questions on the youths mind. Ken decided to answer truthfully.

"Actually, I'm from Kyoto, but I've been living in Tomobiki-cho over in Nerima for the past few months...but how did ya know?"

Lum merely gave an enigmatic smile. "Woman's intuition, and well, you sort of remind me of Tomobiki back on Earth..." She answered, the boy just scratched his head wondering about that, but before his mind could wrap around the situation, he considered something...

"Yeah, I think I heard something about that. Mr. M is from Earth, right?"

"You mean Darling? You betcha!" Ken slowly mouthed the Darling part, laughing a little._ Pet names, adorable. You might as well have the guy on a leash!,_ the boy thought to no one in particular.

"You're from Earth too, Big Bro Ken?" Airi asked

"Yeah, I'm terran."

"How'd you get here?" Airi wondered.

Ken opened his mouth to say, but quickly recalled the reactions both Ataru and Emi had about Lum figuring out. Airi stared at the young man, his mouth agape, suddenly put on the spot. If he told the truth, then both Emi and her father would be in deep trouble, but then what possible excuse could he give about his presence here...

Lum tilted her head, the boy was taking an awful long while to answer a simple question..."

"Ken...?"

"AH! Err..." The boy bashfully scratched the back of his head. "Umm...well...the Earth space program ran out of monkeys, so they sent me, hehehehehe" The boy forced a laugh as he lied.

"But how did they know where to find Oniboshi?" The Oni empress wondered.

Ken started sweating bullets. "Well, I sorta crash-landed here...hehehe" He half lied, technically he did. But if this kept going Lum would stumble on a question that would really put the boy in hot water, thus he decided to ask the next question.

"You guys have been to Tomobiki?"

"Yes, I used to live with Darling's parents when we were back on Earth, we both met many friends and had so many adventures back then." Lum nostalgically reminisced.

"..._though I could easily have done without Darling's 'girl hunts'_..." she growled out lowly, low enough for Ken not to hear.

"Huh?"

"Ah! Nevermind, just thinking on something...annoying" Lum waved off, earning a confused look from the boy, but Ken decided it probably wasn't all that important...though he could've sworn he heard her growl out the words 'girl hunts'...anyone else wouldn't think too hard about that, but the boy considered himself concerned...for about 2 seconds afer he waved it off as something unimportant [the fool]

"Anyways, Lum-san...tell me about your time in Tomobiki." Ken asked

"Oh, I don't know...it was such a long time ago..." Lum considered.

"C'mon Mommy, I wanna hear the story too!" Airi pleaded, Ken laughed at the little girl's enthusiasm.

"Two against one, Lum-san. I'm afraid you lost." Ken declared as Airi giggled. Lum gave a warm smile at the duo and walked to a bench, she signaled both of them to come take a seat. Both human and Oni made their way to the seats, Lum took a finger to her mouth.

"Where should I start? Where...? AH!" She exclaimed

"Say Ken, Have you ever heard about Earth's Tag Race against the Oni?" Lum started her tale, about how her adventures on Earth started, with her motley audience of two, listening intently.

* * *

Ken was brought back to the present, suddenly grabbed by the neck of his shirt and shaken by his then girlfriend, Usagi Miyake, though she was closely followed by an entourage of angry female classmates. The boy noticed the teachers crumpled in a heap to one side of the room, the idiots probably tried to stop them. Ken was now being lifted, by the appropriately nicknamed 'Hulk Bunny', Usagi Miyake.

"I'm asking you again: **WHO IS THIS EMI?**" Usagi's voice was no longer cold, and furious, it was fiery and furious with the same intensity of the flames of hell. Odd, the boy thought, maybe he did die and went to hell.

"Answer the question Aoki!" One of the other girls asked, Saeko

"You said I was the only one!" Minami, another classmate complained

"Now you go for 'Alien' girls? Go to hell, Aoki!" Midori, yet another girl, mouthed off to Ken.

"Traitor!" "Letcher!" "Unfaithful creep!" "Perv!" "Two-timer!" It was then that all the estrogen fueled lynch mob stopped and stared at each other, their gazes going from surprise, to confusion, to realization, then to a renewed downright fury. They had all realized Ken was cheating on all of them...at the same time.

All these girls, had one thing in common, they had all dated with the fighter at one point or another, and considered to be still in a relationship with the Kansai native. In his short time in Tomobiki High, Ken had become an infamous fighter, but just as well as an infamous lady killer. He was certainly attractive to the fairer sex and many girls fell for his charms, though a delinquent, many of Tomobiki's female gender actively dreamed of reforming and dating the wayward youth. But Ken was no idiot [well, he was, but not that big an idiot], he managed to keep all his women separate, but right now all of them figured out his womanizing attitude and were surrounding the kitsune-like boy, ready to lynch the idiot. Usagi leading the charge, curiously stared back at her...'competition' then took another look at the bruised and battered idiot fighter in her hands.

"So...'no flirting with other girls' , eh?" Usagi's voice held a very, VERY dangerous tone.

"Err...well...you see...*gulp*" Ken was in deep, he had managed to keep all these women from discovering their relationship with him, but now...how the hell could he escape from this situation. He also noticed a few random students [awfully familiar one's, seven of them to be exact] trying to pacify the angry female mob...with little success [Ken of course, didn't notice the fox tails and ears all these students had]. He also noticed from a corner of his eyes that Cherry was reciting his last rites.

"DON'T DO THAT, YOU STUPID MONK!"

"**KeNiChI!**" Usagi yelled at the boy, getting his attention back, the little lawyer tried to get her to calm down...to no avail. Ken had no escape, he could only hope for a miracle at this point.

***BOOM***

A loud boom resounded throught the room, everyone stood still.

"W-what was that?" Megane asked, having recovered his senses. The whole class looked around, that loud boom came from outside. On the door's entrance stood Onsen-Mark, mouth agape pointing at something in the sky.

"L-l-l-l-LOOK!" He shouted.

All the students and faculty quickly made their way outside, and stared at something so utterly unbelievable in their lifetimes. Even the lynch mob were moving to the doors, leaving Ken and Usagi behind. Usagi gave Ken one more withering look. "I'll deal with you later, Two-timing Kitsune!" As she said this she dropped the pony-tailed youth unceremoniously on the floor. Ken did a kip up, and wlaked to the doors trying to squeeze throught the sea of people. Once he managed to get to the front of the mob, he wondered what the hell mess was...Ken paled, in fact, all color drained from his face as he saw what Onsen-Mark and the others saw, and the boy dropped to his knees.

It was a gigantic UFO that pierced through the clouds of the sky, an enormous, **tiger-striped UFO.**

All the students could only watch in utter shock [poor choice of words, really], while Megane and the four, well, their jaws already met floors by now. Ken wanted to scream, but there was no voice. He wanted to run, but his legs were paralyzed in fear...all he could do was give a pathetic grin...and cry. Megane was ecstatic, after 27 long years, he would finally meet again their green haired goddess once more. Usagi couldn't believe her eyes but there was a true bonafide UFO looming in the sky

"_She's heeeeree..."_ The fighter managed to utter. No! He had managed to escape her! He ran as fast as he could! He managed to barely make it back to Earth! But no, she followed him! The one girl...the one girl Ken wanted nothing to do with! The one girl that scared the boy down to his very core! ! !

Usagi noticed the pitiful whine from Ken and asked, a question she would regret asking. "Who?"

Ken looked back at the whole student body, his soon-to-be-ex girlfriend, his teachers, and even the little lawyer guy and the firendly-but-oddly familiar classmates were looking at him curiously. There was no way out, he was truly and definitely trapped, might as well come clean...

"_...Who?..." _Ken parroted, and with a pitiful chuckle he answered:

_"...My wife..."_

The shock was such, Megane's glasses cracked as the other teacher's jaws broke through the floor simultaneously, and a Cherry-worthy explosion blasted a good deal of the students away. Usagi's eye twitched as she heard what Ken just said, loud and clear, the seven students and the little lawyer [who seemed to be his only allies in the world right now] gasped in shock. Everyone in Tomobiki High reacted as one:

**"YOUR _WHAT! ? ! ?"_**

* * *

**Thursday 12 P.M.- Oni Palace - Halls [Oniboshi]**

Emi rushed through the halls, everything was ready. Ken had done quite a great job stalling her mom, but now it was time for the party. She turned a corner flying at top speed when she saw her mom and Ken, who still had an Oni brat clutching the back of said boy's head, talking. She descended nearby and walked over to the trio, approaching Ken and co. from the back.

"...and then I found out Darling got infected, his skin had turned into pink and green stripes!" Lum finished her tale. Her audience laughing boisteruosly.

"PFFT! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA, F-for reals! ? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Ken laughed, as he pictured Ataru head to toes in pink/green zebra print. Airi giggled as well, picturing the ridiculous mental image.

"giggle* If you think that's funny, maybe I should tell you of Emi's first sleepover" Lum said with a mischievous smile

Emi paled. She recalled the events of that sleepover her mother mentioned. _It wasn't my fault! I-I had too much to drink! Besides I was only a kid back then! !_

"**MOM!**" She yelled, scaring Ken and making him into a fight stance, a conditioned response if anything. He instantly recognized the Oni princess as the culprit of the scare

"GEEZ! Don't scare me like that!" Ken huffed. Airi popped overhead, sticking her tongue at her, guess Ken wasn't the only one surprised...speaking of surprises

"E-Emi-chan!" Lum exclaimed as she saw her daughter and jumped to her giving a tight hug. "I was so worried! Me and your father were so worried! Thank goodness you're okay!" Emi was confused at first, but then she recalled she did runaway from home a while back, she probably forgot with all the excitement and whatnot. As her mother hugged her, Emi blushed, at the embarrasing situation, specially since Ken was watching, and chuckling lightly, as well as she saw Airi's taunting grin [That little brat! Emi had mallet with her name on it.]. It was then that Lum's caring smile turned into reproachful scowl, as she held her daughter at arms length, ready to scold her.

"Emi-chan! What were you thinking! ? Running away like that! What if something happened to you?" Lum scolded.

Ken gave a very suspicious, unsuspecting cough, while glancing to the side. Emi glared at the boy, their eyes doing all the talking.

_You be quiet! _Was the message behind Emi's glare.

_I didn't say anything, hehehe. _Ken's confident smirk communicated, oddly enough they both understood each other

Lum stared at the both, having the distinct feeling that she wasn't getting the full picture. Of course, she knew she was forgetting something!

"*ahem* Ken-san? Perhaps I should let the both of you have some time by yourselves to get to know each other better" She eagerly suggested. Both teens stared at the Oni empress, until Ken realized what she meant.

"Um...Lum-san, we already know each other quite well." Ken commented with a grin. Emi started getting nervous, Ken noticed this...hmmm...

"Oh? And how did you meet?"Lum asked sincerely, suddenly interested in their apparent history, Emi started panicking and sweating. _He wouldn't! He wouldn't dare tell mom everything that just happened...would he?_

"Weeeell..." Ken rambled, enjoying her panicky look a little too much, but in the end decided to give the rebellious princess a break.

"I was in a spot of trouble and she helped me out, that's it." Ken vaguely admitted, Emi nearly deflated from the stress.

"What sort of trouble?" Lum inquired further, making Emi panic again.

"Eh? I was...stuck, she helped me out of a jam...nothing too interesting." The boy shrugged, Emi deflated again, then she noticed the playful smirk in the earth boy's face, followed by a playful wink in her direction. _Ouuuh, he's doing this on purpose!_

"Anyway-" Ken decided to change the subject. "- Everything ok, Emi?"

"Huh? Oh right!" The princess suddenly remembered what she came for, and turned to her mother. "Mom, Daddy wnats to see you."

"Oh? You and Darling are back in speaking terms then?" Lum wondered, happily.

Emi gulped for a bit, she forgot the whole argument about being the tag champion"Err...yeah, well, we agreed to a truce." The green haired teen deadpanned. "Anyway let's go."

"All right!" Lum beamed, she honestly missed seeing her Darling's face walked ahead quickly turning a corner and flying quickly [out of the teen's, specially Ken's, sight]. Ken was about to follow, when he felt a painful sting right on his shoulder.

**"YEOW!"** Ken yelled and turned his head to look at the culprit, her teeth buried with a very annoyed scowl "EMI! Did you just bit me! ?" he asked the painfully obvious question, slightly annoyed

"Thfth fuo scaerang me bleack thefre" She said, still biting his shoulder. Ken gave her a blank expression. "Translation?" He asked turning to Airi.

"I think Big Sis said: 'That's for scaring me back there'" Ken ahh'ed, Emi released the boy from the bite, pouting at him. Ken glared for a moment, that bite HURT!

_Geez! What're her teeth made of! ? _He wondered, he could get angry, he should've been angry...

...But he honestly couldn't bring himself to get angry to the alien princess. One look at her eyes and Ken felt all rage defusing. He wouldn't admit it [just yet] but he had fallen for the Oni princess.

"Guess I had it coming, heheheh." The terran laughed off.

"Hmph, you're terrible" Emi pouted, puffing her cheeks in annoyance. Ken lightly rubbed the sore spot on his shoulder as he walked over to Emi.

_Man, she's got a nasty bite! Emi's tougher than she looks..._ He thought, but he then took a good look at the Oni princess, still pouting, and found himself smiling.

_Still, she's definitely a keeper...  
_

"Emi, I was only having a little fun at your expense, c'mon..." Emi just 'hmphed', turning away from Ken, but keeping an eye open. She saw the boy lean close and giving a quick peck on her cheek, she blushed taking her hand to her face, lightly touching the spot he kissed.

"Forgive me?" Ken said in a sweet voice. Emi turned away for a moment, pretending to still be angry, though Ken had read her body language enough to know she wasn't mad anymore. Emi turned and brightly smiled.

"Ok, Ken...but just cause it's you." She said giggling slightly as she made her way back to the grand hall. "Mom! Wait up!" She turned the hall's corner and and disappeared after her mom. Leaving Ken and Airi behind. Ken lightly rubbed the sore spot on his shoulder.

"Ow!...Yeah, that's gonna leave a mark..." The fox-like boy examined. "But still..." His expression turned into a rather goofy looking kind of one, when Airi leaned close, she noticed it was quite similar to the face her dad made when Auntie Benten, Auntie Oyuki, or Auntie Ran dropped by to visit. The little Oni girl had taken a shine to the terran fighter, so she decided to give him a fair warning.

"You know, Big Sis has a really nasty temper, Big bro. You should be careful..." Airi warned, Ken for his part just shrugged.

"Nah, I think you're exaggerating. Besides her bite wasn't that bad." Ken waved off. Airi leaned over to the affected shoulder and lightly tapped it, earning a hushed "Ow!" and a flinch from the human.

"~Don't say I didn't warn you, Big Bro~" Airi singsonged, Ken just shook his head and triangle jumped off the walls, and they were both making their way to the grand hall, Airi giggling all the way.

* * *

**********Thursday Party time- Oni Palace - Grand Hall [Oniboshi]**

Ken shortly arrived to the Grand Hall, following Lum and Emi's scents respectfully...though their scents were mostly aerial, but the boy chalked it up to some sort of Oni physical prowess, they had probably traveled via triangle jumps all the way.

Yes, Ken had not figured one of the many crucial facts of Oni, though it was just a matter of time.

As Ken gave a couple of steps towards the Grand Hall, he saw Emi and Lum standing over the doors, Emi talking to her mom about something or another, he didn't quite make what the conversation was about because of the distance, but as he approached, he started hearing bits and pieces.

"...something important about Ken?..." Lum asked

"Yeah mom, but I kind of need to check a few things first." Emi said, it was then she noticed Ken. "Ken!"

"Yo babe!" The terran boy amicably said hi...in his own way. _An announcement about me? Hmm...Wonder what could it be? Well, I still have to tell Mr.M about my decision_

Emi jumped over to the boy and smiled at him. "Could you and mom wait out here for a moment, I need'tcha check something."

"I'm sure I can help, Emi-chan." Her mother tried to follow but Emi quickly waved her not to. "**NO!** I mean...wait here, please." The Oni princess pleaded. Emi shut the door behind her leaving Lum, Ken and Airi to themselves.

Soon afterwards some Oni attendants started to arrive, one of them was pushing what seemed like a rolling changing booth.

"Master Ken Aoki?" The head attendant asked, Ken nodded, already used to the title, while Oni mother and daughter wondered the same thing: _"Master?"_

"We were summoned by Warlord Moroboshi Ataru, to ensure proper attire for you, Master Ken."

The boy cocked his head, which looked funny with Airi propping herself over Ken's head, tilting her head as well. "Proper attire?" He recalled something about that.

In an instant, before he could even react [which shocked the seasoned fighter] Ken was pulled, Airi floated off of the boy's head in time to see the attendants pushing Ken into a changing booth. Inside the booth, a struggle between Ken and the attendants could be heard.

"Oe oe oe! Where do you think you'r- HEY! what the-! LEGGO! Hey! Hands off, pal!"

As the struggled carried on, Airi gently floated over to Lum's head and latched on her. Both blinking confused. The attendant took a bow towards empress and young princess. "Pardon, but given that Master Ken was invited to the event we were to ensure he would be dressed properly."

Lum blinked confused, but inmediately asked. "Event? What event?"

Before she could get an answer Ken dashed off of the changing booth, instead of the clothes he had been wearing he emerged with a very stylish looking black suit, the dress shirt was still unbuttoned around the neck. Ken's hair had been groomed from his previous messiness into a sleek straight hairstyle, style tied into a ponytail. Ken ferally growled at the Oni attendant who had changed his outfit. "KON!" He barked making the attendant flinch away. In that moment the doors to the Grand Hall opened, Lum turned to see...

!

And she was greeted with a sight of most of her closest friends and acquaintances, her family and in the middle, her beloved husband, the man she had fallen in love with so many years ago, the unlucky boy with whom she had lived thousands of adventure who had become the father of her children and the love of her life, her sweet Darling. Ataru smiled warmly at Lum. Lum's eyes widened in surprise as she stepped into the hall, greeted in unison by everyone with the chant of:

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LUM!**

To say Lum was surprised was an understatement...

* * *

Meanwhile Ken peered inside when suddenly Airi jumped off her mother's head back to the boy's noggin.

"You really like it up there, don't ya?" Ken asked. Airi giggled in response.

"Uh huh" she nodded. "Specially since it doesn't smell like sweat anymore."

"Oe, listen here-!" Ken was about to scold Airi, when he was hushed by a voice to his side, Ken turned to see Emi who had somehow sneaked up on him.

"Emi?" Ken asked, wondering why he was shushed just now.

Emi just shushed him again and with a smile she softly said: "Watch"

Ken blinked confused a couple of times, but decided to watch the unfolding events

* * *

As she tentatively took a few steps towards her husband, she looked around, the Grand Hall was magnificent, she had never seen it like this before...actually it almost looked like a completely different hall than the one she recalled. [Though if she had known it **had** to be rebuilt her shock and awe would be quite diminished, but she didn't need to know that now did she?] She then found herself face to face with her beloved husband, the boy, now a man, whom she swore she would make him tell her that she loved him, even if it took her entire life.

"D-Darling?" Lum said hesitant

"Bet you'd thought I'd forget, eh Lum?" Ataru said chuckling. Lum instantly realized, and she started to tear up. Taking her hands to wipe off the tears, she dashed over to her husband and enveloped him in a tight embrace.

"_Darling no baka..."_ She said softly to which Ataru merely replied with a grin.

"Happy Birthday, Lum."

To be continued...

* * *

Please read and review


	15. Party crashers

Chapter 15 "Party crashers"

All original cast and characters of Urusei Yatsura belong to Rumiko Takahashi. I own only the OCs

Enjoy if you will

This is by far the longest chapter I've written, but it's time to start wrapping things up

* * *

Tomobiki was always an interesting place to live, what with all the alien invasions, reality-altering shenanigans, and other paranormal nonsense that occurred on a near daily basis? But once Tomobiki's infamous Letcher and the Oni Princess left the planet, a sense of normalcy returned. However an ominous wind blew through the streets of this fair town. Twenty seven years have passed by and a new player arrives to Tomobiki, Ken Aoki, a fighter from Kyoto with a mysterious past and one who had received the title of "Invincible Demon-Fox". Tomobiki will become the epicenter of all weirdness and chaos once more.

* * *

******Friday 1:45 P.M. - Tomobiki High - School grounds [Earth]**

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR **WIFE**! ?" Usagi yelled as she was shaking the boy, who could just stare at the enormous UFO flying overhead, laughing in a slightly unhinged manner. He idly saw a few fighter jets and tanks moving by, yeah like that'd help. A few random students approached the two [whom for some reason, were all oddly familiar], but they kept silent

One of these tanks approached the school entrance, followed by a regular looking Sedan, Ken had recognized. From the car, Usagi's parents and Ken's boss, Shinobu, Inaba and Kousuke emerged and ran over to were the teachers and students were all huddled together. From the tank, Ken saw a stuck-up, snobbish looking man jump out of the military tank, he also walked over to the group. Megane saw them approaching and addressed the man from the tank

"Mendou..."

"Megane..." The man nodded, he also bowed to Shinobu and Inaba. "Shinobu-san...Inaba..." The man took one look to the looming UFO, floating over the city, and immediately took stock of the situation.

"We haven't made any contact, but we have confirmed that the craft itself is of Oni origin, a far much more advanced model to any previously recorded."

"Gee, ya think! ? TELL ME SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW, MENDOU!" Megane spat back. "You'd have to be color blind to not tell that thing is Oni!"

Ken was still laughing quite unhinged, earning worried glances from everybody present. Shinobu decided to ignore it and turned to the billionaire.

"Mendou-san, do you know if Ataru-kun or Lum are in there?" Shinobu asked, as Mendou opened his mouth to admit he did not know, Ken's voice broke through

"**BWAHAHAHAHAHA, **You know it! Lum-san and Ataru are definitely up there! **GYAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"** the boy having reached his mental limits, and casting away any self-preservation instincts he had in the process, now fully confessed, as he cackled maniacaly.

"Go fig, Usagi's plan actually worked...though not quite how we would've expected it." Perm commented to his colleagues, all nodding in agreement. Megane approached the boy and decided to get a good explanation, though he feared what this could entail.

"Aoki, tell me, how do you know Ataru and Lum?" He asked calmly. Ken didn't answer leaving only his unhinged cackling to be heard, all the while Cherry approached the boy

"Kenichi Aoki, fate has conspired against you time and again to humble you, to try and force you to cast away the arrogance and pride you always carry. You refused the sage advice of your elders, as well as of those around you. You have paraded the title of 'Invincible', truly believing yourself to be so, you became complacent and neglected training. Your abilities became dull with time, but you still held to that foolish sense of arrogance. You have tricked everyone time and again, but now you must finally pay for your misdeeds!"

Ken stopped laughing altogether as he listened to the monk.

"I see that your trials are only starting, and you may try to escape fate with all your power, but your fate was sealed long ago. Even if you yourself don't realize it." Cherry doomed the boy with this sentence.

"W-what're you saying?" Ken now a little less unhinged asked.

"We learn from the past, so we can avoid falling into the same mistakes!" Cherry sentenced. "Wether you deserve this fate or not, one thing is clear to me. You can no longer hope to **escape**."

"Because the Oni that looms in your life, may be the only one to finally tame your wild spirit. For better or for worse!..."

Cherry finally bowed and walked away.

As Cherry finished, Ken's ears perked as he heard a familiar voice, one that filled him with dread. Usagi only stared at the boy, her blood still boiling, but she turned hearing something in the distance. Everyone stared into the sky, trying to find the source, Ken had already detected the source and tried to scramble away from Usagi as fast as he could, the blond girl holding fast.

"Where do you think you're going! ?" She yelled

"**LEMME GO!** Please, Bunny, for pity's sake, **LET ME GO!**" Ken pleaded.

Natsu pointed to the sky. "Over there!" Right where he was pointing, a small, green dot could be seen in the distance. Bantarou and his gang quickly grabbed a set of binoculars and a telescope they recalled seeing during the trial. But what they saw through them, they could not believe their eyes.

"WHOA" Bantarou exclaimed as he had to share his binoculars with Souta, the larger boy for his part whistled appreciatively. Natsu and Minoru fighting, were both trying to look through a telescope.

"It's a girl!" Minoru said, and was quickly pushed away by the taller boy as he examined through the telescope.

"A babe, a drop-dead, gorgeous babe in a bikini! ! !" Natsu added. Immediately, all the male student body scrambled back to the building and quickly came back carrying binoculars, telescopes, magnifying glasses and even cameras. They could all see her: A beautiful green haired girl, wearing a tiger print bikini and a jacket, they noticed the horns on her head confirming that she was truly an Oni...a stunningly beautiful Oni at that.

"Sh-she's an Oni!" Minoru exclaimed.

"A hot Oni-babe!" Added Natsu.

"She's...too cute!" Souta blurted

"WHAT! ?" Usagi yelled, she then turned at the desperate delinquent, noticing the look of **true fear** in his eyes. For as long as Usagi had known him, she had never seen Ken like this. Ken on the meantime, his mind wandered back to yesterday, and to how this all happened...

* * *

**Oni Palace Grand Hall - Lum's Birthday Party**

The party had started, many talking and chatting amongst them, a huge collection of all sorts of creatures and aliens mingled and danced at the tune of the music. Ken looked on rather amazed, so far he had seen the King of the underground [constantly digging holes all over the place], a real, bonafide centaur, a bat winged beauty [looking for the aforementioned king], and many more creatures like the human boy it was a unique experience...for all the wrong reasons of course

_So many interplanetary babes...so little time...oh well, I may have my pick already, but that doesn't mean I won't be able to play the field now and then, hehehehe._

"Hehehehe..." The boy chuckled out loud as he scanned for the green haired beauty he would make his, and quickly found her.

Emi was spending some time chatting over with her parents at the main table excited about something, because of all the background noise Ken perked his ears, trying to make out the conversation.

* * *

"Daddy, I'm serious, please **try** to get along with Ken!" Emi pleaded as she tried her best puppy dog eyes towards Ataru, who merely chuckled.

"Gyahahaha, sure! I'll get along with the stupid kitsune just fine." Her father said, as Lum conspicuously took a sip from her glass and side glanced her husband.

"Darling, you of all people shouldn't call anyone stupid. Not with your track record at least..." she said smiling.

"What's that supposed to mean, Lum?" Ataru complained. Emi sighed, as she saw the conversation sidetrack and derail.

"Well...if the shoe fits..." Lum giggled a bit, Ataru looked at her confused.

"What's with you today?" Ataru asked as he examined Lum with a critical eye.

She was much happier than he recalled seeing her in a while, was she really this happy over the surprise party? Lum merely stared back at her husband, her blue eyes radiating warmth and love, the same as that snowy night, so many, many years ago. She quickly closed in and delivered a heartfelt kiss to Ataru, catching him completely by surprise, though he quickly kissed back, closing his eyes as well. [Emi on the sidelines couldn't help but sigh at the display, as she turned and glanced at Ken, all the while blushing brightly]. As Lum and Ataru finished their kiss, Lum smiled at Ataru once more.

"Darling...I love you, you know?" Lum said sweetly, Ataru for his part blinked a couple of times and scoffed.

"Pfeh! Just cause it's your birthday, you won't get me to say it. Only on my deathbed." Ataru stubbornly scoffed, it was then that Emi loudly groaned, it was always like this.

Her mom would say 'I love you' and all her idiot dad would answer was 'only on my deathbed'! It was infuriating, and her mom wasn't that much a fan of this stupid answer either! But something was different, Lum gave her husband an enigmatic smile instead of her usual pout.

"I know, my Darling...I know..." She said smiling as she took another sip from her glass, hiccuping a little.

"Eh? That's it? No 'why can't you be more honest' or no 'stubborn idiot'?" Ataru said...somewhat frightened.

"Nope...just..." Lum answered as she gulped her glass in one stroke, her face taking a slightly red coloration. "I'm **still** gonna make'tcha say it ***hic***...even if it takes my entire life." Lum finished.

Ataru blinked in surprise, and shook his head smiling, as he picked up his sake cup and raised it in a toast.

"Don't ever change, Lum."

Lum raised her glass as well.

"You too, Darling."

And both clinked their glasses, and Ataru quickly downed the contents of his cup. Lum was about to do the same when she noticed her glass was all out of umezu. "Phoeey...empty..." she signalled one of the servants for a refill, both parents drinking amicably, until they noticed their daughter looking at them weird.

Emi was giving suspicious glances to both her parents and finally spoke her mind: "Who are you, and what did'tcha do to my real mom and dad?"

Both Lum and Ataru shot an annoyed glare to their daughter as their answer.

* * *

Ken chuckled all too loudly as he heard the exchange between husband and wife, recalling his brief conversation with Emi's mother, just a few minutes earlier...

* * *

**Earlier that day...**

"...Should I tell you about the Second Tag Race as well?" Lum asked to the boy, Ken having heard about the first Tag race, was quite curious about this second one and nodded affirmatively. For the boy hearing all about the Oni, their plans to take over Earth and how it was trounced in the end by Ataru was interesting, if more so for the fact **that no one in the modern world even spoke of this event.** Lum quickly explained that because of a small incident dubbed "**The Oil Rain"**[1] the Japanese government decided to keep a very strict media blackout about the Oni, and that only the area of Tomobiki-cho would receive news and updates about them, Ken nodded in understanding.

_So that's why I've never heard anything about Oni before...kind of figures...all this stuff took place in the Showa era...Nothing a Heisei kid like me would know about, even less someone from all the way from Kyoto, I wonder if my parents ever heard about this...[2] _The boy thought, but shook his head as he noticed Lum staring at him.

"Eh? Ah yeah yeah! I wanna hear about the Second Tag Race. What happened, the Oni wanted another crack at Earth again?" Ken deduced.

But Lum shook her head in a negatory, as she had her eyes downcast as she remembered that critical event. "The stakes were...well, for me at least, much higher that day."

Ken tilted his head confused, stakes higher than the whole planet? That was a scary thought...

"I was gambling Darling's love for me...or rather I wanted him to prove that he loved me..."

Ken's eyes widened in realization, from the sound of it, it was a very tense event for Lum. But he quickly recalled that in the end she did marry Ataru, so this story would have a happy ending regardless.

"What did Mr. M have to do to prove that?" The terran fighter asked.

Lum gave a small smile in response. "All he had to do was...say that he loved me..."

Ken was surprised once again...he blinked a couple of times as he opened his mouth to ask, but he quickly closed it once a thought crept to his mind. Lum giggled a little as she noticed Ken's brain orking up a sweat.

"Looks like you've all but figured it out, I'll save you the trouble though: Yes, up to this day, **Darling has yet to say that he loves me.**"

To say Ken didn't expect this, would be an understatement as he suddenly slipped from his seat and suddenly fell on the floor.

"T-The HELL? Yo, Lum-san, are you serious? You guys have been married since ancient times and Mr.M has never said 'I love you'? For real! ?" Ken exclaimed hurriedly

Lum's eyebrow twitched, specially on the part of having 'been married since ancient times' (she didn't like the implication that she was old) but she ignored it. "Well...maybe if I explain all from the beginning 'tcha might understand a bit better."

Ken nodded, if anything this tale needed a lot of explaining to make sense.

Lum took a deep breath, as she told the tale of how the second tag race came to be.

"...You see, it was a long time ago. Darling and I had a...**fallout**, it had gotten so bad neither of us could trust the other, so I decided to give Darling one last chance to prove his feelings for me: a tag race..it wasn't just our relationship at stake, but also the fate of Earth was in the gamble too."

_Earth as well? _"But why a tag race?" Ken suddenly asked.

"It's the game of the Oni, whenever we are faced with fateful times we use the tag race to make critical decisions." Lum explained

"But what do you mean the 'fate of Earth was at stake' too?"

"Around that time, Earth was nearly about to be covered in darkness, and if Darling won, I'd have gotten a friend to rid Earth of that plague...though I had asked him to do it anyways, for me, I only wanted to hear Darling say that he loved me back then..."

Ken nodded in understanding though it was a vague explanation, the gist of it was clear to him.

"As I was saying..." Lum continued. "I challenged Darling to a tag race, knowing full well he didn't stand a chance at trying to catch me..." Ken wondered why but instead of voicing the question he sat quietly and listened as Lum continued. "...Darling had ten days to tag my horns, or else a device that would make everyone forget about us would be activated and I would leave forever. Each and everyday Darling would chase after me trying to tag me, but he just wouldn't say those words..."

"Maybe he was afraid you'd thought he was lying?" The young fighter reasoned

"...Even if it was a lie, I'd still would have accepted it..." Lum confessed

"Yeah...but I wonder if Mr. M would've accepted it himself?" Ken wondered.

Lum blinked, even after many years, she hadn't truly understood the reasons behind her husbands actions, not many did as everybody figured it was just Moroboshi's stubborness/stupidity, and even Lum herself, all she knew was that he loved her [even if the idiot refused to say the words] and for her that was enough...but something about what this boy just said held a ring of truth. Somehow Lum started to understand that if she wanted to know what truly went through Ataru's head that day...

...maybe this boy could reveal it to her. She knew she shouldn't have, but she still asked away.

"W-what do you mean?" Lum eagerly asked

Ken for his part sat in meditation as he answered. "Well, Mr. M wasn't just pressured to tag you for his sake alone, right? the whole planet was in the line. I guess he didn't want you thinking he only said that he loved you just to save Earth...but that's just my theory, anyways."

"But I'd still accept it! Even if it was a lie! But then why didn'd Darling just say it! ?" Lum nearly yelled the question

Ken flinched. "WHOA, how am I supposed to know! ?" Lum blinked and apologized as Ken sat back in place. Airi so far had watched the exchange in silence, but suddenly spoke up with a critical question.

"Big bro...if you were in daddy's shoes, why do you think he would have done it?"

Lum looked up to her youngest daughter, then she turned to the wayward youth who pondered the question. As Ken considered he then realized something...

"If it was me...even if a lie was good enough, I guess I'd never live with myself if I went and did that...I'd try to find another way to prove my feelings for a girl...besides..."

As Ken started saying this he clutched the charm that hanged around his neck. "Actions speak louder than words." Ken said, a hint of melancholy to his voice.

Lum had already known this, she knew that the moment she saw that Ataru had kept her horns, she realized his true feelings for her. She sighed, though there was some concern as the boy now seemed to look downcast himself. She wondered, could that charm be a memento of a lost love?

"Eh? Ah, sorry sorry! Please go on, my mind was...elsewhere..." The boy quickly waved off. Lum decided not to pry and just sighed as she continued to remember that fateful day.

"...You know? It's just as you said, Darling proved how he felt about me through actions, not words and in the end, for me that was enough." Lum contentedly smiled.

"That day I made Darling a promise...**even if it took a lifetime, I'd get him to say that he loves me..." **Lum said, Ken merely smiled, suddenly Airi propped herself on top of Ken's head. "What did Daddy say?" she asked

Lum smiled. "**Darling...he said he'd only say it on his deathbed..."**

Silence...after Lum said those words neither Airi or Ken said a thing, Airi's eyes where wide like dinner plates but Ken's expression was unreadable. Lum had told this story before, and of course the common reaction was confusion and indignant rage, shouts of 'That IDIOT' of 'that MORON' were the common responses. It seemed Airi was about to voice her own indignant rage when-

"...hehe..."

Ken suddenly burst into laughter.

"KAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, **KON, BRILLIANT!"**

It was now Lum's turn to be confused, as well as Airi as both Oni women looked at the boy confused. No one, **absolutely no one**, had taken this reaction before. Ken of course noticed this, and gave an amicable smile.

"Figures that guy would pull something like this..." Ken explained "...I think now I understand why he hasn't told you that he loves you..." Lum eagerly sat waiting for the explanation, she hoped for something truly enlightening, and she was not disappointed.

"For starters, I'm guessing that was his weird way of asking you to **be with him for his entire life**, *kon!*" The boy reasoned, but this much was obvious to Lum, but Ken hadn't finished. "...And..."

**"...the time he picked to say those words...is the one time in the universe he would never be able to take it back."**

Lum's eyes widened as she heard this, she always knew there must've been another reason behind that stubborn promise, but never would she have guessed this was it. Airi sat cross-legged on top of the boy as she nodded in agreement.

"I knew it all along." Airi claimed

"Heheh...Liar...you looked ready to grill your old man." Ken accused, Airi crawled over to look at Ken in the face and gave big, innocent puppy dog eyes. "You think I'm a liar, Big Bro?"

Ken chuckled, as he ruffled the Oni girl's hair. "Hahaha, enough already, turn off the water works, ok? hahaha" Airi smiled brightly in an instant

_T-too fast, that change of moods! _Ken thought_  
_

Suddenly Lum leaned towards the boy and gave a kiss on his forehead, Ken blinked in surprise as he turned towards Lum. Lum merely smiled.

"Thank you..." Lum said

Ken blushed,a very bright red. "F-for what?" He asked embarrassed all of the sudden.

"For being such a wonderful young man." was all Lum answered. "Hey wanna hear when Darling caught the Torajima SSX flu?[3]"

Ken smiled, yeah maybe this story would be interesting...

* * *

He [and his seemingly attached companion] made their way over to Lum and Ataru's table, as both glared and argued with their daughter.

"Yo, everything all right?" The pony-tailed one asked.

Lum eagerly smiled at the boy. "AH! Ken-chan you look very handsome in that suit!" Lum praised, earning the martial artist a deep blush, Lum then turned to Emi. "...don'tcha think Emi?"

Emi also blushed, put on the spot all of a sudden she side-glanced Ken and stuttered a response. "Ah? Err...yeah...he does."

"What's the matter, Big Sis? You're blushing like a little schoolgirl." Airi teased, only earning a contained glare from her older sister

_You little brat! Just cause Ken's watching_ _I can't do anything, but just you wait! ROWR!_

"Oe Lum!" Ataru yelled calling all to atention "You're a little too old to go flirting with boys your daughter's age!" he complained

Lum glared at her husband for a moment. "Oh? Then what's your excuse whenever 'tcha flirt with other, younger women, _Darling? _Besides I wasn't flirting, I was complimenting him!"

"Tch! Like I could believe that! Bih~!" Ataru sticks his tongue out at Lum, causing her to anger all the quicker.

"What was that! ? Don'tcha 'tch' me! ! !"

Emi wanted to crawl into a hole, her parents were at it again, and in front of the boy that she liked none the less! As if her little sister's teasing wasn't enough "Mom! Dad! Enough! Can'tcha stop fighting for five minutes?"

But her words fell on deaf ears, as both Atrau and Lum kept at it, Ken approached laughing it all off.

"Hahaha...relax, Emi, it's expected of one's parents to embarrass their kids."

"Exactly!" Ataru energetically agreed

"YOU BE QUIET!" But was quickly silenced by both his wife and daughter.

Airi shook her head and apologized to Ken. "Sorry you have to witness this, Big Bro" But Ken waved it off

Emi turned blushing to Ken. "E-even if you say that they're-"

Ken lifted a hand to re-assure her, in an amicable tone at first. "Emi seriously chill...your parents..."

"**...don't hold a candle against my own useless, worthless, good-for-nothing 'rents!"** Ken suddenly finished, with a stone cold seriousness, his eyes held a murderous glare, it didn't help that the kitsune-bi appeared and the area started darkening, it gave a haunted atmosphere to the table.

Ataru held on to Lum for dear life, it didn't help the martial artist was providing mood lighting with the will o' wisps around. Even Lum was unnerved "D-Darling? What is this-?"

"J-j-j-just ignore it Lum! It's a weird power that Ken has." Ataru whispered

"Ahm...but Ken surely your parents can't be as bad as mine...right?" Emi asked cautiously.

Ken's eye twitched, as he turned to both Lum and Ataru. "Well that depends...my mom once took me to Pamplona in Spain when I was 5..."

"Ah!" Ataru reacted as he remembered a bit of trivia from his own homeworld. "I bet it was to watch the bull runs, right?"

Ken merely grinned as he recalled. "Yeah, except I was told to participate-"

"W-what! ? But you were only 5 back then? You had to escape the bulls?" Ataru exclaimed, shocked

"Escape? Oh I wanted to..." Both parents looked at each other questioningly. "...however mom told me I had to...had to..." The boy cringed as he recalled the traumatic event

"...**I had to headbutt each and every bull and knock them out or else I was walking all the way home!" **Ken angrily finished. "I was only able knock out 7 of them before I was completely run over, *KON!* What kind of sadistic parent does that to a kid? *KON!* And don't get me started on the crap my stupid old man would pull on me!" Ken continued grumbling, most of it unintelligible with a few fox barks here and there but the Moroboshi's were able to make out **'thrown into a volcano in Hawaii'** and **'upstream swimming in the Niagara falls'**. Just what kind of insane training was this guy subjected to! ?

Ataru and Lum sweatdropped, Emi was in shock, but she turned to look at her parents. The look she gave them was the calculating sort. Ken stopped his rant as he noticed this and as he read Emi's expression...

"Oe *KON!* Don't tell me you're really comparing my folks to Lum and Mr. M! ?" Ken suddenly yelled, shocked

Both Ataru and Lum glared at their daughter as they heard that, awaiting her response.

"OK, I won't tell 'tcha"

All fell down, Ken managed to keep his head off the ground from the semi-inevitable face-plant, even though Airi was hanging on barely

"Hehehe...I suppose you can compare emotional humiliation to physical punishment...hehehe"

"My Big Sis is always like this..." Airi complained

Ken composed himself and pulled a chair to sit with the Moroboshi clan. Airi waved of to her dad.

"No more fighting all of ya, let's get along, okay?" The Oni girl giggled, Ataru waved over to his youngest daughter.

"Hey squirt! Kitsune treating you right?" Ataru asked

Airi giggled as the expected outburst came from Ken. "Not a kitsune, *kon!*"

"Darling!" Lum chided

"Daddy!" Emi scolded

"Gyahahaha!" Ataru laughed

"Grrrr!" Ken growled

Everything pointed that Ken fit in with the Moroboshi's quite nicely. The party continued on with an easygoing pace.

...

"Yo Mr. M!" Ken suddenly called. "Lemme take a sip o' that sake!" As he made a grab for the bottle, Ataru quickly grabbed both sake bottle and cup and dodged Ken's grab. "No" was all the answer Ataru gave

"Huh?" asked the confused teenager. "C'mon dude! Just a little sip!" Ken made another attempt but with lightning quick reflexes Ataru was able to dodge each and every time.

"You're a minor and there's no way in hell I'm letting you drink!"

Ken shot a flat glare at the older terran, then he smirked. "Y'know, in New Zealand, minors can drink under supervision." The boy commented.

"Oh, is that right?" Ataru answered, before he cackled in the boy's face. "Pity we're not in New Zealand then! Gyahahaha!" He taunted.

Ken growled once more and his hands blurred in many attempts to steal the drink off of the Moroboshi patriarch's hands, with no success. As this went on Emi saw one of the attendants bring a bottle of umezu, and licking her lips she made a grab for it only for her mother to snatch it away.

"Same goes for you, Emi!" Ataru yelled as he kept the sake out of reach from the martial artist keeping his foot planted on the boy's face. Lum nodded in agreement as she too kept a reasonable distance of her bottle from her rebellious daughter.

* * *

Both the delinquent fighter and the rebellious princess glared and pouted respectively at the cans of soda pop that sat in front of them, mocking them. Airi had jumped off of Ken's head some time ago and decided to play somewhere else. As Ken saw Ataru down another cupful of sake, he commented.

"Dude, I'm from Fushimi y'know? If there's anything we know about, it's sake![4] I could easily test if that sake is really any good." Ken suggested

Ataru merely cackled "Gyahahaha! It tastes good enough to me so no thanks." Ken snapped his fingers in frustration when the music in the hall started to play. Emi turned to look many couples taking to the ballroom and dancing and tugged on Ken's arm.

"Hey Ken, let's let these two old fogies get drunk and dance a little, okay?" Emi cheerfully suggested.

Ataru and Lum both stood up, offended. "F-fogies! ?"

Ken smiled."*kon* Hope you can keep up with my pace, princess!" As he did a seated kip up and walked with Emi arm in arm to the ball room, Ataru and Lum growling as they left.

"D-Darling!"

"Yeah, Lum. Let's teach these two smart-asses how to **really** dance!" Ataru already knowing what Lum was about to say agreed.

Lum nodded, she wouldn't lose to her daughter. "You betcha!"

* * *

**On the dancehall...**

Many couples were dancing to the rhythm of a slow waltz. Both teenagers walked in and looked on.

"C'mon c'mon let's dance!" Emi cheered, however her delinquent companion was reluctant

"Eh? This kinda slow dance? Don't ya think it's boring?" Ken complained

Emi held her gaze downcast. "I really wanted to dance with you Ken but if you don't want to..."

Ken sighed and took her hand. "All right, all right. Let's take it slow...for now."

Emi brightened up as she took en's hand, placing one on her waist and taking his other in her hand she decided to lead. As both smoothly danced, Emi was graceful as she could be, unknown to Ken, she kept aloft losing herself in the boy's eyes...just like in her dream, she couldn't be happier. Ken wasn't used to this slow kind of dance but he managed pretty well, noticing Emi was intently looking at him.

"Everything OK, Emi?" The fighter asked slightly concerned.

Emi closed her eyes and embraced the young man in front of her, leaning on his chest, and sighing happily.

No, there was no longer any doubt in her mind nor in her heart, her decision was all too clear. This was not a simple crush, nor was it a momentary fling, this was love, and she wouldn't let anything come in between them. "Everything's perfect...Sweetie" She said a deep blush crossing her face.

Ken smiled in turn. "Wait a sec. _Sweetie?_" he asked. The song had ended and in that moment...

"Hold it right there you!" A voice called from the other side of the room. All guests stopped cold, meanwhile Emi froze in shock and in a low voice started chanting as she closed her eyes.

"_Please don't let it be Remy-__Please don't let it be Remy-__Please don't let it be Remy-__Please don't let it be Remy-_"

Ken turned to see who interrupted the party only to find.

A very angry and bruised Oni, one Ken was certain he had never met before...though he could swear he was familiar from somewhere. The Oni was using a dirtied and torn tiger stripe jumpsuit with a black t shirt underneath. His face was bloodied and enraged at the youth, on top of his head, there was just a single horn surrounded by green hair.

"AH! Cousin Ten! ? What'cha doin' here! ?" Emi asked, partially relieved that it wasn't her ex-boyfriend.

But Ten was ignoring her, he was focused on the bastard that had stolen his precious mech patroller. "I finally caught up with you, you bastard! I'm gonna pay you back for what you did to me!" He pointed accusingly to Ken

Who in turn, merely scratched his head. "...Dude...do I know ya?"

"**DON'T F**K WITH ME!** No way will I forget how you stole my precious patroller mech!" Ten raged!

But for the life of him, Ken was still drawing blanks, this guy looked familiar but..."EH! You stole Ten-san's mech! ?" Emi gasped, but Ken shrugged. "I...don't really remember anything like that." He then turned to the Oni patroller. "Dude, you sure you got the right guy?"

"Don't you 'dude' me, you moron! I'm gonna pay you back, in spades!" As Ten inhaled, ready to let loose a volley of flames he was suddenly struck upside the head, the feel was of an all-too-familiar object. Ten turned to see Ataru, arm in arm with his cousin, Lum, and in Ataru's free hand, that thrice-damned frying pan.

"Ten-chan!" Lum called surprised

"**JARITEN!** What the hell were you about to do?" Ataru forcefully scolded.

"Don't call me 'Jariten', moron! And don't butt in! This is between that bastard and me!" Jariten-umm I mean Ten roared. In a fluid movement he turned towards Ken and let loose his fire breath

"F-fire breath! ? Are you kidding me! ?" Ken managed to blurt all too shocked, but it was time for his skills to shine._ I guess Oni's have different powers in between themselves...but this is no different than dealing with fire-based ki  
_

With a downwards vertical chop he managed to disperse the attack, all the while fire envelopped his hand. Ten smiled evilly.

"Oe Moron, your hand's on fire..."

But Ken smirked as he brought the burning hand, the flames were white! _Fire based ki-attacks can be frightening, but the don't stand a chance against me!_

"Yeah, it's on fire, just like I am! Your wimpy little flame won't burn me out!"

"W-wimpy! ? Why you little-!" Ten inhaled ready to let loose another volley of flames, behind Ken Emi was ready to let loose some heavenly retribution, just like her mom behind Ten. But Ken dashed just as Ten was about to the flames erupted from the Oni's mouth Ken sidestepped and managed to flank the fire breather, before the older Oni could react Ken a roundhose kick to Ten's face, making him stumble but quickly recovering for another volley of flames. Ken unleashed an uppercut making his flames spit upwards, as well as Ataru landed another blow upside Ten's head with the frying pan.

"Oww...Why are you helping this idiot, Ataru you moron! ?" Ten complained, but then he heard something sparkling nearby, he turned to see his cousin Lum, sparking up with electricity.

"Ten-chan...what exactly are 'tcha doing, calling Darling a moron and trying to fry Ken-chan! ?" Lum managed to growl out

"K-k-k-Ken-chan?" Ten stuttered

"Be good and don't bother our guests today!" Lum ordered forcefully

"B-b-but Lum-chan-!" Ten whined

"No buts! You're not a kid anymore, so act your age!" Lum would have none of it, sure she spoiled him when he was a toddler, but Ten's rotten attitude would even get to her at times. It was then she considered that perhaps her Darling had been on to something all those times he called Ten a brat.

Ten looked dejected, but he would never try and purposely anger Lum, and for good reason. "Sorry, Lum-chan, I'll be good..."

"Gyahahahahahahaha! Serves you right you brat!" Ataru taunted only getting Ten's glares. _I'll get back at you, at both you idiots._

* * *

As everything had gone back to control, the party carried on.

Ken, returned to Emi, who was beaming at the boy. "That was amazing, Ken!" She praised her eyes practically shimmering with adoration, her inner kung-fu maniac was squee-ing in joy.

"Not bad for someone outta practice, eh?" The fighter commented. As he took the princess's hand and they resumed dancing

The party continued without anymore incidents, the guests danced at the tune of the music or they chatted and ate. Benten was busy having a drinking contest with Mr. Invader, a very close battle for the two. Oyuki entertained some of the guests by using her powers to create many beautiful ice sculptures. Ran fed her husband from the huge selection of food they were serving, Rei, in his tiger-cow form no less, all too eager to eat as much as he could. Remy growled as he looked on to the dance hall. In the dance hall, many guests were enjoying the music and dancing in tune. Ataru and Lum were showing off their best moves, refusing to lose to their daughter and her trickster companion. Ken and Emi moved with more fluidity and elegance, though both couples were earning quite a lot of praise, no one could truly pick a winner out of both of them. Ken twirled Emi smoothly, and the princess moved with grace almost as she didn't touch the dance floor, the younger couple held smoother and bolder moves. Ataru and Lum decided to up their own game, both Oni empress and unlucky letch tried to match their coordination with the younger duo.

"C'mon Darling, we can't lose yet!" Lum said, having forgotten her daughter's slight and just enjoying her husband's company.

"They're a million years too early to match us, Lum!" Ataru who honestly was having fun as well agreed.

Both teenagers noticed they were no longer competing.

"Eh, they look like they're having fun, right?" Emi commented.

Ken nodded. "They might quarrel and argue but in the end they love each other." Ken commented

As he said this he didn't notice Emi's intent stare, she smiled as she looked on to the terran boy dancing with her, her eyes looked on to the boy's charm. A simple magatama[5] charm, that hung around Ken's neck, it looked old and worn.

"_A blue magatama_..." Emi identified the amulet.

"Eh?" Ken asked confused at first until he noticed Emi staring at his chest. "Oh! You mean this?" He said taking up the amulet in hand. "It's an old keepsake, it's an amulet to-"

"-bring good luck and ward off evil, right?" Emi cut off.

Ken blinked, surprised for a moment, then smiled. "Yeah, a girl gave me this when I was six and still living in Kyoto..." The boy reminisced.

Ken sighed as he looked at the amulet. "This is the only thing I've got to remember that girl...even though I can't remember her face or her name anymore..." The boy sadly said. "She was my first love..."

Emi looked at the amulet intensely. "...I see..." But quickly beamed a smile towards Ken. "...I'm sure she still remembers you."

Ken could only smile at that. Soon the music stopped as the guests decided to continue the festivities, Emi and Ken noticed Ataru and Lum approaching.

"Well, how'd ya like the taste of defeat, Kitsune?" Ataru taunted, while Lum tugged on his arm.

"Darling, stop teasing Ken-san!" She then brightly turned to the pair. "You two look to get along perfectly!" Lum said

Earning a blush to both Ken and Emi, the boy rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment. An attendant approached the group and bowed respectfully. "Moroboshi-sama, we're ready to begin with the final event of the evening. You may take your place at the main stage whenever you wish." The servant announced and with another bow, he made his leave.

"Oh! Already? All right then better get there quick." Ataru said "Lum, you Emi and the Kitsune-" "_Not-a-kitsune!"_ "- wait up by our table." Lum nodded as Emi followed, once the Oni women were far enough and before Ataru could make his way to the stage Ken stopped him.

"Hey, Moroboshi... there's something we need to discuss." The boy said.

Ataru sighed, he knew this would be about the bargain he had made to save his daughter, he expected that Emi would've done something by now but it didn't look like history would repeat itself.

"Yeah yeah, I know...look after the party I'll order for all the planet's beautiful women to-"

"Don't bother." Ken cut him off

"Huh?" Ataru was slightly surprised. "What? You changed your mind? You're not gonna pick your bride anymore?"

"No" Ken smirked. "**I already made my decision**" The boy confidently said. "...just gonna need your help to smooth things over." Ataru looked over at the boy confused, until realization dawned on him

"O-oe! Don't tell me you plan to-?" Ataru started stuttering.

His only answer was Ken's smug grin, as he dropped a hand on the older human's shoulder.

"Let's try to get along...**Dad**." Ken said, a grin plastered over his face, and shortly after the fighter walked away leaving a shellshocked Ataru.

Ataru stood there, as if struck by lightning...no, even worse than Lum's worst zaps. This guy...this guy...

**...he really was an idiot!**

Ataru stood there speechless. The same servant who had arrived a short while ago returned and bowing politely. "Moroboshi-sama, we are waiting for you at the stage..."

"..."

"Moroboshi-sama...?"

* * *

Meanwhile as Ken approached the Moroboshi Oni women, he noticed some hurried chatter.

"_A-are you sure about this, Emi?_" Lum asked her daughter, an expectant look on her face.

While Emi had a serious expression on hers. "_Mom, I've never been more sure of anything in my entire life!_"

"_Emi..._" Lum said as she looked at her daughter, and quickly hugged her tightly. "_I'm so happy for 'tcha!_" Lum said, giggling like a schoolgirl.

Emi beamed at her mother as she hugged back. "_Thanks mom!_"

Emi separated from the hug and whispered something in Lum's ear. "_I'll make my announcement after dad's. Wish me luck!"_

As Ken was about to call Emi he was suddenly grabbed by someone and pulled over outside the hall, just as Emi was flying towards the stage.

* * *

"Oe! Who the hell-! ?" Ken turned to whoever pulled him out of the room, as luck would have it, it was...

"Oh, Burger-boy, long time no see." Ken greeted

"**Shut up!** And my name's not 'Burger-boy', it's Remy!" The handsome Oni roared.

"Geez, what's your problem?" the earthling asked

But in a blink, Remy unsheathed a raygun and trained it at Ken. The terran martial artist blinked in surprise a couple of times.

"You have been getting a little too close and familiar to my Emi." the Oni growled out as he kept the gun aimed to the fighter's head.

"Excuse me? 'Your' Emi? Last time I checked she dumped your sorry ass." Ken taunted

"Hmph! You're very bold to joke around when someone has a raygun aimed at your face. What could my beautiful princess see in a good-for-nothing, idiotic delinquent like you?" Remy roared once more.

Ken grinned. "Well, for one, I don't 'moo'."

Remy's eye twitched, and with an angry roared he fired. "That's it! Just die, Kitsune!"

"Too slow!" Ken sidestepped and dodged, reading all of the Oni's movements, predicting where he was going to fire. In a flash Ken was in point-blank to Remy and with a swift kick managed to disarm the Oni. But as the boy was about to follow up with another kick...

"Don't underestimate us Oni!"

His kick was caught easily by Remy who grabbing onto his leg managed to throw the martial artist into the air. Once airborne, Ken twisted to regain balance and land on his feet.

"Ho? You're not just some wimpy pretty-boy, eh?"

"Perhaps I shall teach you the true power of the Ushitora clan!" Remy roared as his body started metamorphosizing, turning into his gigantic tiger-cow form.

"**BUMOOO!"**

"Hmm, yeah that's right, I forgot you could transform into...that." Ken cracked his knuckles and took position, nine ethereal flames hovering around the youth appeared. "I don't really remember our last fight, but don't expect me to go easy on you!"

The tiger-cow charged at the youth at full-speed, Ken smirked, this was gonna be an interesting fight...

* * *

**Meanwhile...**

Ataru took the stage in the grand hall. As he signalled for the guests to stop chattering.

"*mumble* *chatter* *mumble* *whisper*"

"...Ahem...Ladies and gentlemen..."

"*hahaha* *chatter* *whisper*"

"...AHEM!...Ladies and gentlemen..."

"*Hey did you know...?* *chatter* *chatter* *hush*"

**"SHADDUP ALREADY!"** Ataru yelled causing the entire audience to fall over from shock.

As everyone recovered, Ataru cleared his throat once more, as he addressed the audience. "Ladies, gentlemen, alien creatures of all shapes and sizes *chuckle*...ok ok, I know I'm actually the alien around here but still..."

"I Warlord of the Oni, Ataru Moroboshi thank you all for coming here today on this very special day, for a very special lady. My beautiful wife, the mother of my children, the one and only Lum Moroboshi."

Ataru turned over to Lum who shyly turned away, blushing in embarrassment, but with a smile nonetheless. She recalled how long she dreamed of being 'Mrs. Moroboshi' and finally marrying Ataru, and now their own daughter... Lum was brought back to reality as she heard the rest of her husband's speech...

"I remember as it was only yesterday, Lum...you forced yourself into my life and I'll be frank, back then, I thought **my life was ruined...**"

Lum's smile strained as she sparked, seems her husband wanted a dose of shock therapy. _Darling! You're asking for it!_

"...but soon I found I couldn't think of life without her..."

Lum smiled once again, looking at her husband fondly..._Ah well, then again he wouldn't be my Darling if he didn't do this once in a while  
_

"...as much as a masochistic thought that was. Gyahahahaha!"

_How many volts should he get this time! ? 100 000? 200 000! ?  
_

Lum sparked ominously, a clear sign for Ataru that he should change subject and fast!

"Ahehehe...Ahem...well, all in all, Lum's a wonderful woman...And...I'm truly glad she's with me"

Lum clamed down as her face flushed once more. "Darling..."

It was then that Ataru lifted a glass. "Here's to you Lum, Happy birthday..."

"...may you have many more, Kampai!"

_**"KAMPAI!" **_The crowd cheered. Lum blinked and in the end she sighed and smiled. Well, life would be boring if her Darling did things conventionally. A tug on her dress from her side made Lum turn towards Emi, who was completely distraught.

"Mom, I don't see Ken" Emi said slightly nervous

Lum looked around, it was true, it seemed Ken had vanished. Just then a disgruntled and bandaged Ten approached the table.

"_*mumble* Stinking no-good, idiot! Why is he getting such a good treatment? Jerk...no different than...*grumble*_" Ten growled

"Ten? Could you go look for Ken?" Lum interrupted the single horned Oni.

"Eh? Who?"

"The boy you were picking a fight earlier." Lum dead-panned.

"Wha- WHY DO I HAVE TO GO LOOK FOR THA MOR-" Ten yelled just as

"***Growl!***" Lum warned Ten with a fearsome growl.

"*gulp* R-r-r-right away, Lum-chan!" Ten flew off at high speed looking all over the palace. All while Ataru kept giving his speech. Emi just couldn't help but have a bad feeling about this whole situation.

"Sweetie..."

* * *

**Outside the Palace...**

Ken was slammed to a wall of the palace, his breathing ragged, and his suit torn and messy. Only three will o' wisps hovered around the youth, on the other side was Remy in his cow form, somewhat bruised and tired, but still in way better condition than the fighter.

**"***huff* *huff* Crap...gotta hand it to ya *huff*...you pack one mean whallop...*huff* Burger-boy..."

Remy stood on his hind legs and gave a very cow-like cakle

"Bu-hihihihihi!"

Ken pushed himself off the wall, and stood his ground once more. His eyes shinning once again with conviction.

"Heh heh...no other way around it...gotta get back to training...**after I kick your ass!**"Ken yelled.

Ken charged at Remy his fists enveloped in white flame, as Remy charged at full speed aiming to ram the fighter down. A clash of fearsome warriors was about to take place.

To be continued...

* * *

[1]**The Oil Rain Incident: **One of the very first storylines and episodes in UY, Lum references to how all the oil of the Earth was taken to pay for a taxi cab fare Ataru and the gang of four unwittingly took. Afterwards the oil was returned in rain form after Lum paid for the fare, [this is as far as cannon goes] she explains that because of this Japan decided to keep everything about the Oni under wraps, even if the news broadcast had fingered Ataru as the culprit. If you consider what consequences an oil rain could entail, it makes sense for the government to take this approach, since they can't really do anything to Lum given her status as a princess and to prevent any incidents with the Oni. Thus she explains as to how no one outside of Tomobiki would be privy to any information about the aliens, and only those old enough to have lived in the Showa era and be Tomobiki natives would properly remember.

[2] **Showa Era/Heisei Era: **The Showa era comprises from 1926 to 1989, while the Heisei era continues on from 1989 to the present. Ken mentions this as he hears about the actions that take place during Urusei Yatsura, circa 1985, while Ken labels himself as a 'Heisei kid' because he was born after that era, Heisei meaning the modern, current era in that regard. He basically explains how he never heard about this on any history books or any news about them.

[3]**Torajima SSX Space Flu:** The name of the illness that affected Lum in one of the original Urusei Yatsura episodes/manga chapters, the side-effects on humans were pink and green stripes covering the body, as evidenced when all the boys in class 2-4 shared Lum's mask, and on Ataru who had an imprint of Lum's hand on his face. Because Ten gave them the wrong medicine, the stripes would spread to the rest of the skin instead of just the affected area**  
**

[4] It's true, Fushimi is well known for it's sake brewing spots. Though Ken as a delinquent is more interested in getting drunk, not unlike some tales of kitsune in folklore.

[5]**Magatama:** a good fortune talisman, connected with the Shinto religion. From early on it symbolized "avoidance of evil" and "magic of good fortune". In modern Japan, the magatama's shape of a sphere with a flowing tail is a common visual representation of the human spirit or hitodama according to wikipedia.


	16. ESCAPE!

Chapter 16 -**_ "ESCAPE!"_**

All original cast and characters of Urusei Yatsura belong to Rumiko Takahashi. I own only the OCs

Enjoy if you will

* * *

_Fear is a feeling stronger than love._

-Pliny the Younger

* * *

Ken was measuring up his latest opponent, Remy Ushitora, of the Tiger-Ox Oni clan, who had transformed into an enormous tiger-cow. This would be the first time the Kansai fighter would fight an Oni, one-on one [the battle with the flame-thrower guy _did not_ count! Nor did any of the fights under 'the influence']

As it was both fighters were slowly circling each other, Remy growling constantly and glaring with murderous eyes. Ken analyzed mentally his situation and how he was in less of an optimal situation.

_Hrrm...My ki is back up to full power, but this guy could hardly have picked a worse time to fight me. **I barely just recovered**, I'm in no conditions to get into another serious fight..._

In an instant Remy charged with a mighty moo "**BUMOOO!"** and swiped at the fighter, missing as Ken jumped back, keeping his distance. Remy charged again and again at the fighter but Ken was not to let himself get caught, until Remy switched tactics and instead jumped! Hoping to flatten the pony-tailed boy, Ken was barely able to dodge jumping out of the way as Remy slammed on the floor. It seemed the fighter had escaped the worst of it but was slammed by Remy's tail and sent flying quite a distance, fortunately he was able to recover in mid-air and make a soft landing, leaving Ken with his back against the wall... literally.

_...To make matters worse, my opponent right now is neither **humanoid** nor **vulpine**, so he's out of my area of expertise. Fighting an opponent like this makes everything trickier, different skeletal structure makes it a pain to locate the proper joints and gauge the balance center...at least those shark pirates were mostly human-like...this guy right now however...  
_

Remy attempted another charge in hopes to tackle the boy, but Ken saw through it easily and jumped in the air, making the Oni crash with a wall. The wall crumbled shortly after and Remy emerged, unscathed. Not for long as Ken descended with an axe kick on the Oni's head, ending in a stomp as Ken. Remy was stunned momentarily, giving the delinquent fighter enough time to rain down a barrage of punches on top of the Oni, before Remy forcefully shook him off, hardly any worse for wear.

_...Even so...he's clearly a power type in this form...all brawn no brain...the ferociousness of a tiger, with all the brilliance of a moo-cow...Now that I think about it..._

"TIME OUT!" Ken yelled as he landed, just in time as Remy charged at the boy again. The moment the Tiger-ox Oni heard Ken yell, he screeched to halt, mere inches away from Ken and glared at the fighter seriously.

"**BUHIII!"** Remy complained, indignantly.

"Ahh, Shaddup you! I got an important question." Ken berated, slapping the Tiger-cow's nose to make him settle down.

As Remy rubbed his nose he looked at the terran curiously. **"Buhi?"**

"Yeah, listen: Emi can't transform like you do, can she?"

Remy shook his head in a negatory. "**Bu-No"** He mooed

Ken gave a sigh of relief. "Ahh~ Thank goodness~!" He said, and with a smile: "Ok carry o-OOF!"

The terran fighter was suddenly slapped by Remy's enormous paw and sent careening for a wall, crashing and making a crater in the structure. Ken managed to peel himself off of the wall, as he unsteadily examined his opponent, leaning on the wall for support.

_F$%king Hell, that hurt! Urgh! Man...I saw it coming and everything but my body was too slow to react...guess that's what happens when all you do is play video games, girl hunt, and beat up wimpy little punks for over six months instead of training...Agh! He's even tougher than the huge robot back in the pirate ship!...Burger-boy's defense is insanely strong and his attacks don't fall behind, another one of those slaps and I'm done for..._

Only three will o' wisps hovered around the youth, on the other side was Remy in his cow form, somewhat bruised and tired, but still in way better condition than the fighter. But unknown to Remy was that the remaining foxfire had disappeared as Ken readied an attack.

**"***huff* *huff* Crap...gotta hand it to ya *huff*...you pack one mean wallop...*huff* Burger-boy..."

Remy stood on his hind legs and gave a very cow-like cackle

"**Bu-hihihihihi!**"

Ken pushed himself off the wall, and stood his ground once more. His eyes shinning once again with conviction.

_Enough screwing around, I gotta finish this quickly!...Huh! ? _A flash passed through Ken's eyes all too sudden, it was hazy as if it had come from a dream..._  
_

* * *

_...it was then that Remy charged at him and transformed, becoming an enormous tiger-ox and pinning the pony-tailed fighter to the floor, knocking both weapons off his arms in the process._

"**BUMOOOOO!**" The beast bellowed…

..."Buki?" Came Remy's confused moo, as Ken started lifting him with his legs and with a powerful kick sent the huge tiger-ox flying towards the opposite wall, leaving a Tiger-ox sized hole in the opposite wall. Ken jumped back on his feet and cracked his knuckles...

* * *

_That's it! Man, I should've seen it sooner...still...where did that come from?  
_

"Heh heh...no other way around it...gotta get back to training...**after I kick your ass!**"Ken yelled.

Ken charged at Remy his fists enveloped in white flame, as Remy charged at full speed aiming to ram the fighter down. As both neared each other Ken suddenly jumped, unfortunately Remy jumped as well aiming to tackle the boy in the air.

_This is the end, Kitsune! _Remy triumphantly thought...which translated into: "**BUMOOO!"**

Pity he did not see Ken's grin.

Just as both tiger-cow and fighter were about to collide, Ken reached out and using Remy's head as a stepping stone, he impulsed himself over the tiger-cow. Using it as leverage, Ken pulled himself right behind Remy. The Oni noticed that now he was in a collision course with the palace wall!

**"BUMOOOOOOO!"** Remy cried.

"And just in case...!" Ken said making the Oni look back. He regretted doing that instantly.

Ken was poised to attack, his fist covered in white fire, and behind him were six ethereal flames lined up in a straight line with Ken's fist. _No need to match this guy's strength, just gotta use it against him! Last time I only pushed him off a me towards the wall...I think at least...stupid juice_

"Have a nice trip~! **_Nagareboshi taihou!_** [1]" In an instant the furthest kitsune-bi shot forward and collided with the next foxfire in alignment, and with the next one and the next one and...as it grew in size with each collision till it reached Ken's arm, already pulled back for the punch and instantly it shot forward just as the enormous blaze connected with the attacking limb.

***KAPOW!***

The punch impacted with the added force of the foxfire, delivering a devastating blow on Remy's jaw and launching him even faster towards the wall. As Ken was falling, he immediately realized he made a mistake

"...Uh oh."

* * *

**Meanwhile, inside the palace...**

Ten was currently looking all over the palace for the wayward fighter, hoping to incinerate the bastard if he got the chance, but decided against it, Lum didn't forgive anymore of his mishaps, and her punishment was just as scary as always. Given that it took him over a day and a half to make it back to the Oni capital, Ten was less than aware of everything that took place on his absence, he specially didn't know why this moron got preferential treatment...or why he had a really bad vibe about him.

_Dammit...what happened while I was out?_

"Ken~! Where are ya, you moron~? Come out come out wherever you are~!" Ten said...quite unenthusiastically. Ten had been looking for quite some time now having scoured every inch of the room. Ten's search had brought him to an unassuming wall and just as Ataru's speech was nearing it's end, so did the fire-breathing Oni's patience did.

Nu hovered nearby and managed to encounter Ten.

"Ah, Lord Ten, is everything all right?" The robotic butler asked

To which he got Ten's enraged expression. **No**, everything is NOT all right! I'm stuck looking for that insufferable moron!" Ten roared.

Nu gave a nervous chuckle as Ten's mouth was smoking with contained fury. "*ahem* In Master Ken's defense, when he assaulted you a few days back he wasn't completely...sober would be the word, I'd like to use."

"I don't care, I still wanna pay that idiot back! Argh! Dammit! I'm sick of looking! Ken, you bastard, at least give a sign you're alive or something! ! !" Ten yelled_. _Suddenly the wall besides Ten exploded as Remy collapsed through the other side, unconscious, burying Ten in heaps off rubble. Nu managed to dodge the impact, remaining unscathed

"AH! Lord Ten!" Nu exclaimed, as the robotic feline turned to survey the damage.

"N-not like this, you idiot..." Ten managed to groan out from underneath the wall as he collapsed, knocked out.

Everybody could only stare at the scene, Emi and Lum both floated and landed nearby as they surveyed the damage.

It was then Ken poked his head into the room.

"Eh heh heh..." Ken meekly laughed. "Sorry 'bout the wall."

"**Sweetie!"** Emi beamed as she bounced in one bound on top of Remy's head to meet with the object of her affections. "I'm so glad you're OK, you had me worried back there. What happened?"

"Eh, not much ... Remy picked a fight with me, got his ass handed back to him, business as usual." Ken said as if it was the most normal thing in world. "Hey, and what's up with this 'Sweetie' business anyway?"

"Nevermind that, we need to get going!" Emi excitedly chattered

"Going? Where to?" Ken asked confused.

"I'm gonna make a big announcement, and answer your proposal!" Emi beamed excitedly, turning to her personal assistant Nu she said: "I leave Remy and Ten-chan up to you, Nu."

"Of course, Princess Moroboshi." Nu bowed.

Ken of course, was at a loss, he was as confused as could be.

_Proposal? **What** proposal? Did someone slip some juice on me again! ?_

Before he could react he was literally pulled as Emi bounded over to the stage in a single leap, just as Ataru finished his speech.

"Oe Emi, everything ok?" Ataru asked as Emi landed right beside him on stage, with a very bewildered Ken.

"You betcha! Just need to make a little announcement, Daddy." Emi said sweetly

Ataru turned to look at her, recognizing that expression on her face, and smiling to himself.

_So...Emi wants to make this a big announcement, eh? Gyahahaha, figures she's her father's daughter after all..._

"Very well, Emi..." Ataru said, he then turned to the stand."Ladies and gentlemen...my daughter, Emi would like to make an important announcement." As he finished Ataru passed the mike to Emi all the while Ken still didn't get what was going on.

"Thanks, Daddy." Emi said, releasing Ken's hand and giving a heartfelt hug to her father, sure they bickered and argued on most things, but she knew her dad only wanted her to be happy.

"Anybody care to explain what is going on?" Ken, finally irritated, asked.

Emi released her father from the hug and beamed an eager smile towards the trickster fighter who had stolen her heart. "All right..."

* * *

Ataru on the meanwhile made his way back to his seat, right beside Lum as she looked on with eager anticipation.

"Darling, did 'tcha know that Emi-" Lum started

"-Wants to marry that Kitsune? Yeah, I know..." Ataru finished her sentence before Lum had a chance. Blinking a couple of times in surprise, Lum then narrowed her eyes and gave her husband a critical glare.

"You aren't about 'tcha do something to ruin this, are 'tcha? Like pull that horrible Cherry-" Lum was about to accuse...

...but was cut off by Ataru once again. "Already tried, bastard got me with the same trick [more or less], so why bother fighting it?..." As he said this, the Oni warlord took another sip of his sake cup, leaving Lum both confused and surprised.

"Ah~...As a certain idiotic monk would say: 'tis fate..."

Lum could only stare, instantly, she grabbed the sake bottle her Darling had been drinking from and gave a few cautionary whiffs as she turned to look at her husband.

_What in the Milky Way did they put in this sake! ? _The Oni Queen thought, worrying for her Darling's mental health [or what was left of it]

* * *

Emi turned towards the audience and addressed the public. "Hi everyone~! I hope you're all doing fine today!" As she gave her speech, Ken was watching over by her side, restless.

Ken couldn't quite put his finger on it, but something was off, it was a nagging feeling...one he's been having for quite a while now. He turned to Emi as she continued to address the audience.

"I know today's mom's special day, but I have a very important announcement to make..."

Through shifty eyes, Ken was sensing something, he normally would ignore the ominous feeling, however...

"Kenichi..."

As Emi said his name, Ken turned to look at her.

"You are the bravest, strongest, most audacious and courageous man I have ever met...I have considered your proposal..." Emi said, earning a surprised look from Ken

_Again with this proposal...Somebody mind filling **me **in! ? _Ken thought, a particularly nervous feeling crawling up the back of his neck_  
_

Emi proceeded to continue, turning towards Ken. "Kenichi Aoki...about you proposal to marry me..." Emi left the phrase hanging earning surprised shocks and gasps from the audience, so much so that Remy instantly woke up in his humanoid form.

* * *

"W-w-w-what did she say! ?" Yelled Remy, and just as quickly was pushed back as Ten emerged from the rubble Remy was standing on. "M-m-marry ! ?" Ten gasped

* * *

But the one sporting the biggest surprise was the young man himself Ken.

_M-marriage proposal! ? **WHEN** did I propose! ? When ? _The fighter thought, too shocked or surprised to think rationally. But he then saw Emi's expression a warm expression, her eyes looking at him with a loving expression, Ken felt enraptured by her. Emi inhaled and she proudly declared:

"I **accept**, Sweetie!" As Emi finished, she made a leap to hug and kiss the bewildered young man. Things didn't go as the fighter had planned, but a smile crept back in his face, all the while he had the most beautiful girl he had met was in his hands... and on his lips for that matter

_This...is...perfect! Kahahaha! Though I wonder when did I propose, but who cares! ? The end result is what's important here! And I finally got what I wanted! ! !_

_...So why do I feel so uneasy? And this feeling...**why** is it so familiar?_

As Emi finally released Ken from her kiss, he gave her a confident smirk. "Ha ha ha, all right Emi, you have my word: **from now on, you'll be my wife!**"

Emi giggled even more as she clutched the boy in her arms, the Oni princess ecstatic with joy, the audience however...

* * *

**"W-W-WHAAAAT! ?"** Was the general response, from Remy, from Ten and even Nu who had been so busy making sure the party went without a hitch_._

* * *

From one of the tables, Mr. Invader and Benten had been drinking sake heartily as they heard this.

Hey Benten? You knew about this?" Invader asked, kind of surprised.

"Eh...In a way, I did..." Benten cryptically answered, as she continued downing another bottle of the rice liquor

* * *

**"LUM! YOU BITCH!"** Ran suddenly roared as she grabbed Lum from the neck of her dress and lifted her to eye level, a menacing glare in her eyes. Lum found herself quite afraid from her...*ahem* _"old"_ friend. "So my perfect little boy isn't good enough for your spoiled-rotten daughter, is that what yer telling me! ?"

Lum for her part laughed nervously as she defended herself. "T-this was Emi's decision, besides Emi broke up with Remy months ago! Why are 'tcha getting so angry now?"

"**NOT THE POINT! **Don't think I'm gonna forgive this! " Ran roared once more and enacted her revenge.

In a blinked she let go of Lum and moved to Ataru's side and started whispering in his ear. "Say say Darling? Did ya know? When Lum and I were kids, we had a sleepover once and she-!"

In a moment of terrifying understanding, Lum realized **what** Ran's revenge would be. "KYAA! R-Ran NO! **ANYTHING BUT THAT!"** Lum screamed as she lunged for her friend, breaking out in a scuffle, as Lum tried to muffle the incriminating [not to mention embarrassing] information the Gaki woman had.

" _Ret gwo, yu 'itch!_" Ran managed to croak out as Lum stretched her mouth open making her unintelligible.

"Only if you promise not to tell **that!" **Lum said, holding onto to Ran with a wrestling grapple.

Ataru blinked as he witnessed this, then decided to just keep drinking and enjoy the show. _Sometimes, the chaos was just inevitable_, he thought.

* * *

Emi looked back at her consort with loving eyes.

"Sweetie..." she said breathy...

...to which Ken, just smiled "Umm...Emi, can ya stop calling me 'Sweetie'? It's kinda embarrasing." He said.

To which Emi just smiled. "Don't wanna." As she clutched the boy even tighter, she sideglanced her newly engaged husband. "'Tcha know? For us Oni, marriage proposals are sacred. I'll dedicate my life to you from now on..."

"That a fact?" Ken amicably answered. Though the feeling of unease kept increasing constantly, this feeling was incredibly familiar...it was right around then he recognized it...

* * *

Ataru blinked in surprise upon hearing that phrase. "Huh, go fig...the same phrase even..."

* * *

...it was the feeling of impending danger...

...many martial artists honed their senses to be able to detect danger, on a near instinctual level, however Ken had been severely ignoring his training to be able to detect it, but even now that he recognized he was in danger...

...there was nothing, **nothing** he could do to avoid it...

"Uh huh" Emi continued as she kept her arms encircled around the boys arms in a hug, she then turned towards him and with a slight edge in her voice. "However...if 'tcha ever **cheat** on me..."

Before Ken had even a chance to react...

***ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP***

Ken was bombarded with hundreds of volts worth of electricity as Emi gave him one of the Raijin Oni's infamous electric shocks!

**"G-GYAAAAAAAAAAAAaaAAAARGH!"** The one called the 'Invincible Demon Fox', the one who had earned and stolen the title of 'Strongest Fighter in the World', the very same trickster fighter, who could find a way to defeat nearly any foe, was now twitching and writhing as lightning coursed through his body. Never had he felt anything quite as painful as this, not even the toughest opponents he had faced, not even the harshest of training regimes he had endured, not even his horrible luck dished out pain quite like this.

* * *

Ataru couldn't help himself, a part of him winced in sympathetic empathy [him being the foremost expert on the sort of pain electric shocks can deliver], but mostly he just pointed and laughed.

"**GYAHAHAHahahaHAHaHAHA!**" As Ataru cackled loudly, earning concerned glances from Lum and Ran in the process, he unashamedly said:

"For once: **I'M NOT GETTING ZAPPED!** GYAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Both Lum and Ran sweatdropped, as Ataru kept laughing at the unlucky Kitsune-boy.

* * *

As Emi finished zapping Ken, the boy slumped to his knees, crackling slightly, Emi floated over Ken as she saw him slowly raise his head to meet her gaze. Ken had a bewildered expression, his eye twitching slightly, mentally he was panicking...

_W...was that...e-e-**electric ki! ?** N-no way!_

_No fighter, I repeat, **no fighter**, has been able to generate anything outside the 5 elements! **Fire, water, wind, earth** even my own **void ki**[2]...but this is **INSANE! ! !**_

Then another scary thought crept up to Ken's mind...

_...! H-h-h-**HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DEFEND MYSELF AGAINST THAT! ?**_

In a millisecond, Ken wracked his brain trying to come up with an answer, and invariably_, _he discovered a horrible one...

_I...I...**I CANT! ! !**_

_There is **NO** defense against that! Not one!_

In the next millisecond Ken had come up with a conclusion:

_M-Maybe I can **outrun** her... m-mayb...!_

It was the Ken noticed Emi was hovering a few feet of the floor, looking at him from her aerial position.

"Sweetie? Are you okay?" She asked, somewhat concerned that maybe she shocked him a little too hard. Ken stared.

_"Y-...y-you're **flying?**_" Ken asked, a slight edge of panic in his voice

"Huh? 'Tcha didn't know?" Emi asked, somewhat surprised Ken hadn't noticed this up until now. "We Oni have different powers amongst ourselves, most can** fly**, some can **transform** like Remy or **breathe** fire like Ten-chan. I just happen t'cha be one of the fastest flyers in the planet... and my **zaps** are nothing to sneeze at either!" Emi proudly boasted.

_"He...hehe...hehehehe..." _Ken started laughing... in a slightly... unhinged manner

_She. Can. **FLY ! ? ! ?** Wait a second...back in the pirate ship...I know we had to cross about a mile to get to where Emi was trapped...And when I finally set her free the clock was down to about 2 minutes and a half so... then..._

Ken mentally added two plus two, earning the dreaded 'four' that would be the result of that equation:

_She can jet a distance of a mile...**in under 2 minutes! ? !**_

_T-this is bad...no matter how you look at it... and to make matters worse: **she's clearly the jealous type!**_

Ken had finally reached a conclusion, one he couldn't bring himself to say out loud:

_I'm not invincible..._

_**...SHE IS! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !**_

"I-I'm so screwed..." Ken managed to croak out, Emi hearing that gave a slight giggle. "*giggle* I can't wait for the honeymoon either~"

In an instant Ken stood back up, pushing Emi to a side, forcing her to float nearby. An unreadable expression on the fighter's face.

"Sweetie?" Emi asked

_"I-I gotta-go-to-the-bathroom!" _Ken said, and escaped as fast as his legs could carry him.

_I gotta get away! I gotta **ESCAPE!**_ _If I stay here...I'm a dead man!_

He made his way through the dance-hall, leaving a room full of bewildered spectators behind. Ataru walked over to where Benten was, the Fukujin was grumbling loudly.

"Razzle frazzle good-for-nuthin..."

"Ahem...Benten-sama~"

"I KNOW! I know!..." Benten reached into a pochet of her armor and pulled out a wad of bills.

"Shoulda known better than to bet against you..." Benten complained

* * *

Ken ran, all through the palace...all looking for a place to escape. His body in pain from the electric shock...but he pressed on.

Finally he stumbled into a place like a hangar, were he saw a slug-like alien with a taxicab leaning on a bus-like space ship, and then he heard the most beautiful words he ever listened to:

"Hey Mac, need a lift?"

* * *

That was right...I managed to hitch a cab back here, and stumbled all the way here...I panicked...I shoulda known better that to think that I was safe here...But how? How did she find me! ?**  
**

**Tomobiki High - School Grounds**

"The Oni girl's heading this way!" One of the students yelled. They all hushed and shushed one another as they started hearing the girl's voice, becoming clearer as she approached, it sounded like someone was calling for...

"Sweetie! Where are you?" The faint voice seemed to call. Usagi turned to Ken once more her fury rekindled for the...well, she lost count of how many times the trickster in front of her had pissed her off...today. "'Sweetie'?" She asked Ken, the fury of a scorned woman already evident in her voice.

But as all this occurred a thought crossed Megane's mind as he saw the Oni girl floating high up in the sky searching for someone...a horrible thought... a terrifying, dreadful thought... a terrifying, dreadful, **horrible** thought...That girl...she couldn't possibly be...? Could she! ?

Before Ken could answer Usagi's question, Megane stretched his hands to snatch the boy away, grabbing from the neck of his shirt he started asking a question on a level tone.

"Aoki, answer me this and I may let you live: **Who is that Oni girl flying up there! ?" **Came the frantic question from the social studies teacher as he shook the boy desperately. Ken blinked confused a couple of times.

"Huh! ? Whaddya mean 'and you may let me live'! ?" the boy angrily asked

"ANSWER ME, AOKI!" came the desperate plea

"OK OK, that girl is..." For Megane time seemed to slow down as he listened to the next words that came from Kenichi's mouth.

"...**Emi Moroboshi!"**

That was it, the final nail to the bespectacled man's crumbling sanity.

Moroboshi...a name that many had come to know and hate, but now even more so by the teacher's eyes. Moroboshi, the bastard finally did it, he had completely and utterly defiled his goddess. Megane hung to a small sliver of hope, that maybe one of these days Lum would finally have seen the light and abandoned that wretch. This, many had expected it, but Megane could never truly accept it, now there was no other choice, but who was to blame...Moroboshi?...No, not just Ataru...Lum too, her stubborn love for the letch...but there was someone else...someone who was the main criminal in this story...

**Aoki!** Yes...because of him, all this happened! The boy in his hands, had single-handedly destroyed those dreams, those hopes of a future with Lum, this wretched bastard had obliterated the peaceful, ignorant bliss he lived in. The moment this Kyotonite fox demon showed up...**IT WAS ALL HIS FAULT! **[or at least, that was what the teacher thought]

"...He..." Megane started. "...hehe...heheha...!"

"?" Ken for his part was starting to get worried. It seemed the teacher had finally snapped. Shaking out of the teacher's grip, Ken drop kicked the teacher into unconsciousness. "HAhahahAHAHAHaHA-URK!"

"Man, you're annoying!" The Kansai native exclaimed as Megane crumpled unconscious, an expression of shock frozen into his face. That took care of the teacher but now he needed to...

"**KENICHI!**" Usagi grabbed a hold of Ken's arm and pulled him towards her, Ken was now face to face with the angry blonde girl. "So **THAT'S EMI ! ? ! ?"**

"I can explain!" The boy pleaded.

* * *

Meanwhile the Oni girl was still hovering up in the sky, searching a small robot hovering around her.

"Sweetie! Where are you? Please, why did 'tcha run away so suddenly?" Emi honestly called.

Nu shook his head, somehow he doubted that would convince the princess's consort to reveal himself that easily. It was about then his scanners picked up something: the very same energy signature belonging to Ken.

"Moroboshi-hime, I've located Master Ken!" Nu excitedly cheered.

"Really! ? Where?" Emi looked back to her personal assistant, as Nu displayed a holographic map of the city, pinpointing the terran fighter's location.

"All right~!" Emi cheered as she started to look over in that area and

The girl hovered quite some distance as she scanned around, but once she found her mark...

**"SWEETIE!"** She swooped at breakneck speed, her target on sight.

* * *

Ken noticed this, his survival instincts recovered, and made a break for it. "Nevermindgottagobye!" He managed to slip off of Usagi's grip. In a fluid motion he broke the chains as he dashed at full speed...

...only to be tackled by the iridescent green blurry bullet that was Emi Moroboshi.

"GYARGH!" Ken yelped as he was thrown to the ground, but quickly picked up into a tight hug, and consequently electrified.

"I finally found you, Sweetie! You had me worried, sick!" Emi chided as she straddled the boy on the floor

"E-E-Emi, hehehehe, what a surprise! H-How'd ya find me?" Ken asked nervously.

Behind Emi, a spherical and familiar cat like robot hovered from behind her. "Lady Lum, had informed us that you were currently living in Tomobiki here on Earth, so we assumed that this was where you disappeared to." The robotic butler explained. Ken mouthed a low, spiteful So, that was it, eh?

"But now I found you! Sweetie, I hope you can forgive me for shocking you back there." Emi sweetly asked, as she hugged Ken even tighter.

"LIKE HELL I WILL! ! !" Ken complained.

"Really...?" Emi started in a low growl. "...so...you plan on going back on your word...?" Emi left the question hang as she started sparking up in electricity, Ken immediately panicked. It didn't help that as a code of honor, he was bound by any promise he made...also electric shocks are really painful!

"WHOA! OK OK OK. Apology accepted...please..." The boy fearfully pleaded. Emi's expression softened as she kissed Ken once more.

"That's why you're my Sweetie!~" she beamed.

Usagi, as well as the other students, approached. Ken noticed a huge blood-lust, nothing compared to that day he came to Tomobiki [when the town's worst JDs were about to go into an all-out-war], this was 30 times worse than back then. The men were glaring in pure, undiluted jealousy; the women were glaring in...well... pretty much the same. He noted Usagi had seemingly redirected her hatred towards the Oni girl who had a death-grip on his persona.

"And who are you supposed to be?" Usagi asked. Emi stared at the blond girl, a plain Jane blond girl, her hair sticking up like bunny ears, holding an enormous novelty carrot. Emi clutched the kitsune-like boy even tighter and with a confident and defiant smirk she answered.

"I am Emi Moroboshi, **wife to Ken Aoki.**" She answered proudly as she kept a possessive grip on the fighter, Ken looked more like a zombie.

That was it, Usagi couldn't take it anymore. Ken had married this green haired, exhibitionist, big busted **bimbo! ?**

"Unforgivable..." Usagi gripped the huge novelty carrot-turned-blunt-weapon and raised it over her head. With fire in her eyes, Usagi slammed the improvised weapon...

**"MEN BE DAMNED! ! !"**

Completely missing! She looked up and saw Emi holding Ken, floating some distance overhead. When did she get there? The Oni girl floated down and placed her wayward, currently zombie-like, husband on the ground as she turned to the blond girl.

"Trying to hurt me and my husband?" Emi challenged, as she aimed her hand like a makeshift gun towards Usagi "I won't forgive you!"

Ken snapped out of his funk as he heard this and panicked. **"USAGI, DODGE!"** was the boy's warning.

**"HEAVEN'S RETRIBUTION!" **the Oni girl yelled, unleashing the fury of lightning**  
**

In a split second Ken jumped in between both irate girls, one hand blocking the enormous carrot away, the other blocking the lightning. Both attacks struck at the boy, but while he easily pushed the carrot-bound strike away, he was shocked by the lightning shock right to the core. As the boy writhed in the electric lynch attack, all students watched flabbergasted, only nurse Tsubaki spoke up.

"So...that's what happened to him..." She declared, all the other students nodding in agreement.

Megane watched dumbfounded the whole scene, having just recovered consciousness. But unbeknownst to the teacher, a hand dropped on his shoulder, when Megane turned to look he found himself face to face with a face he had not seen in many years. Ataru, who sported his trademark goofy grin merely said to the bespectacled leader of the gang of four:

"Yo, Megane. Long time, no see. Ready for **round 2**?"

"A-A-A-**Ataru!**..." The teacher managed to sputter out, while behind the Infamous Letcher was the beautiful Oni that had become his wife.

"Hi! It's good to see you all again!" Lum cheerfully greeted, as she clutched her husbands arm holding tight.

The teachers, which is to say the gang of four, Mendou, Shinobu and Inaba could only stare at the couple dumbfounded. They were back, Ataru and Lum had finally come back to Tomobiki. As Megane fell to the floor and crawled back he saw the human cockroach Moroboshi, who had his arm lovingly encircling his wife's waist. Then he turned to look into the scene behind him. An Oni girl, a dead-ringer to his beloved Lum, was cradling the prone form of an unconscious Ken Aoki in her arms.

"Sweetie! C'mon, wake up! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit you! Ouuu~" She turned and growled out at the blonde girl, dropping her husband to the floor. "Look what you made me do! You...you...bunny-eared **tomboy**!"

Usagi glared back at the Oni girl. "I didn't make you do anything you HUSSY! It's your own damn fault, you...you...big breasted **klutz!**"

Both girls glared and growled at each other, then turned and huffed away. Emi instantly jumping to try and nurse an unconscious Ken back to consciousness.

"C'mon Sweetie, please wake up!"

Usagi noticed this and in indignation she yelled at the girl. "Y-you stay away from my **boyfriend!**"

Emi growled at the Usagi, keeping Ken away from the other girl and countered. "**YOU** stay away from my **husband!**" And while clutching Ken's prone form she entered another heated argument with Usagi.

Megane could not believe his eyes, as Cherry walked over to where the old generation stood, he took a polite bow.

"Well, it's nice seeing all of you here. You must all have realized that your stories have long finished, but time flows like a river, and history tends to repeat. Now it's their turn. After all...

**'tis fate in the end...**"

And as the decrepit monk left, Megane wailed to the heavens above,

**"NOT AGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN! ! !"**

Tomobiki had once more become a center of chaos and weirdness, but what would this hold for the indomitable warrior, for the rebellious oni princess, and for everyone, only time would tell.

To be concluded...

* * *

[1]** Nagareboshi taihou: **Translates to "Meteor Cannon", 'nuff said

[2]** Five elements: **Just as Ken said, in japanese philosophy there are 5 elements, the classic ones being fire,water,wind, and earth and the fifth one being void. This last one represents Ken's ki and is believed to be pure energy, limited only to the user's creativity [or lack thereof]

All that's left is the epilogue, thanks for reading/reviewing so far!**  
**


	17. Epilogue

Epilogue - **what now?..._  
_**

All original cast and characters of Urusei Yatsura belong to Rumiko Takahashi. I own only the OCs

Enjoy if you will

* * *

"...And that's my story..." A young, ponytailed, ragged-looking, shifty eyed, somewhat good-looking, roguish teen finished. The youth was no older than 16 years of age, but his body was quite fit, and his senses keen, a mane of black tied in the aforementioned ponytail, with the tip ending in a distinct white, like a fox's tail. A cunning boy who had thought to be able to take on anyone or anything...and proven wrong in the end.

The boy had been telling the fateful tale of how his life had been ruined, in a currently deserted classroom, his audience? well...

Sitting on the teacher's desk, the boy stood up and looked straight forward.

"You're probably wondering what happened next, right? Well..." The youth continued...

Looking to one side, he stared out the window, the enormous Oni battleship looming over the city...

"Yeah, some people had the brilliant idea to take out their cells and take pictures, and sent them to pretty much everyone in town, or hell, probably uploaded them into the internet. Point is soon every news reporter in the prefecture swarmed the school, all itching to get the scoop on "the very first alien encounter" [yeah, right!]. If I'd a known this kind of thing would happen, grrrr..."

"To make a long story short: cat was out of bag. In another time, the Japanese Government could've kept this all under wraps, but in this day and age? No 'effin way. Thanks to the world wide web, everyone and their grannys now knew aliens existed. The whole stinking planet soon knew the name of Emi Moroboshi..."

"...And of course, my name by proxy."

"The higher ups decided to keep a peaceful relation with the Oni, [not that they had much of a choice] to the point they can park their U. F. Os on Japanese air space. Hell, they even tried to officially appoint me as an ambassador!"

"Yeah, not happenin'." The youth scoffed. "Got enough on my plate as is..."

"I soon discovered Hikaru and the other Nine [minus one curiously] had been around town waiting for me, they were happy hearing about my engagement, and decided to stay here with me [no way I was gonna let them drag me all the way back to Kyoto!]...they're currently staying in the cheap, student apartments where I live...yeah it's getting cramped in there..."

"As for Usagi...well..." The boy rubbed the back of his head as he recalled the unpleasant memory.

"When I tried to go and explain everything to her over at her place, she pretty much received me by bombarding me with pretty much anything she could get her hands on...books, DVD cases, tables, TVs, kitchen sinks, Cherry...all the while damning our gender..." The youth then sighed. "I don't think I'm gonna be welcomed around the Miyake household for the time being..."

"As for..._'the missus'_" The boy said, a little spite dripping into his voice "... Emi's back on her home planet ... **for now**... _not that I care_..." the boy grumbled out. "She said that her people were retrieving her old spaceship and repairing it, plus she had to file some immigration forms so that she could officially live on Earth..."

"She mentioned that the process would take about a week...afterwards..." The boy hugged himself, shuddering in fear. "*k-kon* she'll force herself into my life *shudder*"

"Oh, you're probably thinking: _'But Ken, she's so hot and beautiful and sweet too, why would you think that living the rest of your life with her is so bad?'_ , right?"

"Well, let me put it this way: I love Kitsune-udon, I eat it as often as possible, it's my favorite food as a matter of fact, however that doesn't mean I wanna eat it every single, stinking meal of the day, for every, single, stinking day of the year!"

"**Variety**, it's the spice of life, you know? I can't commit to only one woman! And besides..." The youth swept his hair back, in a debonair fashion. "I could never deprive all the babes of the world from this stud right in front of you people, now could I?"

"A-also..." His voice wavered a little. "You try living with a chick that will strike you with lightning at the smallest provocation! I dare ya! *kon*..." A shudder ran through the teen's body, and as it finished he slumped in a depressed gaze

"But still...I made the promise...that I'd make her my wife... no other way around that one... I'm set for life..." The teen said downcast.

And quickly raising his head, a mischievous glint materialized in the boy's eyes.

"...or so you'd think."

Taking a confident pose, the youth declared:

"So she can shoot electric ki and outrun me, **so what?** It's just a matter of time before I'm back to top condition! Already got that** kotatsu-obsessed ghost cat** as my sparring partner, and soon I'll figure out how to either counter or at least **dodge** lightning! No one on Tomobiki, no, Earth has managed to stop me yet and I'll be damned if I give up now! After all..."

The grin in his face widened, akin to a scheming fox about to raid a hen-house

"...while I did promise I'd make Emi my wife, **who said I'd only have one wife?"**

**"_kehehehehe...KAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..."_** The boy laughed, as the video was drawing to an end...

* * *

A Youtube video, marked private, it was titled: **"How I met the Oni"**, as it finished the small portion of the screen displayed a few other relevant videos, all set on a playlist. One was titled 'Alien Invasion!' while another one was titled 'Beautiful Alien Princess', a third was marked curiously...

It read **G. M. A. C. 2010 Tournament - Final Match**

From the front of the screen, a fist tightened, this belonged to a youth bearing an angry scowl on his face, gritting his teeth. It was a young man, the same age as the one who had appeared on the video, donning a t-shirt, some jeans and a jacket, with the characters for 'Koujaku' [Sparrow] embroidered on the back stylishly, his hair,about neck short but ruffled in a brown color, and eyes a dangerous red. His built was fit but lean and he exuded an air of strength. This young man, was currently riding the train, his destination? **Nerima**, with naught but a laptop sitting on his lap and a duffel bag at his feet, containing his belongings. The ruffle-haired boy glared at the screen.

"So...Tomobiki, eh?" The youth said to himself.

The train soon skidded to a stop, and the overhead P.A. system announced:

**Arriving at ShimoTomobiki. ShimoTomobiki. Please retrieve you personal belongings and exit the train orderly.**

The boy closed his laptop and retrieved a duffel-bag from the floor, putting everything away, the young man exited with celerity. Raising his head, his eyes shone as his aura flared to life. A hateful ki bent on only one thing and one thing alone:

**Revenge**

"I've finally found you, **Aoki, you bastard!..."**

**"I'm taking back the title of the 'Strongest'!"**

**...  
**

**THE END**

* * *

And so ends this story, to everyone who has commented, critiqued and read so far, thank you very much.


End file.
